Mistakes happen--dh is upset with his sister

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whatevergirl

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***Okay.

So some really great news came our way last Friday…my husband received a call from one of his brothers (my dh is one of nine kids) letting him know that one of their aunts, whose husband recently passed…left all nine kids some money. :eek: So gracious of them, I could not believe it!:o So, he (the brother) received his check in the mail – we should be receiving ours. Okay, well we looked Saturday…nothing. Yesterday, nothing. Today, my husband just called me, and nothing in the mail as it relates to this.

I said to him…‘who in your family, handled the submission of the addresses to this aunt?’ He said, his eldest sister. Here we go. Honestly, it amazes me that there is this ridiculous pecking order in my dh’s family…a sister who can barely see, has health issues, is handling the submission of the addresses for something as significant as this. :rolleyes: I said…‘why don’t you give her a call, and see what address she gave your aunt?’ (It actually was the aunt’s daughter that gave the info to her lawyer…to send out the inheritance checks)

Anyways…he calls, sure enough :rolleyes: she gave the wrong number of the street to the aunt’s daughter. :whistle: I said…‘why wouldn’t your sister call everyone to verify addresses?’ Further–why on earth are these checks coming to people via regular snail mail??? I mean, if I were sending someone a significant amount of money…I would send it via fed ex…certified mail…

But, this is dh’s family. 🍿 lol

Whatever, it is what it is. So, now after work…I have to walk down to this person’s house, who supposedly should have received this piece of mail…to see if they have it.

My question…what are the odds that this person is hanging on to this? It could be high, because they should have just ***received it. My dh said…‘they could cash it.’ I said, ‘yeah, they are going to run out and create a fake id, and cash the check.’ He said, ‘it happens all the time.’ I said…I don’t have the patience for this…

Can this seriously happen?😊 If they don’t have it…we will have the aunt put a stop payment on the check, and issue a new one. His sister apologized…she said, I can’t see too well anymore…I am not well like I used to be. I feel badly for her…but, I mean come on. If I can’t see well, I’m going to give the task to someone who can. Again, this is dh’s family…everyone has their ‘order’ to follow. I grew up nearly as an only child (my sis raised me), so I don’t get the whole pecking order thing.

So…what would you guys do…??

The best case would be the neighbor held onto it…

DH is really angry with his eldest sister…he said…‘she needs to step down from her throne as mother hen, and allow someone else to handle stuff like this.’ (he said a few other things, but I’m keeping it ‘G’ for you all. ;))

I told him, it’s only money…it’ll come (albeit it’s frustrating)
 
whatevergirl said:
My question…what are the odds that this person is hanging on to this? It could be high, because they should have just ***received it. My dh said…‘they could cash it.’ I said, ‘yeah, they are going to run out and create a fake id, and cash the check.’ He said, ‘it happens all the time.’ I said…I don’t have the patience for this…

Can this seriously happen?😊 If they don’t have it…we will have the aunt put a stop payment on the check, and issue a new one. His sister apologized…she said, I can’t see too well anymore…I am not well like I used to be. I feel badly for her…but, I mean come on. If I can’t see well, I’m going to give the task to someone who can. Again, this is dh’s family…everyone has their ‘order’ to follow. I grew up nearly as an only child (my sis raised me), so I don’t get the whole pecking order thing.
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I think most people would write “RETURN TO SENDER” and return it at the very least. I wouldn’t start worrying yet.

They would have to be pretty criminal to actually cash the check, and if they did, you could easily prosecute them for fraud because you know where the check went. I wouldn’t worry about that one right now.
 
Yeah, that’s my hope. I am going to meander down to this neighbor’s house…and see what they did with it…my concern is if they say…we never received it…I haven’t thought that far out, but they would have had to receive it, because the address on the envelope is their address, verified by dh’s sister today. It just takes what is supposed to be a blessing, and makes it into a hassle. You know? 🤷
 
*Well, just talked to dh and he put a note on this neighbor’s front door. Hopefully, they did put in back in the mailbox, marked RTS, or they have it.

The history of all of this is…about a month ago, my dh’s mother told my dh that his aunt wanted everyone’s addresses…for future reference. Didn’t know this was coming…I mean, If it were me? I would tell people – be on the lookout for a gift in the mail, something.

Again…a blessing (which we are grateful for) has turned into a hassle…*
 
If I received a letter with my address but someone else’s name on it, I wouldn’t even open it in the first place 🤷 Your neighbor probably wouldn’t even know that it contained a check, so I wouldn’t worry about someone cashing it.

As for your husband’s sister, could it be that she takes up all the responsibilities even though she can’t handle them properly because no one else stepped up to do it? :o

I hope you’ll get the letter soon 👍
 
There are remedies. 🙂

It seems like you all have your bases covered, though. The first step would be to visit the neighbor and ask what happened to it. If they held onto it or sent it back RTS, then no big deal. If they cashed it or denied recieving it, then ask your husband’s sister to stop the check and send a new one.

