mixed marriages

[Kaily]

If a Catholic and Protestant marry, what is the Church’s teaching on how the children should be raised and is it ok for the children to go to both church’s, Catholic and Protestant or would that be too confusing for them and therefore not a good idea?

 

[whatevergirl]

If a Catholic and Protestant marry, what is the Church’s teaching on how the children should be raised and is it ok for the children to go to both church’s, Catholic and Protestant or would that be too confusing for them and therefore not a good idea?

I’m not 100% certain, but I believe the teaching is that the couple agrees the children will be raised Catholic.

 

[1ke]

If a Catholic and Protestant marry, what is the Church’s teaching on how the children should be raised

The Catholic is obligated to baptize and raise their children in the Catholic faith. The non-Catholic must be informed of the Catholic’s promise to raise their children Catholic during the marriage preparation process.

and is it ok for the children to go to both church’s, Catholic and Protestant

No. They are to be raised as Catholics, not Protestants, and not “both”.

or would that be too confusing for them and therefore not a good idea?

Of course it would be too confusing. Mixed marriages are a a very serious issue. A Catholic should seriously heed the wisdom of the Church which does not encourage mixed marriage and in fact advises against it.

 

[whatevergirl]

The Catholic is obligated to baptize and raise their children in the Catholic faith. The non-Catholic must be informed of the Catholic’s promise to raise their children Catholic during the marriage preparation process.

No. They are to be raised as Catholics, not Protestants, and not “both”.

Of course it would be too confusing. Mixed marriages are a a very serious issue. A Catholic should seriously heed the wisdom of the Church which does not encourage mixed marriage and in fact advises against it.

good advice

 

[AlanFromWichita]

Simply taking the kids to a Protestant service once in a while isn’t forbidden, is it? That is, as long as you still fulfill Catholic obligation and do not partake in their communion service if they have one…

I don’t go to very many non-Catholic services (no need to - we have full plate here) but I’ve been to a few and I think it helps me understand Catholicism better to see other points of view. Most notable was that their services were not centered around the Eucharist like ours; they were much more focused on Bible preaching or musical “worship and praise.” One that annoyed me had a communion service, and the pastor said, “take this and eat; this is a symbol of my body,” and likewise with the blood. (emphasis on “a symbol” was his) After giving a pretty decent sermon, I was disappointed to hear what almost sounded political in the words he changed. If I’m not mistaken, he had preached out of the NIV which does NOT say “a symbol” so he was rewriting the same scripture over which he had just sermonized. If I had taken a child to that service, it would provide a good point to discuss and talk about why we are Catholic, the Real Presence, and to take others’ Bible quoting as tentative unless we check it out ourselves.

Alan

 

[1ke]

Simply taking the kids to a Protestant service once in a while isn’t forbidden, is it?

Once in a while? No.

BUT, for what purpose? Cousin Trudie’s wedding… or “let’s go to Mommy’s Church and worship?”

I don’t go to very many non-Catholic services (no need to - we have full plate here) but I’ve been to a few and I think it helps me understand Catholicism better to see other points of view.

You are not seven years old.

If I had taken a child to that service, it would provide a good point to discuss and talk about why we are Catholic, the Real Presence, and to take others’ Bible quoting as tentative unless we check it out ourselves.

Easier said than done. Children do not think like adults, they cannot parse things out as you do. They become confused very easily-- and can become distressed when parents are in conflict.

If you were married to a non-Catholic, took your kid to their church, and then proceed to pick apart their service you’ll end up with a kid who says something like, “Mommy, Daddy says what they teach at your church is wrong.” (Mommy & Daddy fight ensues).

BUT, if you don’t correct the errors the children will absorb them and incorporate them into their little brains.

Uh-- not a smart idea either way.

Honestly-- mixed marriage is such a bad idea. Too bad so few heed the Church’s warnings any longer, and too bad the priests don’t do a better job of communicating the peril of mixed marriage.

