Mixed Family Dilemma

[constantconvert]

I converted to Catholicism after I was married. My husband and I were both Presbyterian. For about the last year my husband has not been attending church. (He doesn’t have any spiritual life-- prayer, interest in spiritual things, act of charity, etc.) When we were attending it was primarily because I got us there, but in the past year I haven’t wanted to go to his church because, although people are polite, they are anti-Catholic and do not believe I am a Christian.

Recently I told my husband I think he should go somewhere. If he doesn’t want to go to Mass with me, I told him I could go to Saturday evening Mass, and get us all to the Presbyterian church on Sunday. I’m not sure if this is the right thing to do…? He is willing to go to Mass with me sometimes, but is far from converting. He is not thrilled about the idea of the kids becoming Catholic, although he might allow it if I really pressed the issue.

My oldest daughter (14) likes to go to Mass with me, and doesn’t like the Presbyterian Church, but she can’t become Catholic because she doesn’t believe in transubstantiation, thinks it’s weird to pray to saints, etc. My kids aren’t getting the religious formation that they should, and it’s really weighing on me.

Advice? (Just to add-- of course I attend Mass on Sun. and often during the week as well.)

 

[SMHW]

You don’t say how long you have been Catholic or what kind of religious education your children have had. I would factor those matters into my answer if I knew more. I would be reluctant to go as a family to your husband’s Presbyterian service unless it was at his request. I’d take a different tact. I’d suggest that you are concerned that your children will not take practicing any Faith seriously when he doesn’t consider attending services very important. Tell him how important a Father’s influence is in this area. If he doesn’t think practicing his own brand of Christianity is important then you think he should at least help you present a somewhat united front by coming with you and the children while you practice your Faith.

 

[Veronica97]

I think your husband has to make his own decision in this. If he wants to go to Mass with you–even some of the time–then encourage that. Some is better than none. If he wants to go to the Presbyterian service every week, then I would go with him, but leave the children with a grandparent or babysitter for that hour. You are Catholic, you are obligated to teach your children the Catholic faith, and they are likely to become “confused” by conflicting beliefs. You, on the other hand, are solid in your faith, and it would be okay to show support for your husband in his search for God by attending service with him (as long as you attend Mass with your children on Saturday evening as you said you would). It doesn’t matter what your daughter may or may not believe at this time. Continue to take her to Mass with you, pray for her to understand, and try to teach her as much of the Catholic faith as you can.

 

[constantconvert]

Thanks for your (name removed by moderator)ut. I will discuss this further with my husband. I wish we would all be Catholic, but it’s a big commitment and a serious one, so I don’t want to push it. Perhaps though, we could all attend my church. My younger kids would like it.

 

[cdaters]

Hey constantconvert, I was curious to know if you had made any headway with your husband?

I feel that it was lack of a spiritual life in my family that has led to my wife and I seeking divorce. We have been separated for almost two years now and she is expecting a child with her boyfriend of one year.

I became a Catholic in the 80’s (I worked through the RCIA process) and was pretty active in the Church for several years. I fell away from the Church for awhile until I married in the 90s and my wife and I were expecting children.

I wanted our children to grow up with a spiritual life and encouraged my wife to go through the RCIA process as I had. My son and daughter were both baptized and we went to church for a while until my son became too unruly to attend Mass.

We stopped attending and I believe that this is where our foundation fell apart. So for the past several years we had not attended church at all.

After my wife and I separated, my son decided he wanted to learn more about Jesus and had begun to attend a cavalry chapel church with a friend. I was moved by his initiative and sought out a church to start attending myself. I started attending Church again this past Lent and feel really good (despite the impending divorce). I am hoping to get my son to attend my church soon so he can see how beautiful Catholicism can be.

I made him a wire-wrapped Rosary of swarovski pearls and beads and had it blessed this past Sunday. I will give it to him during our visit tonight and will show him how to use it in prayer.

 

[constantconvert]

Hey constantconvert, I was curious to know if you had made any headway with your husband?

I feel that it was lack of a spiritual life in my family that has led to my wife and I seeking divorce. We have been separated for almost two years now and she is expecting a child with her boyfriend of one year.

I became a Catholic in the 80’s (I worked through the RCIA process) and was pretty active in the Church for several years. I fell away from the Church for awhile until I married in the 90s and my wife and I were expecting children.

I wanted our children to grow up with a spiritual life and encouraged my wife to go through the RCIA process as I had. My son and daughter were both baptized and we went to church for a while until my son became too unruly to attend Mass.

We stopped attending and I believe that this is where our foundation fell apart. So for the past several years we had not attended church at all.

After my wife and I separated, my son decided he wanted to learn more about Jesus and had begun to attend a cavalry chapel church with a friend. I was moved by his initiative and sought out a church to start attending myself. I started attending Church again this past Lent and feel really good (despite the impending divorce). I am hoping to get my son to attend my church soon so he can see how beautiful Catholicism can be.

I made him a wire-wrapped Rosary of swarovski pearls and beads and had it blessed this past Sunday. I will give it to him during our visit tonight and will show him how to use it in prayer.

I haven’t had a chance to talk to my husband yet, but I plan to tonight. Not having a spiritual life makes marriage very difficult, at least in my case. I’m sorry to hear about your divorce. I hope your son loves his rosary, and uses it often