Missing Mass

[cat3gs]

Here we go again with a missing Mass question My 16 yr old will be going away for a weekend with a friend. They will be back Sunday evening. The family is not Catholic. Does she need to get a dispensation or is she not culpable?

Thank you all in advance

 

[phillylawyer]

Here we go again with a missing Mass question My 16 yr old will be going away for a weekend with a friend. They will be back Sunday evening. The family is not Catholic. Does she need to get a dispensation or is she not culpable?

Thank you all in advance

She isn’t culpable when she’s 16 and out with friends who aren’t Catholic all weekend (I presume she won’t be driving). What time is she getting back Sunday evening? There might be a Sunday evening mass in your area. Check local universities and the Newman centers, as they often have Sunday evening masses.

 

[cat3gs]

She isn’t culpable when she’s 16 and out with friends who aren’t Catholic all weekend (I presume she won’t be driving). What time is she getting back Sunday evening? There might be a Sunday evening mass in your area. Check local universities and the Newman centers, as they often have Sunday evening masses.

That’s what I was thinking but I wanted to be sure. Unfortunately we live in a rural area with little choices for Masses. Maybe I can get her to read the daily readings with her friend on their drive home. Have their own little discussion.
Thanks

 

[sscott]

Maybe they will be in a town with a few churches. They might go to theirs and your daughter can go to hers.

 

[1ke]

You should talk to your priest, at 16 she is an adult in the church. She should ask for a dispensation.

 

[Yago]

does she know that place well?
is there any fear of getting lost?

 

[phil19034]

If she doesn’t get a dispensation, which she should try to do, then take her to Confession after she gets back to be safe.

It never hurts to go to Confession.

 

[12345678]

Honestly, I wouldn’t let her go unless Mass can be accommodated. Maybe there is a way for her to go on Saturday night/ or Sunday. If not, maybe that trip isn’t for her. Missing Mass is a big deal. Christians in other countries are being killed, and here we are ok with planning leisure activities where we end up missing Mass. There is a difference between not being able to go for reasons out of your control, and putting yourself in a situation where you can’t go.

 

[Dancer1409]

I would say she would defiantly need to go to confession before receiving communion. I don’t think being out with friends constitutes the serious reason stated in the catechism.

“2181 The Sunday Eucharist is the foundation and confirmation of all Christian practice. For this reason the faithful are obliged to participate in the Eucharist on days of obligation, unless excused for a serious reason (for example, illness, the care of infants) or dispensed by their own pastor.119 Those who deliberately fail in this obligation commit a grave sin.” - Catechism of the Catholic Church paragraph 2181

 

[St_Francis]

when my children have weekend activities like that, I always make sure they get to Mass, even if I go and take them myself.

But talk with your priest if this is a very special occasion.

 

[EasterJoy]

You should talk to your priest, at 16 she is an adult in the church. She should ask for a dispensation.

Yes. Let the person with the authority to give her a dispensation decide how she ought to handle this. Were it my daughter, I’d have her ask Father herself.

If she cannot attend Mass, it would be a good idea to provide her with the readings for the Sunday and perhaps a homily on them, so she can at least devote herself to prayer at some point as an observance. It is not required, but canon law implies it is recommended when it is impossible to attend Mass.

 

[phillylawyer]

I would say she would defiantly need to go to confession before receiving communion. I don’t think being out with friends constitutes the serious reason stated in the catechism.

In my experience, when teens are away on trips and don’t have the ability to get to mass, this is not the advice priests give them. As a minor, one’s ability to get to mass is limited while away with other adults for the weekend.

I would suggest she has a quick conversation with the priest, and I would bet he says that if she doesn’t have a car and can’t get to mass, it’s not a sin and does not need to be confessed.

 

[cat3gs]

Thank you all for your comments. Ya’ll’ve been a big help

 

[12345678]

In my experience, when teens are away on trips and don’t have the ability to get to mass, this is not the advice priests give them. As a minor, one’s ability to get to mass is limited while away with other adults for the weekend.

I would suggest she has a quick conversation with the priest, and I would bet he says that if she doesn’t have a car and can’t get to mass, it’s not a sin and does not need to be confessed.

I guess it depends on the priest, because I have heard that advice.
This is a choice. It isn’t impossible to go to Mass in this case. It seems like her parents would be willing to take her if she stayed with her parents. If she really wants to go maybe she can see if there is a Church near where they will be?
If instead of Sunday Mass, a teen’s favorite singer was in town Sunday morning and the teen received free tickets, but another family invited them to go somewhere else, I have a feeling all of a sudden it wouldn’t be impossible to be at the concert.

