Moral question in confirmation class

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I know this is VERY short notice, but I really need some help. I have been asked to substitute teach a confirmation class for ninth and tenth graders this Wednesday. The DRE asked me to address the fact that many of the students love going to two big non-denominational Mega-churches here in town. They still want to be confirmed in the Catholic Church, but they say it’s more fun at the other churches. They say that if they go to Mass on Sunday morning, there shouldn’t be anything wrong with attending these other churches later in the day. Any (name removed by moderator)ut that you have would be great!
Thanks and God Bless!!!
 
Yes, these mega chruches are attractive to the youth. First of all, you cannot and will not sway these kids at one confirmation class. Depending of the depth of their catechesis on the Mass it’s hard to discern what approach to take in one session. I would emphasize the nature of the Mass and that going to other Christian churches can be o.k. as long as they do not participate in their communion and that they have attended Mass that Sunday. This is really a red flag for a parent meeting. As catechists, we can only be a resource for the parents. If they see fit that their child attends a megachurch after Mass, there isn’t a whole lot that you can do.

This is where improper catechesis for parents and children rears it’s ugly head. I just did a two hour talk on the Mass and the Eucharist for Level one Confirmation yesterday. Those whose parents are involved gave me their undivided attention. Those who have no parental support giggled and couldn’t wait for the time to pass.

If that is a crisis in your parish, have the DRE address this with the parents. And, most of all, you should not be handed this burden as if it was a quick fix that a few words might fix. Your DRE seems to hope that a bandaid will cure a gaping wound.

Good luck and you are in my prayers…teachccd 🙂
 
I suggest you print out and read the encyclical Ecclesia de Eucharistia with them.

I suggest that you read the sections that specifically talk about other ecclesial communities.

With more notice you could get the excellent video The Mass Unveiled For Children by Fr. Antoine Thomas.

I’ve also done an activity where I took all the parts of the Mass and wrote one per index card and had them try to put them in the right order-- I put major headings on 4 flip chart pages-- Introductory Rites; Liturgy of the Word; Liturgy of the Eucharist; Concluding Rites-- and then had them put them on the the flip charts in order as best as they could. Usually I make duplicates and do it in teams to compete for who gets the most correct. THEN-- when they get them all wrong-- we go through the Missalette and put them in the right order, followed by discussion of all the biblical elements of the Mass. This gets them more interested b/c they know what’s going on.
 
I would start them off reading John 17. Ask them what they think Christ is trying to say in this prayer. Hopefully the theme of His desire that the Church be one will come to light. Then ask them why they think there 40,000 Protestant denominations out there when Christ is calling all of us to be one Church? Maybe get into how many churches have to rely on entertainment to draw people in because they have parted from the one Church Christ called everyone to belong to.

Ask them if they think the people at the mega-entertainment service are having a religious experience or are they simply getting a rush from the music and interpreting it as something holy when they would likely have the very same experience at a good football game?

Ask them how they discern what is a real experience and what is manufactured?

Those are just some thoughts. It probably won’t stop them from going, but maybe you can plant a seed or two. I agree the parents need to be more involved, but chances are that many of them are fairly weak in their faith, too.
 
The substitute gets thrown into the snake pit!

Do these kids drive themselves to the mega churches or are their parents taking them?

God bless you for taking this on!
 
You guys are AWESOME!!! Thanks so much for all the great ideas!
I just wonder, does attending a service at another church constitute scandal? In effect, by attending the service, even if you have already attended Mass, you are showing support/agreement with the beliefs of that congregation. If others see you, they may be led to believe that you think this church has the answers. As a student who is about to be confirmed, I think you should be leading your friends to the Fullness of Truth rather than joining them where they are. Just trying to formulate all these thoughts in my mind. Any comments would be welcome.
 
zoukoda said:
I just wonder, does attending a service at another church constitute scandal? In effect, by attending the service, even if you have already attended Mass, you are showing support/agreement with the beliefs of that congregation. If others see you, they may be led to believe that you think this church has the answers.
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It **could **be the sin of scandal. A once-in-a-while visit to Grandma’s church or Cousin Bob’s baby’s baptism that is not the same as going weekly to another denomination and especially if one is actively participating in leadership/“liturgical” roles like choir, reader, etc.
zoukoda said:
As a student who is about to be confirmed, I think you should be leading your friends to the Fullness of Truth rather than joining them where they are. Just trying to formulate all these thoughts in my mind. Any comments would be welcome.
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Yep.
 
