Moral Conundrum: Gay Adoption

[Rachel_J]

It has been suggested that it is a grave moral sin for homosexuals to adopt. Why so?

Homosexuality is a sin. Gay marriage does not exist in the Lords church. That does not make this adoption a sin - it makes the parents sinners. I can not think of one parent that I have met that is not without sin - sexual sins are certainly not unusual. The west has a 50% divorce rate and this is also a defilement of the sacrament of marriage.

It sounds to me as though this child has a chance at a better life with these men than she would have otherwise. They have bought her into her into their home and promised to love and care for her. That is not a sin. We now need to pray that someone interacts closely with this family unit who has sound knowledge of our Lord and can set an example before them.

 

[Caesar517]

Not only is gay sex a grave moral sin, it is also a crime against the natural order in a way that surpasses any sexual sins that a married couple can commit.

When a gay couple decides to live together, they are blatantly rejecting God’s will by choosing a lifestyle of grave sin. That’s not the same as a married couple commiting the occasional sexual sin (which the child would not know about anyway).

It’s not just about the sins of the “parents”. It’s also about a child’s development, growing up with two of the same gendered “parent” and thinking that it’s ok.

 

[thomfra]

She will grow up happy and healthy and I am sure Jesus will be pleased that it has worked out so well for her.

But there is the chance that small minded people will try to make her life difficult because she has gay parents. That is always a concern.

 

[Rachel_J]

When a gay couple decides to live together, they are blatantly rejecting God’s will by choosing a lifestyle of grave sin. That’s not the same as a married couple commiting the occasional sexual sin (which the child would not know about anyway).

It’s not just about the sins of the “parents”. It’s also about a child’s development, growing up with two of the same gendered “parent” and thinking that it’s ok.

How is this different to one parent having a previous marriage which ended in divorce? This couple would also be blatently rejecting Gods will by choosing a lifestyle of grave sin - a sin which the child would know about and would grow up believing it is okay.

Ignoring the sexual aspect, could not the same be said for any sin? Be it lying, drunkenness, refusal to accept the truth of the church… these are all sins which can be mortal to the soul. They all also impact a childs knowledge and belief about what is ok.

 

[Publisher]

Once again: That’s irrelevant compared to a person’s soul. To intentionally place someone in a situation where their role models have a romantic relationship with sin does more damage to a person’s soul than could ever be done to their bodies.

Yes, very relevant…I don’t live in a world where such distinctions can be made. I live in this world. The next world will take care of itself. The spiritual welfare of this child is in God’s hands both in this world and in the next.

It’s interesting that is only “irrelevant” when it doesn’t support one’s “black and white” next world theology…but this world we live in is not “black and white”.

 

[Publisher]

I wonder where the “righteous” were in the two years previous to these two men adopting this young girl? She is a “cast aside” of straight society…and who better to begin to understand her pain than two other “cast asides” by the conservative religious community?

No one of “sound moral character” stepped up to the plate to adopt a child abandoned by it’s “natural” parents…no one of “sound moral character” wanted a “deformed, retarted cripple”…just these two men who offered her a life full of joy, love and compassion. She is enrolled in a special school to augment her development and has the best of medical care.

These two men would face the fires of hell for this young girl…their “souls” aren’t that much of a payment…at least in their eyes to be “Jesus” for this child when no one else would. They are more than willing to “embrace” all that the “righteous” can throw at them and form a shield of love around a child no one wanted…but them.

 

[LJN21]

I wonder where the “righteous” were in the two years previous to these two men adopting this young girl? She is a “cast aside” of straight society…and who better to begin to understand her pain than two other “cast asides” by the conservative religious community?

No one of “sound moral character” stepped up to the plate to adopt a child abandoned by it’s “natural” parents…no one of “sound moral character” wanted a “deformed, retarted cripple”…just these two men who offered her a life full of joy, love and compassion. She is enrolled in a special school to augment her development and has the best of medical care.

These two men would face the fires of hell for this young girl…their “souls” aren’t that much of a payment…at least in their eyes to be “Jesus” for this child when no one else would. They are more than willing to “embrace” all that the “righteous” can throw at them and form a shield of love around a child no one wanted…but them.

