Modesty garments and indecency garments and the couple?

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Like a catholic wife and like a catholic husband, thus like catholic couple what is your moral point of view and your practical choices in function of the different places with public, not at church (beach, restaurant, private swimming pool, public swimming pool, dancing parties, parties, cinema, at work…):

About the modesty garments of your wife? About the modesty garments of your husband?

About of indecency garments of your wife? About the indecency garments of your husband?

And in conclusion, about the modesty garments of your couple and about the indecency garments of your couple?

In general, are you [husband and wife] in the same line? Are you okay on the style of garments (the acception of notion of modesty and / or of indecency) that each member of couple wears at the public non religious places? Are there many different intellectual approaches (mentalities) within your couple? How do you find the balance between each point of view concerning the modesty garments and the indecency garments? Did you talk about this topic before the wedding, during your fiançaille?

Those questions are different dimensions: moral, social, cultural, philosophical, theological, educational, mental, spiritual…etc.
 
fpt said:
Like a catholic wife and like a catholic husband, thus like catholic couple what is your moral point of view and your practical choices in function of the different places with public, not at church (beach, restaurant, private swimming pool, public swimming pool, dancing parties, parties, cinema, at work…):

About the modesty garments of your wife? About the modesty garments of your husband?

About of indecency garments of your wife? About the indecency garments of your husband?

And in conclusion, about the modesty garments of your couple and about the indecency garments of your couple?

In general, are you [husband and wife] in the same line? Are you okay on the style of garments (the acception of notion of modesty and / or of indecency) that each member of couple wears at the public non religious places? Are there many different intellectual approaches (mentalities) within your couple? How do you find the balance between each point of view concerning the modesty garments and the indecency garments? Did you talk about this topic before the wedding, during your fiançaille?

Those questions are different dimensions: moral, social, cultural, philosophical, theological, educational, mental, spiritual…etc.
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???
 
fpt said:
Like a catholic wife and like a catholic husband, thus like catholic couple what is your moral point of view and your practical choices in function of the different places with public, not at church (beach, restaurant, private swimming pool, public swimming pool, dancing parties, parties, cinema, at work…):

About the modesty garments of your wife? About the modesty garments of your husband?

About of indecency garments of your wife? About the indecency garments of your husband?

And in conclusion, about the modesty garments of your couple and about the indecency garments of your couple?

In general, are you [husband and wife] in the same line? Are you okay on the style of garments (the acception of notion of modesty and / or of indecency) that each member of couple wears at the public non religious places? Are there many different intellectual approaches (mentalities) within your couple? How do you find the balance between each point of view concerning the modesty garments and the indecency garments? Did you talk about this topic before the wedding, during your fiançaille?

Those questions are different dimensions: moral, social, cultural, philosophical, theological, educational, mental, spiritual…etc.
Click to expand...
Looks like we have English as a second language. Welcome, and thank you for posting. I will try and translate (any errors are mine, not the OP’s)
As a catholic wife and a catholic husband, thus as a catholic couple, what is your moral point of view and practical choices in different places in the public. Not at church, but at the beach, going out to eat, private and public pools, clubs, parties, the movies, at work, etc…
What are the cloths your wife wears that are modest? Your husband?
What about the indecent garments of your wife? Your husband?
What about as a couple? Do you dress differently together?

In general, do you as a couple dress in a similar manner? Do you agree with your spouse on lines of modesty and indecency in public places that aren’t religious? Do you have different thoughts on modesty? How you balance each other’s views? Did you talk about it before the wedding, during pre-marriage counseling?
These questions have many different dimensions: Moral, social, cultural, philosophical, theological, educational, mental, spiritual…etc.

Again, any errors are mine. As I am unmarried and celibate, I’ll shut my trap now!
 
Some young women turn up to Mass looking like prostitutes or dressed up for a nightclub.

Is that what you are asking?
 
I think the OP is more or less wondering is we’ve found that we agree with our spouse on standards of modesty.

In my experience, my husband slightly is more tolerant of immodesty than I am, though we are both pretty modest by society’s standard. We had very little conversation about this during our engagement (fiancaille)
 
thistle said:
???
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Okay, the title of my first post should have been " modesty garments and decency garments versus immodesty garments and indecency garments, and the point of view of catholic couple ".

How do you practice the concept of modesty garments and the concept of decency garments within your couple, in the public places ?

Modesty garments versus immodesty garments ? Decency garments versus indecency garments?

In general:
As a catholic husband, how do you judge (define, evaluate) the modesty of garments of your wife? As a catholic husband, how do you judge (define, evaluate) the immodesty of garments of your wife?

As a catholic husband, how do you judge (define, evaluate) the decency of garments of your wife? As a catholic husband, how do you judge ((define, evaluate) the indecency of garments of your wife?

As a catholic wife, how do you judge (define, evaluate) the modesty of garments of your husband? As a catholic wife, how do you judge (define, evaluate) the immodesty of garments of your husband?

As a catholic wife, how do you judge (define, evaluate) the decency of garments of your husband? As a catholic wife, how do you judge (define, evaluate) the indecency of garments of your husband?

