D
DL82
Guest
I am struggling to overcome the after-effects of an addiction to pornography. For nearly 2 years I haven’t looked at the websites, and I’ve reached a point where I’m reasonably good at not thinking of or dwelling on the pictures, stories and fantasies I used to look at. So far, so much to give thanks for.
:extrahappy::bowdown2::extrahappy::harp:
However, there is still the problem of the way my body’s reactions have been ‘conditioned’ by so many years of problem behaviour.
The concept of a performative utterance is something which accomplishes what it signifies (a bit like the sacraments, but subjectively, in the mind of the hearer) - so, for example, if I say “think of a lemon”, it’s almost impossible for you to understand the statement without thinking of a lemon, because the word ‘lemon’ already requires you to think about what the word signifies. On an even more basic level, this kind of structure goes back to the beginnings of the human race, to the pre-significatory language capabilities we share with the animal kingdom. Unlike a word like ‘lemon’ which signifies or symbolises something, a real performative utterance goes straight from hearing to reaction without passing through our reasoning process. For example, when our early ancestors were out hunting, one would shout “throw” and the other would throw his spear, unthinkingly, instinctively. In that kind of high adrenaline situation, there isn’t time to think before you throw, you don’t evaluate the statement, you simply do. It is the kind of instinctive reaction which soldiers train and drill to develop.
Well, certain words, objects, sounds, for me, instantly cause arousal, instantly bring to mind the things I used to arouse myself with. Because those things, in some ways, aren’t related to sex, they are things that appear in the world, even in the Church, that other people wouldn’t consider immodest in any way.
I’m trying to work out what the moral culpability is for this. I’m also wondering if there are any strategies for dealing with it? I’m aware that staying calm and not getting agitated by these things helps in some ways. All the same, I want to re-orient my reactions, not to stop being aroused altogether, but to be aroused by things that ought to cause arousal, the thoughts of growing emotionally close to a woman and supporting her as a boyfriend and husband should, not these perverted things that bear no relation to real love.
Any ideas?
:extrahappy::bowdown2::extrahappy::harp:
However, there is still the problem of the way my body’s reactions have been ‘conditioned’ by so many years of problem behaviour.
The concept of a performative utterance is something which accomplishes what it signifies (a bit like the sacraments, but subjectively, in the mind of the hearer) - so, for example, if I say “think of a lemon”, it’s almost impossible for you to understand the statement without thinking of a lemon, because the word ‘lemon’ already requires you to think about what the word signifies. On an even more basic level, this kind of structure goes back to the beginnings of the human race, to the pre-significatory language capabilities we share with the animal kingdom. Unlike a word like ‘lemon’ which signifies or symbolises something, a real performative utterance goes straight from hearing to reaction without passing through our reasoning process. For example, when our early ancestors were out hunting, one would shout “throw” and the other would throw his spear, unthinkingly, instinctively. In that kind of high adrenaline situation, there isn’t time to think before you throw, you don’t evaluate the statement, you simply do. It is the kind of instinctive reaction which soldiers train and drill to develop.
Well, certain words, objects, sounds, for me, instantly cause arousal, instantly bring to mind the things I used to arouse myself with. Because those things, in some ways, aren’t related to sex, they are things that appear in the world, even in the Church, that other people wouldn’t consider immodest in any way.
I’m trying to work out what the moral culpability is for this. I’m also wondering if there are any strategies for dealing with it? I’m aware that staying calm and not getting agitated by these things helps in some ways. All the same, I want to re-orient my reactions, not to stop being aroused altogether, but to be aroused by things that ought to cause arousal, the thoughts of growing emotionally close to a woman and supporting her as a boyfriend and husband should, not these perverted things that bear no relation to real love.
Any ideas?
