Missing an HDO for a funeral

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imstyron

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Good morning. This is my first time participating in this site, even though I’ve lurked here for years. Tomorrow is an HDO, All Saints Day, and I’d been planning on going, well, all year. But we just found out that a family friend died, and her funeral is on All Saints Day. The viewing and funeral are from 5-7, but the location is 30 minutes away, and our local parish Masses are at 7. I’m worried that we might miss Mass, even if we leave the funeral early.

And before anyone suggests trying to go to an earlier Mass during the day, I cannot make it due to transportation issues. We are a one car household, and my fiancé takes it to work since his work is about 35 minutes away. There is no public transportation in my town, and no one else to take me.

This was all so sudden, and this is our only chance to say goodbye. Is it a mortal sin to miss Mass in this situation?
 
imstyron said:
Is it a mortal sin to miss Mass in this situation?
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I wouldn’t say so at all.
You need to be there for the family of your friend - After all, that’s what Jesus did for Mary and Martha after the death of Lazarus.

I’m assuming the funeral is non-Catholic?
 
Yes, they are Protestant. We attended the funeral of the departed lady’s husband a couple of years ago, and it’s more along the lines of a slideshow, and people talking about the departed family member. Maybe a little scripture, but nothing that is not in line with Catholic doctrine. I feel extremely anxious and distressed over this, because I feel like I can’t do both in the time allotted.
 
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imstyron said:
I feel extremely anxious and distressed over this, because I feel like I can’t do both in the time allotted.
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I get what you’re saying, but… Can you imagine Christ saying ‘Because you missed Mass (to go to a friend’s funeral, but that doesen’t matter) You’re going to Hell?’

From the lips of an all-loving God?

No. Be at peace.
 
Any masses at the location of the funeral?

This is one of the things sad about us Catholics. We get all upset and disturbed about the possibility of eternal Hell for things like this. HDO s are for us, not us for them. I think it was a big mistake for the Church to make them “obligations”. It distorts their meaning and purpose. Does God want us going out of obligation and pain of punishment or out of love? And sometimes when things came up that prevent us I think The Good Lord understands completely.
 
Consider all your possibilities for getting to Mass, then make your decision.

Check masstimes.org to see if there is a Mass you could attend this evening in your area. You can also check to see if there are Masses available in the location where you will be attending the funeral. Consider using Uber as an alternative for transportation. If none of those options work, then I would feel comfortable attending the funeral.
 
Make your best effort. If you can’t go, you can’t go. We’re not obliged to do the impossible.

I’m sorry for your loss. Prayers ascending for your friend.

-Fr ACEGC
 
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I contacted the Diocese, and found out that the Catholic Church on the local big university’s campus, has Mass at 7:30 tomorrow evening, so we’re going there. It does make me feel better knowing that if I absolutely had to miss it, that it wouldn’t be a mortal sin. Thank you everyone!
 
there is no vigil Mass today? no member of the church who could give you a ride?
 
Don’t forget about anticipated masses. Is there a mass somewhere in the area this evening?
 
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The Masses today, are offered at a time when my fiancé won’t yet be back from work, so those aren’t an option. However, I found a Church closer to the funeral, that we can make it to.
 
imstyron said:
We are a one car household, and my fiancé takes it to work since his work is about 35 minutes away. There is no public transportation in my town, and no one else to take me.
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Maybe I’ve misunderstood, but if you are living with your fiancé and what that usually implies, that is an area of grave concern. Unless there is something that makes your circumstances different, you are not supposed to live as though married when you are not.
 
Not that it’s anyone else’s business, but we were already living together before either of us started participating in Catholicism. Our being together is what brought us back to the Church and to God. We’ve already talked to our local priest, and he said to try our very best to avoid temptation. He asked if my moving out would cause undue hardship on me, and quite frankly, it would. I have medical conditions which render it impossible to hold down a job right now, so I would not be able to afford to support myself and my two children. So we still live together. We no longer have sex, but we still live together. So thanks for your concern.
 
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