Missing Mass question

  • Thread starter Thread starter Mitzzi
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
M

Mitzzi

Guest
I just joined the church this Easter. I have not told my folks. My father is a minister in a protestant denomination. My kids, husband and I will be visiting them over the weekend. I don’t see how we can leave them to attend Mass. I feel that it would hurt them and they would be very upset, probably angry. They do know that we attend a Catholic church in our town, but they don’t really like that. My question is…am I sinning if my family does not find Mass in their town and attend? Weekends are the only time we can visit them and have not done that since joining the church.
 
Hello and welcome Home Mitzzi!

Well, if you attend their services it will not fufill your Sunday Obligation.

Why not slip out on on Saturday and attend Mass, (my parish its at 5:00 on Saturday) and go to their services on Sunday. That way everyone is happy. 🙂
 
You need to discuss this with your pastor.

You have an obligation to attend Mass unless you have a serious reason-- such as illness.

Avoiding telling your parents is not a good reason to miss Mass, in my opinion.

None of my dad’s side of the family is Catholic. I always attend Mass when I visit them. It’s *one *hour.

You need to be honest with your family *and *honor your obligation to God.
 
I would prefer to not reference Mass attendance in terms of obligation, as I think that the issue is much wider than simply that.

However, since you ask the question, the answer is that you have a moral obligation to attend Mass when not prevented by circumstances (effectively) out of your control.

That means, in essence, for example, if you are traveling and literally could not attend Mass on Sunday (or the previous evening, Saturday), then you do not have to attend. That extends to being too sick (no obligation) or attending to someone else who is sick and needs your attendance (spouse, child, etc. where you cannot juggle a schedule to attend). It includes camping trips where there is no Mass (one normally seeks permission in this case and it is normally granted).

It does not include not attending because it would offend someone. This is hard, and I can understand that they may not be happy that you have converted, but whether or not you tell them, it would seem from your post that your husband is Catholic and has been for some time (I am reading between the lines) and he has the obligation, and you may be avoiding the full truth of your conversion by telling him that you all attend as a family and will be going with the family.

Frankly, your parents if they do not already know (and it is amazing what parents learn) should be told. You are an adult. There is no doubt that they may be hurt by this, but the truth is the truth. Why not tell them, and while you are at it, make arrangements to go to Mass and attend you father’s service? I am assuming, of course that he is in a Christian denomenation (as opposed to, say, LDS, JW or 7th Day Adventists); but even if he is of those denomenations, it would be certainly a sign of filial love to attend.

That is, as long as you are sure he will not berate you in front of the congregation (stranger things have been known to happen).

The best policy is honesty. I would hope that you would have the occasion to share with him what you have found in the Catholic Church. Getting into a debate doesn’t convert much of anyone, and that is best not a path to tread. But honesty certainly is to be commended.
 
otjm said:
if you are traveling and literally could not attend Mass on Sunday (or the previous evening, Saturday), then you do not have to attend
Click to expand...
According to some people on this forum you are in mortal sin if you place yourself in a position to be forced to miss Sunday Mass.

Ridiculous, aren’t they?

I feel sorry for those people, they really need help.
 
Hammer2 said:
According to some people on this forum you are in mortal sin if you place yourself in a position to be forced to miss Sunday Mass.

Ridiculous, aren’t they?

I feel sorry for those people, they really need help.
Click to expand...
How do you place yourself in a position to be forced?:confused:
That is not forced then is it?

🤷
 
Hammer2 said:
According to some people on this forum you are in mortal sin if you place yourself in a position to be forced to miss Sunday Mass.

Ridiculous, aren’t they?

I feel sorry for those people, they really need help.
Click to expand...
Hi Hammer, welcome to the forum.
So, what do you know the Church say about missing Mass for different reasons? Could you help find the documents?

Mitzzi, talk to the Pastor and see what he says. Someone mentioned about attending on Saturday, that sounds a good idea to me.
 
Hammer2 said:
According to some people on this forum you are in mortal sin if you place yourself in a position to be forced to miss Sunday Mass.

Ridiculous, aren’t they?

