Missing Mass

[St_Francis]

we don’t know why they come and what they feel and what is their relationship with God, but like all of us, they worship as they can,

This is very important as I have learned (the hard way!!!) not to judge other people. Sure, maybe they are grumpy at Mass so seem to be there only out of obligation, but maybe there are other things making them grumpy and they are actually glad of the chance to go to Mass!

and bring themselves in obedience, which is the highest form of love for God–as Christ commanded just before he went to his death, if you love me you will keep my commands.

This is a very interesting aspect. It is actually *more *meritorious to do something under obedience when you don’t want to than it is to do something because you feel like it. I had a hard time grasping that concept at first, but what it boils down to is that when we feel like going to Mass, then it is easy, right? We are getting some “consolation” or good feeling out of it.

When we totally do not feel like going to Mass, but we do it anyway, we are truly showing our love because then we are doing it only to please God, as we are not getting pleasure out of it ourselves.

 

[TOP]

This teaching is probably the only Catholic teaching I have a problem with understanding. Perhaps it is subconscience denial as my dad was Baptist and never been to a mass or that my mother was unable to go to mass or didn’t quite make the extra effort before she died. But I have a problem accepting it is a “grave” offense. I often think of Jesus talking to the Samaritan woman of how worship will be in spirit and truth. Thanks.

 

[JRKH]

This teaching is probably the only Catholic teaching I have a problem with understanding. Perhaps it is subconscience denial as my dad was Baptist and never been to a mass or that my mother was unable to go to mass or didn’t quite make the extra effort before she died. But I have a problem accepting it is a “grave” offense. I often think of Jesus talking to the Samaritan woman of how worship will be in spirit and truth. Thanks.

I can understand this - particularly as the caveat is rarely mentioned in this.
It is a grave matter to miss mass without sufficient cause. That is without a really good reason.

I think that the Church views mass on Sunday as a grave matter because it speaks to where our heart is. Do we put God first and so want to make being with Him, and receiving Jesus, the first thing we do in our week? Or do we have other priorities that we put ahead of God.
There are many reasons why one cannot make mass that would mitigate it being a grave matter. I personally cannot go because of my wifes illness. I have discussed this with my priest and have been given a “dispensation”. However, on my own I make it a point to go to a noon mass on Monday (since my wife is at adult daycare).
The OP’s medical emergency is certainly another, though there is some concern which we feel should be addressed by their confessor.

In short it is important to realize that rules such as this always come with a proviso that must be considered.

Hope this helps to alleviate your question/concern a bit.

Peace
James

 

[Magdalena09]

So many times, parent-child relationships on earth mirror God and the relationship He has with His children.

Parents deserve respect and obedience from their children. Parents set rules for their children not because they want to be mean or keep their kids from having fun, but because they love them, want them to be safe, and know what is best. In fact, I would say parents who do not set rules for their children are not being the best parents they could be. And children do not have to be happy with the rules in order to love their parents. But they should obey the rules, because they love their parents.

In the same way, God deserves respect and obedience from His children. He has set rules for us because He loves us.

My parents used to “force” me to go to church when I was younger. When I got into my teenage years, I showed a bit of rebellion and told them I didn’t want to go. They stopped making me go, and I rarely went for years. I fell away from God. Had I kept going to church, maybe it would have been different. I’ll never know. But I do know that I will raise up my children to go to Church on Sundays, and it will not be an option, but an obligation.

 

[OraLabora]

Getting back on topic, I note the OP’s mother is 83. Surely she had a stressful day as it was, and skipping Mass to take her to Christmas dinner on time would have reduced her stress level considerably. I know when my mother was 83 (the age at which she died) she stressed very easily and it was hard on her.

Are we really so pharisaical that we put our Sunday obligation ahead of charity for the elderly???

Please!

 

[InspiritCarol]

Getting back on topic, I note the OP’s mother is 83. Surely she had a stressful day as it was, and skipping Mass to take her to Christmas dinner on time would have reduced her stress level considerably. I know when my mother was 83 (the age at which she died) she stressed very easily and it was hard on her.

Are we really so pharisaical that we put our Sunday obligation ahead of charity for the elderly???

Please!

All the 83 year old regularly attending Catholic women I have known would have found it more stressful to miss Christmas mass than to go to the dinner. The point is, we don’t know. Not even the OP knows. Really only God knows. That’s why confession is so wonderful; just share with the Priest your concerns and he’ll tell you how to make it right.

Why is going to Mass an obligatation? I do not understand how going to Church can be obligation, isn’t it because you want to worship God? Want being the key word.

