Miserable with NFP!

[hasikelee]

I haven’t read through this whole thread, so forgive me if I say something that has already been covered. I have to say that I’m miserable with NFP also. I have been studying it for the past few months, but I am too scared to use it, because it seems like such a gamble to me. Getting pregnant would be the absolute worst thing that could happen. Why do I say this?? Because I suffer from a mental illness, and there are times when I am incapable of taking care of myself, much less a child. My child would probably suffer a great deal because of my mental illness. So for me, if NFP fails, it would be absolutely devastating. I’m not willing to take such a risk. There are days when I can’t even function, and I am out of touch with reality, yet I am expected to keep track of my body symtoms with NFP when I can’t even think rational thoughts. I was on artificial birth control for a while, but I no longer use it because I do not want to offend God, and because that isn’t 100% reliable either. So right now my husband and I no longer have sex. It has severely damaged our marriage. My husband has turned to porn, and we have grown apart. I would like to get a hysterectomy, since that is 100% reliable, but I know that would be going against Church teaching. So I have two choices here: I can either abstain from sex for my entire marriage, further damaging my relationship with my husband, or I can use NFP and run the risk of getting pregnant with a child who will more than likely have a horrible life because of my mental illness. So I can either make my husband miserable, or I can make my future child miserable. Which choice should I make?? Who’s life gets destroyed??

Hi,

Have you considered taking a class, perhaps at your local community college? Anatomy & Physiology, Gross Anatomy and Human Biology are all great ideas.

Or, if you are a self-learner, try googling for information. Learning about how your body works can take away all the fear. Scientific facts can help you a lot!

P.s. Have you researched hysterctomies? They have serious consequences, so don’t fall into the belief that it is the easy way out!

 

[KellyK]

Hi,

Have you considered taking a class, perhaps at your local community college? Anatomy & Physiology, Gross Anatomy and Human Biology are all great ideas.

Or, if you are a self-learner, try googling for information. Learning about how your body works can take away all the fear. Scientific facts can help you a lot!

P.s. Have you researched hysterctomies? They have serious consequences, so don’t fall into the belief that it is the easy way out!

I have studied NFP extensively over the past few months, and I have had very good instructors in it. I know NFP well. I know how my body works, despite the fact that I have reproductive problems. But NFP is not 100% perfect. There is room for error, regardless of how well you use it. I don’t want to take that chance. I have also studied hysterectomies, and I know there are risks associated with that also. But I also know that if I would get pregnant, there is a very good chance that my child would be born with the same mental illness that I suffer from. I would rather risk the surgery and the after-effects of a hysterectomy than risk having to raise a child in my mental state. A child’s life is nothing to gamble with–and that is exactly what I would be doing if I used NFP. And, regardless of how well I know my body and NFP, there are days where I can barely function–and that includes charting my body symptoms. If I have gaps missing on my chart during each cycle because I was not well that day, then doesn’t that give me more room for error, therefore increasing my chances of getting pregnant??

 

[Feanaro_s_Wife]

I have studied NFP extensively over the past few months, and I have had very good instructors in it. I know NFP well. I know how my body works, despite the fact that I have reproductive problems. But NFP is not 100% perfect. There is room for error, regardless of how well you use it. I don’t want to take that chance. I have also studied hysterectomies, and I know there are risks associated with that also. But I also know that if I would get pregnant, there is a very good chance that my child would be born with the same mental illness that I suffer from. I would rather risk the surgery and the after-effects of a hysterectomy than risk having to raise a child in my mental state. A child’s life is nothing to gamble with–and that is exactly what I would be doing if I used NFP. And, regardless of how well I know my body and NFP, there are days where I can barely function–and that includes charting my body symptoms. If I have gaps missing on my chart during each cycle because I was not well that day, then doesn’t that give me more room for error, therefore increasing my chances of getting pregnant??

