Missing Mass

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On Christmas Day I planned to take my 83 year old mother to Mass at 9 AM. Early that morning she called me saying that she thought she might be having a stroke. She did not want to call 911 so I rushed over to her house and took her to the ER. After numerous tests it was determined that she did not have a stroke and was discharged for follow up with another doctor. By the time I got her home and got home myself it was about 11:45 AM, just enough time to rush to the last Mass of the day at 12:00 PM. The problem was that we (mom and I) were due at my sister-in-law’s with my wife for Christmas dinner at 1:00 PM. It was to be a large dinner for about 15 people and we did not want to be late. So I chose to take mom to dinner and not go to Mass since we would have gone had we not been in the hospital most of the morning and didn’t want to hold up dinner for everyone. I do not think I sinned by missing Mass in this case but would like some other opinions. Over the years I had the occasion to miss Mass on Sunday when traveling to remote locations where Mass was not accessible. So if there’s no way to get there then it must not be a sin. Right?
 
It is hard to say because you were actually trying to make it to mass and not wanting to purposely miss it, but in fact you did have a chance and instead placed the dinner and punctuality over God. I think it would have been the right thing to do to tell mom that you and her could go to mass at noon since you had not been able to go even though it would make you late to the dinner. That said, I do not think you committed a mortal sin because you did intend to make it to mass- not skip it like others do on purpose; so I guess I would say more a venial sin at this point, but this is best to bring up with apologetics page or a priest.
 
that’s a tough one…i know it’s no sin to miss mass when a family member is in need of your help for health reasons, and i know if you can’t get to mass for reasons of distance it is no sin either, but i can’t say i know it’s not a sin to miss mass because of being late for dinner with your family…my initial thoughts are, God should have come first, it was His birthday after all, and i know i would have chosen to go to mass, because it’s supposed to be a holy day of obligation, and we are obligated to go to mass if we can, but not dinner…

but i really can’t tell you…i would suggest just talking to your priest about it, maybe he will tell you that because you were unsure, then it is not a mortal sin, but even if that were the case, it certainly wouldn’t hurt to mention it in confession either, unless your priest explains otherwise, it’s always good to be on the safe side and just confess.
 
Why is going to Mass an obligatation? I do not understand how going to Church can be obligation, isn’t it because you want to worship God? Want being the key word.
 
Okay. Let me first say that I am in no way going to pass judgment on your specific actions. That is between you and God. What I CAN say is that I have been there, done that. I, too am a care-giver and struggle with the energy draining constant demands for immediate action that occur time and again. It’s easy to get caught up in these things and lose focus on what is really important.

I guess what I’m getting at is it boils down to the intent behind our missing mass. It absolutely couldn’t be helped when in the ER; but then by being concerned about inconveniencing ourselves or whomever it seems to me that we are making that “whomever” more important than God.

It’s nice though, that if it bugs you, then you can simply go to confession and make it alright. I would highly recommend doing this since it must bother you on some level or else you wouldn’t have posted this.
 
Speaking for myself, I’d miss lunch with the President or the Queen of England, or my family, rather than not go to Mass on Christmas if I could. After all, it’s not my family members’ birthdays I’m celebrating, nor the President’s or the Queen’s!

As for being an obligation - well, in an ideal world we would indeed be eager to go to Mass every single Sunday that God gives us. Just like we’d always want to eat our vegetables, do our homework and clean our rooms. Sometimes, like all parents, Holy Mother Church has to use a bit of tough love to get us to do what we should.

And in many ways it’s more meritorious - being self-denying - to go to Church even when you don’t feel like it. Didn’t Jesus say something about it being easy to love those who love you, to be nice to those who are nice to you, but that we’re actually called to go beyond that, and love those who hate us, be nice to those who are evil to us? I’m sure doing good things when you get warm fuzzies in return fits the bill too - we’re called to do what’s right even when it hurts and isn’t enjoyable (or rewarding) for us.

Couching it in terms of ‘obligation’ gives us the incentive to do that if necessary.
 
LilyM said:
Speaking for myself, I’d miss lunch with the President or the Queen of England, or my family, rather than not go to Mass on Christmas if I could. After all, it’s not my family members’ birthdays I’m celebrating, nor the President’s or the Queen’s!

As for being an obligation - well, in an ideal world we would indeed be eager to go to Mass every single Sunday that God gives us. Just like we’d always want to eat our vegetables, do our homework and clean our rooms. Sometimes, like all parents, Holy Mother Church has to use a bit of tough love to get us to do what we should.

And in many ways it’s more meritorious - being self-denying - to go to Church even when you don’t feel like it. Didn’t Jesus say something about it being easy to love those who love you, to be nice to those who are nice to you, but that we’re actually called to go beyond that, and love those who hate us, be nice to those who are evil to us? I’m sure doing good things when you get warm fuzzies in return fits the bill too - we’re called to do what’s right even when it hurts and isn’t enjoyable (or rewarding) for us.