 

[phillylawyer]

I guess it depends on the priest, because I have heard that advice.
This is a choice. It isn’t impossible to go to Mass in this case. It seems like her parents would be willing to take her if she stayed with her parents. If she really wants to go maybe she can see if there is a Church near where they will be?
If instead of Sunday Mass, a teen’s favorite singer was in town Sunday morning and the teen received free tickets, but another family invited them to go somewhere else, I have a feeling all of a sudden it wouldn’t be impossible to be at the concert.

No one said it would be impossible for her to go. Just that she would likely have a serious reason to miss mass. If you are sent away to Saudi Arabia for work for 2 weeks, and the only mass is 3 hours away each way, and you would have to spend $200 to rent a car to get there, is not going to mass justified? Most people would say yes.

Ah, but if someone said I have $1M waiting for you three hours away if you find a way to get there, would you do it? Yes you would. So your excuse for missing mass isn’t valid. Are you saying that money is more important than God? Ah ha. I caught you!

The point is not to be legalistic about the Sabbath, but to make sure that God is put first in our lives. Man wasn’t made for the Sabbath, Sabbath was made for man.

Mother Church, as a loving mother, instructs us that mass should be the center of our week, and so we should have a serious reason to miss mass.

When you are a minor away on a trip with adults who have control over transportation, your ability to control where you go is limited. Therefore, “I am a minor away on vacation and have no way to get to mass” is, in my personal opinion (note: this is not official Catholic teaching, just my personal opinion), a just reason. Particularly when you are a minor and under the legal guardianship of other adults for that weekend, your ability to control your own life (and thus your obligation to get there) is lessened than it is for adults.

Could the kid skip the trip because she would have to miss mass? Yes. Is that morally required? Well, if it is, Catholics are never allowed to go away on vacation (or business?) to any place where they couldn’t get to mass on Sunday, because they always have the option to skip the trip and stay home and go to mass instead.

Anyway, as is apparent from this thread, opinions on this matter differ from Catholic to Catholic, because there is no concrete guidance from the Church on this. It probably makes the most sense for the 16 year old to have a quick conversation with the priest and ask for his advice.

Blessings.

 

[12345678]

No one said it would be impossible for her to go. Just that she would likely have a serious reason to miss mass.

Ok change impossible to ‘doesn’t have the ability’ or ‘can’t’

If you are sent away to Saudi Arabia for work for 2 weeks, and the only mass is 3 hours away each way, and you would have to spend $200 to rent a car to get there, is not going to mass justified? Most people would say yes. Ah, but if someone said I have $1M waiting for you three hours away if you find a way to get there, would you do it? Yes you would. So your excuse for missing mass isn’t valid. Are you saying that money is more important than God? Ah ha. I caught you!

Bad example, because I never take a trip without planning Mass out first and have rented cars to make it to Mass (and yes, you bet I would find a way to get to the 1 M ) BTW, leisurely trips and work-related trips are very different, and work-related trips can also vary. I am not rich, but have been able to go to many places without missing Mass… masstimes.org. My parents would have never let me go on a trip where I would miss Mass…in fact I wouldn’t have asked because I knew the answer, and that was a great example for me, which helped me to not miss Mass ever (without being ill) in college nor later in life. I’m not saying to miss the trip, maybe there is a way to make it to Mass?

The point is not to be legalistic about the Sabbath, but to make sure that God is put first in our lives. Man wasn’t made for the Sabbath, Sabbath was made for man.

Mother Church, as a loving mother, instructs us that mass should be the center of our week, and so we should have a serious reason to miss mass.

Agreed, I guess your interpretation of putting God first and my interpretation are different. The Church is pretty clear in what is required Mass attendance-wise, it is not legalistic to say it is required to go to Mass every single Sunday and we cannot miss without serious reasons. Man wasn’t made for the Sabbath, Sabbath was made for man is not an argument that lessens our duty of to Mass. Catechism:

2173 The Gospel reports many incidents when Jesus was accused of violating the sabbath law. But Jesus never fails to respect the holiness of this day.98 He gives this law its authentic and authoritative interpretation: "The sabbath was made for man, not man for the sabbath."99 With compassion, Christ declares the sabbath for doing good rather than harm, for saving life rather than killing.100 The sabbath is the day of the Lord of mercies and a day to honor God.101 "The Son of Man is lord even of the sabbath."102

When you are a minor away on a trip with adults who have control over transportation, your ability to control where you go is limited. Therefore, “I am a minor away on vacation and have no way to get to mass” is, in my personal opinion (note: this is not official Catholic teaching, just my personal opinion), a just reason. Particularly when you are a minor and under the legal guardianship of other adults for that weekend, your ability to control your own life (and thus your obligation to get there) is lessened than it is for adults.

