Mixed marriage question

[reagent6]

So my wife of 26 years is Protestant (Congregationalist) and I am a cradle Catholic. Our wedding cereomony took place in her church. The marriage was officiated by her minister and the pastor of my church. They each led us in parts of our vows and each blessed the rings and us.

We had a good friend (since deceased) who was a deacon and who gave us the then current marriage preparation- this was in the 80’s. He told us that he (or our pastor) had applied for and received permission from the Bishop for this mixed marriage to go forward- though I never saw anything on paper about that. We also received pre-marital counseling from her minister.

In the past few years I have become more involved with the Church and have come to appreciate even more the depth and beauty of the faith. Thank you catholic.com and CAL! Now I am wondering if I was actually married ‘in the church’.

Am I, and does it matter? Am I just being scrupulous? Are we missing out on a grace? If needed how would I go about getting our marriage regularized? I believe that my wife would agree to go along with with whatever I feel is the right thing to do.

Its not a question that keeps me up at night. I’m not seeking ordination as a deacon nor a reason for an anulment here- far from it. Its been rocky at times but over the years we have strengthened each other in faith. There is no possibility that my wife will convert-though I still pray that she will.

Peace to all who read this.

 

[1ke]

I do not understand why you are doubting your pastor and deacon. You completed the premarital process, they told you of the dispensation, and your pastor attended the marriage ceremony.

What you can do, if you feel the need, is obtain your sacramental records from your parish. The marriage should have been recorded in your parish, and a copy of the information sent to your baptismal parish.

In the hypothetical, if it were deteremined that a priest did not obtain a dispensation from form or permission for a mixed marriage, radical sanation would be an option for correcting the situation.

 

[Matthew_Holford]

So my wife of 26 years is Protestant (Congregationalist) and I am a cradle Catholic. Our wedding cereomony took place in her church. The marriage was officiated by her minister and the pastor of my church. They each led us in parts of our vows and each blessed the rings and us.

We had a good friend (since deceased) who was a deacon and who gave us the then current marriage preparation- this was in the 80’s. He told us that he (or our pastor) had applied for and received permission from the Bishop for this mixed marriage to go forward- though I never saw anything on paper about that. We also received pre-marital counseling from her minister.

In the past few years I have become more involved with the Church and have come to appreciate even more the depth and beauty of the faith. Thank you catholic.com and CAL! Now I am wondering if I was actually married ‘in the church’.

Am I, and does it matter? Am I just being scrupulous? Are we missing out on a grace? If needed how would I go about getting our marriage regularized? I believe that my wife would agree to go along with with whatever I feel is the right thing to do.

Its not a question that keeps me up at night. I’m not seeking ordination as a deacon nor a reason for an anulment here- far from it. Its been rocky at times but over the years we have strengthened each other in faith. There is no possibility that my wife will convert-though I still pray that she will.

Peace to all who read this.

You say that you were given permission for a mixed marriage. This permits a Catholic to marry a baptised non-Catholic Christian.

However, you did not marry according to canonical form. Therefore, you need to check that you were granted a dispensation from canonical form. If you were not this might make you marriage invalid due to the grounds of defect of form. You would need to see your parish priest to arrange for your marriage to be regularised.

 

[puzzleannie]

We had a good friend (since deceased) who was a deacon and who gave us the then current marriage preparation- this was in the 80’s. He told us that he (or our pastor) had applied for and received permission from the Bishop for this mixed marriage to go forward- though I never saw anything on paper about that. We also received pre-marital counseling from her minister.

In.

this is routine, and the permissions are applied for by the priest or deacon preparing the couple for marriage, without requiring much action on their part. Rest easy.

You say that you were given permission for a mixed marriage. This permits a Catholic to marry a baptised non-Catholic Christian.

However, you did not marry according to canonical form. Therefore, you need to check that you were granted a dispensation from canonical form. If you were not this might make you marriage invalid due to the grounds of defect of form. You would need to see your parish priest to arrange for your marriage to be regularised.

this is in error and irrelevant. OP is not asking about annulment he remains happily and validly married. Canonical procedure was followed, he was so assured at that time, so there no reason to raise any concerns. There is nothing to check out, everything was done properly assurance given at that time.