**
I don’t want to get too personal, but since it seems you have knowledge of NFP then the issue is really your mental illness. It is what is complicating things, not NFP itself, right? Is your illness under as much control as possible or are you still experimenting with treatments to find what works best for you? You never know what the future might bring. Your illness could improve drastically and you could find yourself praying for a child that you cannot have because you chose to sterilize yourself…who knows?

All I know is that using NFP for grave/serious/just reasons is not easy. It is a heavy cross to bear, but we have a responsibility to follow God’s laws of we believe in and love Him.

Perhaps some marital counselling to deal with the abstinence could be a first step before getting any drastic surgeries… there are many married couples that are forced into abstinence for many reasons. If the marriage itself is strong then it will be handled. If the marriage does not have a good foundation then forced abstinence will highlight any weaknesses.

malia**

 

[larry85704]

I’ll probably get a nasty note from an administrator, but what the heck.

Morality is complex. You really need to talk to a priest about birth control, not the nice folks on this forum. If you have 5 kids you have done the open to life bit. I’d say the only ones qualified to criticize you are the ones with 6 kids. Bet there isn’t many of those folks on this forum, they probably don’t have time. The Church respects your commitment to NFP and your having children.

NFP is a very emotional issue. I’d really urge you to talk to a priest about anything to do with reproduction. NFP is nowhere near as effective as it is claimed to be if you happen to be one of those couples that get pregnant by being in the same room with each other too much. I mean you are sure you’d get pregnant my kissing. (I am trying to make a joke).

NFP is not stressed by priests and Bishops because they know that almost nobody uses it. They are smart enough to talk about stuff where they might actually have a chance to make a difference. If you study the Bible, Tradition and the Catechism you will understand how complex this issue is. NFP is a method of family planning that can be accepted by few couples. For those couples that can do it the rewards are great. Unfortunately, there are many couples that cannot use it, or will not use it. Do not feel like you are a failure as a Catholic if you cannot use it. Talk to a priest.

 

[hasikelee]

I have studied NFP extensively over the past few months, and I have had very good instructors in it. I know NFP well. I know how my body works, despite the fact that I have reproductive problems. But NFP is not 100% perfect. There is room for error, regardless of how well you use it. I don’t want to take that chance. I have also studied hysterectomies, and I know there are risks associated with that also. But I also know that if I would get pregnant, there is a very good chance that my child would be born with the same mental illness that I suffer from. I would rather risk the surgery and the after-effects of a hysterectomy than risk having to raise a child in my mental state. A child’s life is nothing to gamble with–and that is exactly what I would be doing if I used NFP. And, regardless of how well I know my body and NFP, there are days where I can barely function–and that includes charting my body symptoms. If I have gaps missing on my chart during each cycle because I was not well that day, then doesn’t that give me more room for error, therefore increasing my chances of getting pregnant??

If you are not monitoring your body daily then there can be greater room for error in detecting times of fertility and ovulation.

I guess the issue you are really grappling over isn’t your struggle with a mental illness, nor is it your struggle with an NFP method, but rather the idea that you want sexual intercourse without a chance of conception.

That is something that anyone can post their opinion on, but you are the only one who can decide. If you decide that sexual intercourse is a higher priority than following the concept of a Catholic/sacramental marriage, then a hysterectomy, although a grave medical procedure, is a viable option for obtaining free use of the reproductive organs without a chance for conception.

If you decide against a hysterectomy, any form or method from artificially preventing conception to NFP methods to abortion are not going to prevent conception 100%. Complete abstinence from sexual intercourse is the only 100% guarantee that you won’t conceive.

I am not a medical professional, but I would definitely advise learning more about the illness you have and the treatments available to treat or manage it. I’m sure that’s a really old line for you to hear.

Also, have you researched the genetic aspect of your illness to find out the occurrence rates in offspring? E.g. is your fear one that bothers you but is unfounded, or is there a strong correlative link with almost definite genetic continuation of the disease?

Was this mental illness present before and during your courtship and wedding? Was your spouse aware of it at the time of the wedding?

