Welcome, TwoTurtles! What a wonderful question!
May I ask, what is the exact occasion you’re planning?
I’m sorry, I didn’t see what the occasion was or may have missed that.
**In general, I think of modesty as always choosing not to attract undue negative attention to oneself by clothing or outward appearance, but instead to keep in mind what is appropriate for the occasion. **
Do you recall that photo op several years ago when a number of very nice young ladies from a high school sports team showed up at the Bush White House on a hot summer day, many wearing nice dresses but also very basic, (almost flip flop) sandals?
The nearly- bare feet caused quite a split down the country. Some were on the side of the nearly bare foot look and others from the Old School were horrified!
Many asked “Where on earth were their mothers?”***:nun1:
Some asked, well, what if they showed up in the basketball/or soccer shorts and sneakers? Why would that not be appropriate?* I wondered where the White House Liaison was when she booked them to come.* Perhaps she assumed that footwear would not cause such a stir. She could have made some suggestions in advance. Compared to the way most young people were dressing at the time, I thought they looked lovely, despite the shoes. It was, after all, a hot day.
We live in a day when people seem not to care a whit what one wears; to Mass, to go shopping, to meet new people etc. Strangely, even the worst hoodlums seem to dress decently for their court appearances. People always seem to put their best foot forward at a job interview. What does that tell us? For whom are we dressing? What do our choices say about us? I think how we present ourselves speaks volumes about our inner selves.:angel1:
Some of the present generation will laugh when I tell them how young ladies used to take an extra shower, change clothes, re-do their makeup and dress up quite a bit just to go with their father to pick up someone from the airport. One might see a lady at the A & P (that’s a grocery store chain) sporting white gloves and a hat, and our brothers were expected to don a suit and tie for such an occasion. Certainly for Mass, we wore whatever was our best, appropriate church attire.
I think it is so refreshing when anyone even asks about modesty and appropriate dress, etc. In my humble opinion, I would say that what matters most are the following;
***What is the occasion and what will the activities include? ***
***Will we need to bring a change of clothes?
Where is the event? (Fox hunt in Virginia or a BBQ at Uncle Ted’s in Jersey?
What choices do I have?***
If it’s a beach party, well, there* are *going to be bathing suits, aren’t there? But even here, there are one- pieces and there are eensy weensie suits and bikinis.
There are swim trunks and there are those dreadful Speedos (that are fine for official swim team events but perhaps not so fine if our Great Aunt Pitty Patt is hosting a sea side brunch for us. We wouldn’t want her, or her friends, to faint would we? :frighten:
If I were a young lady at a beach or pool event, I might have a nice cover -up along and definitely a change of clothing and some towels.
**
Is there a dress code at the event?**
Is there a guest being honored? Who is it?*** (Aunt Pitty Pat’s favorite grand niece from a convent boarding school, The local Bishop, or royalty?
If I am deciding on the dress code, all of the above are good questions.
We ladies shouldn’t have to dress in floor length maxis, but neither should we wear tube tops and micro minis in public, and certainly not at Mass.
Find a nice medium.
We should stand out not for the flamboyant clothes on our backs or Heaven forbid, scary, Goth nails or black lipstick, but for our friendly spirits and consideration for others.
In general, dressing nicely for the occasion/event and choosing to “err” on the side of modesty versus being in any way flamboyant, should work best.
Outside of Halloween or slumber parties,I hope we can all think about how we present ourselves, (God’s beloved children,) in a way that causes ease, not distress or gossip.
It’s sad to see that many people choose to appear everywhere in clothing that, in another bygone era, were considered suitable only for cleaning out the garage.
*
Oh, I am wistful for the days when we did not judge the person BY their clothes, because no matter what we had on, there was a social contract and an understanding that most folks were doing their best to simply look nice.*
We did not judge a young fellow by his car
nor his lack of one. . Some of the nicest people :knight1:I have known have walked their way around university campuses, not sped around in fancy cars. Their aristocracy was of the mind, never in fancy vehicles or a flamboyant wardrobe.
My own father was so beautifully Lincoln-esque, a brilliant man from a midwestern farming family, whose later journalism career found him in the presence of presidents and military heroes. My mother knew a great man when she saw one, and she met him at the* beginning *of his career when he was struggling and quite humble in circumstances. She wasn’t about to let him get away.
It was often those in the most humble circumstances that always seemed so presentable. Most of us knew how to re-work a dress or jacket that was wearing out, and found creative ways to stretch our clothing allowance. But we did not purposely “dress down” until the 1970’s, when alas, the jeans came out for a decade and replaced the collegiate skirts and tailored look that, from time to time, seems to make a real comeback!
I hope this helps and appreciate the question very much!
Kathryn Ann:heaven:
soft pornography on billboards and tv take a toll on men and young children. Having to always tell our children to turn around or not watch that show is difficult. Then to have them walk outside and see it on a bus, or on the mall windows. I agree with you on the whole islam thing too, not only them but the amish too.
You can look beautiful but yet professional 
