Minor collision in a parking lot

[RicciP]

Hi. I do not consider myself spiritual, but I was raised catholic and I would like some spiritual advice to try and feel better about myself, which is why I am here.I hope you don’t mind. Something which should be very trivial happened today but it is upsetting me.

I had a very little bump, in my car, while parking in a particularly awkard space. There is almost no sign of damage to my own car, but there was a small scratch to the car next to mine. An elderly man owned it. He didn’t see the collision but I explained what had happened to him and apologised and offered to put it right.

We were near a local mechanic’s so I asked them for a quote to paint over the scratch, which is about $160 in US dollars. The reason it is this expensive is because the mechanics have to throw away the rest of the paints that they don’t use once they’re opened. I am going to pay this because he is fully entitled to it, and I’m morally obliged to fix what I did, but at the same time I feel a little bit hurt because for the size of the scratch I would never have accepted that much money from anybody if it was my car. The car was old, and looks in poor condition so cosmetically I do not see any reason to have it fixed, other than diy touch up to to protect a finger-end patch of rust that is now exposed.

I’m left feeling terrible about myself, and have a guilty conscience that I can’t shake off. He kept telling me about he and his partner’s medical conditions, how expensive it is for them to rent and that the rest of their family are too far away to support them. He wasn’t trying to get more money out of me, he just wanted to let me know how much I had affected him by bumping his car.

I am helping him to get everything sorted out now, and he thanked me a couple of times for my being helpful but I don’t feel like I was forgiven.

I don’t want to feel guilty the way I do because it was an honest to goodness accident that I am trying to put right, and at the same time I don’t want to feel resentful at spending so much money on such a small amount of damage, which I myself would brush off. But I do, a little bit. It makes me not want to be as generous with strangers as I have been in the past, and I keep thinking if in future I am in his shoes, I wouldn’t brush off a little bit of damage to my car, I’d also want it payed for because of what has happened here.

Please help me to be rational if you can.

Thank you.

 

[Isca]

You did the right thing - you owned up and immediately offered to have it put right by professionals. I know he had an old car, but I certainly think from what you say that he’ll never be able to buy a newer one - so I’m sure he appreciated what you did, even if he seemed a bit distracted at the time.

He may not have noticed the scratch if you’d not admitted to the bump, but you would have known that you’d done it and you would have felt bad about it (quite rightly). Older people get very upset by little things which younger people would just shrug off, so it’s not surprising he seemed over-anxious about it. But you acted in the proper way, so well done! Don’t feel bad about it all, it’s just one of those things. Most of us who drive have been in a similar situation at one time or another.

In the UK, people always want to involve the insurance companies which can become extremely expensive, as it affect your premiums adversely for many years to come. So maybe it wasn’t so bad to pay $160!

 

[Catholic1954]

Hi. I do not consider myself spiritual, but I was raised catholic and I would like some spiritual advice to try and feel better about myself, which is why I am here.I hope you don’t mind. Something which should be very trivial happened today but it is upsetting me.

I had a very little bump, in my car, while parking in a particularly awkard space. There is almost no sign of damage to my own car, but there was a small scratch to the car next to mine. An elderly man owned it. He didn’t see the collision but I explained what had happened to him and apologised and offered to put it right.

We were near a local mechanic’s so I asked them for a quote to paint over the scratch, which is about $160 in US dollars. The reason it is this expensive is because the mechanics have to throw away the rest of the paints that they don’t use once they’re opened. I am going to pay this because he is fully entitled to it, and I’m morally obliged to fix what I did, but at the same time I feel a little bit hurt because for the size of the scratch I would never have accepted that much money from anybody if it was my car. The car was old, and looks in poor condition so cosmetically I do not see any reason to have it fixed, other than diy touch up to to protect a finger-end patch of rust that is now exposed.

I’m left feeling terrible about myself, and have a guilty conscience that I can’t shake off. He kept telling me about he and his partner’s medical conditions, how expensive it is for them to rent and that the rest of their family are too far away to support them. He wasn’t trying to get more money out of me, he just wanted to let me know how much I had affected him by bumping his car.

I am helping him to get everything sorted out now, and he thanked me a couple of times for my being helpful but I don’t feel like I was forgiven.

