Mom will *NOT* abort Downs Syndrome Baby

[Doihavtasay]

I have a daughter with DS. There is a lot of good suport on-line for this mom. If she would like to talk with me about our life with our daughter, I would be HAPPY to talk to with her.
The biggest hurdle to over come is fear of the unknown. Her life will get back on track when her sweet little baby is here in her arms and they lock eyes. Nothing much else will matter and she will realize this baby is just like any other in all the ways that matter.
If she could talk with other parents, that really helps to get things in perspective.

And no… no more children after her. I am close to 50 and she was hard enough to keep ‘in’.

Kids with DS are a BLESSING. A huge blessing. Consider yourself smiled upon by the Lord if He chooses you for this honor. You will grow in grace beyond your wildest dreams…

 

[RichT]

Patrick2340:

I do have one question for other parents with DS children. Have you had more children since? And do any of those children have DS? Our daughter’s pediatrician told us that our chances of having another child with DS go up once we’ve had one. We’d like to have more children, but we’re concerned about the possibility of having more kids with DS. Thanks.

My wife and I had a perfectly healthy child after our DS baby. The chances go up to around 1 in 100 for a woman who has had a DS child. Still pretty minimal. Do a search on the web under Down Syndrome Risks and you will find quite a few charts explaining the risk factors based on age and whether or not you already have a child with DS.

 

[Doihavtasay]

The below was posted on Down-Syn, one of the biggest public DS boards out there -
Though many children with DS don’t have a long list of medical problems, it would be wise for those around this mom to be prepared to offer real and practical help! And not just for the first month either
If you want to save more babies from death, do something to help the families. The church has been out biggest stumbling block so far. Not only have they not been helpful, they have added to our work load by talking behind our backs and second guessing what we do out of ignorance.

When this was posted, most everyone disagreed with the ‘facts’ about marriages breaking up. We have all seen stats that say it’s no different then the general public. If you your marraige was in trouble before a child with special needs, it’s going to REALLY grown under the strain, that’s true. But it’s not the CAUSE. Big difference…

 Are We This Pro-Life?: Parenting Special-Needs Children

Sharon's prenatal ultrasound looked ominous. She knew others with similar

ultrasounds who had delivered perfectly normal children, but all indications were that her child had Down Syndrome. He was one of those infants who typically wind up in the trash, either aborted or abandoned. Because of their worldview, however, Sharon and Burt Kettinger chose tokeep the child.

B. J. was a month premature, with two heart defects. Vital functionsstopped three times in a twenty-four-hour period. He was hospitalized nearly five months. Surrounded by specialists, the parents soon found life very exhausting. Complicating it further were insurance challenges. A doctor belittled Sharon, saying she had acted "very irresponsibly" in bringing one "like him" into the world.

 

B. J. couldn't walk until age 3. At age 15, he still has trouble with speech. Yet when anyone says "Down Syndrome child," his parents Burt and Sharon respond, "He is first a child, who happens to have Down Syndrome."Four out of five marriages in this situation, break up under the strain. When a father sees the long-term commitment required, he often abandons the mother at the time she needs help most.

 

The Kettingers stayed together, but a "special needs child" needs supplemental help. Church friends arranged transportation for Sharon's fifty-eight-mile daily round trip to the hospital. Neighbors helped with laundry, vacuuming, and meals. A nurse watched B. J. so Sharon could attend church.

 

[Doihavtasay]

And the exhaustion in part destroys the families, so parents critically need relief. Parents need time away from their child so they can focus on their relationship. Friends have stayed with B. J., once for twelve days. One church provides a regular respite evening for children, including some 40- or 50-year-olds.

To make it all work Burt stresses the need for volunteer training,spiritual responsibility, and patience, and familiar with C.P.R. Sign language can be helpful, and a hundred details need to be in place. It demands that the Church be the Church.

Burt says, “God isn’t looking for experts, but those who are willing and not afraid to learn.” Kids with special needs will respond more slowly, but their emotions are intact. Praise and humor go a long way.

B. J. is a Big Job, but he’s also a Big Joy. Burt observes, “B. J. can make almost anyone smile. He has unending empathy for others. . . . In terms of heart and spirit, he outdoes us.” When he earned AWANA’s Timothy Award, another child exclaimed, “Wow, he’s pretty smart for being retarded!”

What does it mean to be pro-life? Just signing petitions and affirming an abstract concept? Or responding to needs when you meet a couple who followed their pro-life convictions by giving birth to a “special needs child” they could have aborted?

We salute the Kettingers and others who have ignored the “pro-choice” rhetoric and made the difficult, courageous choice – giving birth to a child they knew would have “special needs.” And three cheers for all the volunteers who have helped out over the years. Parents like this need ahand – not just in applause, but in lifting the extra burden.

Burt summarizes, “It’s one thing to sing, ‘Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord,’ but another to be the one coming in God’s stead.”

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[Fortiterinre]

Someone I know was in the same position, thought she was pregnant with a severely handicapped baby and was being encouraged to abort. Turns out the baby is 6 lb and totally healthy! Very good news!

 

[djrakowski]

siamesecat:

Many Down Syndrome and autistic people can live productive lives. But it’s not a guarentee. While its wonderful that many of you would adopt a child like this, I still think that many would not get adopted. Autism is not diagnosed before birth, in the case I know of it was discovered when he was 2. But its still a mental disabliity and if it was diagnosed prior to birth Im sure many people would terminate pregnancy as with down syndrome. Im not telling anyone to abort a special needs child…its wonderful if they feel they can make that sacrifice. Im just saying, it is understandable why some people choose this option.

No, it is not understandable at all how anyone could feel this way about children with disabilities. My wife and I have two children with autism, and I can’t fathom that they have to navigate a society in which so many people feel as you apparently do about them. Maybe that explains why getting people to understand what we deal with every day has been so difficult.

You can’t imagine how infinitely blessed we are by all of our children, but especially by the two with autism. They have taught us how self-centered we were before we had them, and have drawn us closer to God. I wouldn’t have chosen to have children with disabilities, but now that they’re here, I couldn’t imagine it any other way.

 

[PRoach]

siamesecat:

Many Down Syndrome and autistic people can live productive lives. But it’s not a guarentee. While its wonderful that many of you would adopt a child like this, I still think that many would not get adopted. Autism is not diagnosed before birth, in the case I know of it was discovered when he was 2. But its still a mental disabliity and if it was diagnosed prior to birth Im sure many people would terminate pregnancy as with down syndrome. Im not telling anyone to abort a special needs child…its wonderful if they feel they can make that sacrifice. Im just saying, it is understandable why some people choose this option.

Does this mean we should just kill them? Because that’s what abortion is - a killing. Do these “difficult to manage” individuals not deserve to even be alive if they stress their parents to a great degree? I don’t see your logic.

 

[khkhk]

Just a little story on Down Syndrome. My mom a while back was going to have a baby, and the doc did some tests to look for Down Syndrome etc…and he came back saying he thought it was a Down Syndrome baby…well, she had the baby, and it turned out to be just fine no Down Syndrome or anything. That baby was me. I was doing so well, I went home after 23 hours being born! So people can’t always go by those tests either. They just have to pray for the best.