Its next to impossible for a white family to adopt a black child. Its not a question of “were are the righteous” as much as why is there so much red tape.

 

[Publisher]

Its next to impossible for a white family to adopt a black child. Its not a question of “were are the righteous” as much as why is there so much red tape.

This isn’t an African American chld…she is very Caucasian…just not “pretty” by most peoples standards…she was cast aside by her birth parents and passed over time and time again by “white” prospective parents…no one wanted her…her beauty however is reflected in the eyes of her two dads that love her…the sun rises and sets in her you’d think.

 

[Publisher]

I am acquainted with several gay parenting couples…both men and women…who take the responsibility of “unwanted” children…they find it much easier to adopt a child no one else wants…they have found that ‘pretty’ children…healthy children are the first to be adopted…while the “unwanted” ones are instituionalized…at least until God send them a set of gay parents. Some of these couples feel God has called them to provide homes for them. Two women I have met at the ECUSA have three such children…all young ages…but these children are loved…they are “cast asides” from the “straight world”…but have found a true and loving family with these two women.

I know it is easier to deny that this takes place and claim “damage” to their young minds in seeing two same sex parents make a life together…establishing a family where the “unwanted” becomes the wanted and loved…

One couple of men I know have adopted two brothers…one 12 and one 8…these children are of “mixed” race…and the younger child is autistic…but they didn’t want to separate the brothers…no one else wanted the autistic child…only the “healthy” brother…and he became such a “terror” to his prospective straight “parents” they brought him back as he didn’t want to be away from his brother…that’s not a problem any longer…he’s with his dads and his brother…and is doing very well.

The men are professionals…one an attorney the other a social worker.

 

[LJN21]

This isn’t an African American chld…she is very Caucasian…just not “pretty” by most peoples standards…she was cast aside by her birth parents and passed over time and time again by “white” prospective parents…no one wanted her…her beauty however is reflected in the eyes of her two dads that love her…the sun rises and sets in her you’d think.

Ah, my mistake thought we were still talking about the OP

A Mother and Farther are ideal, naturally thats now its supposed to work. In real life **** happens, and it doesn’t always work out that way. I have no doubt of the care and love these men have for her and in a way I’m sure God does have a plan for them. I think there is a fine line when dealing with these situations. We must love our neighbor, and in these cases beating them up and “casting them out” is not helpful for them spiritually. That doesn’t mean we are accepting of their (or anyone else’s) immoral lifestyle or agree with it, but we love them and pray for them and support them in ways we can.

Its easy to post how things are supposed to be, the childs “rights”, the impacted on the childs immortal soul, all of which may be true. When it happens in your community you have to take a much more delicate loving approach or you just ostracize them and thats not going to convert anyones heart to God.

 

[Caesar517]

How is this different to one parent having a previous marriage which ended in divorce? This couple would also be blatently rejecting Gods will by choosing a lifestyle of grave sin - a sin which the child would know about and would grow up believing it is okay.

Ignoring the sexual aspect, could not the same be said for any sin? Be it lying, drunkenness, refusal to accept the truth of the church… these are all sins which can be mortal to the soul. They all also impact a childs knowledge and belief about what is ok.

A divorce is a single instance of sin – not a lifestyle embracing it. The other sins you listed do not voiolate natural law.

 

[Caesar517]

Yes, very relevant…I don’t live in a world where such distinctions can be made. I live in this world. The next world will take care of itself. The spiritual welfare of this child is in God’s hands both in this world and in the next.

It’s interesting that is only “irrelevant” when it doesn’t support one’s “black and white” next world theology…but this world we live in is not “black and white”.

As a Catholic, I believe the entire purpose of this life is to prepare us for the next. I’m not well-versed enough in Quaker theology to speak for you, however.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

Here is a real life dilemma:

I have two friends, gay men who are married (we all live in Massachusetts). My two friends have adopted a baby. Clearly, on several levels, the church teaches that this is wrong: non-celibate homosexuality is wrong, gay marriage is wrong, gay adoption is wrong.

However: the baby that they adopted had been abandoned by the mother. The baby was born with both cocaine and alcohol in her system. The mother had already given birth to, and lost custody of, three children prior to this one. The little girl–she is black–would almost certainly have been relegated to state foster care, or been turned over to relatives who lived in the same poverty, despair, and addiction that the mother did.