Three words: HE IS WORTHY
Like you, tweetymom, I want to be at church. For me it must be mass.
It’s really not about us at all. We are “obligated” to go to mass because God commanded us. We’re all at different points in our walk with God and to judge others around us shows that we have a long way still to go. I do this too. It’s hard not to.
Think of it this way: Going to church is like going to the gym. Once we’re in great physical shape, going to the gym is not only easy but brings us joy and satisfaction as those endorphins are released in our bloodstream. However, the more out of shape we are, the harder it is to go to the gym; the more we have to force ourselves to go. The Church is simply playing the role of the personal trainer: reminding us that God knows what’s best for us and that if we do what he says, no matter how spiritually out of shape we are, we will reap the rewards of our efforts.
The kind of snobbery exhibited by those of us that look down our noses at those who struggle to be in church and simply don’t seem to “get it” is akin to saying a fat person shouldn’t go to the gym. This is simply not true. I wonder how much more God must love them for their enormous effort to be there?
Please note also, that just like going to the gym, going infrequently or rarely does little to no good whatsoever. In order to build our spiritual muscles, we need to go to mass regularly and frequently. For some of us this means every day of our lives, but that is not how God has called all.
Thank you God for the Holy Catholic Church to interpret God’s will. That being the true obligation is the Sabbath (Sunday) and a few Holy Days of Obligation.
We must go even if we feel cruddy that day, or have fun plans, or just want to “chill”. We must go because HE IS WORTHY.

 

[Ron_Conte]

This teaching is probably the only Catholic teaching I have a problem with understanding. Perhaps it is subconscience denial as my dad was Baptist and never been to a mass or that my mother was unable to go to mass or didn’t quite make the extra effort before she died. But I have a problem accepting it is a “grave” offense. I often think of Jesus talking to the Samaritan woman of how worship will be in spirit and truth. Thanks.

Missing Mass is not necessarily a grave offense.

Missing Mass for a just reason: not a sin.
Missing Mass on occasion for little or no reason: a venial sin.
Missing Mass frequently or abandoning going to Mass altogether: a mortal sin.

The reason that missing Mass on occasion is only a venial sin is that it offends in a substantially limited way against a grave offense. Not every offense against a grave obligation is a grave offense. For example, if a husband offends against the grave obligation of fidelity to his wife, but only to a limited extend (such as by flirting with another woman), then his sin is venial, even though the obligation is grave.

Mortal sin:

Saint Thomas Aquinas: “Therefore when the soul is so disordered by sin as to turn away from its last end, viz. God, to Whom it is united by charity, there is mortal sin; but when it is disordered without turning away from God, there is venial sin.”

Pope John Paul II: “And when through sin, the soul commits a disorder that reaches the point of turning away from its ultimate end, God, to which it is bound by charity, then the sin is mortal; on the other hand, whenever the disorder does not reach the point of a turning away from God, the sin is venial. For this reason venial sin does not deprive the sinner of sanctifying grace, friendship with God, charity and therefore eternal happiness, whereas just such a deprivation is precisely the consequence of mortal sin.”

 

[PJM]

=TruthSkr;6115281]On Christmas Day I planned to take my 83 year old mother to Mass at 9 AM. Early that morning she called me saying that she thought she might be having a stroke. She did not want to call 911 so I rushed over to her house and took her to the ER. After numerous tests it was determined that she did not have a stroke and was discharged for follow up with another doctor. By the time I got her home and got home myself it was about 11:45 AM, just enough time to rush to the last Mass of the day at 12:00 PM. The problem was that we (mom and I) were due at my sister-in-law’s with my wife for Christmas dinner at 1:00 PM. It was to be a large dinner for about 15 people and we did not want to be late. So I chose to take mom to dinner and not go to Mass since we would have gone had we not been in the hospital most of the morning and didn’t want to hold up dinner for everyone. I do not think I sinned by missing Mass in this case but would like some other opinions. Over the years I had the occasion to miss Mass on Sunday when traveling to remote locations where Mass was not accessible. So if there’s no way to get there then it must not be a sin. Right?

As you were of the opinion that it was not a Mortal sin [assuming a sincere opinion] all the conditions for a Mortal sin were not present.

However I humby suggest that you made an improper evaluation of the circumstances.

An opportunity to attend Mass did exist and you choose not to accept it.

Your reason did not override the Grave Moral Obligation to attend Mass. Christ said:

**Matt.10: [38] **and he who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me.

**Mark.8: [34] **And he called to him the multitude with his disciples, and said to them, "If any man would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.

**Luke.14: [27] **Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me, cannot be my disciple.

Life is filled with difficult and inconvient decisions precisely so we can prove of LOVE of our God.

In addition to Missing Mass and the Grace of Mass and Holy Communion, it seems to be that you missed a great “teaching moment” when your example quite likely would have made a very Catholic impression on your family.

What is done, is done. You may CHOOSE to confess this anyway?

Love and prayers,