Mixed Marriages

[Joe_Kelley]

Encountered this re Jewish intermarriages today. I suspect that it is equally applicable to Catholics.

The Intermarriage Taboo

…Outside of Orthodox circles you cannot come out and say that intermarriage and assimilation is a problem. It has become a taboo subject. In a not so distant past, stopping intermarriage and assimilation was the rallying cry used to garner support for Jewish outreach initiatives. Federations used the term “Jewish continuity,” to imply that the Jewish people have something of unique value worthy of preserving. Today it is likely you’ll be attacked for bigotry and racism and that rallying cry will more likely push Jews away…

The difficulty of discussing intermarriage is a natural – and terribly unfortunate – outcome of the increasing schism that is occurring within world Jewry. As the Pew report’s portrait of American Jewry clearly showed, intermarriage rates are skyrocketing. If you leave out the Orthodox, 71.5% of American Jews marry outside the faith. Only 17% of children of intermarried couples will marry a Jew, and the largest block of American Jews under 40 are the unaffiliated. As Steven Weil, from the Orthodox Union, pointed out, “With a birthrate of only 1.9 children and an astoundingly high intermarriage rate, American Jewry is on a train speeding headlong into self-destruction.”

…

 

[PaulfromIowa]

The difficulty of discussing intermarriage is a natural – and terribly unfortunate – outcome of the increasing schism that is occurring within world Jewry. As the Pew report’s portrait of American Jewry clearly showed, intermarriage rates are skyrocketing. If you leave out the Orthodox, 71.5% of American Jews marry outside the faith. Only 17% of children of intermarried couples will marry a Jew, and the largest block of American Jews under 40 are the unaffiliated. As Steven Weil, from the Orthodox Union, pointed out, “With a birthrate of only 1.9 children and an astoundingly high intermarriage rate, American Jewry is on a train speeding headlong into self-destruction.”

On the other hand, the Orthodox are thriving. 83% of Orthodox Jews stay Orthodox. The birthrate among Orthodox Jews is significantly higher than most other religious groups (4.1 children per adult). Sarah Bunin Benor, a professor of Jewish studies at the Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion, said "Orthodox Jews will eventually likely be the majority of American Jews.” 60% of Jewish children in the New York City area live in Orthodox homes and that number will only increase. Included in the 10 most popular names for girls in New York City are: Esther, Sarah, Leah, Rachel, Chaya and Chana. The name Moshe is the fourth most popular name for boys.

Most American Jews do not practice their faith. They intermarry and have very few children, children who do not even consider themselves Jewish. Demography is destiny. Jews are likely to dwindle to less than one percent of the US population.

The situation with Catholics is not quite the same as the Catholic Church does not forbid mixed marriages, only requiring dispensation. It is likely true that those Catholics who marry non-Catholics are less religious and less likely to pass on their faith to their children, despite the required promises.

 

[Xantippe]

Most American Jews do not practice their faith. They intermarry and have very few children, children who do not even consider themselves Jewish. Demography is destiny. Jews are likely to dwindle to less than one percent of the US population.

The situation with Catholics is not quite the same as the Catholic Church does not forbid mixed marriages, only requiring dispensation. It is likely true that those Catholics who marry non-Catholics are less religious and less likely to pass on their faith to their children, despite the required promises.

It’s also a bit different when your group is 2% of the US, versus roughly 1/4 of the US.

Also, the US Jewish birthrate is very low (except for the Orthodox).

There simply isn’t the same potential for near demographic obliteration for Catholics in the US as there is for Jews.

 

[EasterJoy]

I think the bigger problem are the couples who marry and try to raise their children as “both,” whatever that is, or even dual-Catholic couples who are too intent on “letting the child decide on her own.” This can twist the truth that the Church is the fountain of the Holy Spirit but not the Holy Spirit’s limiting boundary into the falsehood that God does not care what you believe, where or how you worship, what the church you choose to join, or even whether or not you go to church at all, because “all that matters is being a good person.” They can imply to their children that the goal of faith is to “find a church that is right for you.” They can unwittingly give their children a relativist message that ruins rather than instills faith.

 

[Captain_America]

A “mixed marriage” is a difficult boat to row, because there can be many intentions about the couple’s spiritual direction. . . he marries her to “change” her and vice versa. . . or casual ecumenism, which means religious concerns are bracketed or deleted.

Two MMs I’m familiar with have shown that in practice, as far as I can see, it weakens faith generally.

 

[jlc2k2]

Honestly, I think there is a pretty big difference in Jewish intermarriage and Catholic intermarriage due to ethnic concerns. If I had married a Jewish man and converted, I would never be able to be ethnically Jewish and have 100% Jewish kids. Whereas by my converting and raising our kids Catholic, there are 4 more Catholics in the world in every sense.

That’s not to say that Catholic MM are easy but it’s different.

 

[High_flyer]

Originally Posted by PaulfromIowa
The situation with Catholics is not quite the same as the Catholic Church does not forbid mixed marriages, only requiring dispensation. It is likely true that those Catholics who marry non-Catholics are less religious and less likely to pass on their faith to their children, despite the required promises.

I would say this is correct. I am the non-Catholic in my marriage and my wife is very much a non-practicing Catholic. In fact our Pre Cana experience was so bad that it reminded her of why she does not go to church anymore.