missing mass

[kate_jackson]

I miss mass sometimes on a sunday-I do go very regularly- but I miss it sometimes because I have 8 children and we seem to sometimes just miss by being disorganised. I have never felt guilty (I would if I did it all the time) but after reading posts here I have realised it is a mortal sin. Am I right? Is it mortal? As a mum sometimes I feel that sundays are as busy, if not more, as any other day especially with my husband working away at the moment. So sometimes-not often we cant face up to the rush! Hope im not expressing this in a flippant manner.

 

[MonikaBarbara]

Yes, missing Mass on Sunday through your own fault is a mortal sin. The only reason you should ever miss Mass on Sunday is if you are ill or stranded with no way to go to church, or if you have to stay home with a sick child or family member because you cannot find anyone to care for them while you are at Mass.

 Basically, in order to miss Mass on Sunday without moral sin you need a very good excuse: disorganization and being busy don't count. We all must make time for the Lord because He's the most important. 

 If you did not know that it was a sin when you did it before you have not sinned morally because you did not have full knowledge.

 

[ClearWater]

I miss mass sometimes on a sunday-I do go very regularly- but I miss it sometimes because I have 8 children and we seem to sometimes just miss by being disorganised. I have never felt guilty (I would if I did it all the time) but after reading posts here I have realised it is a mortal sin. Am I right? Is it mortal? As a mum sometimes I feel that sundays are as busy, if not more, as any other day especially with my husband working away at the moment. So sometimes-not often we cant face up to the rush! Hope im not expressing this in a flippant manner.

I am from a family of 11. Although my father did work 2 jobs as a teacher. My mother tended to us full time. I can’t remember them missing mass when I lived with them. I can only remember my father missing mass, much later in life, and that was literally only when he was dying!

I have a friend who has 8 children. Her youngest has Down’s syndrome. Not only does she, and her family, go to mass, but she also sometimes would go to adoration about 6 am once a week, saying it was the only time she had quiet time!

How can we be a good example to the children if the father or mother don’t go?

If you don’t go, I think it means your children also don’t go, right?

 

[ClearWater]

My brother, a doctor, married into another family of eleven. To the best of my knowledge, they also went to mass on Sundays, and one of them even became a priest!

 

[maryjk]

Yes, missing Mass on Sunday through your own fault is a mortal sin. The only reason you should ever miss Mass on Sunday is if you are ill or stranded with no way to go to church, or if you have to stay home with a sick child or family member because you cannot find anyone to care for them while you are at Mass.

Actually you don’t have to search for someone to watch your sick child. The fact that they are sick and you are their only parent around is enough reason to stay with them.

To the OP, do you miss other things because you are disorganized? Or is it just Mass? How old are your children? And when you say you miss because you are disorganized, is it because you just can’t get out the door? Or what?

You can listen to others tell you how their families had so many more children and they ALWAYS made it to Mass, but that doesn’t explain how they did it. Or if they really did.

Heck I know a large family that is never late for anything. But the father yells and screams at everyone until they are in the car. The poor mother is on the edge all of the time.

That doesn’t mean that the only way to be on time is to be a tyrant. But maybe some posters here can give some ideas about how to make it out of the door.

 

[ClearWater]

Actually you don’t have to search for someone to watch your sick child. The fact that they are sick and you are their only parent around is enough reason to stay with them.

To the OP, do you miss other things because you are disorganized? Or is it just Mass? How old are your children? And when you say you miss because you are disorganized, is it because you just can’t get out the door? Or what?

You can listen to others tell you how their families had so many more children and they ALWAYS made it to Mass, but that doesn’t explain how they did it. Or if they really did.

Heck I know a large family that is never late for anything. But the father yells and screams at everyone until they are in the car. The poor mother is on the edge all of the time.

That doesn’t mean that the only way to be on time is to be a tyrant. But maybe some posters here can give some ideas about how to make it out of the door.

We got up earlier enough, same as how we made it to school or anything else. We got our clothes out the night before that we were going to wear, just needed to get breakfast, head out.

 

[ClearWater]

If we had trouble getting up early enough, we either decided to go to another later mass, or my mother would tell us we’d need to go to bed earlier from then on the night before.

There are also Saturday evening masses, if Sunday morning, or later, is too hard.