I don’t want to feel guilty the way I do because it was an honest to goodness accident that I am trying to put right, and at the same time I don’t want to feel resentful at spending so much money on such a small amount of damage, which I myself would brush off. But I do, a little bit. It makes me not want to be as generous with strangers as I have been in the past, and I keep thinking if in future I am in his shoes, I wouldn’t brush off a little bit of damage to my car, I’d also want it payed for because of what has happened here.

Please help me to be rational if you can.

Thank you.

You did the right thing. It cost what it cost to fix the damage; pay up, apologize again and be on your way. This time next month, he will have forgotten all about it and you will be recovering from the loss of the $160.00. These little boo-boos happen in life, next time it could be you with the scratch and you can handle it your way. Well done.

 

[CB_Catholic]

You did the right thing, and if it makes you feel any better, the cost to repair a very small scratch on the bumper of the car I accidentally hit in the church parking lot was $350.00.

I paid it instead of turning it into the insurance company even though I have accident forgiveness. I figured that if this is what a scratch costs, I’d hate to see what something more substantial would be!! I’d rather save the accident forgiveness for something bigger (hopefully not).

 

[RicciP]

Thanks guys I’m happy that you all think I did the right thing. I’ve been asking myself over and over if he would have even noticed it and if I made the best decision to stay because it seems now like we’re both upset. He is elderly and very stressed about what happened, and I am not used to upsetting anybody like that.

Unless he was confused and I am inclined to think that he was because he is retired, the man told me his living costs for he and his wife are $640 a week in which case I would have to consider (without making any judgement) that we place different values on money, and it will seem more reasonable to him to spend such money on a small scratch to his car. The same as I will place less value on money than anybody with less than myself - I think that is quite natural. But not only that, he is a very elderly man and his car will represent mobility to him which is all he has, and what I think is a little scratch will seem like a much bigger problem to him. I am sorry to say that yes this will almost certainly be his last car. Possibly I am being prejudice saying these things but our perspectives are so far apart and I think this is what is giving me conflict. I want to understand both our points of view so that I can feel better about myself, less guilty and less resenting which I know is wrong.

It really is difficult to understand just how inconsistent these small accidents cost compared to the price of a car nowadays, and yes I do consider myself lucky that he didn’t want to get the insurers involved. $350 for a scratch to a bumper I find terrifying CB Catholic I’m sorry you were in that situation.

I have arranged to see him again to help him get about while his car is being painted, so I hope then that he will accept my apology and I can be happy with my conscience (if not also with my bank account).

Thanks to each of you for your advice guys, I really did need the reassurance it has been a big help.

 

[CB_Catholic]

Thanks guys I’m happy that you all think I did the right thing. I’ve been asking myself over and over if he would have even noticed it and if I made the best decision to stay because it seems now like we’re both upset. He is elderly and very stressed about what happened, and I am not used to upsetting anybody like that.

Unless he was confused and I am inclined to think that he was because he is retired, the man told me his living costs for he and his wife are $640 a week in which case I would have to consider (without making any judgement) that we place different values on money, and it will seem more reasonable to him to spend such money on a small scratch to his car. The same as I will place less value on money than anybody with less than myself - I think that is quite natural. But not only that, he is a very elderly man and his car will represent mobility to him which is all he has, and what I think is a little scratch will seem like a much bigger problem to him. I am sorry to say that yes this will almost certainly be his last car. Possibly I am being prejudice saying these things but our perspectives are so far apart and I think this is what is giving me conflict. I want to understand both our points of view so that I can feel better about myself, less guilty and less resenting which I know is wrong.

It really is difficult to understand just how inconsistent these small accidents cost compared to the price of a car nowadays, and yes I do consider myself lucky that he didn’t want to get the insurers involved. $350 for a scratch to a bumper I find terrifying CB Catholic I’m sorry you were in that situation.

I have arranged to see him again to help him get about while his car is being painted, so I hope then that he will accept my apology and I can be happy with my conscience (if not also with my bank account).

Thanks again for your advice guys, I really did need the reassurance it has been a big help.

