Moral Problem on Grace and Forgiveness

[WintersKnight]

I work for a major university an recently got promoted to the Office of Equal Opportunity and Access a few months ago. This office snuffs out issues of Discrimination, Harassment and ADA accommodation. A month into the job, I realized that my Director is a bully and harasses herself. I learned three people under her just walked out without notice. Another individual put up with her abuse for 2 years before going to the head of HR, and it still continued.

I have been her target for the past three months. She is vile and has vandalized my character. It’s been abuse after abuse for the past three months and I’ve been sick over it. She called me into the office and told me that maybe I wasn’t the right fit. She allowed me to look for other jobs on campus. I’ve been on several interviews this past month.

I’ve learned she has bad mouthed my work ethic and character when they referenced her (policy). Last week she called me into her office and gave me a two page final (I never received an original one) written warning full of lies. I am no longer able to look for jobs on campus. She told me she is going to fire me on May 3rd. She was smiling when she told me this.

Anyway, I have hard factual email and written evidence and can prove my case, showing she falsified the whole document. I also have a slew of witnesses and victims willing to take her under.

I went above HR (the department I work in) and filed a formal complaint of harassment with the Provost. I have also filed with a kind of independent committee within the university who has no special interests in protecting anyone (they look at the facts).

Anyway, this is going down and it’s probably going to hurt her career big time. I’m 95% these committees will see it my way. The evidence is overwhelming in my favor.

My question is, as a Catholic, what moral responsibility do I have toward this woman who has caused me hell? I feel my actions were necessary for the whole of the organization, but how do I demonstrate grace and forgiveness as this investigation takes place?

 

[JRKH]

You present the facts and,as Sgt Friday use to say on Dragnet, “Just the facts”.
You repent them without embarassment, without emotion and without embelishment.
By doing this you will not have maligned her character in any way…As you say the facts will speak for themselves. Then you simply allow the process to run it’s course.
This is called Justice…

Then - Pray for this person, and pray for yourself. Ask god to enlighten her heart so that she can get the therapeutic help she appears to need.

Are you concerned that she might confront you in some way? Threaten you or whatever?

Peace
James

 

[Edward_H]

I work for a major university an recently got promoted to the Office of Equal Opportunity and Access a few months ago. This office snuffs out issues of Discrimination, Harassment and ADA accommodation. A month into the job, I realized that my Director is a bully and harasses herself. I learned three people under her just walked out without notice. Another individual put up with her abuse for 2 years before going to the head of HR, and it still continued.

I have been her target for the past three months. She is vile and has vandalized my character. It’s been abuse after abuse for the past three months and I’ve been sick over it. She called me into the office and told me that maybe I wasn’t the right fit. She allowed me to look for other jobs on campus. I’ve been on several interviews this past month.

I’ve learned she has bad mouthed my work ethic and character when they referenced her (policy). Last week she called me into her office and gave me a two page final (I never received an original one) written warning full of lies. I am no longer able to look for jobs on campus. She told me she is going to fire me on May 3rd. She was smiling when she told me this.

Anyway, I have hard factual email and written evidence and can prove my case, showing she falsified the whole document. I also have a slew of witnesses and victims willing to take her under.

I went above HR (the department I work in) and filed a formal complaint of harassment with the Provost. I have also filed with a kind of independent committee within the university who has no special interests in protecting anyone (they look at the facts).

Anyway, this is going down and it’s probably going to hurt her career big time. I’m 95% these committees will see it my way. The evidence is overwhelming in my favor.

My question is, as a Catholic, what moral responsibility do I have toward this woman who has caused me hell? I feel my actions were necessary for the whole of the organization, but how do I demonstrate grace and forgiveness as this investigation takes place?

It sounds like you’ve done everything administrative wise that you could. Keep records, work the due process, not slander her, work your channels. Stay absolutely honest AND DISCRETE.

You demonstrate forgiveness and justice by praying a lot more, for her, for your coworkers, for her victims, for your university, and lastly for yourself.

I wish I had your persistence and spirit of noble sacrifice.

 

[Edward_H]

I work for a major university an recently got promoted to the Office of Equal Opportunity and Access a few months ago. This office snuffs out issues of Discrimination, Harassment and ADA accommodation. A month into the job, I realized that my Director is a bully and harasses herself. I learned three people under her just walked out without notice. Another individual put up with her abuse for 2 years before going to the head of HR, and it still continued.

