Mildly autistic? such a thing?

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Ana,

honestly i am flabbergasted that as a Catholic, you would support abortion in any form, rationalized or not.

as i said, having worked extensively with special needs children (downs syndrom, severely autistic, aspberger’s, brain injury, cerebral palsy, speech/language disorders, PDD, mental retardation), i can say that they are UNEQUIVOCALLY valuable members of our societies, families and faith. these children have every right to be born into the world!!!

these children are the innocents. the ones who cheerfully bear the cross laid before them, struggling through life as misunderstood and often devalued children of our Lord. i see the adults these children become, the innocence that is still there after years of living in a hardened world with often very little compassion offered to them. they are a witness to me!! never, ever ever ever would i want to take their precious lives away…

my parents did foster care when i was growing up, and they often accepted abandoned special needs children into our home. it still breaks my heart to think of the hope that would cross each little one’s face as they were offered food to eat, water to quench their thirst and the comfort of a hand to hold. such SIMPLE things, yet so basic to all human beings, regardless of intelligence or place in life. i think many of us “higher functioning” individuals–children or not–become so jaded by the ill treatment we receive from those around us…and yet even the “least” of our bretheren…the children who sometimes can’t communicate effectively, may not have any self-help skills, do not learn with the same ease of others…they are the ones who lead us with the example to hope and carry on, even when things are difficult and they quite literally DO NOT UNDERSTAND–still, they trust.

i pray that all of my future children are healthy, but i would never turn away from the sacrifice or suffering involved in raising a special needs child. my husband and i have often talked about adopting one (or more) to raise in a loving Catholic home. i have learned far more from working with special needs children then ALL the many typical kids i have encountered nearly every day of my life. the mothers and fathers entrusted with the soul of a special needs child are truly very amazing indeed–they have a little saint in the making, right in their very house…a child with special needs is often not culpable for their actions and doesn’t cognitively understand the concept of choice, free will, right and wrong. how amazing to look at a little one, and know without a doubt, that someday this child will MOST DEFINITELY look upon the face of God!!
 
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Princess_Abby:
Ana honestly i am flabbergasted that as a Catholic, you would support abortion in any form, rationalized or not.
I, have made a HUGE typo! My post was a quote of siamesecat’s from the abortion t-shirt thread. My only addition were the emoticons. She is struggling with the abortion issue and I was hoping seeing two of her quotes in contradiction to one another would help her in her journey. I assure you I am in full conformity with the teaching Magisterium on the sanctity of life!!
as i said, having worked extensively with special needs children (downs syndrom, severely autistic, aspberger’s, brain injury, cerebral palsy, speech/language disorders, PDD, mental retardation), i can say that they are UNEQUIVOCALLY valuable members of our societies, families and faith. these children have every right to be born into the world!!!
What a blessing to be able to work so closely with Christ.
these children are the innocents. the ones who cheerfully bear the cross laid before them, struggling through life as misunderstood and often devalued children of our Lord. i see the adults these children become, the innocence that is still there after years of living in a hardened world with often very little compassion offered to them. they are a witness to me!! never, ever ever ever would i want to take their precious lives away…
I feel the same way. I am over and over again struck by their innocence. I love them.:love:
my parents did foster care when i was growing up, and they often accepted abandoned special needs children into our home. it still breaks my heart to think of the hope that would cross each little one’s face as they were offered food to eat, water to quench their thirst and the comfort of a hand to hold. such SIMPLE things, yet so basic to all human beings, regardless of intelligence or place in life. i think many of us “higher functioning” individuals–children or not–become so jaded by the ill treatment we receive from those around us…and yet even the “least” of our bretheren…the children who sometimes can’t communicate effectively, may not have any self-help skills, do not learn with the same ease of others…they are the ones who lead us with the example to hope and carry on, even when things are difficult and they quite literally DO NOT UNDERSTAND–still, they trust.
I praise God for parent’s like yours. And may, in honer of them in Christ, finish the verse you started … “What you have done unto the least of our brethren, you have done unto me.”
i pray that all of my future children are healthy, but i would never turn away from the sacrifice or suffering involved in raising a special needs child. my husband and i have often talked about adopting one (or more) to raise in a loving Catholic home. i have learned far more from working with special needs children then ALL the many typical kids i have encountered nearly every day of my life. the mothers and fathers entrusted with the soul of a special needs child are truly very amazing indeed–they have a little saint in the making, right in their very house…a child with special needs is often not culpable for their actions and doesn’t cognitively understand the concept of choice, free will, right and wrong. how amazing to look at a little one, and know without a doubt, that someday this child will MOST DEFINITELY look upon the face of God!!
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As well as being a saint in the making, I think we can also refer to them as “little saint-makers.”🙂
I am sorry for the misunderstanding. I will try to be more careful in the future, though I must say … your post was BEAUTIFUL.
 
See, my post above?!!:banghead: For the life of me I cannot figure out how to do this quote thing!!
 
