Modest dressing at mass

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crenfro said:
You could have the ushers pass out shawls/ coverups as people enter the building:D Sorry, I’m being no help.
I love the idea of handing out cover-ups for people when they enter church!

Thank you.
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That’s not a bad idea…

Another way would be for the priest to tell the offending party loud enough for people to around her to hear that he is sorry that she has to go off to work at a strip club after Mass and ask if the parish can do anything financially to help.

I’m sorry, but sometimes public embarassment is the best earthly weapon.
 
Norseman82 said:
That’s not a bad idea…

Another way would be for the priest to tell the offending party loud enough for people to around her to hear that he is sorry that she has to go off to work at a strip club after Mass and ask if the parish can do anything financially to help.

I’m sorry, but sometimes public embarassment is the best earthly weapon.
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Ok now that would probably make the person never go to that church again.
 
Jart said:
Ok now that would probably make the person never go to that church again.
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I don’t think it would. In my previous post, these churches/cathedral gave women who had bare arms/shoulders those paper cover ups when visiting. I don’t remember seeing anyone leave because of it and no one appeared put out. At the Cathedral in Florence, I remember even seeing a man be asked to wear one since he was wearing a muscle shirt or some sort.

If anything, it would make these people and the mothers of some of these girls rethink about how they dress for mass so as to avoid the paper coverup. I’ve heard priests at churches mention covering up towards the ends of their homilies or placing it in the bulletin, but that doesn’t seem to help either. Maybe they could do the paper cover up for a couple of weeks and at each of the masses stress the importance of dressing modestly for me. And they should give them to both males and females.

Just a thought. It may not work here in the US, but it would be worth a shot.
 
I believe we make up many problems that don’t need to exist. We worry too much about what people think rather than what God requires. Certainly His first command is to love Him and then to love one another.

Modesty consistently expected accomplishes both.
  1. Establish a policy.
  2. State the policy and have in distributed in print every week.
  3. Stick to that policy.
By doing so you elevate expectations. People like to be challenged to better than they are. Virtually everyone will seek to meet the challenge.

People have noted that when they visit cathedrals worshippers are expected to dress modestly. Doesn’t such an expectation usually bring about a greater sense of respect for God and His house? For most people it certainly does. Why wouldn’t we expect the same response from people in the our own Church? Don’t we want people to have a respect for God’s house?

CDL
 
Sarabande said:
My husband will make a point to sit in the front, no more than 4 or 5 pews pack because he says some of the young women are attractive and dress too “hot”. He will actually move pews if an attractive woman sits right in front of him.
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That is so funny, because that is what my husband does too.
 
crenfro said:
You could have the ushers pass out shawls/ coverups as people enter the building:D Sorry, I’m being no help.
I love the idea of handing out cover-ups for people when they enter church!

Thank you.
Click to expand...
a local parish does this.
 
Originally Posted by Jart forums.catholic-questions.org/images/buttons_cad/viewpost.gif
Ok now that would probably make the person never go to that church again.
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I don’t think it would. In my previous post, these churches/cathedral gave women who had bare arms/shoulders those paper cover ups when visiting. I don’t remember seeing anyone leave because of it and no one appeared put out.
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Don’t you think there’s a significant difference between being handed a wrap and being publicly singled out and deliberately humiliated by the priest? I do. And I would lose a lot of respect for any priest who believed public humiliation was an apprpopriately Christ-like approach to this problem.

Obviously it’s an issue and, like I said in my prior post, I dress modestly and so do my kids – but there’s an equal issue with people who are in mass to focus on the Lord and instead they’re all :mad: :mad: :mad: and :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: because they think someone else is disrespectful. How can you pray and worship when that’s your mindset? How can you pray and worship while hoping the priest will take a moment to embarrass someone?
 
Sarabande said:
I

If anything, it would make these people and the mothers of some of these girls rethink about how they dress for mass so as to avoid the paper coverup. .
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I blame the fathers more than the mothers. The fathers should know how immodesty affects young men.
 
I say speak to the Youth Minister/Sponsors. See if it can be raised as a topic in the Youth meetings.

The youth in our church are extremely reverent and many are very serious about their faith. If these kids set the example, many will follow.

I realize that other people besides the youth dress immodestly. Oh, well.

I have to admit, I wish I still had the figure to dress immodestly. Sigh. People would run if I came to church in a sleeveless shirt.

BTW, I disagree about cranking up the air conditioning. What a waste of money for a parish! I love the cold and I do prefer a good, chilly church all year around! But I think that we need to be good stewards of energy use and spend the parish offerings wisely. That money can be spent on so many other more pressing needs. Besides, many of the scanty dressers, like me, may prefer a frosty atmosphere and a temp of 54 degrees might just make them happier!
 
leonie said:
I blame the fathers more than the mothers. The fathers should know how immodesty affects young men.
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Very good point… Sometimes I think it may be a blessing in disguise when this happens (the women/girls dressing immodestly I mean), because it brings up the discussion between my husband and I (he is usually the one who points it out) and it reinforces for him that his daughter (if we ever have one 😉 ) will “NEVER” dress like that, especially at mass. 😃
 
dwc said:
Don’t you think there’s a significant difference between being handed a wrap and being publicly singled out and deliberately humiliated by the priest? I do. And I would lose a lot of respect for any priest who believed public humiliation was an apprpopriately Christ-like approach to this problem.