Couching it in terms of ‘obligation’ gives us the incentive to do that if necessary.
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I think it is a good reminder though that we do have an Obligation to God to keep Holy the Sabbath; we owe Him praise and worship. Yes it would be ideal for us to all love going to mass and we should if we truly understand what mass is. Its like contrition; we owe it to God and it would be ideal if we felt it because we love God and do not want to offend him in any way, but for many of us it is also a matter of fear of hell. It is better to go to mass even if we don’t want to then miss mass.
 
tweetymom said:
Why is going to Mass an obligatation? I do not understand how going to Church can be obligation, isn’t it because you want to worship God? Want being the key word.
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first it is an obligation because the church has made it so, it is the first of 5 precepts of the church,
the reason the church has made it an obligation is because we are told to sanctify and keep holy the Lords day, and to give thanks for the benefits of the past week.
also in memory that Christ, who is offered on the alter for our sins, was born, rose from the dead, and sent down the Holy Ghost on a Sunday.

the reason you should want to go is because it is truly our Lords passion all over again, only now it is an unbloody sacrifice, but it is the perfect sacrifice, and the mass is the perfect form of worship to God, you cannot even hope to get better graces or mercies anywhere else, it is the most beneficial thing for your soul,
and because it is the perfect form of worship and the perfect way to keep holy the Lords day, the church has made it an obligation, which you should be thankful for, otherwise, imagine what trouble and torment people would go through each Sunday not knowing if they truly kept the Lords day holy, if they had even done enough, many people especially nowadays do not know how to keep the Lords day holy without mass, the Church has done us a great favor by making it this way, God has commanded us Himself to keep His day holy, so tell me, how else would you do that? and what can you say is more pleasing to God than the perfect sacrifice of His only son?

if you were present at Jesus’ passion 2000 some years ago, would you not want to stay with Him the whole time? would you not want to comfort Him or help Him? or would you want to stay in your home and not give any thought to it,
remember Jesus took on all of our sins, which He suffered for both physically and mentally, so by not wanting to go to church atleast on Sunday, not only are you saying “i don’t care what you have done for me” you are also adding to the sufferings of His passion by sinning against the commands of His church.
you can be rebellious towards the church by ignoring what you consider an unfair and unimportant command, but the church does not suffer from you not going even an inkling as much as Jesus does,
so if you don’t want to go to mass just because the church says to, atleast go because Jesus misses you, and loves you more then you can imagine.
 
EmeraldWings said:
first it is an obligation because the church has made it so, it is the first of 5 precepts of the church,
the reason the church has made it an obligation is because we are told to sanctify and keep holy the Lords day, and to give thanks for the benefits of the past week.
also in memory that Christ, who is offered on the alter for our sins, was born, rose from the dead, and sent down the Holy Ghost on a Sunday.

the reason you should want to go is because it is truly our Lords passion all over again, only now it is an unbloody sacrifice, but it is the perfect sacrifice, and the mass is the perfect form of worship to God, you cannot even hope to get better graces or mercies anywhere else, it is the most beneficial thing for your soul,
and because it is the perfect form of worship and the perfect way to keep holy the Lords day, the church has made it an obligation, which you should be thankful for, otherwise, imagine what trouble and torment people would go through each Sunday not knowing if they truly kept the Lords day holy, if they had even done enough, many people especially nowadays do not know how to keep the Lords day holy without mass, the Church has done us a great favor by making it this way, God has commanded us Himself to keep His day holy, so tell me, how else would you do that? and what can you say is more pleasing to God than the perfect sacrifice of His only son?

if you were present at Jesus’ passion 2000 some years ago, would you not want to stay with Him the whole time? would you not want to comfort Him or help Him? or would you want to stay in your home and not give any thought to it,
remember Jesus took on all of our sins, which He suffered for both physically and mentally, so by not wanting to go to church atleast on Sunday, not only are you saying “i don’t care what you have done for me” you are also adding to the sufferings of His passion by sinning against the commands of His church.
you can be rebellious towards the church by ignoring what you consider an unfair and unimportant command, but the church does not suffer from you not going even an inkling as much as Jesus does,
so if you don’t want to go to mass just because the church says to, atleast go because Jesus misses you, and loves you more then you can imagine.
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I do go to Church because I love God not because it is an obligation.
 
tweetymom said:
Why is going to Mass an obligatation? I do not understand how going to Church can be obligation, isn’t it because you want to worship God? Want being the key word.
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third commandment, keep holy the Lord’s day, and a law of the Church for Catholics, and Mass, no other way, is the method Christ ordained for us to worship him.

when something interferes with your best intentions to get to Mass, as OP experienced, you use your best prudential judgement, but if you have doubts as to a specific situation, you ask your priest.

