Modest Wedding Apparel

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vluvski

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First things first: my dear fiance, if you are reading this, please leave now:).

Before I started looking at wedding gowns, I said “absolutely no strapless.” After I started trying on dresses, though, I found that the strapless/spagetti strap dresses were actually a lot MORE modest than ones with sleeves or halter tops. So I settled on a strapless style that draws attention to an amazing hem.
View it here:
davincibridal.com/catlog.htm and select style E8057.

I have started having second thoughts about wearing a strapless or spaghetti strap dress for Mass. I found an ebay auction for a dress that included a bolero jacket, but those are few and far between, and usually get $$$$!

I have a few options.
  1. Mom says don’t worry, my veil will be covering my shoulders anyway, and a wrap or jacket will spoil the look of the dress.
  2. Spaghetti straps just to break up the look of skin all the way across.
  3. Wider straps for coverage, but my shoulders will still show.
  4. A full-fledged alteration (can’t think of how this could be done to look right, but…)
  5. A jacket- will be hard to find one that matches, or even find on at all without buying another dress that it goes with, or have it made
  6. A wrap- just not me, but an option nevertheless.
Then there’s the bridesmaids. I’m TRYING SO HARD to not be a bridezilla, and especially to go easy on my girls for costs. So, I’ve been watching ebay, and snatching up dresses in the right sizes and right colors. Everyone has a spaghetti strap dress, all but one for under $20! Should I have all of them wear wraps to cover their shoulders? I have the fabric as long as I don’t need all of it for the jr dresses (found that for $1/yd!!! nice satin even! that’s what I based my color scheme off, but it was super close and probably better than what I wanted in the first place anyway. I got so so lucky!)
I think I’ll have the junior bridesmaids’ dresses (2 of them) made, but they won’t be wearing spaghetti straps.

All thoughts are welcome.
We should start a pre-wedding thread at the water cooler for a broader topic where any brides to be like me can gush or vent or stress or brainstorm:D.
 
I had a similar dilemma last year. Almost all of the dresses around were strapless, low cut, or plain ugly. I found a halter dress (I had seen it in a magazine, tried it on in a store, and found it on ebay new, well they would order it from the bridal place to be made for me). It had a little bolero jacket/ shrug which I added 3/4 sleeves to instead of the small sleeves it had, and I wore that to Mass and took it off for the reception. I personally didn’t want to be sleeveless for my wedding Mass, and shrugs are even in now. I have a friend that got married in July and she wore a stole tied in the back to make it look like a shrug. All of her bridesmaids did the same. It looked really nice. It was a sheer material.

I got my bridesmaid/ maid of honor dresses at a very very good sale at Macy’s at they had sleeves (a little jacket).

If I would not have found the dress with shrug I would have bought some sheer material and had it made into a shrug/ little jacket, since I didnt want to deal with a stole. Sheer white matches with a white dress, its easier to match a sheer white than an non-sheer material white.
 
www.latterdaybride.com

beautifullymodest.com/

lynettes.com/

totallymodest.com/gowns.html

castlebrookweddings.com

Even if you already have your dress picked out, these sites could offer many options for making your dress a little more modest.

The other option you might have is to invest some money in a beautiful shawl- one that you can use when your babies are baptized (wrap them in it), when your girls have first communion, and when your children get married (pass it down or do the “something borrowed”.)

Shetland Lace Wedding Ring Shawls are my fave. They are so fine that they can pass through a wedding ring.

I’ll post a link if I can find one… 🙂

shetland-handknits.co.uk/lace.html (they are kinda expensive but lovely)

If you do a google of Shetland Lace shawl, or ‘wedding ring shawl’ you should be able to come up with various sites where they can be purchased.

🙂
 
I had 3 flower girls and got their dresses off ebay too. They were a lot cheaper than any dresses I saw anywhere else, though they took 2 months to make/ get here. They were made and sent from Bulgaria I think.
 
I think your dress is absolutely beautiful! I don’t find it immodest personally, but if you’d feel more comfortable having your shoulders covered, just use your veil to hang over them.
 
Try checking out some morman bridal shops, they have some modest things. Also, check out David’s Bridal, I got my dress there for a good price and it has 3/4 length sleeves, modest front and back and is gorgous. THey usually have good sales too. check out their website, the modest dresses are hard to find, but I know for a fact that there are at least 4 styles that are beautiful and modest. 2 are long sleeved, and the other 2 are short sleeved. They also have this jacket, (if you can call it that) it’s lace and looks very nice.
 
Depending on how it fits you I think your dress could be modest. Now, if you are personally not comfortable with it then that is another story. I have to ask, if you really think it is immodest, why did you choose it? Is someone making you feel like it is immodest?

I think you have enough to worry about right now. Try not to stress too much about this…if you can find a wrap or shawl or jacket then great. But if you can’t, (as long as you are’t a triple D bust, lol) then I think you will look both beautiful and modest in that dress.

But that is just my opinion.

