Modesty...

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OK. I have promised to myself and others I wouldn’t do this, and enough people hate me here as it is… but I cannot honestly leave it be without some closure…

So… what does ‘modesty’ mean to you? At the beach? In the summer? On the streets? In church?

I just spent 10 days on a Greek beach… and after the threads I started here I noticed more stuff than I usually do, European that I am…

I noticed the topless women - usually just minding their own business, just enjoying the beach, not trying to seduce anyone. The mother of two in the thong bikini, there with her husband and kids. The many many many obese grannies in bikinis. The 12 year old girls with budding breasts who perhaps should have considered wearing bikini tops this year but didn’t. A total of** 3** females in one-piece swimming suits - all extremely obese.

Last year I wouldn’t have noticed any of this.

Now I did, and I must say I don’t enjoy it. I, like the vast majority of European folk, just usually pay no attention to people on the beach.

This year, though, my husband and I even had a talk on beach modesty. In effect, he asked me why I didn’t wear a thong or went topless. 🤷 So many others did, after all.

I explained to him that there were people that found those sexually alluring, and it was thus inappropriate, and eventually, he agreed, though he didn’t quite understand. BTW, I did wear my black, simple, relatively ‘covering’ two-piece.

So… what exactly makes things modest/immodest in different situations?

In my language, there isn’t even a word for ‘modest’. I recently read a translated travel catalog for an Arab country, and it said that women should dress ‘modestly’ = no jewelry, fancy dresses or expensive clothes]. I was confused until I realized it was a translation from English with YOUR meaning of ‘modest’. A woman from around here, though, might have gone to the Arab country sporting a really cheap and simple thong topless swimsuit and thinking it ‘modest’. 🤷

There are so many different ways of interpreting that word - not showing off - not bragging - not exposing sexual parts - not exposing skin at all - etc.

There’s not being dressed in an overtly sexually alluring way - or being dressed in a socially unacceptable way - or being dressed in a way not acceptable for Church (in my country, that means not covering your shoulders, knees, and head). Then there’s the court - one may not legally attend if in slippers, shorts, etc. Slippers are not immoral or sinful, but they are inappropriate. There are so many different meanings and shades of ‘modesty’ that I really do wonder how you know what to wear for every occasion and how come you seem to call this ‘modesty’ every time.

To some, this may seem like provoking. It’s not. I’m just reminding myself and others how trivial and insignificant this is where I live, where people don’t even look at each other while swimming. I’m just also asking how it is where you live and how you cope with it. :o
 
The last time a thread like this ran around, I was of the opinion that bikinis are not always immodest. My husband agreed with me. Then we went to the beach, and he told me that he struggled with purity in seeing these scantily clad women, so I have changed my tune a little bit. That being said, I can’t say how he’d feel if he had grown up in a different culture. Just wanted to put that out there.
 
The last time a thread like this ran around, I was of the opinion that bikinis are not always immodest. My husband agreed with me. Then we went to the beach, and he told me that he struggled with purity in seeing these scantily clad women, so I have changed my tune a little bit. That being said, I can’t say how he’d feel if he had grown up in a different culture. Just wanted to put that out there.
Thank you. My husband grew up around bikinis, and now with all the thong-clad topless women out there, he doesn’t think it’s big deal if I dressed like that too. 🤷

I’m also just ‘putting it out there’ for information purposes, not even trying to argument anything.

Like maybe some people will have conversations with other people soon and they might say ‘But, you know, in Greece they…’ and there will be another dimension to the problem…
 
I think the word “modest” is what is being interpreted differently according to the language.

Modest can mean the opposite of vain or boastful.

Modest can also mean prudent, not showing parts that could tempt or allure some other person.

But, I am remembering an incident in Italy, a friend and I were sunbathing in a park, in one piece bathing suits, nothing too risque’ when we noticed 2 men ogling us very noticibly, we felt very uncomfortable that we had to leave.