Could the kid skip the trip because she would have to miss mass? Yes. Is that morally required? Well, if it is, Catholics are never allowed to go away on vacation (or business?) to any place where they couldn’t get to mass on Sunday, because they always have the option to skip the trip and stay home and go to mass instead.

Anyway, as is apparent from this thread, opinions on this matter differ from Catholic to Catholic, because there is no concrete guidance from the Church on this. It probably makes the most sense for the 16 year old to have a quick conversation with the priest and ask for his advice.

Blessings.

I agree with talking with a good priest on the subject.

ETA: I see comments about getting a dispensation (which would be the only way to be able to choose to miss Mass), but keep this in mind:

Can. 1244 §1. It is only for the supreme ecclesiastical authority to establish, transfer, and suppress feast days and days of penance common to the universal Church, without prejudice to the prescript of ⇒ can. 1246, §2.

§2. Diocesan bishops can decree special feast days or days of penance for their dioceses or places, but only in individual instances.

Can. 1245 Without prejudice to the right of diocesan bishops mentioned in ⇒ can. 87, for a just cause and according to the prescripts of the diocesan bishop, a pastor can grant in individual cases a dispensation from the obligation of observing a feast day or a day of penance or can grant a commutation of the obligation into other pious works. A superior of a religious institute or society of apostolic life, if they are clerical and of pontifical right, can also do this in regard to his own subjects and others living in the house day and night.

For a priest to give dispensation it has to be a just cause and according to the prescripts of the diocesan bishop.

 

[phillylawyer]

Ok change impossible to ‘doesn’t have the ability’ or ‘can’t’

Bad example, because I never take a trip without planning Mass out first and have rented cars to make it to Mass (and yes, you bet I would find a way to get to the 1 M ) BTW, leisurely trips and work-related trips are very different, and work-related trips can also vary. I am not rich, but have been able to go to many places without missing Mass… masstimes.org. My parents would have never let me go on a trip where I would miss Mass…in fact I wouldn’t have asked because I knew the answer, and that was a great example for me, which helped me to not miss Mass ever (without being ill) in college nor later in life. I’m not saying to miss the trip, maybe there is a way to make it to Mass?

Agreed, I guess your interpretation of putting God first and my interpretation are different. The Church is pretty clear in what is required Mass attendance-wise, it is not legalistic to say it is required to go to Mass every single Sunday and we cannot miss without serious reasons. Man wasn’t made for the Sabbath, Sabbath was made for man is not an argument that lessens our duty of to Mass. Catechism:

I agree with talking with a good priest on the subject.

ETA: I see comments about getting a dispensation (which would be the only way to be able to choose to miss Mass), but keep this in mind:

Can. 1244 §1. It is only for the supreme ecclesiastical authority to establish, transfer, and suppress feast days and days of penance common to the universal Church, without prejudice to the prescript of ⇒ can. 1246, §2.

§2. Diocesan bishops can decree special feast days or days of penance for their dioceses or places, but only in individual instances.

Can. 1245 Without prejudice to the right of diocesan bishops mentioned in ⇒ can. 87, for a just cause and according to the prescripts of the diocesan bishop, a pastor can grant in individual cases a dispensation from the obligation of observing a feast day or a day of penance or can grant a commutation of the obligation into other pious works. A superior of a religious institute or society of apostolic life, if they are clerical and of pontifical right, can also do this in regard to his own subjects and others living in the house day and night.

For a priest to give dispensation it has to be a just cause and according to the prescripts of the diocesan bishop.

Thanks for the thoughtful reply. Just to understand, is it your opinion that it is never acceptable to go on a vacation where attending mass is not a possibility (back packing trip through the Yukon, trip through parts of Saudi Arabia, exploration through the artctic, etc.)?

I traveled across the Western U.S. for a couple of months and was able to use masstimes.org to find mass every week except one. Camping outside of Zion National Park in Utah, there was not an available mass with a priest close enough to celebrate mass (lots of Mormon services though). I could have taken my friend’s car without his permission and driven 80 miles each way to mass. But, I decided that wasn’t the right answer. I did the readings and prayed the liturgy of the hours instead.

I imagine there are many more situations like that outside of the U.S., where finding mass in certain locations is next to impossible. I don’t think that it is the case that all faithful Catholics are prohibited from spending time in those locations where finding a mass is not a realistic possibility. Perhaps I misunderstood what you were saying.