Sometimes people take things more seriously than we think they should. The lady I bumped into was elderly and absolutely livid about her car. It was before Mass and I could see she was trying mightily not to give me the royal what-for, more than I already got. The scratch was no more than 1/2 inch on the lower front bumper, you had to look for it. When she came to my house with the outrageous estimate and I had written the check, she was still mad. I felt bad that I probably had ruined her entire day (or even week from her reaction), and that I had not been more careful, but my feeling bad was short-lived. I didn’t do it on purpose and I did not try to blame it on her parking her car crooked in her space. I apologized for it. I did the right thing and if she was unforgiving, that was her problem. It was a very minor incident. So don’t beat yourself up, and don’t let the elderly gentleman throw a guilt trip on you. You did the right thing, and the matter should be settled. If he does not accept your apology, that is his problem. It’s not like you totaled his car and he ended up in the hospital for a month.

 

[RicciP]

Our cases are very similar I think, and you are absolutely right, I shouldn’t let it bother me any more than it has already. Like you I am doing everything I can to put it right. I do think I’ve done more than the other man would in my situation, which absolutely anyone could find themselves in. And I know it didn’t ought to be a game of one-upmanship but I’m content with that thought. Anyway you’ve really made me feel a lot better so thank you.

 

[RicciP]

Thank you for your response. I genuinely want to make amends, and I didn’t hope or expect him not to take any money for it - I would have insisted to pay at least so I could feel better about it (which is I admit partly for my own sake as well as his). Although in my mind the cost to get some paint on it and to cover the inconvenience I placed at $30 to $40. I would also have taken this amount for the damage if I were him, then I’d have skipped the mechanic and tried to buy the paint myself. At this time I was already promising to pay. So I suggested we ask a machanic just to be sure and I was so, so wrong in my estimate. I just couldn’t believe $160 for it. I don’t regret offering to pay, but that really did give me a fright. I’ve only paid for car parts and servicing before, of my own car. I had no idea a paint job that small could ever cost that much. This is my first mistake I think, if I were less ignorant to the cost maybe I’d have been more prepared to accept it?

But I do find it hard to justify this money on the car which I would think to be more than 15 years old, and has other signs of damage and at the same time I was surprised that the man thought nothing of it. And perhaps he shouldn’t, because maybe it shouldn’t matter the state of his car. All I know is if it was a newer car and in good condition I would feel differently.

I’d just like to know that, at the end of all this I’ll be on a clean slate with the man and he will appreciative that I’ve done what I can.

God only allows situations in life in order to bring a greater good out of them.

I’m going to hold onto this thought.

 

[BettyBoop416]

I am helping him to get everything sorted out now, and he thanked me a couple of times for my being helpful but I don’t feel like I was forgiven.

You have done nothing for which you need to be forgiven. It was a very minor accident. Accidents happen. It’s not like you wronged this gentleman on purpose. You owned up to your part in the accident and did everything you could do to make it right. It’s done. You can walk away with a clean conscious.

 

[underacloud]

I’m going to be a bit blunt, but I really can’t see what you’re upset about. You damaged the man’s car. You had a machanic take a look and give a quote. You have a responsibility to make good on this, which you know.

But your posts oscillate between you feeling guilty about this and feeling resentment about having to fix it.

You shouldn’t feel guilty. These things happen and you’re doing what can be done to fix it.

You also shouldn’t feel any resentment. You acknowledge yourself that the man is “fully entitled to it”.

There’s no reason to feel any particular emotions one way or another in this situation. Fix it up and move on.

 

[Groo]

The car may have sentimental value to him, or it may be one of the few things he feels pride in owning.

Once my neighbor’s son (man in his late 50’s)accused me of scratching his vehicle while backing out of the driveway (he parked in the street). His car was so old and beat up that I’m surprised he noticed any additional damage. He said that he just wished I would have fessed up to hitting it and didn’t care about the damage - although he clearly did. I didn’t hit his car so I didn’t offer to pay for anything. Anyone could have hit it in the street.

Then another time he got upset with me for leaving my trash container on the side of my driveway near his car. He was worried about the garbage truck hitting his car since my trash container was so close. I didn’t have any problem with the request, but I was surprised how personally he took this. So I apologized profusely and told him I would move the container elsewhere in the future, which I did.

My impression of this man was that he was unemployed for a long time and felt very insecure. This beat-up old car was the only possession he felt any pride in owning. It was a piece of junk, but darnit, it was his piece of junk. I felt sorry for him, because he looked like he lived a very hard life. And outside of the couple car confrontations, he was a nice man.

I suspect this old man had a similar pride in owning this old vehicle. It may be all he has anymore that’s worth anything. You did a good thing by paying for the repairs.

