Modesty in marriage

[littlequestion]

This subject is interesting. As an artist, I confront nude models regularly. I pray for all the people who cannot look upon another without feeling lustful or sinful. We have bombarded our children from early ages with such sexual images that we are growing whole generations of people who have never experienced a non-sexual appreciation of beauty or even an indifference to nudity.

Consider how artificial this sense of lust is (not that it is not a real problem, but that it is a man-created “artifice- ial” problem) for in one country the sight of a woman’s neck can be more shameful than the sight of her breasts and in another a woman must cover her face.

One thing I would say to the OP is that the sense of excitement that may be making you feel shy about nudity at home with your new husband is likely to wear off. Being comfortable will replace excitement over time, and there is nothing more beautiful and holy than that lovely warm feeling of leaning over to your beloved and being completely embraced under the covers on a cold winter night. Sex and lust take a far back seat to that wonderful Paradise of loving embrace that God has reserved for his children in Holy Matrimony.

If you fail to put each other ahead of small worries and habits and lose the fidelity of your marriage, it’s not the lusty sex you will miss.

 

[PrairieMom]

Would you like to provide an explanation for why women should strip down for doctors and midwives too? Perhaps you would be satisfied if I (or *all *women, for that matter) was naked while making my confession to the priest? After all, I’m spiritually opening up myself to him, and he is the doctor of my soul, is he not?

You’ve made your position abundantly clear, but when I requested the words of Popes or Saints, I should’ve specified that I was looking for the *Catholic *view.

My fiance isn’t marrying me so that he has his own personal pole dancer, he’s a little more Christ-like than that.

I know the OP has unsubscribed, but I feel the need the comment. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt compelled to do so.

My sense is that she’s looking for sin where none exists. Maybe it’s because I’m not “Catholic” enough, I don’t know, but nudity in marriage seems to be such a trivial matter. I am also difficulty visualizing lust in the context of marriage.

I get the feeling that the OP considers the marriage act, even within the context of marriage, as something potentially sinful. Going in with that attitude is setting yourself up for trouble. I’m not suggesting that there’s not the potential for sin within marriage, but sometimes you can make your own self-fullfilling prophecy.

And I’m sorry, I’m not being rude or anything, but if you think you can get through childbirth and potty training without a least a little nudity, well…

I’ve had babies with both doctors and midwives, and when the moment comes, you really don’t care who sees you in your birthday suit, you are focused at the task at hand. My biggest clothing concern was that someone take my pretty white socks off so they wouldn’t get dirty when my water broke. And you will eventually learn to breastfeed discretely, but at the beginning there’s nothing discrete about it. And you will occasionally have little naked bums running around as you scurry behind them with a diaper or a potty (I currently have two).

Modestly is important, but I don’t know if there’s anything inherently shameful or sinful about our bodies in their natural state. With Adam and Eve, it wasn’t the nudity that made them sin: it was their reaction to it that was the sin. Everything is context.

Thanks.

 

[John21652]

I know the OP has unsubscribed, but I feel the need the comment. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt compelled to do so.

My sense is that she’s looking for sin where none exists. Maybe it’s because I’m not “Catholic” enough, I don’t know, but nudity in marriage seems to be such a trivial matter. I am also difficulty visualizing lust in the context of marriage.

I get the feeling that the OP considers the marriage act, even within the context of marriage, as something potentially sinful. Going in with that attitude is setting yourself up for trouble. I’m not suggesting that there’s not the potential for sin within marriage, but sometimes you can make your own self-fullfilling prophecy.

And I’m sorry, I’m not being rude or anything, but if you think you can get through childbirth and potty training without a least a little nudity, well…

I’ve had babies with both doctors and midwives, and when the moment comes, you really don’t care who sees you in your birthday suit, you are focused at the task at hand. My biggest clothing concern was that someone take my pretty white socks off so they wouldn’t get dirty when my water broke. And you will eventually learn to breastfeed discretely, but at the beginning there’s nothing discrete about it. And you will occasionally have little naked bums running around as you scurry behind them with a diaper or a potty (I currently have two).

Modestly is important, but I don’t know if there’s anything inherently shameful or sinful about our bodies in their natural state. With Adam and Eve, it wasn’t the nudity that made them sin: it was their reaction to it that was the sin. Everything is context.

Thanks.

Really excellent post. Very down to Earth, insightful and telling it as it is and I wholeheartedly agree. When my wife was giving birth, she was in a hospital gown, which was in the way most of the time and gee, it is an unbeleivably vulnerable time, on so many levels. Spouses need to be totally comfortable and confident with each other.

 

[manualman]

Keep it civil folks. This IS tricy stuff when you consider what a screwed up culture we all live in.

YES, there can be sinful lust in marriage. There can also be an unhealthy attitude that sex is God’s little mistake that must unfortunately be tolerated for making babies. BOTH of those are sick approaches, but it is stupid for any posters here to try to diagnose where the OP might fall on the continuum between the two. Seriously, you’ve got far too little info to go on to make such a call.

A wife CAN feel used like a piece of meat by her husband if he brings unhealthy lustful attitudes. She is not his sex machine, she is his wife. He needs to remember that (trust me, us guys ARE pigs sometimes).

But it takes hard core determination to remain pure in this day and age and the devil LOVES to exploit that by trying to turn it into prudery (defined as ‘all sex is dirty’). In the case of the OP, I suggest erring on the side of hanging it out during the honeymoon and for a while afterwards. You have a lot of years of inhibitions to release. Also, make sure you have a nice frank talk with a trustworthy married lady before the wedding night for some tips. Without getting specific, I’ll just say: take it nice and slow and bring KY jelly. No rush, you wouldn’t be the first couple to take until the day AFTER the wedding to get consummated…

 

[lost_wanderer_1]

I know the OP has unsubscribed, but I feel the need the comment. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt compelled to do so.

My sense is that she’s looking for sin where none exists. Maybe it’s because I’m not “Catholic” enough, I don’t know, but nudity in marriage seems to be such a trivial matter. I am also difficulty visualizing lust in the context of marriage.

I get the feeling that the OP considers the marriage act, even within the context of marriage, as something potentially sinful. Going in with that attitude is setting yourself up for trouble. I’m not suggesting that there’s not the potential for sin within marriage, but sometimes you can make your own self-fullfilling prophecy.

And I’m sorry, I’m not being rude or anything, but if you think you can get through childbirth and potty training without a least a little nudity, well…

I’ve had babies with both doctors and midwives, and when the moment comes, you really don’t care who sees you in your birthday suit, you are focused at the task at hand. My biggest clothing concern was that someone take my pretty white socks off so they wouldn’t get dirty when my water broke. And you will eventually learn to breastfeed discretely, but at the beginning there’s nothing discrete about it. And you will occasionally have little naked bums running around as you scurry behind them with a diaper or a potty (I currently have two).

Modestly is important, but I don’t know if there’s anything inherently shameful or sinful about our bodies in their natural state. With Adam and Eve, it wasn’t the nudity that made them sin: it was their reaction to it that was the sin. Everything is context.

Thanks.

Nice post.