it would be great if we kept all the commandments because we love God, not because of an obligation, or not because of fear of hell, but since we are humans and weakened by sin, He has given us laws and commandments to guide us.
 
tweetymom said:
Why is going to Mass an obligatation? I do not understand how going to Church can be obligation, isn’t it because you want to worship God? Want being the key word.
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I found this on another site…

The obligation is for Catholics to assist at (attend) Mass on all Sundays and Holy Days of Obligation of the Year. This is the “1st Precept of the Church.” The Catechism of the Catholic Church tells us that this is a “grave” obligation, which means that to fail in it deliberately, and without a proportionate serious or grave reason constitutes for that person a mortal sin.
It is always good to attend Mass on days other than Sundays, but only IN ADDITION TO Sundays and Holy Days of Obligation: to do so would make one a weekday Mass goer.
It is always implied that a Weekday Mass Goes attends weekday Mass IN ADDITION to (NOT intead of) the usual and regular Obligation of Sundays and Holy Days of Obligation.
 
tweetymom said:
I do go to Church because I love God not because it is an obligation.
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oh, well there ya go, you should have said that in the first place, that is the best reason to go, i don’t go because it is an obligation either,
but i suppose the church making it an obligation draws more people to church to benefit from the mass in ways they otherwise could not have and would suffer much more without.
plus everything else i said in my last post.
 
EmeraldWings said:
oh, well there ya go, you should have said that in the first place, that is the best reason to go, i don’t go because it is an obligation either,
but i suppose the church making it an obligation draws more people to church to benefit from the mass in ways they otherwise could not have and would suffer much more without.
plus everything else i said in my last post.
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See but i have seen more than I care to count only go to Church because it is an obligation so where is the worship God desires?
 
tweetymom said:
See but i have seen more than I care to count only go to Church because it is an obligation so where is the worship God desires?
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we don’t know why they come and what they feel and what is their relationship with God, but like all of us, they worship as they can, and bring themselves in obedience, which is the highest form of love for God–as Christ commanded just before he went to his death, if you love me you will keep my commands.
 
tweetymom said:
See but i have seen more than I care to count only go to Church because it is an obligation so where is the worship God desires?
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Worship is an act of the will as well as (sometimes) an emotion. It’s rather like love in that sense. If you behave in a loving way towards your spouse (cook him or her a special meal, give him or her a foot rub or what have you) then the love actually is there and the effort is appreciated even if (and perhaps especially if) your spouse is aware that it was a struggle for you on a particular occasion.

Same with attendance at Church - you’re giving God your time, your effort and your attention, and He appreciates that, you can be sure. He was the first to make religious observance a matter of obligation, after all - didn’t He command everyone to gather at Passover in the OT, and stipulate the celebration of all the other Holy days for the Israelites?
 
TruthSkr said:
On Christmas Day I planned to take my 83 year old mother to Mass at 9 AM. Early that morning she called me saying that she thought she might be having a stroke. She did not want to call 911 so I rushed over to her house and took her to the ER. After numerous tests it was determined that she did not have a stroke and was discharged for follow up with another doctor. By the time I got her home and got home myself it was about 11:45 AM, just enough time to rush to the last Mass of the day at 12:00 PM. The problem was that we (mom and I) were due at my sister-in-law’s with my wife for Christmas dinner at 1:00 PM. It was to be a large dinner for about 15 people and we did not want to be late. So I chose to take mom to dinner and not go to Mass since we would have gone had we not been in the hospital most of the morning and didn’t want to hold up dinner for everyone. I do not think I sinned by missing Mass in this case but would like some other opinions. Over the years I had the occasion to miss Mass on Sunday when traveling to remote locations where Mass was not accessible. So if there’s no way to get there then it must not be a sin. Right?
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In the strictest sense I would have to say that you sinned.
Yes there were mitigating circumstances and the reason you missed was a loving one in not wishing to put out others by being late for the dinner. So I cannot see it being a mortal sin.
The other side of this is that you could have called your sister-in-law and explained. I don’t know how late you might have been etc. so I can’t comment on specifics.

My adise is to go and confess this at the earliest opportunity. As in most any case where you “think” you may have sinned. it’s best to run it by your confessor.

Peace
James
 
I agree with most, talk to your priest about it. I myself would have been late to dinner a few minutes rather than missing mass. Not passing judgement here.

Tweety, it is an obligation for Catholics to go to mass on sundays and certain days of the year.
 
tweetymom said:
See but i have seen more than I care to count only go to Church because it is an obligation so where is the worship God desires?
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i go to mass because i want to be closer to God. i dont care thats an obligation…im actually happy that it is so i dont become lazy about going to church again. before i started the process of becoming catholic…i was lazy about going and my children were getting in that same habit…thank goodness they are still young enough for me to correct that. i want my girls to grow closer to God as well.
 
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