Might Not Be Able to Go to Mass for Solemnity of Mary

[Ricky_C]

On New Year’s Eve, we’re going to be staying the night at our cousins’ house, and all of the Masses for the Solemnity of Mary are during the time we’ll be gone. My family’s Catholic, but our cousins aren’t. I’m 18, home on break from college, and Confirmed. My dad said we’d be going to our cousins’ house anyway, and I don’t think there’s any way the family’s going to be making arrangements to go to the Mass here.
The only way I can think of going to Mass would be going to a parish near our cousins’ house; I’m going to do some research to see if that’s possible, but if we end up not being able to go to Mass, I don’t know what I should do. Do I need to stand up to my parents about this? I don’t want to make things harder than they need to be, but I’m just confused. Thanks in advance, and may God bless you!

 

[Della]

I don’t think you need to stand up to your parents about attending Mass. At 18 you are an adult and are not bound to obey your parents wishes when it conflicts with your religious obligations. Find a Mass at a parish close to your cousin’s house, simply say you are going to Mass and will be back when it’s over, and then just go. Your example will speak volumes to everyone.

 

[1ke]

Find a Mass at a parish close to your cousin’s house, simply say you are going to Mass and will be back when it’s over, and then just go.

Yes. Politely borrow the car keys from your parents or your cousin’s parents.

If your family refuses you the vehicle and you are unable to reasonably go by other transportation-- such as if this is a rural area, you do not have money for a cab, the area lacks public transportation, the weather is inclement, then your obligation would be impeded and it is not your fault.

You can also call your pastor beforehand, explain that at 18 you don’t have your own wheels and may not be able to borrow the family car and ask him for a dispensation from the obligation.

 

[surritter]

You can also call your pastor beforehand, explain that at 18 you don’t have your own wheels and may not be able to borrow the family car and ask him for a dispensation from the obligation.

I’ve heard people say this before, but I don’t think this is necessary. The very fact that you wouldn’t have any way to get to Mass automatically makes the obligation go away (much like being sick on a Sunday).

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

I’ve heard people say this before, but I don’t think this is necessary. The very fact that you wouldn’t have any way to get to Mass automatically makes the obligation go away (much like being sick on a Sunday).

Nope…

What is the dispensation for if not for this?

 

[surritter]

Nope…

What is the dispensation for if not for this?

There is no dispensation needed from a priest because the inability to get to Mass is itself a dispensation. (If you’re really ill on a Sunday morning, do you actually call the rectory for the priest’s permission not to attend?)

 

[EasterJoy]

I’ve heard people say this before, but I don’t think this is necessary. The very fact that you wouldn’t have any way to get to Mass automatically makes the obligation go away (much like being sick on a Sunday).

There is a grey area between able and unable that is sometimes best dealt with by consulting with your pastor ahead of time. If a dispensation is in order, great, but sometimes your pastor also has ideas about how to handle the situation that you didn’t think of.

 

[Elizium23]

There is no dispensation needed from a priest because the inability to get to Mass is itself a dispensation. (If you’re really ill on a Sunday morning, do you actually call the rectory for the priest’s permission not to attend?)

The inability to get to Mass is not what is called a dispensation.

 

[OraLabora]

There is no dispensation needed from a priest because the inability to get to Mass is itself a dispensation. (If you’re really ill on a Sunday morning, do you actually call the rectory for the priest’s permission not to attend?)

Agree. A dispensation isn’t to cover for an impossibility but for a conflict. An example, in my case: I was riding in a two-day, 200 mile charity bike ride to raise funds for cancer research. Attending Mass would have been difficult. I raised $2500. I could have chosen not to complete the second day of the ride to attend Mass, or to miss Mass and complete the ride. My priest thought it was for a good cause and dispensed me; he knows I don’t miss mass lightly. Another example could be to attend an important family event.

On the other hand, I travel a lot and if traveling prevents reasonable efforts to attend Mass, or there is no Mass in reasonable distance from where I am, or I’m ill, or there’s a snowstorm (I live in a rural area with no public transport), I don’t think there is a need to ask. Priests are busy enough, we should be able to make our own judgements.

 

[DAML72]

Agree. A dispensation isn’t to cover for an impossibility but for a conflict. An example, in my case: I was riding in a two-day, 200 mile charity bike ride to raise funds for cancer research. Attending Mass would have been difficult. I raised $2500. I could have chosen not to complete the second day of the ride to attend Mass, or to miss Mass and complete the ride. My priest thought it was for a good cause and dispensed me; he knows I don’t miss mass lightly. Another example could be to attend an important family event.

On the other hand, I travel a lot and if traveling prevents reasonable efforts to attend Mass, or there is no Mass in reasonable distance from where I am, or I’m ill, or there’s a snowstorm (I live in a rural area with no public transport), I don’t think there is a need to ask. Priests are busy enough, we should be able to make our own judgements.

Exactly. I can’t imagine bothering my pastor with a request for dispensation every time I have trouble making it to Mass. He has way too much on his plate!