Mom Explodes Upon Hearing of Conversion

[Homebrew_roots]

yeah, so i didnt take the time to read the other replies so this may have already been said, but check the beatitudes out.

Blessed is he who is persecuted for the sake of rightousness, for his is the kingdom of heaven.

 

[Seeking33]

Thank you so much everyone for your comforting words and I know…prayers. I could feel your prayers even yesterday afternoon and through the evening…and today. I feel so encouraged and strengthened by your positive outlook. It helps to know so many understand…many more than I thought would!

Please, if you can, continue to pray for me. I actually picked up my rosary again last night and slept with it and my Bible after a good cry session with Jesus. I brought my rosary with me in my purse today. I’m hanging on and I won’t let go, by the grace of God. My hunger for the Truth is slowly returning. I love you guys!

Some questions that people asked were:

How old are your children?
I have twins - 8 and one - 9 all boys.

What about your father?
I haven’t heard from him on the issue. I’m sure my mom told him. I know he loves me, but he is very quiet and reserved and doesn’t say much about anything. He did buy a brand new set of tires for my car before I left to go home after Thanksgiving. (This was before Mom blow-up) He probably won’t say much to me about it. But, typically, he is seems to be not as critical about things as mom seems to be. I think mom runs the show.

BTW, before I left I had to run back by her house because my son forgot his “game” for his gameboy. I dropped him off at the front and let him go in and get it. When they came out, my mom came over to my side of the car and didn’t apologize, but said “I love you and even though we may not agree, we probably disagree about alot of things, I love you”. So that did help, but it didn’t take away all the sarcastic remarks that had been spoken and the fact that it caused me to doubt myself and my Faith.

What about Spanish Mass?

Well, I’ve thought about going, but I figure that most of them don’t speak English, and I was afraid the men may think I had alterior motives (looking for a husband). I’ve never been married, so I guess that makes me available in the Catholic world. I will continue to think about going, but I’m just hesitant, mostly because I’m afraid that single men may think I’m just there to look for a “man”. If I could be invisible and go…I’d go!

Thank you again everyone. I would love to hear more stories of the struggle if anyone has any.

 

[mercygate]

Seeking33:

I brought my rosary with me in my purse today. I’m hanging on and I won’t let go, by the grace of God. My hunger for the Truth is slowly returning. I love you guys!

Sometimes the most “prayer” you can muster is just to hold on to that rosary. It’s like holding your Mother’s hand.

When they came out, my mom came over to my side of the car and didn’t apologize, but said “I love you and even though we may not agree, we probably disagree about alot of things, I love you”. B’loved: some of us never got even that much from our moms. Build on it.

 

[Brenda_V]

Seeking33:

What about Spanish Mass?

Well, I’ve thought about going, but I figure that most of them don’t speak English, and I was afraid the men may think I had alterior motives (looking for a husband). I’ve never been married, so I guess that makes me available in the Catholic world. I will continue to think about going, but I’m just hesitant, mostly because I’m afraid that single men may think I’m just there to look for a “man”. If I could be invisible and go…I’d go!

Thank you again everyone. I would love to hear more stories of the struggle if anyone has any.

Seeking - don’t bet on those at the Spanish Mass not being able to speak English - most do, especially the younger ones. Also, I seriously doubt if the women or (especially) the men will think you are looking for a husband. If I thought that would work I would send my oldest to some of the more predominately Spanish speaking Parishes in town!

Prayers for you and your three boys. Do give the Spanish Mass a try if you want - I go to the Bi-lingual every so often (it was our main Mass time as a family for a little while there). Learned a fair amount of Spanish that way - at least I can pray in Spanish

Brenda V.

 

[Catholic_Heart]

Seeking33:

Well, I did it this weekend. Over Thanksgiving holiday while spending the weekend with my Mom and Dad, I revealed the horrible truth. I’m CATHOLIC

Needless to say, Mom was NOT too happy. We had an extemely heated discussion in which she fired ammunition at me in the form of questions like:

1. So, do you pray to saints now? 2. Do you have a Catholic Bible now? 3. Do you have a father now? 4. Do you pray to the pope ( )? 5. Do you do all those chants?