In the real life, what are your criteras in order to the choice to buy and to wear?

In general, are you [husband and wife] in the same line on the manner to appreciate the notion and to make a choice?

How do you find the balance between each point of view concerning the modesty of garments and the decency of garments? Did you talk about this topic before the wedding, during your fiançaille?

On this forum, there are threads about that, but no on the management of these notions within of catholic couple by a catholic couple; what husband wants or does not want, what wife wants and does not want: okay or not okay; to buy or not to buy; to wear or not to wear.
 
It might be helpful to explain what a “modesty garment” and an “indecency garment” is because we don’t use those terms.
 
Nelka said:
Some young women turn up to Mass looking like prostitutes or dressed up for a nightclub.

Is that what you are asking?
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And there are men of various ages showing up at Mass with inappropriate clothes, too- crude comments or images on their clothing or looking as though they were competing in a gangster rap-off.

Hey, I wonder what the record is for how many concurrent modesty threads on Catholic Answers is? I think this week might have set a record. We even had regular members resurrecting old threads on that topic…was there a contest and I didn’t know about it?
 
Allegra said:
It might be helpful to explain what a “modesty garment” and an “indecency garment” is because we don’t use those terms.
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I heard those phrases and immediately thought of those things Mormons wear under their clothes and over their underwear!
 
fpt said:
Okay, the title of my first post should have been " modesty of garments and decency of garments versus immodesty garments and indecency garments, and the point of view of catholic couple ".

How do you practice the concept of modesty of garments and the concept of decency of garments within your couple, in the public places ?

Modesty of garments (clothes) versus immodesty of garments (clothes) ? Decency garments versus indecency garments?

In general:
As a catholic husband, how do you judge (define, evaluate) the modesty of garments of your wife? As a catholic husband, how do you judge (define, evaluate) the immodesty of garments of your wife?

As a catholic husband, how do you judge (define, evaluate) the decency of garments of your wife? As a catholic husband, how do you judge (define, evaluate) the indecency of garments of your wife?

As a catholic wife, how do you judge (define, evaluate) the modesty of garments of your husband? As a catholic wife, how do you judge (define, evaluate) the immodesty of garments of your husband?

As a catholic wife, how do you judge (define, evaluate) the decency of garments of your husband? As a catholic wife, how do you judge (define, evaluate) the indecency of garments of your husband?

In the real life, what are your criteras in order to the choice to buy and to wear?

In general, are you [husband and wife] in the same line on the manner to appreciate the notion and to make a choice?

How do you find the balance between each point of view concerning the modesty of garments and the decency of garments? Did you talk about this topic before the wedding, during your fiançaille?

On this forum, there are threads about that, but no on the management of these notions within of catholic couple by a catholic couple; what husband wants or does not want, what wife wants and does not want: okay or not okay; to buy or not to buy; to wear or not to wear.
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For the husband:

What is the decency of garments of his wife? What is the indecency of garments of his wife?
What is the modesty of garments of his wife? What is the immodesty of garments of his wife?

What is the decency of garments for himself? What is the indecency of garments for himself?
What is the modesty of garments for himself? What is the immodesty of garments for himself?

For the wife:

What is the decency of garments of her husband? What is the indecency of garments of her husband?
What is the modesty of garments of her husband? What is the immodesty of garments of her husband?

What is the decency of garments for herself? What is the indecency of garments for herself?
What is the modesty of garments for herself? What is the immodesty of garments for herself?
 
The language barrier is in place here…

Are you asking if the wife is concerned about what her husband is wearing as far as it be considered modest or immodest and if so, what does she do about it?

Are you asking if the husband is concerned about what his wife is wearing as far as it be considered modest or immodest and if so, what does he do about it?

Are you asking if they have an agreement as to what should be worn at certain places? Such as what should be worn to the public pool or beach versus what should be worn at Mass?
 
Allegra said:
It might be helpful to explain what a “modesty garment” and an “indecency garment” is because we don’t use those terms.
Click to expand...
The decency of garments (clothes) and the modesty of garments (clothes) of wife via the point of view of husband
or
The indecency of garments (clothes) and the immodesty of garments (clothes) of wife via the point of view of husband;

The decency of garments (clothes) and the modesty of garments (clothes) of husband via the point of view of wife;
or
The indecency of garments (clothes) and the immodesty of garments (clothes) of husband via the point of view of wife;

Is it understandable?
 
LightBound said:
The language barrier is in place here…

Are you asking if the wife is concerned about what her husband is wearing as far as it be considered modest or immodest and if so, what does she do about it?

Are you asking if the husband is concerned about what his wife is wearing as far as it be considered modest or immodest and if so, what does he do about it?