 

[AlanFromWichita]

If you were married to a non-Catholic, took your kid to their church, and then proceed to pick apart their service you’ll end up with a kid who says something like, “Mommy, Daddy says what they teach at your church is wrong.” (Mommy & Daddy fight ensues).

That is a good point. I guess I was from the standpoint of having a Catholic wife and taking the children to another service where, if there is something they do “wrong” it doesn’t become a wedge between us.

Alan

 

[teme]

When my wife and I wed, she was Methodist. She joined the Catholic Church at Easter this year!

I assume this is true for all Catholic marriages in the US, and perhaps the world. In the papers indicating we were of sound mind, free to marry, etc, there was also a commitment to raise any children as Catholic. Now, our priest said we could interpret that either that we would raise them as Catholic (all the sacraments, attend Mass, etc), or as a Catholic would raise a child (in a good Christian way). Now, neither my wife nor I bought that fuzzy position, so we agreed to raise our 5 year old, as well as the future children in full communion. So, essentially, my understanding is that Catholics who marry non-Catholics must agree to raise their children in the faith as a pre-requisite to marriage.

I agree with the consensus of other postings in that attendance at different churches will confuse the child. The culture of relativism had many roots in the wacky thinking of “let’s see all of what’s out there to find the truth”. To a child, everything he or she experiences is truth, so parents must only show truth.

 

[puzzleannie]

If a Catholic and Protestant marry, what is the Church’s teaching on how the children should be raised and is it ok for the children to go to both church’s, Catholic and Protestant or would that be too confusing for them and therefore not a good idea?

the Catholic spouse is bound by Church laws on marriage, which means he must seek and receive a dispensation from his bishop to marry a non-Catholic, and he must promise to have any children baptized and receive full sacramental initiation, and to raise and educate them in the Catholic Faith. The non-Catholic spouse does not have to make such a promise but must be informed of the obligations that fall on the Catholic partner.

As a DRE who has been involved in attempting to educate children from mixed marriages in the Faith, I can attest that attending two churches, two Sunday School/CCD programs and hearing conflicting messages from parents and other relatives is indeed confusing to the children and will quite likely result in the child abandoning the faith altogether as he gets older.

 

[puzzleannie]

Simply taking the kids to a Protestant service once in a while isn’t forbidden, is it? That is, as long as you still fulfill Catholic obligation and do not partake in their communion service if they have one…

I Alan

no and that is not the topic raised by OP.

 

[AlanFromWichita]

no and that is not the topic raised by OP.

Sorry…

 

[redtech]

Honestly-- mixed marriage is such a bad idea. Too bad so few heed the Church’s warnings any longer, and too bad the priests don’t do a better job of communicating the peril of mixed marriage.

Your post makes me sad.

I’m in a mixed marriage. If I had found a suitable mate that was Catholic that would have been great. Unfortunately, I live in a rural area and couldn’t find a match for myself in the Catholic community. My husband does attend Mass with me on occasion but my kids attend EVERY week. I don’t see any peril here.

 

[homewardbound]

Your post makes me sad.

I’m in a mixed marriage. If I had found a suitable mate that was Catholic that would have been great. Unfortunately, I live in a rural area and couldn’t find a match for myself in the Catholic community. My husband does attend Mass with me on occasion but my kids attend EVERY week. I don’t see any peril here.

I don’t see any peril there either. But in some mixed marriages the non Catholic may not agree in raising the children only Catholic and insist on taking their children to their place of worship. That can and often does have dire consequences for the children. I have never met a person my age, who was raised by parents of two different faiths, who practice any faith at all. They get confused and/or disillusioned by the teaching of two different things and give up. Thats not what God expects of parents and doing this to their children they are failing in their parental duties.

 

[AlanFromWichita]

My husband does attend Mass with me on occasion but my kids attend EVERY week. I don’t see any peril here.

It’s nice to hear it is working out for you. Do the kids ever visit his church? If so, I wonder if you have run across the scenario another poster presented where the kids hear conflicting teachings and have to be told which church is true.

Alan