Malia
 
Feanaro's Wife:
Depending on how it fits you I think your dress could be modest. Now, if you are personally not comfortable with it then that is another story. I have to ask, if you really think it is immodest, why did you choose it? Is someone making you feel like it is immodest?

I think you have enough to worry about right now. Try not to stress too much about this…if you can find a wrap or shawl or jacket then great. But if you can’t, (as long as you are’t a triple D bust, lol) then I think you will look both beautiful and modest in that dress.

But that is just my opinion.

Malia
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I don’t think the dress is immodest, even on me. There’s no sign of cleavage poking out Maybe I’m just a little prudish. I rarely even wear shorts these days unless it is just oppressively hot out. As far as the bust, well… :rolleyes: . For that reason, I don’t ever wear strapless or spaghetti strap tops.

I’m embarking on my first-ever complete sewing project to make myself a bolero jacket for the ceremony. I’ll feel fine at the reception without it, but I think I’d feel just a little irreverent in a strapless dress for the nuptial Mass. Plus it’s always cold in there anyway.

So far the jacket looks nice, but I haven’t started on the lining. I’m not sure it fits exactly right, but don’t they tend to bunch in places anyway? Maybe I’ll post a picture:).
 
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vluvski:
I don’t think the dress is immodest, even on me. There’s no sign of cleavage poking out Maybe I’m just a little prudish. I rarely even wear shorts these days unless it is just oppressively hot out. As far as the bust, well… :rolleyes: . For that reason, I don’t ever wear strapless or spaghetti strap tops.

I’m embarking on my first-ever complete sewing project to make myself a bolero jacket for the ceremony. I’ll feel fine at the reception without it, but I think I’d feel just a little irreverent in a strapless dress for the nuptial Mass. Plus it’s always cold in there anyway.

So far the jacket looks nice, but I haven’t started on the lining. I’m not sure it fits exactly right, but don’t they tend to bunch in places anyway? Maybe I’ll post a picture:).
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Awesome, I’d love to see how it turns out.
 
I think your jacket idea is a great one. I wore a strapless dress too, and I had a little satin wrap to go with it, and it was a pain in the butt. It was freezing in the reception hall (well…it was February) so I couldn’t not wear it but it kept slipping off my shoulders, or it was uneven, etc…in a lot of the wedding pictures, there’s the bride 👋 either fixing the wrap or hiking the dress up in the front (I had lost a couple stress lbs. right before the wedding-literally days before-which initially I was excited about until the dress kept sliding down in the front…yeah it was great :rolleyes: ) so yeah…anyway…🙂 awesome idea about the jacket. That’s a very classy look in my opinion. Post pictures for us!! I wanna see!! 😛
 
Here is the one I wore to my Senior prom (I’ve always loved shrugs/bolero jackets). This is what I meant by sheer.
 
Here’s the one I used for my wedding, mind you it was late July, in the Caribbean, but I didn’t want to go with my arms bare (my dress was halter). I was wearing a veil over my face, though you can’t really tell in the pic. Maybe other veils are thicker, but it would still be a pain keeping it on your shoulders. I took the jacket off for the reception.
 
I really like the jacket (the neckline it makes)!!!
I was trying to figure out the picture where you said it bunches… Where does it bunch?
Did you make the jacket? Its awesome! If you made it, where did the material come from? It matches so well!!! 👍

I’m all excited for you!!! :dancing:
 
That is a beautiful dress. I love the Jacket and your hair up. You will make a beautiful bride.
 
are you going to be wearing a veil?

I love you in all the pics…I think you look great without and with the jacket. I personally like your hair up with that dress.

Malia
 
You have beautiful long hair and if it was styled in long, loose (but thick) ringlets, it would look very demure and gorgeous and modest on your wedding day.

I like the neckline that the jacket creates, but the bunching in the back needs to be altered. If you aren’t sure you can do it yourself, take it to somewhere inexpensive to have it altered if you are definite about wearing it over your shoulders.

I really like lifeisbeautiful’s examples of a sheer jacket. Both are beautiful!
 
I went through the same thing when I was looking for my wedding gown (wedding just over 3 weeks ago). I found the greatest dress on ebay for 45.99 and 20 bucks for shipping!!! What a deal! I also had the same issue with the bridesmaid dresses as my 13 yo and my husbands 10 yo were the maid of honor and the jr. bridesmaid. What I ended up doing for the girls is buying a dress that I liked except for the spaghetti straps and cutting them off and putting on my own straps for them. It took all of an hour I think to do both dresses. You could do the same with some wedding satin and lace. Shouldn’t be too difficult. BTW…I thought the dress looked nice, but I did see what you meant about the bunchiness, but then, I sew a bit.
 
The jacket is adorable! I think you look great. I am not a fan of strapless due to bust issues too. I had an LDS bridesmaid so I made sure their dresses had sleeves.

I see what you mean about the jacket bunching in the back. Your veil will cover it but if you want to fix it PM me and I’ll give you some ideas for an easy fix. As far as modest goes that still is a judgement call. I think you look beautiful!
 
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