 

[ClearWater]

Well, if we believe God comes first, missing mass gives a strong, clear message that He’s not first

We were told to honor the Sabbath. That’s first. We’re to give the first fruits of our time, money, etc. We are only asked 1 hour/week.

I remember once resisting mass, not wanting to go, and my mother said that Jesus had been crucified for our sins and that I couldn’t spend one hour of my time with him a week? I thought about that and went to mass with her.

 

[Joan_M]

The OP has 8 children. Unless they are all only one year apart, and the oldest, therefore, is 7 and the last one is a small baby, there must be at least 2 of those 8 that can help get some of the others ready!

In any large family, the older children help with the younger ones. Mom should not have to do it all herself, unless she actually allows that to happen.

If that is the case, it will take some effort to change things now, but it really should be done.

 

[kate_jackson]

Thankyou for the reply I wont miss again.

 

[maryjk]

I am from a family of 11. Although my father did work 2 jobs as a teacher. My mother tended to us full time. I can’t remember them missing mass when I lived with them. I can only remember my father missing mass, much later in life, and that was literally only when he was dying!

We got up earlier enough, same as how we made it to school or anything else. We got our clothes out the night before that we were going to wear, just needed to get breakfast, head out.

You might notice, ClearWater, that the OP is getting all of the children ready and taking them by herself, while her husband is away. Her husband is unable to attend with the family, since he is “working away at the moment.”

Maybe it is because I have a small family, but I couldn’t imagine keep track of 8 children, at Mass, without my husband’s help. (Unless of course some of the children are much older then the rest.)

 

[kate_jackson]

He is back at the weekend but with him being away we are both a bit more strained! But the point is and you are right that if it is a mortal sin this is not good enough…so ill not miss. I thought that the odd miss didnt matter as I could probably justify it with having a large family! How wrong is that! Thanks for the responses as I wanted a straight answer. Lots of people are not at mass every weekend so I thought best endeavours was the norm but this is how things slide so I will not miss.

 

[Neofight]

I miss mass sometimes on a sunday-I do go very regularly- but I miss it sometimes because I have 8 children and we seem to sometimes just miss by being disorganised. I have never felt guilty (I would if I did it all the time) but after reading posts here I have realised it is a mortal sin. Am I right? Is it mortal? As a mum sometimes I feel that sundays are as busy, if not more, as any other day especially with my husband working away at the moment. So sometimes-not often we cant face up to the rush! Hope im not expressing this in a flippant manner.

You have your hands full…I’m sure posters are trying to be helpful, but from a simple post, they cannot profess to know the state of your grace, or whether your salvation is in jeopardy…thank goodness God has more mercy than some of our neighbors!

 

[PhiloMed]

You might notice, ClearWater, that the OP is getting all of the children ready and taking them by herself, while her husband is away. Her husband is unable to attend with the family, since he is “working away at the moment.”

Maybe it is because I have a small family, but I couldn’t imagine keep track of 8 children, at Mass, without my husband’s help. (Unless of course some of the children are much older then the rest.)

I can’t imagine taking my son (15 months) by myself without my husband.

I am really irritated by the holier-than-thou attitude on this thread.

Everyone has a different tolerance level and everyone has a different capacity for organization. How lovely for those of you who came from a family of 47 children and whose mothers had you all dressed and ready to go everywhere on time.

Not everyone has that ability. Not everyone has the same skills and talents.

With 8 children I probably wouldn’t get anywhere without at least one extra pair of hands. I also wouldn’t expect that the older ones care for the younger ones. I’ve seen the result of that among my friends who were the “older ones”. They have no interest in families of their own since they feel they already raised kids.

Missing mass happens. We’re not supposed to, but it happens. There isn’t a checklist of excuses that make it ok to miss mass because everyone has different circumstances. For some, a sick child isn’t enough reason to miss. For others, some snow on the ground isn’t enough. For others, either of those is acceptable. Chaos at home occasionally happens and sometimes it’s why one will miss mass. As to if that’s a sin or not is up to the individual, their confessor and God.

 

[maryjk]

With 8 children I probably wouldn’t get anywhere without at least one extra pair of hands. I also wouldn’t expect that the older ones care for the younger ones. I’ve seen the result of that among my friends who were the “older ones”. They have no interest in families of their own since they feel they already raised kids.

I know many families in the same situation.

Their older children are married, but have no interest in children of their own. Or their older children aren’t married, but again have no interest in getting married because they have no interest in children.

