Modesty

[GF_Girl]

I just wanted to be perfectly clear as to what the Catholic church says is modesty. I know some people will say that showing nothing erotic, but some people find feet or shoes erotic. Before a woman could not even show her ankles, yet a few weeks ago I saw a Nun in a habit that only reached to mid-thigh! I was shocked! I do not like to wear sleeveless tops and my skirts have to be knee-length, I like normal length shorts not to the knee but NOT short shorts (the horror!) But the one thing I do need are high heels, I have high arches and short Achilles tendons make walking in flats unbearable. And when I do, I simply walk on my tip toes to alleviate the pain. Is this considered modest?

 

[LightBound]

I just wanted to be perfectly clear as to what the Catholic church says is modesty. I know some people will say that showing nothing erotic, but some people find feet or shoes erotic. Before a woman could not even show her ankles, yet a few weeks ago I saw a Nun in a habit that only reached to mid-thigh! I was shocked! I do not like to wear sleeveless tops and my skirts have to be knee-length, I like normal length shorts not to the knee but NOT short shorts (the horror!) But the one thing I do need are high heels, I have high arches and short Achilles tendons make walking in flats unbearable. And when I do, I simply walk on my tip toes to alleviate the pain. Is this considered modest?

When I saw the thread title, I thought “here we go again…another modesty thread”, but actually, it’s a totally different take…so lets keep the focus on the young lady’s question of shoes and not derail this into another skirts vs pants debate. The poor moderators have been working overtime with all the fighting and trolling going on.

There is nothing immodest about wearing high heels. You have already stated you wear skirts that come to your knee and your shorts do, too, so it sounds like you dress in a classy and modest way. Just don’t make the fashion police go out on a call because you wore heels with bermuda shorts

 

[slotty]

Absolutely you can just look here

Now granted not everyone is Grace Kelly but she definately could pull off modest, attractive & heels

 

[UpUpAndAway]

Out of curiosity, when you say “high heels,” how high are you talking about?

I am in high heels quite frequently. The two people I am with most often, The Husband and my priest, are 5’11½" (182cm) and 6’2" (188cm) respectively. I am all of 5’0" (152cm). Next to them and without the heels I look like a pet, a child or a piece of furniture.

No one has ever told me my shoes are immodest or inappropriate, so high heels in and of themselves are probably not an issue. Styling also plays a part: all of my high heels are pumps, boots or slingbacks. I do have open-toed shoes and sandals but those are either much lower in profile (no more than 1½" [3.75cm]) or flat. The highest heels I own are 4" (10cm); any higher than that and I can’t walk normally. (I don’t wear the 4" heels to Mass I once wore them to Adoration—having come directly from a cocktail party—and actually emailed my priest afterwards to apologize for doing so. )

The clothes you wear with these shoes also matter, but from what you describe of your dressing habits I don’t personally see a problem.

 

[austenbosten]

When I saw the thread title, I thought “here we go again…another modesty thread”, but actually, it’s a totally different take…so lets keep the focus on the young lady’s question of shoes and not derail this into another skirts vs pants debate. The poor moderators have been working overtime with all the fighting and trolling going on.

There is nothing immodest about wearing high heels. You have already stated you wear skirts that come to your knee and your shorts do, too, so it sounds like you dress in a classy and modest way. Just don’t make the fashion police go out on a call because you wore heels with bermuda shorts

Bwahahaha! I immediately thought the same thing and was instantly getting ready to pop some popcorn

 

[Pug]

If walking with your foot flat can’t be done because it is painful, then by all means wear something that elevates your heel.

Have you considered if your condition is medical? You might want to find out if you need treatment now to prevent even more trouble with your feet and ankles and heels as you age. I know how easy I found it to accommodate myself to physical difficulty when I was young, but I wish I hadn’t. Eventually I was too old to make accommodations, but I still had a problem and it had become ingrained and difficult to fix.

 

[Deo_Gratias42]

If walking with your foot flat can’t be done because it is painful, then by all means wear something that elevates your heel.

Have you considered if your condition is medical? You might want to find out if you need treatment now to prevent even more trouble with your feet and ankles and heels as you age. I know how easy I found it to accommodate myself to physical difficulty when I was young, but I wish I hadn’t. Eventually I was too old to make accommodations, but I still had a problem and it had become ingrained and difficult to fix.

I would agree with this. I have the opposite on high arches. I have flat feet so walking in any type of shoe for long periods of time without custom orthotics causes all kinds of pain. Orthotics can also be made to elevate the heel to an appropriate height to relieve stress placed on the tendons and heel. A moderate high heel isn’t immodest in and of itself, but there are immodest high heels that change the way a woman walks. They lengthen the leg and lifts the rear in order to give the woman a “sexy” walk that draws attention to her swaying hips and backside for men to ogle. I’m serious.