And a kind question of … What have you done? I felt like a 4 year old that just spilled a pitcher of koolaid on her newly mopped floor.

Then a nice comment at the end… I hope you call and let me and your Dad know when you decide to become Mormon so that we can counsel you. Very ugly! I said, Mom, I’m not going to be a mormon and she just scoffed at that remark! BTW, my parents are life-long Southern Baptists…through and through.

<A little background…I come from a traditional home, but in my late teens rebelled severely…had 3 children (twins and 1 a year older) outside of my race. My parents were so upset that they rejected me for years and wouldn’t see me. Even now, they are still ashamed and when I go home, there are no pictures of my children in their house and we don’t go out in public>

Even though I’m telling this story in a light way, I really am very hurt by it all. It has shaken my faith, truly. I’ve been having these thoughts of “I don’t want to be Catholic” and doubting myself and my decision. I know that’s weak, but I’ve just really been under social pressure since my decision. There has been no support from one human being except with acquaintences in the RCIA program. And I’ve been real discouraged being a single mom and trying to go get “doughnuts” after mass. All I see is huge, extended families acting so happy and I feel like I just blend into the wall. I feel as though I don’t fit in. Everyone is so caught up in their own families, that I feel like I stick out like a sore thumb. I’m not used to that. In protestant churches, people just seem more friendly and inviting. I’m just way out of my comfort zone…and feeling depressed about finding the Truth. Isn’t that just something? I went from elated about finding the truth, to now, I just don’t want to think about it anymore. I know it is the enemy that is making me feel this way, but I don’t know how to fight it. I will not abandon my faith, but the trials are very hard right now, and I’m just hurting. Can someone relate or offer any words of advice?

I am so sorry you have had this expeience with your family. Believe me, it is they who have lost, and are missing out.

I grew up in the Methodist church, and now most of my family is Evangelical Chruch of Christ…I fully understand the difference you feel…Fellowship is something Protestants, especially Evangelicals, do very well…They make you feel so loved and welcome…I know how hard it is for you to get used to the more reserved Catholic atmosphere…I’ve been there and done that!

Just hang in there for a while…I promise it will get better. If you can, join a small group…choir, Bible study, play group for the kids, prayer group…Anything to meet people in a more casual setting than Mass…

Evangelicals put a lot of “stock” in fellowiship, while Catholics tend to focus on the Mass…The actual worship experience. Our focus is on God…the Other…rather than on ourselves. It isn’t that we are not friendly, or that we don’t care, we are just focused on something else when we come to Mass…

Case in point…I attended a TLM not long ago…No one really spoke to me as I came in…The church was almost silent, as people prepared for Mass…No one chatted during Mass…But, afterward there was a “coffee” in the church basement…Plenty of fellowship going on there!

So…Give it time…You will meet people, and become a part of the “family”…If that doesn’t happen, find another parish…
The NO Mass can be the same way…People come into church, prepare for Mass, assist at Mass, then…if there is an opportunity to do so, they have “fellowship”…

 

[jrabs]

LSK:

You just march right on up to that donut table and put out your hand and say HELLO!!! How old are your kids? Can you get involved in the Moms group? Is there any Toddler times or St. Vincent de Paul Society or anything at all you can do there while you are in RCIA? Sometimes the best way is just to plunge right on in…and I think you are a very brave person.

.

This is great advice. Excellent.

I am a single parent, mov ed to a new parish and decided to do that very thing and jump right in. I was tired of feeling like an outcast at my old parish.

Every week, I attended coffee hour after mass. In the beginning, I sat alone with my boys. Then each week, I made the innitiative to meet a new family.

No one know what your needs are - so don’t expect people to come up to you - it just doesn’t happen that way.

After a very short time, I had made some good Catholic friends and only one year later, was elected to be on parish council by the congragation.

You can do this! You will find support if you ask God for help and start doing what He tells you to do. It may not always be easy.

