ok, here’s a longer post. I’ve read your first few posts and then skipped to the final pages to see what you have done in the last few months and you are still living in torment. The time for blaming yourself or someone else is over. It’s time to take responsibility for your own life and your childrens lives.
You got an mba in 4 years so I’m not going to insult your intelligence. The man you are living with is an arrogant fool. You are lucky not to have an std or worse. Your marriage vows mean nothing to him. You need to find objective professional advice. You need to speak to a professional counsellor alone.
If your husband drinks and drives with the children in the car then You are to blame. Stand up for yourself. Have him arrested. As I said in the first post you have no self esteem. It has been stamped into the ground. And you have allowed this to happen. You need to take it back. You need help and support from other intelligent experienced women in this problem area.
If you are getting advice from a priest please understand that some priests are wiser and more aware of the realities of modern marriages than others.
Because you are hurting so much you are incapable of asking yourself the simplest of questions.
How long more can I inflict this pain on myself.
To be honest I don’t see your husband changing into a thoughtful compassionate man. The only way that he will change is if he is given a massive shock to his system. In order to do that you need to build yourself up, show yourself some love , some kindness! Stop beating yourself up!
Everybody makes mistakes! Everybody! If you don’t find the tools to recover your self esteem right now then this sham of a marriage will continue for as long as he likes.
- Speak to a women’s aid counsellor.
- Get free legal advice from a wise (and catholic if you want, your parish can give you a number ) lawyer.
- The children are yours, when he drink and drove with them in the car, he relinquished his right to call himself a father.
- The house is yours and your childrens.
You need good advice. You need mental space to calm your mind and make clear decisions.
If you want spiritual advice there are many who can help. Check their professional cvs. You are an intelligent woman, don’t take the advice of any stranger (like me!)
Most of all you have to dump all this guilt and fear and stand up for yourself and your children. Do it today. Pick up the parish phone and get the numbers for free advice places.
Talk it out with intelligent wise adults. Your husband is an ***. Whether he can change or not is no longer your responsibility.
You are a mother. Stand up for yourself! your house. your children. your future.
be kind to yourself and take the action of very wise counsellors and your conscience.
I won’t be here to read your responses most likely. It doesnt matter. It’s your life. Be the miracle you are praying for. Surround yourself with good people.
When your self respect has risen 600% then you will be back to where God demands you to be. Toughen up!
Take care of yourself and use your intelligence and maternal abilities.