 

[hasikelee]

I’ll probably get a nasty note from an administrator, but what the heck.

Morality is complex. You really need to talk to a priest about birth control, not the nice folks on this forum. If you have 5 kids you have done the open to life bit. I’d say the only ones qualified to criticize you are the ones with 6 kids. Bet there isn’t many of those folks on this forum, they probably don’t have time. The Church respects your commitment to NFP and your having children.

Part of being Catholic is following all of the teachings of Christ’s church. There is a teaching of the Catholic Church and it tells all Catholics they may not utilize artificial forms of contraceptives, including oral, patches, barriers, sponges, etc.

Even if a Catholic priest were to advise a layperson to use birthcontrol for the purpose of preventing conception, the layperson would not be able to do so. No person can change the teachings of the Church, not even the pope.

It is always recommended that one talk to their parish priest or a priest with which they have a relationship. Personal information and context that is unavailable to the professionals and priests on this board can be shared more confidently with a priest in person.
This will allow the priest to better help the person seeking advise.

 

[geraldffff]

hmmm

 

[marymol]

Reading through many of these posts , it is easy to empathise with the fustration and fears of many , as well as to be gladdened by the courage in sharing personal experiences of joy / repentance for right or wrong choices of others .

Hopefully , many will see this whole area as not just of fertility and children but of far deeper issues ; while it is true that The Church can do more in this area to offfer support and encouragement, another way to look at it could be the whole spiritual nourishement The Church provides for each and how All of it is necessary , to embrace and even enjoy the wisdom in the truth in this area as well as all others that The Church teaches.

One area of some personal neglect and much help in this area could be scriptures - esp. that little gem , in O.T.- the Book of Song of Songs .

Fertile days could be( may be should be) - called festival days - even when physically abstaining … so that the focus would be more on the positive , such as when both couples can look forward to all the sweet talk through The Word and the fulness and healing and bonding that it alone can bring at a heart level…and set the tone for good healthy relationship for all times .

We, as the priesthood of The Lord , are we not to use the power of words , esp. in The Word ( as we witness being done at every Holy Mass ) to live inThe Kingdom , of His Spirit and joy …and grow in trust - that all things work well for those who love Him …and do His will , thus to be truly trusting in our Father …

May we be blessed , to give thanks , in all circumstances !

 

[1234]

This is what family planning is like for a non-Catholic.

My husband and I are both ardent environmentalists. I strongly believe that a couple should have no more than two children, so that we reproduce ourselves in an overpopulated (and very expensive) world but don’t add to the population.

We waited two years after our wedding before we conceived, so that our marriage was solid. I used a diaphragm with spermicidal jelly. I stopped using it and got pregnant and had a daughter, then resumed the diaphragm and jelly. Three and a half years later we had our second daughter. I waited until #2 was 3-4 years old, and then I had an outpatient tubal ligation, which was very easy. ***I ***had the sterilization, as I knew that even if I lost my husband and children, I would not want to have any more children, whereas my husband would want another family if he lost us. I was 43 at that time.

Our children grew up close with minimal competition. We were able to pay for their education and vacations, paying their own way completely without financial aid, so that the money could go to other students. They are both now grown and finishing up their graduate school education, both professionals, one married. Both girls are very close to us and to each other.

THAT is what raising a family is like with access to ‘artificial’ contraception and sterilization. No unplanned pregnancies. NO three children in three years. No moving in with relatives or wondering how you’re going to feel and clothe them, let alone pay for college. No worrying after each act. No learning all those complicated ‘methods’.

It is clear that the vast majority of dioceses in the US and Europe have walked away from Humanae Vitae and are trying to move on from what is probably the biggest mistake the RCC has ever made, and there have been some lulus. That decree has torn the RCC apart.

 

[newbetx]

This is what family planning is like for a non-Catholic.

My husband and I are both ardent environmentalists. I strongly believe that a couple should have no more than two children, so that we reproduce ourselves in an overpopulated (and very expensive) world but don’t add to the population.

