Mixed Marriage

[KittyCou32]

I have two questions relating to my impending marriage to my dearly beloved, a beautiful non-Catholic Christian with honest respect for my Catholic faith.

1. He has agreed to a Catholic ceremony in a Catholic church, because he knows I need it. I, however, want to include him and his family as much as possible. Would it be permissible to allow members of his family to pray or read Scripture “before” the ceremony, so as to incorporate both sides into our wedding?
2. Can we get married and then fly out to renew our vows or have our marriage blessed at his church a few days later?

Thanks, all!

 

[Phemie]

I have two questions relating to my impending marriage to my dearly beloved, a beautiful non-Catholic Christian with honest respect for my Catholic faith.

1. He has agreed to a Catholic ceremony in a Catholic church, because he knows I need it. I, however, want to include him and his family as much as possible. Would it be permissible to allow members of his family to pray or read Scripture “before” the ceremony, so as to incorporate both sides into our wedding?
2. Can we get married and then fly out to renew our vows or have our marriage blessed at his church a few days later?

Thanks, all!

#1, Ask your priest. I know that in our church they allow non-Catholics to do one of the readings at weddings when there is no Mass.

2. No, that one is categorically against the laws of the Church.​

Canon 1127 §3. It is forbidden to have another religious celebration of the same marriage to give or renew matrimonial consent before or after the canonical celebration according to the norm of §1. Likewise, there is not to be a religious celebration in which the Catholic who is assisting and a non-Catholic minister together, using their own rites, ask for the consent of the parties.

 

[KittyCou32]

I don’t mean anything along the lines of getting “re-married” … I just wanted to know if it would be possible to have his pastor pray for our new marriage in front of his congregation, etc.

 

[1ke]

1. He has agreed to a Catholic ceremony in a Catholic church, because he knows I need it. I, however, want to include him and his family as much as possible. Would it be permissible to allow members of his family to pray or read Scripture “before” the ceremony, so as to incorporate both sides into our wedding?

Yes, it is certainly possible to include his family in the wedding and I suggest you talk to your priest about what roles they can have before or during the ceremony.

1. Can we get married and then fly out to renew our vows or have our marriage blessed at his church a few days later?

No.

From Canon Law regarding mixed marriage (Canon 1127)

§3. It is forbidden to have another religious celebration of the same marriage to give or renew matrimonial consent before or after the canonical celebration according to the norm of §1. Likewise, there is not to be a religious celebration in which the Catholic who is assisting and a non-Catholic minister together, using their own rites, ask for the consent of the parties.

 

[cabolissa]

It sounds like neither of you truly respect eachother’s religious cerremonies, actually. Almost like each doesn’t believe in the validity of the other’s ceremony. What happens when you raise/baptize your kids?

FYI, I was raised a Christian, who became a Catholic at 27, and married my Catholic husband a year later…

 

[Thomas63116]

I don’t mean anything along the lines of getting “re-married” … I just wanted to know if it would be possible to have his pastor pray for our new marriage in front of his congregation, etc.

Congratulations on your upcoming marriage! As others have pointed out, Canon Law forbids a second ceremony that involves the renewal or exchange of consent, presumably because it would cause confusion about which ceremony is the “real” ceremony. (Personally, I don’t see how this is terribly different from a couple renewing their vows and receiving a blessing on a major anniversary, which is permitted. I guess the close proximity to the original ceremony could be a source of confusion for some perople).

Of course I’m not a canon lawyer, but I don’t see how this provision would prohibit you and your new spouse from attending his church some Sunday shortly after you are married and having his pastor offer a brief prayer for the two of you as you begin your married life together.

 

[Princess18]

I don’t mean anything along the lines of getting “re-married” … I just wanted to know if it would be possible to have his pastor pray for our new marriage in front of his congregation, etc.

Your situation sounds similar to mine. My husband is no longer Baptist but his family is. They were not thrilled that we were getting married in the Catholic Church, but agreed that it’s customary to get married in the church the bride grew up in, so they had no real room to argue. His mom asked if the next time we came to visit, if we would stand up and allow the pastor that baptised him to lead the congregation in a prayer asking God to bless our marriage. I understood that they wanted to include the church he grew up in, but I had to say no.

First, if she wanted anyone in their church to come to the wedding then she could add them to her limited-number invite list and they could drive down 5 hours and see it sitting in the pew like everyone else. This show does not go on the road, so to speak.

Second, it almost felt like she didn’t think God was present in the Catholic Church and she was covering her bases by asking her pastor to pray for us. Maybe she just wanted us to be extra blessed, but I was not comfortable with the way it came across. The wedding would have already taken place and I was not going to “reenact” part of our ceremony so that she could feel better about it.

Why not just hold a party? Maybe his church has a reception hall or something and you could show up in non-wedding clothes and be the guests of honor. The kind of party where no rituals take place.

As a side note, we asked a few of his family members to participate in the ceremony. All but one declined because they didn’t feel comfortable doing “Catholic things”. That’s fine, but I don’t have to have a second ceremony because they excluded themselves from the real one.