Now, I also know large families that had older children take care of younger children and now either have children of their own or can’t wait to do so.

So it does go both ways.

But I am with you, PhiloMed. Children shouldn’t be *required *to take care of children.

 

[RoseMary131]

Thankyou for the reply I wont miss again.

I miss mass sometimes on a sunday-I do go very regularly- but I miss it sometimes because I have 8 children and we seem to sometimes just miss by being disorganised. I have never felt guilty (I would if I did it all the time) but after reading posts here I have realised it is a mortal sin. Am I right? Is it mortal? As a mum sometimes I feel that sundays are as busy, if not more, as any other day especially with my husband working away at the moment. So sometimes-not often we cant face up to the rush! Hope im not expressing this in a flippant manner.

Hello Kate,

Yes, missing Mass is a sin.

If someone knew that they are obligated and choose not to attend, it is a mortal sin.

If you have not been aware that it was a mortal sin, in my opinion, it is not the same sin as someone who knew missing Mass for un-necessary reasons is a mortal sin.

You can make changes to your Sundays to help with making it a day of rest - while there will still be work - you can adjust to make it less busy. I think you will find it a great blessing from God to slow down your Sunday.

Find the best Mass time that works for your family on Sunday or the Vigil Mass on Saturday evening.

Ready yourself and your family as if you had any other appointment: time schedule, clothes ready, church bag for the little ones with quiet book, toy, etc.

I’m so happy to see that from reading here you have a new goal to meet your Sunday Obligation to attend Mass. Remember to attend the other Holy Days of Obligation throughout the year.

As your family becomes accustom to attending Mass each Sunday, it will become a bit easier to follow your new plan for Sunday Mass.

You may feel better if you have the chance to go to confession. If I were you, I would confess that I attend Mass regularly but sometimes don’t make Sunday Mass and now realize that it is a sin not to attend, so ask for God’s forgiveness.

God bless you, your dear husband, and your dear children.

 

[kate_jackson]

Ill ask our Priest. While I was breastfeeding the little ones I often stayed home relaxed, in my dressing gown, , eventually making the dinner while my husband took the other children to mass. I think looking back if I didnt do this I couldnt have managed having a large family which ive really loved doing.As they have got older im there every sunday with the odd miss.Its the mortal sin that worried me when I read it.

 

[kate_jackson]

I will go to confession as things are best said there! Thanks very much. X

 

[RoseMary131]

Ill ask our Priest. While I was breastfeeding the little ones I often stayed home relaxed, in my dressing gown, , eventually making the dinner while my husband took the other children to mass. I think looking back if I didnt do this I couldnt have managed having a large family which ive really loved doing.As they have got older im there every sunday with the odd miss.Its the mortal sin that worried me when I read it.

Its good that you plan to speak with your priest.

In my opinion, when you didn’t understand your obligation - while you may have been sinning - I don’t think it was mortal, as you did not understand what you were choosing.

God understands your heart. Today, you understand the mortal sin of choosing not to attend Mass on Sunday and other days of Obligation and have decided to not miss Mass.

Don’t be worried. Begin today with your new plans of not missing Mass.

Be at Peace.

 

[MomaMary8]

You might notice, ClearWater, that the OP is getting all of the children ready and taking them by herself, while her husband is away. Her husband is unable to attend with the family, since he is “working away at the moment.”

Maybe it is because I have a small family, but I couldn’t imagine keep track of 8 children, at Mass, without my husband’s help. (Unless of course some of the children are much older then the rest.)

I guess it must be easier to have a large family. My husband and I really do not need to be in the pew with the kids anymore. If one is not there (away on a trip or something) and the other has to step out with a fussy baby/toddler, I know the rest are just fine. The cry room allows me to see where my family sits, so I really do know that they sit well without me.

Dear OP

It is easy to make excuses for ourselves and why we shouldn’t have to be held to the same standards as others (more kids, farther to travel, work hours are odd, one parent, etc) but that just gives us a greater opportunity for receiving Grace. Obviously the Lord believes we can overcome obstacles that are before us and still live a life with Him, otherwise we would not be granted our individual struggles! Don’t look to others as to why you don’t have to do something that pleases God. Look to God and the cross to see why we should struggle to please Our Lord.

Please let us know if you need any tips or suggestions. Many of us have been through those difficult Sunday mornings with a handful of squirmy kids!!