E
ElizabethAnne
Guest
Hello all,
My mother is engaged to a man who is a deacon in the Assembly of God Church and plans to marry him in April. She told me this weekend that she has promised him that she will attend services with him every Sunday after their wedding and will no longer attend Mass.
As background, my parents were divorced four years ago. My father left, and my mother was very hurt and lonely. She reverted to Catholicism and began attending Sunday Mass. The first several years were very difficult. She dated several men who did not treat her well. As her daughter, I took on too much.
Independent of this, I became active with a Catholic community in college, went through RCIA and married a Catholic man two years after graduation.
My mom began to piece her life back together and at around the same time began dating her fiance. I met him after they had been dating for seven months, and they were engaged the following day. They planned to have the wedding only eight months later. I was surprised by all of this and told my mom so at the time.
My husband and I invited her fiance to our home for Thanksgiving. We also spent time with him at Christmas, but we have not really gotten to know him, partly because he is very shy. At Christmas, my mom told me that she has started going to services at her fiance’s church every other Sunday and missing Mass entirely. She knows that the Church teaches that this is wrong, she knows I agree with the Church and she does not believe she is doing anything wrong.
My mom also has difficulty with other teaching as a result of poor catechesis. I have tried to answer some of her questions and give her more information. She has not taken advantage of any of the reading materials I have given her. She describes herself as “ecumenical.”
This weekend my husband and I attended my mom’s fiance’s church in order to try and get to know him better. Afterward my mom told me that she is planning to leave the Church after her wedding. Interestingly, she also seems to be getting a dispensation to get married in a non-Catholic church and claims she will not leave her “cathlicity” behind.
I told her that the situation is very difficult for me because her wedding also marks the day of her exit from the Church. She knows that I follow Church teaching and believe very strongly that it is the one, true church. During our conversation, she asked me if I would attend her wedding in light of the new information. I told her that I didn’t know, that I needed to pray about it and seek advice. She was, understandably, very hurt and angry. She said she has no reason to go back on the promise she made to her fiance to attend his church every Sunday. I said that the problem is with leaving the Catholic Church, not attending his services.
I am obviously in the middle of a very difficult situation and will continue to discern what I should do. I would appreciate any advice anyone may have on the subject, especially about whether or not I should attend my mother’s wedding if nothing changes. Does the Church teach anything definitively on this matter? Also, any prayers are very much appreciated.
Thank you and God bless.
My mother is engaged to a man who is a deacon in the Assembly of God Church and plans to marry him in April. She told me this weekend that she has promised him that she will attend services with him every Sunday after their wedding and will no longer attend Mass.
As background, my parents were divorced four years ago. My father left, and my mother was very hurt and lonely. She reverted to Catholicism and began attending Sunday Mass. The first several years were very difficult. She dated several men who did not treat her well. As her daughter, I took on too much.
Independent of this, I became active with a Catholic community in college, went through RCIA and married a Catholic man two years after graduation.
My mom began to piece her life back together and at around the same time began dating her fiance. I met him after they had been dating for seven months, and they were engaged the following day. They planned to have the wedding only eight months later. I was surprised by all of this and told my mom so at the time.
My husband and I invited her fiance to our home for Thanksgiving. We also spent time with him at Christmas, but we have not really gotten to know him, partly because he is very shy. At Christmas, my mom told me that she has started going to services at her fiance’s church every other Sunday and missing Mass entirely. She knows that the Church teaches that this is wrong, she knows I agree with the Church and she does not believe she is doing anything wrong.
My mom also has difficulty with other teaching as a result of poor catechesis. I have tried to answer some of her questions and give her more information. She has not taken advantage of any of the reading materials I have given her. She describes herself as “ecumenical.”
This weekend my husband and I attended my mom’s fiance’s church in order to try and get to know him better. Afterward my mom told me that she is planning to leave the Church after her wedding. Interestingly, she also seems to be getting a dispensation to get married in a non-Catholic church and claims she will not leave her “cathlicity” behind.
I told her that the situation is very difficult for me because her wedding also marks the day of her exit from the Church. She knows that I follow Church teaching and believe very strongly that it is the one, true church. During our conversation, she asked me if I would attend her wedding in light of the new information. I told her that I didn’t know, that I needed to pray about it and seek advice. She was, understandably, very hurt and angry. She said she has no reason to go back on the promise she made to her fiance to attend his church every Sunday. I said that the problem is with leaving the Catholic Church, not attending his services.
I am obviously in the middle of a very difficult situation and will continue to discern what I should do. I would appreciate any advice anyone may have on the subject, especially about whether or not I should attend my mother’s wedding if nothing changes. Does the Church teach anything definitively on this matter? Also, any prayers are very much appreciated.
Thank you and God bless.
Why is she seeking to get an dispensation to marry in an non-Catholic Church, if she is leaving the Catholic Chruch?