There is always the chance that something would have worked out for this little girl had my friends not adopted her, but the statistics for children who are born into her circumstances are not encouraging. What’s almost certain is that my friends will love, cherish, support, and raise this beautiful little girl, and will provide her with a life that she would have otherwise almost certainly been denied. Both of these guys are college educated, have good jobs, and live in a town with an excellent school system. And…they just love this little girl to pieces. They saved her life, in my opinion.

So here is the dilemma: according to church teachings, my friends are doing something that is a grave moral evil: they are non-celibate gays who have both married and adopted. And yet…they are taking a child who almost certainly would have lived a life of misery, deprivation, and poverty and giving her a wonderful, love-filled life.

I’m conflicted. What is the moral alternative to this adoption? What’s more important, the life of this little girl, or the church’s adamant stance that gay adoption is a moral evil?

I find it hard to reconcile the church’s teaching on this issue with the observable phenomena of this little girl thriving in her new home. She has something she did not have at the beginning of her life: a chance.

I’m conflicted.

First you keep speaking of the “fact” that they are Married. In reality they cannot be Married, they may be in some kind of a legal union that the civil authority calls “marriage”, but they are not Married.

Second moving a child from one bad situation into another in my opinion does not help the child.

 

[Caesar517]

I I know it is easier to deny that this takes place and claim “damage” to their young minds in seeing two same sex parents make a life together…establishing a family where the “unwanted” becomes the wanted and loved…

I think it may be better for the child’s soul if they were not apopted, then. Between the choice of gay adoption or no adoption, here’s how I see it:

Being adopted by a gay couple: good for the physical body, bad for the soul.

Not being adopted: bad for the physical body, less damaging to the soul.

I believe the soul is infinitely more important than the body.

 

[Chaldean_Rite]

Gay Adoption is violence to children.

 

[thomfra]

Gay Adoption is violence to children.

Now I have heard everything.

 

[fix]

Fix, we’ll have to agree to disagree. I’ll leave it at that. I’ve already grown tired of the argument that ***I ***started.

Yes, we disagree.

Placing a child in such a situation is contrary to justice and charity.

 

[Publisher]

I think it may be better for the child’s soul if they were not apopted, then. Between the choice of gay adoption or no adoption, here’s how I see it:

Being adopted by a gay couple: good for the physical body, bad for the soul.

Not being adopted: bad for the physical body, less damaging to the soul.

I believe the soul is infinitely more important than the body.

Thankfully it is not and will not be your decision, in this life or the world to come. This child is in God’s care as are the child’s parents…parents that love and care for her when her “natural” straight parents abandoned her. She was on the adoption lists for two years and not one Catholic with a “fully formed moral conscience” took her as their child…only these two “morally deficient” men who fell in love with her. Thank God for those who live in the Light according to “not fully formed” Quaker conscience.

 

[fix]

It has been suggested that it is a grave moral sin for homosexuals to adopt. Why so?

Homosexuality is a sin. Gay marriage does not exist in the Lords church. That does not make this adoption a sin - it makes the parents sinners. I can not think of one parent that I have met that is not without sin - sexual sins are certainly not unusual. The west has a 50% divorce rate and this is also a defilement of the sacrament of marriage.

It sounds to me as though this child has a chance at a better life with these men than she would have otherwise. They have bought her into her into their home and promised to love and care for her. That is not a sin. We now need to pray that someone interacts closely with this family unit who has sound knowledge of our Lord and can set an example before them.

It is stated that it is moral violence to place a child in such a situation. What is distressing is that this is even an issue. We have fallen so far we do not even recognize disturbing situations when they are so apparent.

Placing children in an environment where two same sex persons behave as an authentic mother and father is to violate the child’s rights. Children are not experiments.

I ask again, which other types of arrangements are acceptable to place children in? Is it simply a matter of material comfort?

 

[Michaeljc4]

I ask again, which other types of arrangements are acceptable to place children in?

And I’ll tell you again, fix: it’s acceptable to place children in an arrangement where they will be loved, cherished, cared for, and taken care of. Leaving a child to rot in our severely deficient social services when there is a reasonable alternative is contrary to justice and charity.