I feel sorry for those people, they really need help.
Click to expand...
It’s inevitable that everyone is going to miss Mass occasionally - whether you’re ill, the car won’t start, you’re travelling or working or what have you.

Doesn’t mean you can’t travel or work on a Sunday - but remember there’s a lot of merit in giving up something you’d enjoy (like travelling for pleasure) for the sake of doing something that is pleasing to God (like attending Mass).

For some it’s not even a matter of giving up anything - some people actually do love God that much that they get more joy out of being in His house and at His supper than anything else.

That’s the attitude King David had - " I rejoiced when I heard them say ‘Let us go to God’s house’ " and it’s an admirable sentiment!
 
Mitzzi said:
I just joined the church this Easter. I have not told my folks. My father is a minister in a protestant denomination. My kids, husband and I will be visiting them over the weekend. I don’t see how we can leave them to attend Mass. I feel that it would hurt them and they would be very upset, probably angry. They do know that we attend a Catholic church in our town, but they don’t really like that. My question is…am I sinning if my family does not find Mass in their town and attend? Weekends are the only time we can visit them and have not done that since joining the church.
Click to expand...
Why would your parents be so upset? That is their problem, not yours. You are your own family now (leave and cleave, remember?).

My wife is also a PK, and my in-laws (who used to be vehemently anti-Catholic) even came to our kids’ Baptism. There is a boundary issue there. You and your family decide what is good for you and your family, end of story. Your parents will get used to it. Your protestant father has no right to coerce you to stay in his denomination, and is practically forcing you to deceive them. You are an adult now. Be one.

Just stand strong and say," We are Catholic now."
 
mitzi - welcome to the Church and to CAF

you have a few options
  1. find a vigil mass on Saturday
  2. find a late evening mass on Sunday in your parish or near it - that way you could visit all weekend and leave early enough on Sunday to get to that evening mass.
  3. You could go to Mass as normal on Sunday
You said your family knows you attend mass but doesn’t really like it. This does not absolve you of your obligation for you and your family to attend. Pray on it, pick the choice that best serves your families, but do attend.

I’m not sure where new hammer is coming from - but the obligation is there - only for illness and care of those who are ill does the dispensation automatically apply.

Good luck and God Bless
 
Looks like this is where the rubber meets the road. You cannot miss Mass in order to avoid telling your Parents. What is that saying about your love of Christ and his church? Tell them with Love . What’s going to hurt more your conversion or your hiding it ?
 
Thanks to everyone that took the time to reply. I genuinely appreciate each answer. I was brought up that family comes first before anything. Even church. So, like much of my RCIA, I am continually learning and growing in the Faith. So thank you for taking time to “teach” me.
 
Mitzzi, I sympathize with your situation. My prayers for you and your family. I’m of the opinion that God [and his worship] should come first, above family concerns, but I understand that’s a hard line to accept and I fully recognize that I’m speaking as someone not in your situation. I pray that if I ever had to make that type of decision, I would do the right thing, but we are all fallible.

If I may, your question reminded me of this passage from St. Matthew (Mt 10:34-38 (RSV)):
“Do not think that I have come to bring peace on earth; I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; and a man’s foes will be those of his own household. He who loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; and he who loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; and he who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me.”

In Jesu et Maria,
mp
 
Thank you Mart(name removed by moderator)orres! That same scripture came to mind and I was going to look that up tonight, so that is definitely confirmation.
 
Hammer2 said:
According to some people on this forum you are in mortal sin if you place yourself in a position to be forced to miss Sunday Mass.

Ridiculous, aren’t they?

I feel sorry for those people, they really need help.
Click to expand...
I am sitting here having a hard time trying to understand what you post means. Is it that those that follow the teachings of the Catholic church are “ridiculous?” Is it that there is a way to “place yourself in a position to be forced to miss Sunday Mass?”

Who is it exactly that needs help? Those who miss mass or those on CAF that say that it is a mortal sin to miss mass on Sunday? You have heard of “keep holy the Sabbath day” correct? This was a command from God. Not a suggestion, a command.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top