We waited two years after our wedding before we conceived, so that our marriage was solid. I used a diaphragm with spermicidal jelly. I stopped using it and got pregnant and had a daughter, then resumed the diaphragm and jelly. Three and a half years later we had our second daughter. I waited until #2 was 3-4 years old, and then I had an outpatient tubal ligation, which was very easy. ***I ***had the sterilization, as I knew that even if I lost my husband and children, I would not want to have any more children, whereas my husband would want another family if he lost us. I was 43 at that time.

Our children grew up close with minimal competition. We were able to pay for their education and vacations, paying their own way completely without financial aid, so that the money could go to other students. They are both now grown and finishing up their graduate school education, both professionals, one married. Both girls are very close to us and to each other.

THAT is what raising a family is like with access to ‘artificial’ contraception and sterilization. No unplanned pregnancies. NO three children in three years. No moving in with relatives or wondering how you’re going to feel and clothe them, let alone pay for college. No worrying after each act. No learning all those complicated ‘methods’.

It is clear that the vast majority of dioceses in the US and Europe have walked away from Humanae Vitae and are trying to move on from what is probably the biggest mistake the RCC has ever made, and there have been some lulus. That decree has torn the RCC apart.

I find it ironic that your signature says “I don’t make the rules” when in fact this post tells a very different story.

I won’t deny you a thing in your story. And I know exactly how you feel. I, too, felt that way, until the complications of ABC darn near killed my marriage. Really, TOB and it’s NFP implications really does make sense when taken as a package. Is life more difficult? yes. Are you more in control? No. It’s apparent that this concept of life is not appealing to many. That does not mean it’s wrong. Just not appealing.

There is a lot of problems with a world on ABC, too. They are different problems, but still problems. And like with NFP, those specific issues aren’t always an impact on a given couple. Life is full of tradeoffs.

 

[Mirror_Mirror]

This is what family planning is like for a non-Catholic.

My husband and I are both ardent environmentalists. I strongly believe that a couple should have no more than two children, so that we reproduce ourselves in an overpopulated (and very expensive) world but don’t add to the population.

We waited two years after our wedding before we conceived, so that our marriage was solid. I used a diaphragm with spermicidal jelly. I stopped using it and got pregnant and had a daughter, then resumed the diaphragm and jelly. Three and a half years later we had our second daughter. I waited until #2 was 3-4 years old, and then I had an outpatient tubal ligation, which was very easy. ***I ***had the sterilization, as I knew that even if I lost my husband and children, I would not want to have any more children, whereas my husband would want another family if he lost us. I was 43 at that time.

Our children grew up close with minimal competition. We were able to pay for their education and vacations, paying their own way completely without financial aid, so that the money could go to other students. They are both now grown and finishing up their graduate school education, both professionals, one married. Both girls are very close to us and to each other.

THAT is what raising a family is like with access to ‘artificial’ contraception and sterilization. No unplanned pregnancies. NO three children in three years. No moving in with relatives or wondering how you’re going to feel and clothe them, let alone pay for college. No worrying after each act. No learning all those complicated ‘methods’.

It is clear that the vast majority of dioceses in the US and Europe have walked away from Humanae Vitae and are trying to move on from what is probably the biggest mistake the RCC has ever made, and there have been some lulus. That decree has torn the RCC apart.

I honestly cannot believe that I have just read this…what is this Pleasantville?

The only thing that comes to mind is “are you serious?”

Actually, no nevermind, what I would humbly ask is that you and I talk within the private message format within CAF and that way I can provide you with my address. I would like you to come to my house, look my 2 most recent children in the eyes and tell them that they do not belong in our family as we should have only had 2 children instead of the 4 that we currently have. Wow you make me want to have 10+ children.

Let me tell you that you have no idea what it is like to raise a family with no artificial contraception. NONE! We do it and, thank you very much, we do a great job at it. Hmmm, and something else to think about as you sip you Chai Latte with your pinky so high in the air, my wife does not even work :bigyikes: The horror! How can a family of 6 make it these days with only one income? How is it possible? Wanna talk?