I’ve been ogled in Italy a lot…so I am not sure that what’s been described is universally European. Perhaps I am wrong, I haven’t been to Italy for some years now.
 
OK. I live in Southern California. I don’t live in a beach community so it’s not like there are people walking around in bathing suits. But I am just a twenty minute drive from a beach so going to the beach has long been a part of local culture and more than a few people have in ground pools.

I am a female so I can’t pretend to speak for males but I have a thought on why men in some cultures “struggle with purity” and seem not to so much in other cultures. Men are welcome to add their thoughts but unless they regularly spend time in locations that have different cultures I’m not sure exactly what that opinion would prove.

I think men in some cultures don’t “struggle” with purity. But I think the difference is that in some cultures it wouldn’t occur to the men to struggle. They probably have many of the same reactions to attractive female bodies but it just doesn’t occur to them that there is anything wrong with what they are experiencing. It’s considered normal and so the men just enjoy the looking and then go back to whatever they were doing. It probably wouldn’t occur to such men that what they were doing was sinful. While I know that many men are uncomfortable when their wives or girlfriends are “exposed” I know that there are many others who like knowing that “their woman” is attracting the attention of the other men.

I’m not trying to say that this is OK. I’m just offering a perspective.
 
If the Blessed Mother said this about the world in 1920, can you image what She must be thinking in 2008.😦

Our Lady of Fatima: Additional Visions of Jacinta

Our Lady appeared to Jacinta several times between December 1919 and February 1920. Our Lady told her many things including:

"The sins of the world are very great … If men only knew what eternity is, they would do everything in their power to change their lives.”

"Fly from riches and luxury; love poverty and silence; have charity, even for bad people.”

"More souls go to Hell because of sins of the flesh than for any other reason.”

"Certain fashions will be introduced that will offend Our Lord very much.”

"The Mother of God wants more virgin souls bound by the vow of chastity.”

"Woe to women wanting in modesty.”

"Confession is a sacrament of mercy and we must confess with joy and trust.”

"Many marriages are not of God and do not please Our Lord.”

"Let men avoid greed, lies, envy, blasphemy, impurity.”

"Never speak ill of anyone. Never complain or murmur. Be very patient, for patience leads us to Heaven.”

"Our Lady can no longer uphold the arm of her Divine Son which will strike the world. If people amend their lives, Our Lord will even now save the world, but if they do not, punishment will come.”
 
Grateful Dad,
I believe the apparitions at Fatima were authentic, just like the Church decided. I practice some of the devotions directed by the Blessed Mother at Fatima, just as the Church has given me permission to do.

Blessed Jacinta is one saint dearest to my heart. Her personal story after the apparitions at Fatima are so moving. She’s a powerful intercessor for the graces of modesty. (her brother Francisco is a dear sweet soul. I cry every time I read about pastor excluding him from First Holy Communion with his classmates. what a gentle, humble boy.)

So I take this seriously:
"Certain fashions will be introduced that will offend Our Lord very much.”
if we aren’t already drowning in a deluge of those certain fashions, than I don’t know when we will be.

LitCrit, something’s continuing to bug you about this. In charity and peace I suggest, instead of looking outward for support for your position, look inward to the Holy Spirit who abides within you. Ask Him to guide you. Be ready to be guided. Ask Blessed Jacinta and the Most Blessed Mother to intercede for graces to **discern the virtue of modesty, while protecting you from the fault of judging others.

it’s only by grace that we learn the difference between discernment and judgment.
 
Not to take this too far off topic, but, I find it interesting that people assume the term “certain fashions” in these private revelations mean clothes.

I do not speak the original language, but, remember - when we English speakers read these revelaitons, we are reading a translation from the original.

Also, fashion references things other than style of clothing. It can mean customs or accepted ways of acting. This could be mean the fashion of making sports more important than Church activities will offend the Lord very much.

When we read these translations of the private revelaitons, we are practicing our own private interpretation of them.