 

[Orionthehunter]

Viki59:

Dear Seeking,
It is so hard to start attending a new church. I sympathize. That is good advice, to find some group in the church that you can attend and fellowship with. I joined the Respect Life committee and enjoy it a lot.
I was a single parent in an evangelical church for about 17 years. In the south it may be different, but in the Northwest I found that the warm welcome was mostly superficial. I hungered for friendship, but rarely found any. Finally I began attending a women’s Bible Study and wasn’t quite so lonely.
After being in a Catholic church for nine years, I can say that it takes those folks awhile to warm up, but the friendships you do make are solid ones.
I am not trying to put down protestant churches, this was just my experience.
I noticed an earlier post that mentioned your interest in Spanish masses – have you ever located one? I ask because hispanic people seem less uptight about race, and are more tolerant of young children at mass.
I’ll be praying for you. Don’t stop attending mass; you’ve just started on a great adventure, and what a wonderful gift for your children, to raise them in the faith.

Let me tell you a story.

At the start of 7th grade, my family moved to the state capitol (big city). My first “friends” were the gregarious boys who came up to me right away. But they tired of me and I was again the new kid without any friends. In several of my classes was another boy who was quiet. One day walking home he caught up to me and we began talking. From then on we were inseparable and walked to and from school every day. We even continued the tradition even after we started driving by walking to school the first and last days (usually bummed rides home as that tradition is only so only goes so far!) To this day, he is my best friend.

Keep your eyes and heart open. You will find your dearest friends in your parish. Trust me but more importantly trust Jesus. He’ll lead you to them or vice versa according to His time, not yours.

 

[IanS]

Seeking:

I understand where you are coming from. I am the youngest of four. My sister is the oldest and I have two older brothers.

I was raised in a secular home. My parents were Anglican but turned to atheism/agnosticism after my father had a fallout with the church. As a result none of us kids were baptized or ever stepped foot inside a church growing up.

I was the first to turn to Christ in our family along with my wife about nine years ago. When we announced that we were going through RCIA and would be baptized together in the Catholic Church we were treated like total idiots.

My father started spouting out insults about Jesus I can’t dare repeat in this forum. My sister told me she thought the Catholic Church was only for poor, uneducated (stupid) people, and filled them with nothing but fear and condemnation to control and suck money out of them. Everyone else just acted dumbfounded. Not exactly an ada-boy!

Since then my two brothers have “found Jesus” through protestant means. So this is what our family gatherings look like:

Father - atheist
Mother - ???
Sister/Husband - atheist
Brother/Wife - Church of Christ
Brother/Wife - Evangelical Lutheran
Myself/Wife - Roman Catholic

:bigyikes:

It’s enough to make you just want to hide in the basement with the kids. However, it has also caused my wife and me to learn Apologetics very early on. I suggest you do the same.

There is a series of booklets called "Beginning Apologetics” we started with and found very useful. There is also a series of six audio CD’s by Scott Hahn :bowdown: called “Answering Common Objections” that is awesome. I even gave a copy of it to my COC brother and it stopped a lot of the questions.

Stay strong, it’s totally worth it.

 

[katy]

I may have solved the problem of Catholic parishes being so cold socially by becoming part of a city parish with no school. It is much smaller than the humongo suburban parishes I went to before, where you are ignored unless you have an “in” somehow even tho I really tried. There are a few people who actually smile and say hello. I am also glad to support an old city church and help provide a continuing Catholic presence there.

 

[jc-servant]

Welcome to you, our new sister!

I’m a convert from Baptist also. My folks are a lapsed Catholic who is sort of generic protestant and a lapsed Methodist. Go figure. While I was in RCIA my biggest challenge was that the judge whose court I was assigned to as a prosecutor tried to “save” me from becoming Catholic and jumping on the express train to hell in his mind. As some others have noted, there are some great beginning apologetics books and pamphlets out there.

I felt Satan on the attack throughout RCIA most heavily but he still jumps out from behind blind corners occasionally. I prayed my rosary every night and asked the Blessed Mother to pray for me and to guide me closer to her son. She became my spiritual mother although as a protestant I had basically ignored her except at Christmas. Not one of us has a perfect human mother, but we can all borrow the mother of Christ as our own. He gave her to us to help us to grow closer to Him. I tell my protestant relatives exactly that and then ask them why they object to me asking for all the help that I can get in order to get to Heaven. I tell them that Mary and the other saints are closer to God in Heaven than the friends and neighbors who they ask to pray for them, so why shouldn’t I ask for their prayers. The argument usually tapers off somewhere after that.