I have been her target for the past three months. She is vile and has vandalized my character. It’s been abuse after abuse for the past three months and I’ve been sick over it. She called me into the office and told me that maybe I wasn’t the right fit. She allowed me to look for other jobs on campus. I’ve been on several interviews this past month.

I’ve learned she has bad mouthed my work ethic and character when they referenced her (policy). Last week she called me into her office and gave me a two page final (I never received an original one) written warning full of lies. I am no longer able to look for jobs on campus. She told me she is going to fire me on May 3rd. She was smiling when she told me this.

Anyway, I have hard factual email and written evidence and can prove my case, showing she falsified the whole document. I also have a slew of witnesses and victims willing to take her under.

I went above HR (the department I work in) and filed a formal complaint of harassment with the Provost. I have also filed with a kind of independent committee within the university who has no special interests in protecting anyone (they look at the facts).

Anyway, this is going down and it’s probably going to hurt her career big time. I’m 95% these committees will see it my way. The evidence is overwhelming in my favor.

My question is, as a Catholic, what moral responsibility do I have toward this woman who has caused me hell? I feel my actions were necessary for the whole of the organization, but how do I demonstrate grace and forgiveness as this investigation takes place?

It sounds like you’ve done everything administrative wise that you could. Keep records, work the due process, not slander her, work your channels. Stay absolutely honest AND DISCRETE.

You demonstrate forgiveness and justice by praying a lot more, for her, for your coworkers, for her victims, for your university, and lastly for yourself.

I wish I had your persistence and spirit of noble sacrifice.

Ask her to move it up a few days and fire you on May 1, the beginning of Mary’s month!

 

[francisca]

Anyway, I have hard factual email and written evidence and can prove my case, showing she falsified the whole document. I also have a slew of witnesses and victims willing to take her under.

I went above HR (the department I work in) and filed a formal complaint of harassment with the Provost. I have also filed with a kind of independent committee within the university who has no special interests in protecting anyone (they look at the facts).

Anyway, this is going down and it’s probably going to hurt her career big time. I’m 95% these committees will see it my way. The evidence is overwhelming in my favor.

My question is, as a Catholic, what moral responsibility do I have toward this woman who has caused me hell? I feel my actions were necessary for the whole of the organization, but how do I demonstrate grace and forgiveness as this investigation takes place?

It is good that you bring up the case, so she can’t continue her sinful way. In a way this case is God’s grace for her too, eventhough it will be painful for her. Should she never get caught, who knows, she might get worse and worse during all of her lifetime.

You don’t worry about the pain you cause her, because you don’t cause her any pain. It was her own doing. Obviously if she didn’t get caught she would not stop whatever she was doing, and she intentfully causing pain on others.

We don’t forgive an offence, we forgive the person, but put an end to the offence. God bless you.

 

[John21652]

I work for a major university an recently got promoted to the Office of Equal Opportunity and Access a few months ago. This office snuffs out issues of Discrimination, Harassment and ADA accommodation. A month into the job, I realized that my Director is a bully and harasses herself. I learned three people under her just walked out without notice. Another individual put up with her abuse for 2 years before going to the head of HR, and it still continued.

I have been her target for the past three months. She is vile and has vandalized my character. It’s been abuse after abuse for the past three months and I’ve been sick over it. She called me into the office and told me that maybe I wasn’t the right fit. She allowed me to look for other jobs on campus. I’ve been on several interviews this past month.

I’ve learned she has bad mouthed my work ethic and character when they referenced her (policy). Last week she called me into her office and gave me a two page final (I never received an original one) written warning full of lies. I am no longer able to look for jobs on campus. She told me she is going to fire me on May 3rd. She was smiling when she told me this.

Anyway, I have hard factual email and written evidence and can prove my case, showing she falsified the whole document. I also have a slew of witnesses and victims willing to take her under.

I went above HR (the department I work in) and filed a formal complaint of harassment with the Provost. I have also filed with a kind of independent committee within the university who has no special interests in protecting anyone (they look at the facts).

Anyway, this is going down and it’s probably going to hurt her career big time. I’m 95% these committees will see it my way. The evidence is overwhelming in my favor.

My question is, as a Catholic, what moral responsibility do I have toward this woman who has caused me hell? I feel my actions were necessary for the whole of the organization, but how do I demonstrate grace and forgiveness as this investigation takes place?

All that is necessary for evil to triumph is that good men to do nothing.Edmund Burke

If your evidence smears her character, while defending your own, it is a necessary condition for her own healing. It is within your rights to preserve your own character. If she has been deliberately smearing your character with lies and distortions, then she should be exposed, for her own sake, as much as for the sake of others.