I have a 35 year old son who has coped (more or less) with several disabilities, physical and emotional, throughout his life. If he were being diagnosed today, he would probably be classed as relatively high functioning autistic (among other things). Naturally as a parent I look for ways to blame myself, but it is fruitless. At every step of the way we tried to make the right decisions about treatment, schools, and family issues. He has made a career of blaming his parents, sisters, schools, doctors, counsellors, church etc. for everything that is wrong in his life, and refuses to cooperate in any way with anyone who wishes to help him. Except for our continued financial support, he refuses any contact with us at all. Please pray for him, he is the most deeply unhappy person I know. Please don’t give advice, that’s not why I am here.

Raphaela, you are right to investigate anything in your background that can help you deal with problems you may be having in your life know, and to understand what will help you and why. I just pray that you don’t waste the energy and resources you need to live on resentment and second-guessing the activities and motives of your biological and adoptive parents. It is futile and won’t help you. Pray that someday God may grant you the grace to forgive them for any faults, lapses or offenses against you. This forgiveness is for your benefit, not theirs, and will bring you immense strength and healing. God bless you and keep you.
 
Asquared,

I’m sorry to hear that your son blames you for his problems. That’s really unfortunate.

I used to place the blame on everyone I could. Everything that ever went wrong, there was someone to blame. I don’t do that now. The older I get the more I realize that even if they made crappy decisions, they can’t be blamed.

Thanks again everyone for your replies and help.
 
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Ana:
See, my post above?!!:banghead: For the life of me I cannot figure out how to do this quote thing!!
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Ana, to break a group into pieces, place an extra /QUOTE ] QUOTE=Ana ] pair where you want the break to be (without the spaces between the brackets and the text - I encluded the spaces so you could see it.) and type your message between the two to respond to the first part.
 
Raphaela,

Thank you so much for sharing this part of your life story with us. You have my deepest affection and my prayers.

Substitute teaching in the public schools here, I have worked in our Special Ed dept several times. What a great group of kids! We had a group of more severely affected students who were separated in a room of their own for special attention, but there was in particular a boy in the “middle” skills class who was an absolute delight. His functioning level wasn’t very high – he would be given assignments to develop motor skills and increase recognition of size and shape (sorting hardware and plastic bits into individual boxes); Jon rarely talked, and when he did, it was as if he were replaying tapes of things he had heard on tv and radio, vocal inflection as well as words were spot on! (rather exaggerated for normal conversation, if you know what I mean) – but oh! how apt those “replays” were! He kept staff laughing most of the time. He was great.

Once, I ran into his mother, and she was telling me that the entire family had gone to the State Fair the previous week-end. I asked “What was the best part of the fair this year?” and she looked at me, radiant, with tears in her eyes, and said, “Watching Jon laugh.”

I can’t help but contrast this with my niece, who has some sort of developmental difficulty, don’t know what because my sister refuses to discuss it with anyone, denies anything is the matter although she’s regularly carting my niece up to see specialists – she’s bound and determined that the child is hard of hearing or has some other problem that will “fix” everything if they can only catch what it is. My niece was severely delayed, verbally, and demonstrated some obsessive-compulsive behaviors at a very early age; two cousins who work in special ed talked to me, and they said they felt the child would fit a diagnosis under the umbrella of autism. I’m not sure whether my sister is helping or hurting her daughter – again, she refuses to discuss, and consequently refuses to allow anyone else to support or encourage her in any way. 😦

As for finding out your records – only you can evaluate the possible positive and negative ramifications of doing that. I recommend you meditate on the worst that could happen, and then how you will deal with that worst, before you take action.

God bless you, sweetheart!
 
Thank you LauraL!! Your kindness means very much to me!!

It’s unfortuante about your sister, I pray that she will discuss this with you instead of holding back. My sister too, holds back my niece in a different way. My sister suffers from depression…but honestly I think she’s either faking for attention (she’s been known to do that before) or has somethign much worse than depression. My neice, who is 7, has attitude problems because she is constantly being swung back and forth from mother to father (divorced) and grandparents. She hasn’t had a steady home since she was a year old. Everyone fights for her affections. She a very intelligent child and has figured out that if she acts in a negative manner that every one will give her what she wants (I don’t, I played that game as a child, I knwo how it works, and I’m the only one she listens too).
Anyway, my sister now thinks that my niece suffers from severe depression like she does and is trying to put her on anti-depressants and she goes to therapy everyday after school.
All the kid needs is discipline, she wants to know that some one will not give her something. That’s what I figure because she always wants me to babysit her because I am the only one that acts in any way parental with her. So i know the feeling, only I’m trying to convince that nothign is wrong.

As for my records, i need to keep thinking. It’s a big step. The worst part is if i know stuff, I will want to tell my little sister (bio) and I don’t want her to know these things, but I can’t keep anything from her. i dont’ want her to know because she was a baby (1) when we were taken into custody and she doesn’t remember anything. I’ll keep thinking on it.