 

[pensmama87]

Based on your response (in my opinion) you clearly feel some resentment towards this man and whether you admit it openly or not, in your heart you expected him to reject the offer of $160 and try and get it fixed for $30?

Where I live $30 does not go very far. As it is this man has already had to take time out of his day to drive to the shop, wait for an estimate and will have to drive there again. You expected him to do you the additional favor of free labor and time and fix the car himself. If I were in his shoes I might have said just forget it and called the insurance company to be perfectly blunt.

I have been in a few parking lot incidents in my life. I have been GRATEFUL when the individual agreed to take cash rather than report it to the insurance company. I knew if the insurance company found out that my rates would be increased! For some reason you feel entitled to be forgiven this error, that is the heart of this matter I believe. Did your parents raise you and forgive you small and large infractions? Were you held accountable for mistakes that you made? Something about this situation bothers you, deep inside you it bothers you that you are paying for this, I don’t think this is about money so much, as much is it is about you are being held accountable to a higher standard than you believe you should be. So far, no one on this internet forum agrees with that line of thinking. Something to ponder. You are not a bad person, just something to think about. God bless you.

I have been rearended twice, causing substantial body damage to each of the vehicles I was driving at the time. Both drivers were almost harassing to the degree that they insisted that they would “make everything right” and that there was “no need” to call the insurance companies. It made me very nervous, to be honest. And it is a huge inconvenience to the person not at fault. I wanted the assurance of knowing that the repairs would be paid for, and even with insurance involvement it was really inconvenient. The accidents lowered the cars’ value, and in one case, I was on my way to work and I lost wages that day (they were very nice about it, but I was an hourly employee so the fact that I wasn’t there meant no pay for that missed time). It would have been even more time to go to a shop (if one had even been open, because I worked in the evenings), and there is little to no way I would have left it up to chance that the driver would reappear to pay for it if I took it for an estimate myself.

Cars are expensive, repairs to them are expensive, people aren’t very knowledgeable about them, and there are lots of people who treat cars and other drivers recklessly. It’s nervewracking for everyone when something happens, even if it’s minor. I think, OP, what you are feeling is very natural, but I would try very hard to not put any of your resentment of what happened on the other driver.

 

[RicciP]

Thank you everybody for your (name removed by moderator)ut, I really appreciate it.

Based on your response (in my opinion) you clearly feel some resentment towards this man and whether you admit it openly or not, in your heart you expected him to reject the offer of $160 and try and get it fixed for $30?

Where I live $30 does not go very far. As it is this man has already had to take time out of his day to drive to the shop, wait for an estimate and will have to drive there again. You expected him to do you the additional favor of free labor and time and fix the car himself. If I were in his shoes I might have said just forget it and called the insurance company to be perfectly blunt.

I have been in a few parking lot incidents in my life. I have been GRATEFUL when the individual agreed to take cash rather than report it to the insurance company. I knew if the insurance company found out that my rates would be increased! For some reason you feel entitled to be forgiven this error, that is the heart of this matter I believe. Did your parents raise you and forgive you small and large infractions? Were you held accountable for mistakes that you made? Something about this situation bothers you, deep inside you it bothers you that you are paying for this, I don’t think this is about money so much, as much is it is about you are being held accountable to a higher standard than you believe you should be. So far, no one on this internet forum agrees with that line of thinking. Something to ponder. You are not a bad person, just something to think about. God bless you.

I really thought $30-$40 would cover it. Somebody once threw a rock at my dad’s car which left a scratch (and a bit of a dent) and he managed to pick up a small bottle of car paint from a shop. Obviously I know if a mechanic paints it there are going to be labour charges on top of it but I didn’t think it could ever be that much. And the man seemed indifferent at the price which surprised me.

We walked to the mechanic fortunately we were just next to one and a guy looked at the scratch straight away, but that could have been the case. Hm to be honest I don’t think it would be much of anything to paint it either really, just a matter of getting the paint. Do you mind if I ask why you would have called the insurance company? I’ve never used them before so I don’t know how they would manage it, but wouldn’t that be more of a hassle? (for the person making the claim I mean). Is it because I would have insulted him if I tried to give him $30 to get some paint? If it’s because of this, I didn’t mention the figure I had in my head and I didn’t suggest he do it himself, that was in my head as well. I just thought that’s what might happen. All I told him in conversation was I’d pay for it and then suggested we get a quote from a mechanic. When we got the quote I did blurt out wow it’s a lot more than I thought, but agreed to pay it straight away.