As long as you act promptly on this and don’t sit on it, then it’ll be no big deal. If it gets cashed by someone else and the bank honors the check though, then you’re out of luck.

My advice is to get off the internet and go get some money! :manvspc:
 
The_Catechumen said:
There are remedies. 🙂

It seems like you all have your bases covered, though. The first step would be to visit the neighbor and ask what happened to it. If they held onto it or sent it back RTS, then no big deal. If they cashed it or denied recieving it, then ask your husband’s sister to stop the check and send a new one.

As long as you act promptly on this and don’t sit on it, then it’ll be no big deal. If it gets cashed by someone else and the bank honors the check though, then you’re out of luck.

My advice is to get off the internet and go get some money! :manvspc:
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LOL–I plan to!

Anyways…It’s just annoying. sigh We were so excited, and now, it’s like the whole thing has been deflated. 😦

This is why I don’t play the lottery. I’d probably get into a car accident on the way to collect my winnings, or a tornado would come, and blow the winning ticket out of my hand. :rolleyes:

Welp…heading off to see the neighbors…wish me luck! :o
 
*Sigh…

Well…I went next door…and the gentleman that opened the door, looked to be about late 50’s, maybe 60. Could hardly speak english…I shook his hand, introduced myself…I want to believe that if he had something in the mail that wasn’t his, that he’d either put it back for the mailman to pick up or he would give it to me. I stress - I WANT to believe that. He had a blank look when I explained what happened…and just said…‘I didn’t see anything that hasn’t had my name on it.’ He then added that he hasn’t checked the mail for the day yet, but when he does later, if he has something addressed to us, that he will bring it down to me. I don’t trust this will happen…call it a 6th sense, call it whatever.

I’m so annoyed with my dh’s sister right now. I know it was a mistake, but now…the aunt will have to stop payment on this check (I highly recommended my dh calling her tomorrow to have that done asap) which costs more money…then she has to reissue a check…a beautiful gesture on her part has to be thwarted because his sister read our address wrong, and gave the wrong street number.

My son said …‘well, if we see the neighbor driving a new car…getting a hot tub put in…new furniture coming to his house…we know he took the check.’ 😃 That (kinda) made me laugh. Thank goodness for our sense of humor, but I can’t seem to find it right now. My concern isn’t for us…it’s for that money landing in the wrong hands…😦
 
*Well…the neighbor (actually his son) came by a little bit ago, and dropped off the letter, with the check…we were happy. I felt bad that I didn’t trust…I suppose I need to work on that.

Then, my dh calls…tell him the good news. He says…‘uh, I called my sister earlier and had her call ‘m,’ (his aunt’s daughter) to stop payment on the check.’ :confused: I said…why would you do this? We discussed that I’d go over to the neighbor’s house to see if they received it…then, tomorrow, you’d call her.

I am upset that my dh would do the opposite of what we discussed. I would never have done the opposite of what we talked about with something like this.

I think I need to go away for a few days by myself.

Thanks for listening everyone…I just wanted to give you the scoop of how the whole thing turned out. *
 
I’m sorry this blessing has turned into a migraine for you. 😦

Take care, and God bless!
 
WG, sorry for the trouble. But I have to agree with what your husband requested. If there is a suspicion that they check may have fallen into unreliable hands, then asking for a stop-payment is appropriate. Yes, it is inconvenient, but at least it is safe.

I am also glad thet your neighbor turned out to be more reliable than first appeared. At least you have a certain degree of faith in others restored. 🙂
 
*I agree, rpp–but he didn’t tell me …he did it, and we had agreed prior that we would wait to see if the neighbor had the check. I sometimes wonder if I’m talking a different language, or my husband is…

It has been resolved. We made up last night. It is a blessing, that became a pain, but it all worked out. Hopefully, the aunt’s daughter didn’t stop payment, but if she did…oh well…I imagine she will send us a new check. It is so nice of them to do, I am in shock…I have only met the aunt’s daughter once in my entire life.

Thanks for your sentiments. I’ve known you long enough, please feel free to call me Sharon. :)*
 
Sometimes my husband seems to feel the need to DO something NOW, especially if he sees I’m upset about something. I think it’s the protector/provider instinct kicking in! Glad everything worked out for you. Debbie
 
convert999 said:
Sometimes my husband seems to feel the need to DO something NOW, especially if he sees I’m upset about something. I think it’s the protector/provider instinct kicking in! Glad everything worked out for you. Debbie
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Yep. That would sum up how I might react.
 
I can’t say I blame him either. Glad you at least figured out what happened and all. At least it’s not in the wrong hands.
 
msugeotech said:
I can’t say I blame him either. Glad you at least figured out what happened and all. At least it’s not in the wrong hands.
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***Yes, so true.

I feel badly that I failed at what could have been a test from God, of my patience. I don’t know why, but sometimes I lack patience with the silliest of things. 😊***
 
Hi Sharon,
Patience is not a virtue of mine either. But,anyways, can ya loan me some money? :rolleyes:

Kathy
 
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