High heels are absolutely not a solution to any type of foot pain, though. They do long term damage, especially cheap and poorly designed and constructed heels. Everything from hammer toe, shortened Achilles tendons, back pain, sprained ankles, bunions, etc are all results from long term high heel use. They should really only be worn in moderation. I would recommend talking to a doctor and getting a referral to a podiatrist, who specialize in feet. They will be able to help you out.

 

[losh14]

Thank you for being concerned about modesty. As the father of little girls, I find myself getting mad at women who dress immodestly - or that ever-present KAGOY trend in girls’ clothes that make 7-year-olds dress like 15-year-olds.

I just wanted to be perfectly clear as to what the Catholic church says is modesty. I know some people will say that showing nothing erotic, but some people find feet or shoes erotic.

You’re not responsible for other people’s paraphilias. I think on the issue of modesty, look to set reasonable limits - keep within your conscience obviously, stay back from what is commonly deemed inappropriate (since that can go anywhere nowadays), and keep yourself on the conservative side of what those around you would interpret your dress and actions.

Think on 1 Cor 8:13 - avoid doing what you’ll know will make others stumble. An example would be that, while I find nothing intrinsically immoral in drinking moderately, when we spend time with my friend who is a recovering alcoholic, I don’t order a drink.

Use reason, though. I used to work with a guy who had a nail fetish. He would stare at the hands of female coworkers in the lunchroom and make conversation about their manicures. He didn’t last long because of the creep factor, obviously, but you wouldn’t sin if you simply had your nails done unless unless you were trying to get his attention.

Likewise with shoes, unless you’re surrounded by guys who stare at your feet all the time, don’t worry about it. Wear what’s comfortable and - if you’re working - in line with your office dress code.

 

[MissRose73]

I used to be able to wear high heels constantly as a teen and into my 20’s but my feet paid dearly for it. I wore them all over the place: church, school, work. I rarely now wear them due to the pain they cause me. I would say a heel of a moderate height (no more than 3 or 4 inches) is ladylike & modest for both Church and the workplace. How women walk in heeled shoes over 4 inches high I will never know as I tried it once & injured myself.

 

[DebChris]

I likewise have high arches. However, I do not wear spiked heels because they throw off my balance. In the past, I have developed Achilles Tendonitis with complications in my calf muscles. It was when I was still a member of the Army Reserves and soldiers were required to run in combat boots. I have worn orthrotics in my shoes to provide needed arch support.
Wearing high heels on a continuous basis will contribute to more shortening of the Achilles Tendon. Try alternating heel height. Even better, spend some time each day being barefoot. There are also exercises you can do to help lengthen the Achilles Tendon. One exercise is standing is heel raises. Standing on a stair, allow your heels to drop below the level of the step and then stand on your toes. While waiting for a bus, you can stretch the Achilles tendon by putting your foot against the street curb, heel below the level of the curb.
Returning to the question of modesty, there is nothing immodest when it comes to moderately high heels. When I do wear heels, they are no higher than 2 inches, business height,
If you run, be sure to stretch afterward. BTW I am noticing at the moment that while I sit, my heels are elevated.

 

[animalis]

I thought losh14 gave a good message. May I also suggest reading this question on modesty by S. Thomas Aquinas. In 1970 the Vatican said to uphold him as one of the greatest teachers of the Church. newadvent.org/summa/3169.htm

 

[louisak]

Before a woman could not even show her ankles, yet a few weeks ago I saw a Nun in a habit that only reached to mid-thigh

Are you sure you don’t mean “mid-calf”? I have seen that a lot. If it really only came half-way down the upper leg, that is pretty incredible. That is really immodest for sure.

I would agree with others who say that you need to use foot-wear that is comfortable for you, but also get medical advice about how to treat your problems with your feet.

 

[austenbosten]

I just wanted to be perfectly clear as to what the Catholic church says is modesty. I know some people will say that showing nothing erotic, but some people find feet or shoes erotic. Before a woman could not even show her ankles, yet a few weeks ago I saw a Nun in a habit that only reached to mid-thigh! I was shocked! I do not like to wear sleeveless tops and my skirts have to be knee-length, I like normal length shorts not to the knee but NOT short shorts (the horror!) But the one thing I do need are high heels, I have high arches and short Achilles tendons make walking in flats unbearable. And when I do, I simply walk on my tip toes to alleviate the pain. Is this considered modest?

Sounds like you are already conscience about being modest. There is nothing wrong with wearing high heels. So if it alleviates the pain, go with the heels.