I do think it’s fair to forgive me, if I am sorry and put it right. And I am very sorry, though I was also upset (and after thinking on it, a little resentful) that he still seemed very anrgy in spite of it all. This is where I have conflicting emotions and need advice to help manage. That bit of resentment isn’t a good thing I know, but how do you manage guilt when somebody doesn’t forgive you, without judging the other person in some form or another? I tend to get anxious about things and keep hold of them, and don’t think I’m stong enough to forget about it.

No, my faults are my own, and not to do with how I was raised. (Sorry this is all I feel comfortable to say). I still have a lot to learn about life I can say that much.

Cars are expensive, repairs to them are expensive, people aren’t very knowledgeable about them, and there are lots of people who treat cars and other drivers recklessly. It’s nervewracking for everyone when something happens, even if it’s minor. I think, OP, what you are feeling is very natural, but I would try very hard to not put any of your resentment of what happened on the other driver.

You are absolutely right.

 

[pensmama87]

I do think it’s fair to forgive me, if I am sorry and put it right. And I am very sorry, though I was also upset (and after thinking on it, a little resentful) that he still seemed very anrgy in spite of it all. This is where I have conflicting emotions and need advice to help manage. That bit of resentment isn’t a good thing I know, but how do you manage guilt when somebody doesn’t forgive you, without judging the other person in some form or another? I tend to get anxious about things and keep hold of them, and don’t think I’m stong enough to forget about it.

It’s natural to be angry and frustrated by life’s little blips. You aren’t privy to all of the other things that go on in this man’s life. That also means you aren’t responsible for those things, or for how he reacts. It is unrealistic to expect that a person would be thrilled by a car accident, no matter how minor. You also don’t know that he didn’t forgive you or feel badly afterwards for being a bit brusque, etc.

I get upset with my children for spilling their milk at the dinner table. Sure it’s a cheap table and its already got scratches on it, and no, wiping milk up doesn’t take a long time, but it’s still annoying, even though I know in my head they’re children and that’s what they do. I don’t always handle it graciously - that part I can work better on. But I don’t think I’m ever going to reach a state - unless it’s after this life - where I’m not annoyed by things like that. It would be wrong for my child to expect me to not feel annoyed (though they of course have the right to expect me to treat them fairly!) But we can’t expect people to feel a certain way and then resent the fact that they don’t. We just don’t have that much control over the world.

 

[RicciP]

It’s natural to be angry and frustrated by life’s little blips. You aren’t privy to all of the other things that go on in this man’s life. That also means you aren’t responsible for those things, or for how he reacts. It is unrealistic to expect that a person would be thrilled by a car accident, no matter how minor. You also don’t know that he didn’t forgive you or feel badly afterwards for being a bit brusque, etc.

I get upset with my children for spilling their milk at the dinner table. Sure it’s a cheap table and its already got scratches on it, and no, wiping milk up doesn’t take a long time, but it’s still annoying, even though I know in my head they’re children and that’s what they do. I don’t always handle it graciously - that part I can work better on. But I don’t think I’m ever going to reach a state - unless it’s after this life - where I’m not annoyed by things like that. It would be wrong for my child to expect me to not feel annoyed (though they of course have the right to expect me to treat them fairly!) But we can’t expect people to feel a certain way and then resent the fact that they don’t. We just don’t have that much control over the world.

The analogy is great, and do you know, I think this is it. I’m not being fair myself because 1.) I’m presuming he felt the same after we left, and 2.) I’m being unrealistic about him forgiving me so quickly after being annoyed. The fact that I spent what I had thought to be a disproportionate sum of money doesn’t speed up the healing process. And it’s not that he lacks compassion or that he refused to accept my apology, it’s just, he didn’t do it there and then and I shouldn’t judge him for that let alone resent it. Would you say that’s right? Feels right.

 

[underacloud]

The fact that I spent what I had thought to be a disproportionate sum of money doesn’t speed up the healing process.

You are fixated on this issue. You need to let it go.

Seriously, this is a very minor road incident and not something to be so worked up over.

 

[RicciP]

You are fixated on this issue. You need to let it go.

Seriously, this is a very minor road incident and not something to be so worked up over.