I agree that it is scandalous, not of course in the sense that people are shocked, but in the sense that it erodes their confidence in the Catholic Church if all their Catholic friends are going to other churches. People like to go with the crowd and be like the others.
Plus, our children sense the scandal of disunity, that it is wrong that Christians are divided. So it’s great to do your part for Christian unity, but children (and a lot of adults) don’t have the discernment to engage in dialogue and can be easily shaken because they aren’t sufficiently rooted in their Catholic identity. The way we can all help is by praying Jn 17.
We have to help Catholics, especially in the US, to see that “houses of worship” aren’t interchangeable and that we have a responsibility to keep and spread the faith that Jesus has given to us. That includes worshipping in the way the Apostles passed down to us. We can be faithful, evangelizing Catholics and still be open and respectul to those who don’t share our faith.
Praying for y’all in Victoria.
 
I gone to other services, but AFTER attending Mass. It was usually on invite by friends or family who aren’t Catholic.
But we NEVER participate in their communion services.

In the Vatican II Council Documents it states;

“59. Catholics may be allowed to attend occassionally the liturgical services of other brethren if the have reasonable ground,e.g., arising out of a public office or funcdtion, blood relationship or friendship, desire to be better informed, an ecumenical gathering, etc. In these cases, with due regard to what has been said above-there is nothing against Catholics taking some part in the common responses, hymns and actions of the community of which they are guests-so long as they are not at variance with Catholic faith. The same principles govern the manner in which our separated brethren may assist at services in Catholic churches. This particiapation, from which reception of the Eucharist is always excluded, should lead the participants to esteem the spiritual riches we have in common and at the same time make them more aware of the gravity of our separations.”
 
#1- Adult Catechesis

#2- Adult Catechesis

#3- Adult Catechesis

Now that we are clear on the order of catechetical importance, let me reiterate that without parental support a fifteen year old will look for entertainment. If these kids have parents who are taking them to these non-denominational churches, or whatever, then THEY(the parents) have no idea about Catholicism. This goes way back to pre-confirmation days. These kids never had the proper guidance throughout their formative years.

We HAVE to remember that as catechists we AIDE the parents in their roles as PRIMARY catechists for their children. We are not that role. We are a resource such as a book might be. I FULLY understand the heartbreaking feelings that we go through as we try our darndest to share our faith with these kids. But we must remember our roles and how we only assist the parents.

I seemed to have forgottten. Did I mention adult Catechesis??

God Bless and best of luck. Have a great session and in your limited amount of time just let the kids see your conviction in our faith and that may just be enough…teachccd 🙂
 
I would try to draw a parallel for the students. Metaphors tend to work well with young teenagers (I’m sure you already know that).

It’s like saying to your spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend, “You’re the only one for me. I want to marry you and spend the rest of my life with you. But once a week I’m going to go out with someone else because I have more fun with them. Yeah, you love me and I love you. But I need more.”

You might ask them, “What seems wrong with that statement?” Introducing this hypothetical and question first might help. The students would say, “But if you want to marry them, they should be enough.” And then you can go from there. Hope I helped.

YACatholic
 
YACatholic said:
I would try to draw a parallel for the students. Metaphors tend to work well with young teenagers (I’m sure you already know that).

It’s like saying to your spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend, “You’re the only one for me. I want to marry you and spend the rest of my life with you. But once a week I’m going to go out with someone else because I have more fun with them. Yeah, you love me and I love you. But I need more.”

You might ask them, “What seems wrong with that statement?” Introducing this hypothetical and question first might help. The students would say, “But if you want to marry them, they should be enough.” And then you can go from there. Hope I helped.

YACatholic
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That’s assuming that they understand and love the Mass. Without proper catechesis, music in another Christian church might just be more “loveable”…teachccd 🙂
 
teachccd said:
That’s assuming that they understand and love the Mass. Without proper catechesis, music in another Christian church might just be more “loveable”…teachccd 🙂
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True. But they’ve already stated that they want to be Confirmed in the Catholic Church. Thus, the parallel is given. Essentially stating that Confirmation is a marriage, and are you really committed to Catholicism if you have to go elsewhere? It’s trying to teach them one of the results of Confirmation, being “more perfectly bound” to the Church, and also gets them to question their intent. I think it works.

Thanks for the (name removed by moderator)ut:thumbsup:

YACatholic
 
YACatholic said:
True. But they’ve already stated that they want to be Confirmed in the Catholic Church. Thus, the parallel is given. Essentially stating that Confirmation is a marriage, and are you really committed to Catholicism if you have to go elsewhere? It’s trying to teach them one of the results of Confirmation, being “more perfectly bound” to the Church, and also gets them to question their intent. I think it works.