 

[Matthew_Holford]

this is routine, and the permissions are applied for by the priest or deacon preparing the couple for marriage, without requiring much action on their part. Rest easy.

this is in error and irrelevant. OP is not asking about annulment he remains happily and validly married. Canonical procedure was followed, he was so assured at that time, so there no reason to raise any concerns. There is nothing to check out, everything was done properly assurance given at that time.

It doesn’t matter whether he’s seeking an annulment or not. If there’s nothing to check out, if it’s all so cut and dried, why is the OP asking these questions. We weren’t there so we don’t know what paperwork was done. He’s one of the spouses and he isn’t sure. He clearly states that he was married in a Protestant church. As a Catholic he needs dispensation to do this. He knows he was given permission for a mixed marriage. Maybe, just maybe, the dispensation from lack of canonical form didn’t happen. There is no harm, if it puts the OP’s mind at rest, to check whether it was granted. If it wasn’t … well, you know what that means.

 

[Phemie]

This is routine paperwork that the priest preparing the couple exchanges with the bishop. The signed permission comes back and is filed and I don’t imagine many, if any, couple sees the actual ‘permission granted’ piece of paper. I know I didn’t see any when I got married and at that time I needed a ‘dispensation’ to marry a baptized non-Catholic, today I’d only need ‘permission’ and in my diocese that would be granted by the priest preparing us.

 

[puzzleannie]

, why is the OP asking these questions. We weren’t there so we don’t know what paperwork was done. .

OP was there at the time, he did ask the question at that time, he was given proper assurance at that time. No there is no harm in asking, but there is much harm in giving him more anxiety where there needs to be none at all. The marriage record of the parish where Catholic party belonged will have the record of the marriage if it is valid, including notations that the dispensations and permissions were received.

 

[Matthew_Holford]

OP was there at the time, he did ask the question at that time, he was given proper assurance at that time.

And, here asking now.

No there is no harm in asking, but there is much harm in giving him more anxiety where there needs to be none at all.

It is not my intention to cause the OP more anxiety. But, when someone comes asking I don’t see the point in giving an incomplete response.

In fact, neither you, nor I, nor anyone can answer the OP’s question. To get the answer required the OP needs to start with the OP’s parish priest.

 

[jollybird]

Perhaps one of the elders or veterans on here can fill in here because I cannot remember all of the details here but I have the jist. I will try to find it in my notes from a recent class I took at a local Catholic University.

One of the Church Doctors (I believe Augustine) pondered the question…if a sacrament is performed by an illicit priest or by someone pretending to have the authority to administer the sacrament, is it valid for the person receiving such sacrament?

The particular question was about baptism. After much prayer and thought it was decided that yes, the sacrament was valid because there was no justification for the church to believe that God would withhold sacramental grace to someone who truly wanted to receive it and believed they did in fact receive that grace.

In light of this I cannot imagine that the OP could ever have be considered to be in an invalid marriage if his priest says he got dispensation and even performed part of the ceremony. Unless he was crazy, I cannot imagine any pastor would involve himself in something that would have been scandalous.

The OP was told he had proper dispensation so IMHO, he should not worry.

My mother was baptized as a child into the Methodist Church. When she converted years later, they had the certificate in hand decided to “conditionally” baptise her anyway…just in case. However, with or without that second baptism, my mother was a Catholic - her original baptism was completely valid.

 

[1ke]

In light of this I cannot imagine that the OP could ever have be considered to be in an invalid marriage if his priest says he got dispensation and even performed part of the ceremony.

Yes, it could be invalid (this is hypothetical) if he did not get the dispensation from form. Because lack of form invalidates an attempt at marriage because it is an impediment. If it were only the permission for mixed marriage that he failed to get, it would be valid. Lack of permission for a mixed marriage does not create an impediment.

The OP relates that the priest participated in the ceremony, but we do not know how. If he received the consent of the couple and exchange of vows in its entirity, then it was valid (but then it also **was **in the Catholic form). This would be highly irregular, the priest should not receive the consent and exchange of vows if form has been dispensed nor should he preside at a marriage in a Protestant church if it hasn’t.

If the priest was merely a witness or gave a blessing (which is all he is supposed to do once a dispensation from form has been obtained… he is NOT to receive the vows) then it would not be valid without the dispensation.

My mother was baptized as a child into the Methodist Church. When she converted years later, they had the certificate in hand decided to “conditionally” baptise her anyway…just in case. However, with or without that second baptism, my mother was a Catholic - her original baptism was completely valid.

Marriage and the laws governing it are not the same as baptism.