As for what the Catholic Church has to say, just read the Catechism, Part Three, Section one -
1853: The root of sin is in the heart of man, in his free will, according to the teaching of the Lord: "For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, fornication, theft, false witness, slander. These are what defile a man.
**1868: **Sin is a personal act. Moreover, we have a responsibility for the sins committed by others when we cooperate in them: - by participating directly and voluntarily in them;

• by ordering, advising, praising, or approving them;
• by not disclosing or not hindering them when we have an obligation to do so;
• by protecting evil-doers.

To fight what this women is doing is an exercise in Moral Courage.

The Catechism, Part Three, Section one, Chapter one, Article Seven, The Virtues -
1804: Human virtues are firm attitudes, stable dispositions, habitual perfections of intellect and will that govern our actions, order our passions, and guide our conduct according to reason and faith. They make possible ease, self-mastery, and joy in leading a morally good life. The virtuous man is he who freely practices the good.

1808:*** Fortitude*** is the moral virtue that ensures firmness in difficulties and constancy in the pursuit of the good. It strengthens the resolve to resist temptations and to overcome obstacles in the moral life. The virtue of fortitude enables one to conquer fear, even fear of death, and to face trials and persecutions. It disposes one even to renounce and sacrifice his life in defense of a just cause.

The moral courage to stand up to a persistently offending wrongdoer requires Fortitude, which is a Cardinal Virtue.

As for your tormentor, she has sinned against Charity and needs a change of heart. It’s up to her.

 

[WintersKnight]

I want to thank everyone for your comments–they’ve helped a lot. She has really hurt me these past few months and I learned she has done this to several other people. Authorities in management have been turning their eyes to her behavior for years. I needed to vindicate myself and the people who have been harassed by her. I am a good worker–I know this in my heart. It’s funny to think that the very person who is suppose to stop workplace harassment, perpetrates this kind of behavior.

So I went to the top–I have nothing to lose at this point. However, going through hundreds of email exchanges, I realized I have all the facts. She lied. I also have several witnesses listed. When they confronted me, they said they are going to tell the truth–fortunately there are several procedures in place that protect them–unlike working for a small company.

Then I realized, my boss is probably going to get fired. In a funny way I felt guilty for calling her out. I had to ask myself if my actions were moral and humble in the eyes of God. I have never been put into this position.

But thank you, I feel vindicated already. For those of you who face workplace abuse and harassment, I pray for you. 1 in every 4 people experience it. It’s something I will continue to fight against.

I also apologize, being the Easter Holiday, for bringing up something so very trivial. Work as such a minute aspect of life and doesn’t define the whole of who we are in the eyes of Christ.

 

[JRKH]

I want to thank everyone for your comments–they’ve helped a lot. She has really hurt me these past few months and I learned she has done this to several other people. Authorities in management have been turning their eyes to her behavior for years. I needed to vindicate myself and the people who have been harassed by her. I am a good worker–I know this in my heart. It’s funny to think that the very person who is suppose to stop workplace harassment, perpetrates this kind of behavior.

This is a terrible thing. One thing that also occured to me is to think about, how this action will be of help to the others who were harrassed. It will likely give them some ofthe same peace and vindication that you will receive.

So I went to the top–I have nothing to lose at this point. However, going through hundreds of email exchanges, I realized I have all the facts. She lied. I also have several witnesses listed. When they confronted me, they said they are going to tell the truth–fortunately there are several procedures in place that protect them–unlike working for a small company.

See - this just needed someone with the courage to act intelligently, carefully and resolutely, nad without a desire for revenge or to somehow punish another.

Then I realized, my boss is probably going to get fired. In a funny way I felt guilty for calling her out. I had to ask myself if my actions were moral and humble in the eyes of God. I have never been put into this position.

The fact that you DO feel compassion for this woman is a HUGE factor in knowing that you are working within God’s Will.

But thank you, I feel vindicated already. For those of you who face workplace abuse and harassment, I pray for you. 1 in every 4 people experience it. It’s something I will continue to fight against.

I also apologize, being the Easter Holiday, for bringing up something so very trivial. Work as such a minute aspect of life and doesn’t define the whole of who we are in the eyes of Christ.

I don’t think this is a trivial matter at all. I’m glad you brought it up in Holy Week.
No reason to have this concern hanging over you and disturbing your peace during this most Holy Time.

Peace
James