That being said, to the OP, I think it is about what you are accustomed to. People who live in the areas you speak of most likely do not find bare breasts to be a flashing neon beacon of lust.

America does have a long tradition of “puritianism”, we were influneced at a deep cultural level by those ideas. So, here in the USA people will always see breasts or exposed skin as somehow naughty. We in the USA have to realize that and dress accordingly.

Sort of like in my neighborhood - we have deer EVERYWHERE, they as common as squirreles and can be very annoying and destructive to the residents.

We always know when there is a visitor in the neighborhood - they will stop dead in their tracks and gawk at the deer.
 
If I had the body to wear a bikini…you bet I’d wear one for sure 👍
 
I don’t want to judge or tell people what to wear, but I don’t like the topless fashion. Bikini is okay, but I don’t think topless is asexual. Looks like I’m not going to beaches.
 
Grateful Dad,
I believe the apparitions at Fatima were authentic, just like the Church decided. I practice some of the devotions directed by the Blessed Mother at Fatima, just as the Church has given me permission to do.

Blessed Jacinta is one saint dearest to my heart. Her personal story after the apparitions at Fatima are so moving. She’s a powerful intercessor for the graces of modesty. (her brother Francisco is a dear sweet soul. I cry every time I read about pastor excluding him from First Holy Communion with his classmates. what a gentle, humble boy.)

So I take this seriously:

if we aren’t already drowning in a deluge of those certain fashions, than I don’t know when we will be.
Monica,

I really believe guidance and warnings of Our Lady of Fatima and the children are an unbelievable gift to those who will listen. Even the those who do not believe fully, would be wise to ask themselves “Is this bad advise”?

Also if the Blessed Mother said this in 1920 could you even imagine what She is thinking about in 2008?😊

Kager,

Look at these other quotes too:

"The sins of the world are very great … If men only knew what eternity is, they would do everything in their power to change their lives.”

"Fly from riches and luxury; love poverty and silence; have charity, even for bad people.”

"More souls go to Hell because of sins of the flesh than for any other reason.”

"The Mother of God wants more virgin souls bound by the vow of chastity.”

"Woe to women wanting in modesty.”

I would submit that the word “Fashion” is possible to use with other current trends, but for the most part I think it does mainly refer to clothing, especially when you look at these other quotes.

As well the Blessed Mother could have said, "Certain trends will be introduced that will offend Our Lord very much.” If She wanted to make a broad statement she would have done so.
 
I am 17, and go to a Catholic high school. Our school does not allow bikinis on the swim team because of modesty issues. But I feel it is okay to wear them at the beach.
 
Monica,

I really believe guidance and warnings of Our Lady of Fatima and the children are an unbelievable gift to those who will listen. Even the those who do not believe fully, would be wise to ask themselves “Is this bad advise”?

Also if the Blessed Mother said this in 1920 could you even imagine what She is thinking about in 2008?😊

Kager,

Look at these other quotes too:

"The sins of the world are very great … If men only knew what eternity is, they would do everything in their power to change their lives.”

"Fly from riches and luxury; love poverty and silence; have charity, even for bad people.”

"More souls go to Hell because of sins of the flesh than for any other reason.”

"The Mother of God wants more virgin souls bound by the vow of chastity.”

"Woe to women wanting in modesty.”

I would submit that the word “Fashion” is possible to use with other current trends, but for the most part I think it does mainly refer to clothing, especially when you look at these other quotes.

As well the Blessed Mother could have said, "Certain trends will be introduced that will offend Our Lord very much.” If She wanted to make a broad statement she would have done so.
My point, all of your quotes are English translations of the original Portuguese.

Also these are PRIVATE REVELATIONS, they are not Scripture or dogma.

We read these translated words through century old eyes.

"The Mother of God wants more virgin souls bound by the vow of chastity.”

This could mean that there should be more women entering Religious life.

"Woe to women wanting in modesty.”