When my mom first told me about the autism, i was mad, but know, I’m not, because look how much I’ve accomplished. I live self-sufficiently on my own, have for a year. I go to college and work. My social skills lack, yes, but workign as a cashier is helping me a lot because i am forced to talk to people. Lot’s of practice. My fiance is incredibly supportive, which really helps a lot. So after a few days of thinking about, if I have a disability, so what, hasn;t and won’t affect me that much. Maybe I’m glad I didn’t know.
 
My grandson was diagnosed with mild autism. However they later realized it was a misdiagnosis. He had a combination of ADHD and stress related symptoms. Yes he had the early symptoms, but after they had taken care of the stress factors, his communication and relationship with others improved. The ADHD was causing the behavior issues that they thoughtof as autism.
So yes you can have mild autism…and as you have developed fine I would assume your Mom didn’t tell you for one of two reasons. She may have found out the diagnosis was wrong and so you didn’t need to know. Or she might have been saving you from being labeled…so that you could reach your full potential. Either way I think she did right not to tell you till you were older atleast.
Debbie
 
Ana!! My sincerest apologies, then! I had no idea you were trying to quote anything :o . Honestly, I was so confused because I’ve read many of your posts and you always seem so solid in your faith that I was like…“WHAAAAAAAAAAAT?”

Please forgive me. I appreciate you being so gracious about my confusion. 🙂

God bless.
 
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Princess_Abby:
Ana!! My sincerest apologies, then! I had no idea you were trying to quote anything :o . Honestly, I was so confused because I’ve read many of your posts and you always seem so solid in your faith that I was like…“WHAAAAAAAAAAAT?”

Please forgive me. I appreciate you being so gracious about my confusion. 🙂

God bless.
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No need to apologize! My post was confusing, and it was worth it to me to hear your beautiful, passionate, and inspiring post. May God rise up more people like you. I too am “flabbergasted” AND saddened when I hear of a fellow catholic who does not yet fully understand the Church’s teaching on the sanctitiy of life. I find it much more scandalous when a catholic attempts to assume the pro-choice position. I say attempts because, whether they admit it to themselves or not, once they do so, they have ceased to remain in communion with the Catholic Church. No matter how Catholic they claim to be!!
 
Just a suggestion… there is also something called aspergers… its a form of autism behavior, with enough differences, and I believe almost always if not always, milder symptoms. Back when you were younger, I don’t believe this name existed, but as I’m don’t know how old you are… you might want to look into that as well.
Serena
 
If you’re concerned about your/your mom’s records, maybe you can get some assistance by a netural third party. Talk to a lawyer, or even someone from your parish or diocese. Tell them the specific things you’re concerned of, or wish to know about (does autism run in the family? is there other medical conditions that you are at a higher risk for, and should know about?). Have them check the records for you–and if it’s a lawyer, keep a copy of the records for you. The laywer passes along to you the specific information that you asked for, and nothing else. This way you know the things that you need to know, and it doesn’t have to leave you open to read something that you didn’t need to read. You would want it to be a third party to do the reading, and not your mother, fiance, or a friend–that would put too much pressure on them. My husband and I have been thinking of adopting, and we’ve been considering doing something like this with our children’s records. It may end up being complicated, but I would think that it is possible.
 
Raphaela,

I am an Occupational Therapist and I work with adults who have autism among other things. I agree with other posters who suggested you look at Aspberger’s Syndrome – it’s sort of “autism-light.” Aspberger’s was rarely diagnosed in previous years so they would say autism-like… also, to qualify for special ed services, kids are labeled with a diagnosis that may not be correct…

Another possibility is sensory defensiveness – called tactile defensiveness until recently. Your experiences with clothing and touch from your fiance sound like classic examples. Sensory Defensiveness is an aversion to certain types of sensation and for many people with autism, this is a major characteristic, but many other people have this defensiveness without being autistic.

There is something called the Adult Sensory Profile by Winnie Dunn – it is a standardized instrument that you would fill out to show how you react to certain types of sensation. When completed, you get a standardized score that compares you with other adults in how you relate to sensation.

Dunn does not necessarily look at these differences as a disability, but as differences that need accomodation – if you are sensitive to light, wear sunglasses when outside – that is an obvious example, but there are others that are less obvious – as Occupational Therapists, we bill by the hour, so I can’t give away all our trade secrets on free postings…

On a serious note, as a child in an abusive situation, it served you to be protective and defensive. Now that you are an adult, it can get in the way of relationships with those you love and care about.

I would recommend you see an Occupational Therapist who has experience with sensory processing disorders – ideally one who has experience with adults. Specicially, if you do have sensory defensiveness, there is a technique called the Wilbarger Brushing Protocol (It’s a self-massage and exercise program) that has been effective in diminishing defensiveness for many folks.

May God Bless you on your journey.

Dennis.
 
Thanks Dennis, that info was great!! This sensory defensiveness, does it happen with hearing as well?
 
You can be defensive in any sensation – sound and touch are probably the most common. See an Occupational Therapist if you can arrange it. As I said, for some folks, it makes major changes for them. D.
 
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