You post was very arrogant and very self-centered and it is painfully obvious that you are not Catholic and you (like so many others) have absolutely NO understanding of your marriage vows and your dedication to you marriage, your husband and your God. You don’t know what it is like to give everything for your children. And no that does not mean the best clothes, the newest clother, the brand new shoes, the new video game system or gadget. It does not mean getting them everything that they ask for or that they want.

Your post is very disturbing, but it is sad but true in the world that we live in. “You don’t make the rules” is very (very) relevant in what you have posted. You don’t make the rules, God does. God makes the rules about life, about money, about sex, about death, about hmmmm…everything.

It is this contraceptive…only 2.5 children per household…mentality that is what is slowly becoming a detriment to society. It is this “free love” and “I got to be me” mindset that has this society as we know it in a tail spin that we will have a hard time getting out of any time in the near future.

I am trying my best not to be inconsiderate or disrespectful to you and you lifestyle, but I have seen this card played so many times before. Heck, I even have a brother and his wife that sound so much like you. You post is not that original. Sad to say that there are many out there that feel that this is what “works for them” and it is so self centered it drives me up a wall.

I still cannot believe that this mindset is so prevalent in this day and age. What is it about a Catholic forum that prompted you to post something that is so anti-Catholic? Are you here to stir up trouble? Do you not understand what the Church teaches in this regards? Oh, wait. That is it. I have it now. You have no formal understanding of the Church’s teachings about sexuality. Ah ha. Nevermind. We can stop here. Why? Because you have taken something that you clearly do not understand and tried to make this an “issue” that is up for debate and it is not. Take time to research what the Church teaches about this and why, once you have then this discussion can proceed, until that point, then there is nothing more to say.

 

[luvmykids]

It is clear that the vast majority of dioceses in the US and Europe have walked away from Humanae Vitae and are trying to move on from what is probably the biggest mistake the RCC has ever made, and there have been some lulus. That decree has torn the RCC apart.

Why do people think this part of Catholicism began with Humanae Vitae? Birth control was ok before that? I don’t think so. Birth control was never ok. Humanae Vitae just helped provide an understanding of this teaching of the sin of contraception, and all it’s lies and consequences.

I grew up in a household with just a sister and we barely even talk, lots of fighting and we are just not much alike at all. I dreamed of other sisters and brothers, but was never given the opportunity to experience that. I feel very lonely at times, because my parents were contraception users and my mother “got fixed” at a very young age.

 

[GFarmer]

I honestly cannot believe that I have just read this…what is this Pleasantville?

The only thing that comes to mind is “are you serious?”

You might be surprised at who read these forums and why.

In my case it is because even though I am a “lapsed Catholic” my wife is the cafeteria variety who sends our children to CCD & wants them to participate in the local parish life. We live in a rural area where we are high profile people due to our business and job.
My parents are also here and very traditional Catholics.

I have many issues with the church not just teaching’s about sex & sexuality. In many ways be easier for me to be a cafeteria Catholic, but I chose to stand my ground and not just show-up occasionally at church and march down for communion like I have been at church every Sunday for the past 47 years and a regular at confession. I haven’t been a regular at mass for 10 years and to confession in almost 25.

I read these forums because I believe to take a position for and or against something means that you have taken time to understand the other view point.

We did try NFP when we were first married and I will readily admit that we did not give it a fighting chance. I think we were most surprised about how hard it was for the woman, even though we were both in our mid 20’s and did not have intercourse until our wedding day. In our case we moved to FAM with barrier methods until that resulted in a pregnancy that mis-carried. We would have readily accepted that child had it not been lost and would be proud parents of four instead of three. However, we also were firm in our resolve to wait due to financial and location reasons and after that used the pill & vasectomy. In all the years that we have been married we always knew that whatever method of BC we used that none were foolproof. We would always accepted any additional children as gifts. I just had a conversation with my 16 year old son about this last weekend. I explained to him why he needs to delay sex until he is ready for children & married. He asked about the pill…wasn’t it almost 100%? I said sure among mature adults who take it every day and who’s bodies aren’t changing. I told him to Google the results among teenage girls and the reason that they are having abortions. I asked him to consider the life changing impact of children at his age. I explained to him how hard it is to stop once you started. I think it made an impact.

