Mistress' are victims now?!?!?

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TarAshly

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i’ve been surfing around the Dr.Phil website and was reading one of the message boards in response to an episode about a man who had an affair on his wife that resulted in a child. now all these other women are coming out saying “oh poor me he promised to leave his wife for me and he didnt” what a bunch of wha wha’s! are you kidding me. they are all upset because Dr.Phil doesnt take the OW (other woman) feelings into consideration, well poor her she lay in bed with another womans husband she deserves what she’ll get, shes no victim! the wife and the children are the victims! i have never been cheated on by my fiance but my father cheated on my stepmother and my mother. i felt he cheated on me too! he was out with another woman and her kids, while i never saw him! and when i lost my temper and broke her nose he defended her against me and admonished me for my actions (which i know were wrong but am ashamed to say i dont regret) im so sick and tired of these women making excuses for themselves!!
 
Yes, here we see that not one but three people were hurt, probably devastated. Then there are relatives and maybe children hurt too. When people do these things, they dont think. They don’t think anyong will know. But it has a way of coming back and hurting.

In God’s “BOOK OF INSTRUCTIONS” for humans, he tells us what to avoid, to avoid hurt. He tells us what to do to be happy. The “book of instructions” was well written, by the “manufacture” - God.
 
There are men who victimize needy (and foolish) women in this way. They give them long stories of how they aren’t understood, they’re being used, only you really understand me, etc. They make promises, even tell themselves lies, whatever it takes to get the advantage they’re after. And yes, these women are victims, although in the same sense as people are victims who are taken by scam artists promising to make them rich if they’re willing to bend the rules. (And yes… there are women who do this when they cheat on their husbands, too.)

God doesn’t just rain compassion on us when we deserve it. He is compassionate towards us when we’re stupid, too, and we all have been stupid, in that we have all believed some of the evil one’s lies. That doesn’t make stupid, evil choices okay. It just means that we have reason to pity other sinners, too. So even though this is a sin that has burned you as a true innocent, try very hard to hate the sin, but love the sinner. It will someday make it easier for you to accept the forgiveness you need, but don’t deserve.
 
Go get 'em, Tar.

Here’s da rules: No whining when you have an affair with a married man (woman) and it goes sour. You have absolutely no expectations/rights: nothing. Besides, if the guy/gal will have an affair behind his/her spouse’s back, what makes you think he’ll be honest with you? Puh-leez. As the much derided Helen Gurley Brown said in her book, Sex and the Single Girl, “The wife always has a lot going for her. The law, for instance.”

Same applies when a woman has an affair with a priest. You KNOW what you’re doing. No whining when you end up on the losing end of the practicalities.
 
if people only knew the pain they caused themselves and others when their drawers hit the floor… 😦
 
space ghost:
if people only knew the pain they caused themselves and others when their drawers hit the floor… 😦
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Man… I love your posts!!!
 
I have a friend who is 19…she’s dating a 35 year-old man with wife and daughter. I think it is completely pathetic. She doesn’t know that any of her friends know, but we do. It obvious. When we try to raise the topic, she adamntly denies it. We know (from small town politics and gossip :() that she is really upset because he won’t divorce his wife for her…it makes me so angry that someone as smart as her is stupid enough to think that she has any right in that relationship. She’s just being used, but doesn’t see it.
 
forget about her! she is no victim! this mans wife and children are the victims thats my whole point. everyone wants to be like oh poor you your being used blah blah blah but what about his children who will be scarred for life ( im telling you this from personal experiance ) and the marriage she will destroy and what his wife will have to go through. remind her that if he will do it with you he will do it to you and what goes around comes around and she may be the wife facing the mistress some day. i think the mistresses dont realize that a mistress is only exciting as a mistress and if he marries her well then hes got a wife again and no mistress. what idiots!! i ahve no sympathey for them! im sorry your friend is in this situation but not sorry for her im sorry for the wife and kids. maybe you should remind her about the true innocents and victims in the situation. again im sorry if i have come across to harsh, its a tender spot with me. i apologize.
 
Tar, I completely agree with you. I have no patience or sad feelings for her. I do for his wife and children. What i do feel sad for is that she doesn’t realize what she is asking him to do. She wants him to divorce his wife for her. She’s just being used and he’ll find someone else to cheat on her with. A vicious cycle. When it all comes crashing down on her, she’ll have a break-up of an entire family on her hands and will have that guilt for the rest of her life.
 
I think it is the men who are victimized in this whole “mistress” ordeal. The poor guy is just trying to live his life and these women just throw themselves at him. WHat is he to do, hurt their feelings and turn them down? How uncharitable!! How unloving!!! He is just trying to help her feel like a special woman, and then she starts to put demands on him!!! Poor guys are just caught between a rock and ahard place.
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TarAshly:
please tell me youre kidding.
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Absolutely not! Poor victimized men getting caught up with these sexually predatory women. Please tell me you aren’t siding with the women, are you? C’mon, you can’t be serious? You actually blame the men for their affairs!!! I can’t believe it, don’t you have such a thing as objective reality in the south?
 
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Scott_Lafrance:
Absolutely not! Poor victimized men getting caught up with these sexually predatory women. Please tell me you aren’t siding with the women, are you? C’mon, you can’t be serious? You actually blame the men for their affairs!!! I can’t believe it, don’t you have such a thing as objective reality in the south?
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I don’t buy that. It takes two to tango. Let’s be realistic here.
 
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Scott_Lafrance:
Absolutely not! Poor victimized men getting caught up with these sexually predatory women. Please tell me you aren’t siding with the women, are you? C’mon, you can’t be serious? You actually blame the men for their affairs!!! I can’t believe it, don’t you have such a thing as objective reality in the south?
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i cant tell if youre being serious or not. your argument is so unintelligent and mocking im going to assume your being fasecious. sp?
 
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TarAshly:
i cant tell if youre being serious or not. your argument is so unintelligent and mocking im going to assume your being fasecious. sp?
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Ashley, I am so sorry for the confusion. I try to make my satire as blatantly obvious as possible, but I am obviously not up to snuff today. I abhor adulterous men. I realize that people are sinners and more often than not fall off the bandwagon, but a violation of marital chastity undermines the very foundation upon which a marriage is built. Why do you think God used the allagory of the adulterous wife when referring to idolatrous Israel in the old testament?
 
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TarAshly:
i cant tell if youre being serious or not. your argument is so unintelligent and mocking im going to assume your being fasecious. sp?
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Tar, I myself still can’t be certain if Scott is serious or being facetious, but either way I don’t think this is a subject to joke about. It causes extreme pain to be the victim of cheating…no matter if the husband or wife is the one doing the cheating.
 
In case there is any doubt as to the true nature of my opinion on the topic of adultery, I submit a previous comment.
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Scott_Lafrance:
I abhor adulterous men. I realize that people are sinners and more often than not fall off the bandwagon, but a violation of marital chastity undermines the very foundation upon which a marriage is built.
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Scott_Lafrance:
In case there is any doubt as to the true nature of my opinion on the topic of adultery, I submit a previous comment.
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Sorry Scott…as my kids say…“my bad”! I apologize also…I posted my response before I saw yours…:o
 
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