I’m a single woman with no children, so I totally relate to that weird feeling you get when you see the extended families all worshiping together at Mass. I have been an RCIA sponsor every year which allows me to get to know a large number of candidates plus the repeat sponsors are old friends after several years. I’m blessed to be in a huge (almost 7,000 families) parish that is exceptionally friendly and active, but you can be the spark that gets your parish going. We started with under 30 families as a mission less than 20 years ago, so almost no one has a long history in the parish. We had a priest (who died last year) who would tell us to go for it whenever we found a new thing that required an organization or ministry. Perhaps you can solicit interest for starting a ministry for mothers or singles or whatever else might interest you and make some new friends in the process.

There are also some Catholic movements/ministries that can be brought to a parish that needs renewal almost like bringing a sorority to a new campus. We have Christ Renews His Parish that is a spiritual renewal process that starts with a retreat for up to 36 men or women every 6 months. We then spend 6 months in spiritual formation growing in faith and really getting to know each other at a deep level. At the end of formation the team puts on the retreat for the next group and then goes out to join or start ministries or to renew their family, etc. Our CRHP teams sometimes take on service projects later as a group or start small Bible studies, etc. Since more than 2000 people have been through the process at our parish it has made us a very vibrant and active parish.

I have also heard of something called Renew which other parishes around us have which I believe helps to foster a sense of community within a parish. If someone else can provide more info perhaps they will chime in. There are groups that are not based in one parish like the Young Serrans.

I don’t know if anyone suggested this, but if you are in or near an urban area then you might want to try the next closest parish and see if it is a better fit. I’m not big on shopping around for petty reasons, but sometimes a parish really is kind of messed up. I’m black, Irish and Native American, so I appreciate being in a parish that is racially diverse. We have people from every race and practically any country you can name where there are Catholics. I love it. No one would comment on your kids’ background here because we have families with every combination of race and ethnic backgrounds all mixed up and happy.

I will be praying for you as you continue on your faith journey. Feel free to email if you want to chat or just need some encouragement!

 

[SueKrum]

I was raised Cathloic in a very large family. my mom is blind and my dad had an eye condition known as “congenetol cathoracts” (not sure if Im spelling it right) anyway, his eye condition was heredetory and 6 out of 8 in my family have it (including myself) why am I telling you this? because my family was totally austrasized in our church and we felt totally alone. our neighborhood was very “la-ti-da” and people thought it was so disgusting for a bunch of blind people to “keep breeding”. we didn’t have a care since my folks couldn’t drive and we lived in Ohio. we walked to mass in the winder, even when it was snowing. did one person ever stop and offer help? never. after mass, no one would say hi to us except for the priest. we were poor and dressed funny and that’s all anyone ever saw. it was very sad and one of my sisters left the catholic faith because of it. So I know what it’s like to be all alone in mass. having people look at you like they don’t want you to notice them not looking at you or something like that. It’s a rough thing to get passed and I Hope you don’t go to a church like that one. when we moved to FL, the parish was a lot different, but sometimes, I still felt odd. everyone else seemed so normal and happy. familes were talking and having fun in the back of the church. it’s like my family was the only wierd, disfunctional one. I went on a retreat called “christ renews His parish” last year and on the retreat, women from the parish shared their faith journies. so many of them were like me. they felt all alone in mass or that their family was the only messed up one. I heard 30 different testamonies over the next three months of our spiritual growth formation together and all of the women felt the same way. “it wasn’t until I heard you guys share that I realized that no family is perfect. that everyone struggles.”
I know this story is not like your own, but my point is, don’t worry about everyine else seeming so happy in church. some people just hide their “wierdness” better than others. we all struggle. I aggree with everyone on here that it would be good for you to join a group. try and find a good bible study or a faith building group like. the retreat I did is offered in a lot of parishes and you should see if it’s at yours. the short name for it is “CRHP” people call it “chirp” It’s the best thing I ever did for my faith.
I will pray for your family. Living in florida, I am VERY familiar with southern baptests. it’s a tough row to how. I feel for you.