My situation could be totally different. Perhaps he and his family are not asking for the extra stuff, maybe you’re just offering it. Either way, when you have kids there are going to be a lot of Catholic things that your family will be doing and a lot of Protestant things that they won’t be doing. Don’t try to add extra stuff now only to have to back out of it later.

Congrats on your marriage, by the way.

 

[tcpgoxu57]

Canon Law was cited in order to answer the question about subsequent marriage blessings of a mixed marriage in a Protestant church following a valid sacramental wedding in a Catholic church. Canon Law does not permit this practice.

If the mixed marriage husband and wife are not aware that this practice is not allowed (or if they knowingly disregard this proscription), what are the consequences? Is their sacramental marriage still valid or is it declared null and void? Does the Catholic spouse commit a sin? Venial or Mortal? If a grievous sin, can the sin be absolved in the confessional or does absolution come from the Ordinary of the Diocese, the Bishop?

Please indicate whether there are any other issues or corrective actions that must be addressed in these and similar circumstances.

 

[Just_Lurking]

Please indicate whether there are any other issues or corrective actions that must be addressed in these and similar circumstances.

You will need to ask your priest to ask the bishop for a radical sanation of the marriage.

 

[Phemie]

You will need to ask your priest to ask the bishop for a radical sanation of the marriage.

There is no reason to do any such thing.

The poster is only asking what happens if you do repeat your vows in a non-Catholic Church. I think nothing happens if neither party was aware that such is forbidden. It would be a sin of disobedience if they were aware but did it anyway. You can’t take back a sacrament. If the marriage was valid, it’s still valid. The repeated vows don’t cancel the ones taken in the Catholic Church.

 

[Just_Lurking]

There is no reason to do any such thing.

The poster is only asking what happens if you do repeat your vows in a non-Catholic Church. I think nothing happens if neither party was aware that such is forbidden. It would be a sin of disobedience if they were aware but did it anyway. You can’t take back a sacrament. If the marriage was valid, it’s still valid. The repeated vows don’t cancel the ones taken in the Catholic Church.

The plan to make other vows vitiates the consent exchanged in the Catholic ceremony, thus making the marriage invalid. If the couple is no longer together, this can be grounds for an annulment. If the couple wish to remain together and make their marriage valid, then radical sanation under canon 1162 §2 is needed.

 

[dans0622]

If the mixed marriage husband and wife are not aware that this practice is not allowed (or if they knowingly disregard this proscription), what are the consequences? Is their sacramental marriage still valid or is it declared null and void? Does the Catholic spouse commit a sin? Venial or Mortal? If a grievous sin, can the sin be absolved in the confessional or does absolution come from the Ordinary of the Diocese, the Bishop?

Please indicate whether there are any other issues or corrective actions that must be addressed in these and similar circumstances.

Hi tcpgoxu57,

Once marriage consent is validly given, and a valid marriage results, that marriage can’t be revoked or invalidated by later consent, or lack thereof. If that were the case, there wouldn’t be any problem with divorce: a couple could just say “I don’t want to be married.” and that would extinguish the marriage. Or, even stranger than that, a person could say “We’re married. But, I want to make our marriage invalid. So, let’s go to the Protestant church and exchange our consent again. That way, we won’t be married anymore.”

So, there are no consequences arising from this second ceremony, as far as the marriage itself is concerned. The couple wouldn’t need to do anything to correct the marriage. No validation of any kind is needed. It is a valid marriage already.

As far as sin goes, all a person would have to do is talk to the priest in confession and treat the matter like any other sin. In terms of penalties–there are no canonical penalties for the repetition of an exchange of marriage consent. It is simply prohibited by the law, with no attached penalties. (If there are penalties, I would like to know where to find them).

Dan

 

[cameron_lansing]

The plan to make other vows vitiates the consent exchanged in the Catholic ceremony, thus making the marriage invalid. If the couple is no longer together, this can be grounds for an annulment. If the couple wish to remain together and make their marriage valid, then radical sanation under canon 1162 §2 is needed.

It may and it may not vitiate the consent to be exchanged at the Catholic canonical ceremony. That would depend upon the intention involved in the act of the will by each of the parties to enter marriage. The presumption in law is that each would intend and place true marital consent in the Catholic ceremony (c. 1101). The Church takes people at their word.

On the one hand, a couple might have a second non Catholic religious ceremony merely for some familial or social reason. This is, as noted, forbidden nevertheless. It would not invalidate the marriage. While no penalty in law accrues, there would a moral issue for the Catholic by committing an action that the Church prohibits by ecclesiastical law, if the Catholic knows of the law. That would need evaluation of details with a priest.

On the other hand, one or both may consider the Catholic ceremony as inefficacious, withhold true matrimonial consent, and suspend true marital consent until the second ceremony.

Then a problem would arise in the second case, and its remedy would require some form of convalidation, although not necessarily a radical sanation.

If there is a prospective doubt that the non Catholic party would withheld consent at the Catholic ceremony, it would need to be discussed with a priest and evaluated before marriage is celebrated canonically, or if retrospective (after the celebrations), before further action is pursued in remedy.

 

[Just_Lurking]

If there is a prospective doubt that the non Catholic party would withheld consent at the Catholic ceremony, it would need to be discussed with a priest

I should have though of that! :doh2: Discussing the actual situation with your priest is always the way to go!