Modesty, that can mean the way someone acts, speaks, and it can mean not flaunting wealth, being humble, this quote speaks of riches…

"Fly from riches and luxury; love poverty and silence; have charity, even for bad people.”

We can each interpret it in different ways, we can agree that neither these private revelations nor scripture say “thou shalt not wear a bikini”.
 
Why would God want modesty at church and not at the beach or school or court house? I think many are trying to get away with what ever they can. Modesty is modesty and we need to face it. Why would someone oppose a one piece suit to a 2 piece? I can only think of one reason and that is to show off. A one piece is certainly cool enough in hot weather and will stay on better etc. etc… A two piece suits only advantage is that it shows more of what you want to show off.

Going topless offers nothing else but the same as a one piece suit. This is about pride of your bodies and not about convenience or comfort. This is only about your body and not wanting to hide it.

Lets just be honest with others and ourselves.

Sorry but i do believe this to be the truth.
 
kage-ar,

i don’t wish to be contentious, but a simple application of lex parsimoniae, the law of parsimony, AKA occam’s razor is in order.

"entities must not be multiplied beyond necessity" and it stands true here.

in fact, your suggestions only add deeper meaning to the warnings of the Blessed Mother. your suggestions don’t reduce them to unrecognizable.

also, Portuguese is translatable into English. it’s not extinct Phrygian.

now, one is free to disregard the messages as inauthentic (though the Church doesn’t.) but i think one isn’t free to play deconstructionism with interpretations.

i stand by my original suggestion to LitCrit to examine, with the help of the Holy Spirit and the intercession of Blessed Mother and Jacinta, her uneasiness with these issues (which she describes as unebbing curiosity.)
 
My point, all of your quotes are English translations of the original Portuguese.

Also these are PRIVATE REVELATIONS, they are not Scripture or dogma.

We read these translated words through century old eyes.

"The Mother of God wants more virgin souls bound by the vow of chastity.”

This could mean that there should be more women entering Religious life.

"Woe to women wanting in modesty.”

Modesty, that can mean the way someone acts, speaks, and it can mean not flaunting wealth, being humble, this quote speaks of riches…

"Fly from riches and luxury; love poverty and silence; have charity, even for bad people.”

We can each interpret it in different ways, we can agree that neither these private revelations nor scripture say “thou shalt not wear a bikini”.
It would be very interesting to hear this explanation in about 60 to 70 years and the response of those listening.:ouch:
 
Women going topless is not universally immodest. It is considered as such in the USA.

What is and is not modest varies from culture to culture, country to country and time to time.

Trying to force a universal ban on bikinis because of Fatima is a stretch.
 
I don’t want to judge or tell people what to wear, but I don’t like the topless fashion. Bikini is okay, but I don’t think topless is asexual. Looks like I’m not going to beaches.
Sheesh. If bikinis are ok, then why are some of us bothering to dress modestly? I sure would like to go strapless on certain warm days… :o
 
Sheesh. If bikinis are ok, then why are some of us bothering to dress modestly? I sure would like to go strapless on certain warm days… :o
Not to sound religious, but…

“Woe to the world for its stumbling blocks, but woe to him through whom they come…”

Yes, the world is like an aging man, decaying, getting ready to die, and in these last days, is becoming more and more perverse; but, we do not have to join in with them.

“In all this, they are surprised that you do not run with them into the same excesses of dissipation, and they malign you; but they will give account to Him who is ready to judge the living and the dead.” 1 Pet 4:4,5

“That ye may be blameless and harmless, the sons of God, without rebuke, in the midst of a crooked and perverse nation, among whom ye shine as lights in the world” Philippians 2:15

Just my two cents. Of course, this is all because you fear and love God; not because a human agency could force you:
“All this have I seen, and applied my heart unto every work that is done under the sun: there is a time wherein one man ruleth over another to his own hurt.” Ecclesiastes 8:9

God bless you!
 
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