I have personally been offended by those in the NFP movement who use mind poison against those who use ABC. Things like comparing divorce rates, or it puts a false note into the relationship. The very small community of folks who use NFP are also very religious and therefore unlikely to divorce. It’s not the ABC that causes the divorce it’s underlying selfishness of the individual that causes the divorce.

I am personally happy with what we have and am happy for those of you who choose differently due to your faith, your belief or you wishes.

I do question though, how you do it? Go to church every Sunday with your orthodox beliefs and watch the cafeteria’s walk down the isle. When I go I have enough respect for your belief and my personal integrity to sit it out!

 

[mommamia]

This thread brought up a question for me.

After dd #3 I had some bleeding issues that led to a hysterectomy, right there in a split second choice. And I do not regret it for a minute, I feel like my prayers were answered. I am soooo happy not to have to deal with NFP, or the chance of another child. I am just not the motherly type. I barely have the patience for the kids I have. Dh is totally the nuturing one in our family.

SO a Catholic friend and I were talking about this, and she says the way I feel is as bad as if I had chosen to be sterilized. And the fact that I am totally not open to more babies-ie not looking or wanting a miracle-that dh and I should be celibate. I told her I would have probably started using some sort of barrier method anyway, so she thinks I am in a state of mortal sin.

I truly disagree with the church on this one. Why drive people to poverty or depression? Why put such strain on a marriage that the one act that is supposed to bring us closer can drive a wedge? I just think it is pointless. After all, NFP is IMO not much different from a non arbortive type of BC. Both ways you are trying to prevent a pregnancy.

 

[Mirror_Mirror]

I do question though, how you do it? Go to church every Sunday with your orthodox beliefs and watch the cafeteria’s walk down the isle. When I go I have enough respect for your belief and my personal integrity to sit it out!

The mass is about my relationship with God and nothing else. I do not have to answer for Joe Smith, he answers for himself. If I sat there at mass and wondered why someone was going to communion and if they were in a state of grace or not, I would get nothing out of mass.

In reading your post, it still does not change what the Church’s stance is on ABC, it is still against the Church’s teachings and NFP is accepted. We, as Catholics, need to call a sin a sin and be honest about it. ABC is a sin.

 

[1234]

I honestly cannot believe that I have just read this…what is this Pleasantville?

The only thing that comes to mind is “are you serious?”

Actually, no nevermind, what I would humbly ask is that you and I talk within the private message format within CAF and that way I can provide you with my address. I would like you to come to my house, look my 2 most recent children in the eyes and tell them that they do not belong in our family as we should have only had 2 children instead of the 4 that we currently have. Wow you make me want to have 10+ children.

Let me tell you that you have no idea what it is like to raise a family with no artificial contraception. NONE! We do it and, thank you very much, we do a great job at it. Hmmm, and something else to think about as you sip you Chai Latte with your pinky so high in the air, my wife does not even work :bigyikes: The horror! How can a family of 6 make it these days with only one income? How is it possible? Wanna talk?

You post was very arrogant and very self-centered and it is painfully obvious that you are not Catholic and you (like so many others) have absolutely NO understanding of your marriage vows and your dedication to you marriage, your husband and your God. You don’t know what it is like to give everything for your children. And no that does not mean the best clothes, the newest clother, the brand new shoes, the new video game system or gadget. It does not mean getting them everything that they ask for or that they want.