On the one hand I recognize that a bump like this should be a bit more of a trivial thing, and I think a lot of other people could handle it better than me, but on the other hand I have trouble forgetting about it. I don’t know why that is. But I’d guess it’s because this is the first time I’ve been in - not an argument, because it wasn’t an argument - but a bad situation with a stranger? I’ve had fall outs with friends and family like I presume everybody has at one stage or another., but it has always been somebody I know. Plus I’m quite timid in person I’d say. Maybe that’s also it? I find it really hard to say.

 

[underacloud]

But I’d guess it’s because this is the first time I’ve been in - not an argument, because it wasn’t an argument - but a bad situation with a stranger?

So your main hangup is that the man hasn’t been gracious in accepting your help.

He is, understandably, annoyed. Minor road accidents are always annoying. Apart from damage to the car, which can be fixed, they cost time and are very inconvenient. Regardless of the repair to the car itself, you cannot replace someone else’s lost time.
That’s just a reality in drving.

Everyone will, at some stage, be involved in some sort of accident, and it will be annoying. You have done all you can and should.

 

[Joie_de_Vivre]

Thanks guys I’m happy that you all think I did the right thing. I’ve been asking myself over and over if he would have even noticed it and if I made the best decision to stay because it seems now like we’re both upset. He is elderly and very stressed about what happened, and I am not used to upsetting anybody like that.

Unless he was confused and I am inclined to think that he was because he is retired, the man told me his living costs for he and his wife are $640 a week in which case I would have to consider (without making any judgement) that we place different values on money, and it will seem more reasonable to him to spend such money on a small scratch to his car. The same as I will place less value on money than anybody with less than myself - I think that is quite natural. But not only that, he is a very elderly man and his car will represent mobility to him which is all he has, and what I think is a little scratch will seem like a much bigger problem to him. I am sorry to say that yes this will almost certainly be his last car. Possibly I am being prejudice saying these things but our perspectives are so far apart and I think this is what is giving me conflict. I want to understand both our points of view so that I can feel better about myself, less guilty and less resenting which I know is wrong.

It really is difficult to understand just how inconsistent these small accidents cost compared to the price of a car nowadays, and yes I do consider myself lucky that he didn’t want to get the insurers involved. $350 for a scratch to a bumper I find terrifying CB Catholic I’m sorry you were in that situation.

I have arranged to see him again to help him get about while his car is being painted, so I hope then that he will accept my apology and I can be happy with my conscience (if not also with my bank account).

Thanks to each of you for your advice guys, I really did need the reassurance it has been a big help.

That cost may be because they require care.

 

[RicciP]

I’ve felt a lot better about everything today. I’ve thought about it every now and then but it hasn’t affected my mood. I think I just needed to realise how naiive I as being thinking I could fix it so easily with him.

I’m thinking I must have either misheared what he said about his living costs, or misunderstood or he was muddled up. He’s retired, and I don’t think anybody would have that much money on a pension when I work it out.

I’ve never been to a mechanic for a car repair, not for body work or paint work that is. My estimate was a long way off though right? . I based it on how much I thought one of those small bottles of paint would cost and how much other repairs have cost me for mechanical parts. It seems a bit weird getting my head around it being more than I usually pay for the normal things, replacing mechanical parts etc. Not a lot more, just a little bit more. I thought they would be bigger jobs. That’s lack of experience I think.

I didn’t give him the money yet, we swapped details and then booked his car in with the mechanic who gave us the quote. We arranged that I’m going with him next week when he takes his car in because he needs a ride and then I’m going to give him a ride when it’s ready too so he can pick it up and the mechanic is going to bill me when we collect it.

It’s his money if he wants to repair the scratch but I do think it would be put to better use if he could find some cheap paint and keep the rest, because it wasn’t especially noticable to me. It doesn’t matter though if it means more to him to fix it properly. He might be as worried about that scratch as I have been about bumping his car and it wouldn’t be perfect if he did it himself.

I don’t feel any bad towards him now, and I haven’t done today. He might still be annoyed when I see him next week I don’t know, but hopefully the mechanic will do a good job and after that I will be able to forget about it now.

You’ve all offered me some really good advice and haven’t made me feel like I’m being silly for having an issue with this. A lot of people have far more serious things going on in their lives and this is the biggest thing to throw me for a long time which might not seem so bad. I just want to let you know I appreciate that.