Thanks for the (name removed by moderator)ut:thumbsup:

YACatholic
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Very well said. I still feel that the weight of this issue rests on their parents and not on a substitute catechist. But your analogy is very good and I will utilize it in the future with my classes. thank you…teachccd 🙂
 
They still want to be confirmed in the Catholic Church, but they say it’s more fun at the other churches.

You could ask them where they got the idea that worship is supposed to be “fun” (in the secular, self-gratifying sense) and entertaining and “about me.”
 
Well, last night went very well. I went in armed with my Catechism and with all your posts (especially loved the analogy of marriage and seeing someone else once a week for fun!) and I think it went well. The first 10 minutes were like pulling teeth, so I stopped talking and challenged them to ask me anything they wanted, or tell me any reason they felt the other churches were doing a better job. Then it got really interesting. When they saw that they couldn’t shock me with their questions, I could see them really starting to pay attention. Anyway, we talked about the difference between worshiping at Mass and having fun at a rock concert or sporting even. I stressed the fact that Mass isn’t about what we get out of it, but what we put into it. I also made sure that they realized that skipping Mass is a mortal sin. Most of them are not driving, so I told them that they need to sit down and make sure their parents know that skipping Mass is a mortal sin. We are not here to judge others, but we cannot let dangerous behavior go on without warning those we love.
Thank you so much for all your help and (name removed by moderator)ut. I am new to this site and I’m just so thrilled to have a place to go and discuss issues like this with others who are passionate about their faith.
Pax Christi!
 
zoukoda said:
Well, last night went very well. I went in armed with my Catechism and with all your posts (especially loved the analogy of marriage and seeing someone else once a week for fun!) and I think it went well. The first 10 minutes were like pulling teeth, so I stopped talking and challenged them to ask me anything they wanted, or tell me any reason they felt the other churches were doing a better job. Then it got really interesting. When they saw that they couldn’t shock me with their questions, I could see them really starting to pay attention. Anyway, we talked about the difference between worshiping at Mass and having fun at a rock concert or sporting even. I stressed the fact that Mass isn’t about what we get out of it, but what we put into it. I also made sure that they realized that skipping Mass is a mortal sin. Most of them are not driving, so I told them that they need to sit down and make sure their parents know that skipping Mass is a mortal sin. We are not here to judge others, but we cannot let dangerous behavior go on without warning those we love.
Thank you so much for all your help and (name removed by moderator)ut. I am new to this site and I’m just so thrilled to have a place to go and discuss issues like this with others who are passionate about their faith.
Pax Christi!
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Congrats! It’s great to hear it went well. God Bless.

YACatholic
 
zoukoda said:
Well, last night went very well… Most of them are not driving, so I told them that they need to sit down and make sure their parents know that skipping Mass is a mortal sin. We are not here to judge others, but we cannot let dangerous behavior go on without warning those we love.
Thank you so much for all your help and (name removed by moderator)ut. I am new to this site and I’m just so thrilled to have a place to go and discuss issues like this with others who are passionate about their faith.
Pax Christi!
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I know that in my posts I didn’t give you a lesson plan and all of my posts were ignored by all but we have a crisis going on and you mentioned here that it is the parents who need to get these kids to Mass. Anyway, I’m glad that all went well for you as a sub and I hope that they continue with your message. God Bless you in all that you do and keep me in your prayers…teachccd 🙂
 
Oh, your post wasn’t ignored…I just think that we all agree it is the parents who need to get their acts together. When I think of how involved parents get with their child’s sports and academics and music lessons and how LITTLE they seem to care about the most important thing, it makes me livid. I would honestly rather have one of my children drop out of school than grow up without a deep love for their faith. That would break my heart!
Anyway, until we can get the parents passionate about their faith, well, we just do out best with the kids.
God bless you!!!
Annie
 
zoukoda said:
Oh, your post wasn’t ignored…I just think that we all agree it is the parents who need to get their acts together. When I think of how involved parents get with their child’s sports and academics and music lessons and how LITTLE they seem to care about the most important thing, it makes me livid. I would honestly rather have one of my children drop out of school than grow up without a deep love for their faith. That would break my heart!
Anyway, until we can get the parents passionate about their faith, well, we just do out best with the kids.
God bless you!!!
Annie
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👍 And God Bless you!!!
 
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