Your post is very disturbing, but it is sad but true in the world that we live in. “You don’t make the rules” is very (very) relevant in what you have posted. You don’t make the rules, God does. God makes the rules about life, about money, about sex, about death, about hmmmm…everything.

It is this contraceptive…only 2.5 children per household…mentality that is what is slowly becoming a detriment to society. It is this “free love” and “I got to be me” mindset that has this society as we know it in a tail spin that we will have a hard time getting out of any time in the near future.

I am trying my best not to be inconsiderate or disrespectful to you and you lifestyle, but I have seen this card played so many times before. Heck, I even have a brother and his wife that sound so much like you. You post is not that original. Sad to say that there are many out there that feel that this is what “works for them” and it is so self centered it drives me up a wall.

I still cannot believe that this mindset is so prevalent in this day and age. What is it about a Catholic forum that prompted you to post something that is so anti-Catholic? Are you here to stir up trouble? Do you not understand what the Church teaches in this regards? Oh, wait. That is it. I have it now. You have no formal understanding of the Church’s teachings about sexuality. Ah ha. Nevermind. We can stop here. Why? Because you have taken something that you clearly do not understand and tried to make this an “issue” that is up for debate and it is not. Take time to research what the Church teaches about this and why, once you have then this discussion can proceed, until that point, then there is nothing more to say.

Down, boy. Quit foaming at the mouth.

You assume many things. You assume that I’m rich,that I buy the latest brands, clothes, gadgets, drink chai lattes (?), all because I said that we paid for our children’s college educations.

Sorry, bud. No chai lattes in our house–whatever that means.

I posted on a thread entitled Miserable with NFP.The posters apparently are all ** Catholic **and they have told their sad stories on a long thread, which has obviously echoed many people’s experiences with NFP. If you are unhappy because they don’t tow the party line, YELL at them, not me!

I am saying that for non-Catholics, contraception is not a problem. Spacing is not a problem. Planning for your kids’ future and their education is much less of a problem. Life is simpler, easier and happier. “Free love” and “I got to be me” has nothing to do with it. Building a happy stable marriage to support a manageable family size has everything to do with it.

Who is self-centered? We were able to give our money away, support other students and worthy causes, do volunteer work.

I don’t hear about trad Catholics adopting. If they believe in the virtues of large families, why not adopt a few instead of having them?

I think that those Catholics who posted after me and after your tirade said it all.

 

[graceandglory]

My wife and I have been MISERABLE with it for the last five years. Besides the fact that there are only about ten days of safe “green light” intercourse allowed in each month, it isn’t as reliable for us as it has been touted. .

Maybe it’s time for you to be open to life.
This might be God trying to get your attention.
God’ plan might be for a specific little person to be born, and has a specific mission for this little person.

Is it possible that you are on your own timing, and not on God’s?

 

[graceandglory]

I hear all the time that “if done properly,” NFP is 99% effective, etc. and invariably when someone says that NFP didn’t work for them, the first thing I see is everyone swoop down and condemn them for being uncharitable, not open to life and that “you must not have done NFP properly.” My wife and I have found NFP to be emotionally isolating, miserable, ineffective, and about as unromantic as heck.

Contraception: Why Not?
catholiceducation.org/articles/sexuality/se0002.html

 

[catherineajt]

.

I don’t hear about trad Catholics adopting. If they believe in the virtues of large families, why not adopt a few instead of having them?

I think that those Catholics who posted after me and after your tirade said it all.

I know at least two traditional Catholic families who have adopted some or ALL of their children. Just because you don’t hear about it, doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen.

 

[Mary_Gail_36]

Hi Mommamia,

So you know, and so you have peace, a hysterectomy is not a sin if done for medical reasons. Your Catholic friend is not correct.

You don’t need to be celibate, you are now sterile, the same as if you had gone through menopause.

Also, I think it’s understandable to feel overwhelmed as a mother to not have patience. I am not the most patient person either. I try and I ask for patience.

Being tempted to use contraception, is not a sin either. We all get tempted.

I don’t think your Catholic friend is right at all.