Obviously it’s an issue and, like I said in my prior post, I dress modestly and so do my kids – but there’s an equal issue with people who are in mass to focus on the Lord and instead they’re all :mad: :mad: :mad: and :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: because they think someone else is disrespectful. How can you pray and worship when that’s your mindset? How can you pray and worship while hoping the priest will take a moment to embarrass someone?
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My bad… I didn’t read that other post closely enough. I thought we were still talking about handing out the coverups. Yes, I would agree that there is a significant difference in being asked to wear a coverup as we walk into the vestibule of the church, rather than be singled out by a priest publicly. I don’t believe public humiliation in that form would work at all. But handing someone a paper cover or a wrap could work, especially after seeing it done in other churches already.

For me, when I see something that appears insulting or immodest, I give it maybe a few seconds of thought, then go back to what I was doing either before the mass or during the mass. I definitely don’t dwell on it while I’m in there.
 
leonie said:
I blame the fathers more than the mothers. The fathers should know how immodesty affects young men.
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Yes, you have a good point. In the end it is the responsibility of both parents.
 
I don’t think it has so much to to with causing a distraction with “those thoughts” about these people, I think it’s a basic respect issue. Respect for the other parishioners, respect for the Lord. Catholics have no concept of the “Sunday Best”.

My proposed list:

Men:
No shorts
no flip flops
no muscle shirts
Suggested absolute minimum - slacks and polo shirt

Women:
No short Shorts
No tank tops/sleeveless without sweater/shawl
Suggested minimum - slacks/skirt and blouse

Teens:
No logo tshirts
No soccer attire
Proper undergarments
No cleavage
No shorts on the boys
suggested minimum - nothing you would wear to school 😉
 
PaulinVA said:
I don’t think it has so much to to with causing a distraction with “those thoughts” about these people, I think it’s a basic respect issue. Respect for the other parishioners, respect for the Lord. Catholics have no concept of the “Sunday Best”.

My proposed list:

Men:
No shorts
no flip flops
no muscle shirts
Suggested absolute minimum - slacks and polo shirt

Women:
No short Shorts
No tank tops/sleeveless without sweater/shawl
Suggested minimum - slacks/skirt and blouse

Teens:
No logo tshirts
No soccer attire
Proper undergarments
No cleavage
No shorts on the boys
suggested minimum - nothing you would wear to school 😉
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Sounds completely reasonable to me. 👍
 
What if the logo t-shirt was pro-life or upheld Jesus Christ or something like that. Many of our teens wear such shirts.

CDL
 
PaulinVA said:
I don’t think it has so much to to with causing a distraction with “those thoughts” about these people, I think it’s a basic respect issue. Respect for the other parishioners, respect for the Lord. Catholics have no concept of the “Sunday Best”.

My proposed list:

Men:
No shorts
no flip flops
no muscle shirts
Suggested absolute minimum - slacks and polo shirt

Women:
No short Shorts
No tank tops/sleeveless without sweater/shawl
Suggested minimum - slacks/skirt and blouse

Teens:
No logo tshirts
No soccer attire
Proper undergarments
No cleavage
No shorts on the boys
suggested minimum - nothing you would wear to school 😉
Click to expand...
I would only add that under the Teens category that girls shouldn’t be allowed to wear shorts too.
 
I’m so happy to see the ‘no shorts’ rule applied to men!

My mother never allowed herself, my sister, or myself to wear shorts to church even on the hottest summer days. My brothers were always allowed, though they were the long, closer to knee length, ‘dressy’ kind. When I was younger, this infuriated me. Now that I’m older and wear skirts and dresses almost every single day (so much more comfortable and cooler in the summer than shorts could ever be - my shortest one comes just above my knee, most are just below, and not form-fitting, but still very fashionable) I mostly don’t mind when I see the double standard, though it is annoying.

I’ve only been distracted by clothing twice during mass - once by a teen girl’s low-rise jeans and hot pink thong (and I had to go to confession because my thought wasn’t how horrible, but wow, she’s in shape) and then once - in a national shrine no less - by a father attempting to stop his little toddler from running out of the pew by hoisting his legs up to the top of the next pew, forming a barrier. I tried my best not to look, but it was too horrible not to sneak a few peaks - he was well groomed, in a short sleeved polo, dressy shoes, and medium-length dress shorts that, because of his position, were scrunched all the way up to his groin exposing a dangerous amount of thigh. I stopped looking when I realized I was probably seeing more than thigh 😊

He was seated next to his wife and two daughters, who were covered from collarbone to wrist to ankles in very full, modest dresses.
 
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