Are you asking if they have an agreement as to what should be worn at certain places? Such as what should be worn to the public pool or beach versus what should be worn at Mass?
Click to expand...
yes, but my question was only about the public places not in link with the Holy Place (church for instance).
 
fpt said:
The decency of garments (clothes) and the modesty of garments (clothes) of wife via the point of view of husband
or
The indecency of garments (clothes) and the immodesty of garments (clothes) of wife via the point of view of husband;

The decency of garments (clothes) and the modesty of garments (clothes) of husband via the point of view of wife;
or
The indecency of garments (clothes) and the immodesty of garments (clothes) of husband via the point of view of wife;

Is it understandable?
Click to expand...
🤷 My spouse and I agree on what each other wears. By the time a Catholic couple get married, they should already know what the other partner wears and should have determined a long time ago if the person doesn’t conform to their personal definition of modesty and decency, they may have the wrong partner for marriage.
 
fpt said:
The decency of garments (clothes) and the modesty of garments (clothes) of wife via the point of view of husband
or
The indecency of garments (clothes) and the immodesty of garments (clothes) of wife via the point of view of husband;

The decency of garments (clothes) and the modesty of garments (clothes) of husband via the point of view of wife;
or
The indecency of garments (clothes) and the immodesty of garments (clothes) of husband via the point of view of wife;

Is it understandable?
Click to expand...
Not understandable.
 
thistle said:
Not understandable.
Click to expand...
Better or not better

The notion of what is decent / indecent or what is modest / immodest is it same between husband and wife, thus within couple?

In general, do you have the same intellectual approach, the same thought, the same type of standards?

How do you practice the concept of modesty of garments and the concept of decency of garments within your couple, in the public places ?

Te management of these notions within of catholic couple by a catholic couple; what husband wants or does not want to buy and to wear, what wife wants and does not want to buy or to wear: okay or not okay; to buy or not to buy; to wear or not to wear.

How do you find the balance between each point of view concerning the modesty of garments and the decency of garments?
 
My husband and I have the same standards, I think. For example, we both hate the trend of young girls (sometimes as young as 8) wearing shorts that literally hit right below their butt cheeks. We don’t like shirts or dresses that bear a lot of cleavage. I dress modestly, and my husband usually compliments me in that, saying he wishes more girls, especially those in his family, would dress like that.
 
fpt said:
Better or not better

The notion of what is decent / indecent or what is modest / immodest is it same between husband and wife, thus within couple?

In general, do you have the same intellectual approach, the same thought, the same type of standards?

How do you practice the concept of modesty of garments and the concept of decency of garments within your couple, in the public places ?

Te management of these notions within of catholic couple by a catholic couple; what husband wants or does not want to buy and to wear, what wife wants and does not want to buy or to wear: okay or not okay; to buy or not to buy; to wear or not to wear.

How do you find the balance between each point of view concerning the modesty of garments and the decency of garments?
Click to expand...
I think it’s important to marry someone who has a similar point of view when it comes to modesty. I would not be with a man if I had to defend what I wore. I once dated a man who thought I dressed too modestly. He told me he wanted me to wear sleeveless tops in public. I don’t think it’s wrong, but I choose to be a little more modest than I need to be, and this guy did not see value in that. My husband, on the other hand is supportive of my modest choices, and we both encourage each other in how we dress. We actually talk very little about this because I trust that he is dressing appropriately in public, and he trusts that I dress modestly in public.

I’ve seen problems in other couples, where a guy starts to date a woman who tends to dress immodestly. When they get married, he wants her to dress more modestly. But the woman wants to dress the same as she always has. In my culture, it’s not okay for a man to tell a woman how to dress. A woman dresses how she chooses, and the man accepts her style or moves on to someone else. A man telling a woman how to dress is considered controlling. I suppose this can happen in the reverse, where the woman tries to change how the man dresses. This is not good either.

In short, I believe it is very difficult to sustain a relationship when the couple does not have agreement when it comes to modesty.
 
For those still seeming to have trouble: modesty/decency garments=clothing that would be considedered modest, indecency garments=clothing that would be considered immodest/indecent.
Also, how does your spouse’s opinion on the matter affect what you wear and vice versa.

Now to address the OP, I have always dressed modestly even before I had an opinion about it. I don’t have a very beautiful body by society standards, so I’ve always kept it covered decently. Now that I have an opinion, I’m trying to dress even more modestly than before, wearing more skirts and wearing longer sleeved shirts as the weather permits. I’ve always worn higher neck lines and try my best not to show belly fat. In fact, I found the Vatican issued modesty guidelines back in 1928:

“…a dress cannot be called decent which is cut deeper than two fingers’ breadth under the pit of the throat, which does not cover the arms at least to the elbows, and scarcely reaches a bit beyond the knees. Furthermore, dresses of transparent material are improper.”

Short sleeves (not sleeveless) were also permitted as a temporary concession, with ecclesiastical approval, because of “impossible market conditions.”

As for my husband, he has always dressed modestly himself, wearing long pants and polo shirts most of the time. He wears more tee shirts now, but they are still tasteful.

And then as for our opinion as a couple, we both agree that our girls are not allowed to wear many of the things we see people wearing in public, like short shorts, mini skirts, tube tops, anything that shows off their belly, etc. Since my mother-in-law buys most of the clothes for our girls, we have softened our standards a tiny bit, less adament about skirts-only and allowing one-peice swimsuits instead of saying they need to be covered from neck to elbows to knees at all times.

I hope that gives you one perspective that you’re looking for! 🙂
 
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