A
Anim8
Guest
I have been thinking about joining the military for over two years now (specifically the Marines). But I am in a bit of a struggle spiritually.
I struggle a lot with pride, vanity, and caring what others think of me. I feel at times that I only want to join the military to “prove” something, to gain admiration of others. There are times when I feel like my desire to join the military stems from the sins afore mentioned. When I feel this way, I lose the desire to join the military, I lose all desire because I see it as a way of rejecting God and feeding my own selfish desires.
Based on that, I would think that joining the military would be wrong (under these circumstances), and that would be the end of it.
BUT (isn’t there always a but?), there are also times when I have a pure desire to join the military. I feel like it would be good for me, I think about all the benefits and honorable aspects of joining. I feel a patriotic desire to serve my God and my country in the military. In these moments I feel like my desire not to serve in the military comes from laziness and low self esteem (yes, I struggle with low self esteem, pride, and vanity all at once…its weird). I feel like I’m trying to convince myself not to join.
My problem is that I’m trying to figure out who is telling me what. Typically I feel the former when I am depressed and lazy. While the latter when I am feeling spiritually “in touch”, or when I’m being active and productive.
I’ve spent many nights debating the morality of this decision; and looking at the evidence in my last paragraph I would tend to think that since I feel like the military is a good option when I’m in a good place spiritually, and the military looks like a bad option when I’m in a bad place spiritually, then the military would be a good option. But I cannot deny that there is truth in both arguments.
I really don’t know which voice to listen to, they both sound true, and well intentioned. But I know Satan whispers sweetly in our ears, and he often uses good intentions to his own ends. What should I do? I have prayed about it, but I still can’t discern what is right.
There is a program to enter the Marine Corps called PLC that allows a college student, once they turn 20, to go through all of Basic training without any commitment. I’m thinking about taking this route, it would allow me to see what military life would be like without making any commitments. But this will only delay my decision, I won’t have much chance to debate morality during basic training, so I need to make a decision before it comes to that. I don’t want to procrastinate on this.
Sorry if this is difficult to follow at all, I find it all rather confusing myself.
I struggle a lot with pride, vanity, and caring what others think of me. I feel at times that I only want to join the military to “prove” something, to gain admiration of others. There are times when I feel like my desire to join the military stems from the sins afore mentioned. When I feel this way, I lose the desire to join the military, I lose all desire because I see it as a way of rejecting God and feeding my own selfish desires.
Based on that, I would think that joining the military would be wrong (under these circumstances), and that would be the end of it.
BUT (isn’t there always a but?), there are also times when I have a pure desire to join the military. I feel like it would be good for me, I think about all the benefits and honorable aspects of joining. I feel a patriotic desire to serve my God and my country in the military. In these moments I feel like my desire not to serve in the military comes from laziness and low self esteem (yes, I struggle with low self esteem, pride, and vanity all at once…its weird). I feel like I’m trying to convince myself not to join.
My problem is that I’m trying to figure out who is telling me what. Typically I feel the former when I am depressed and lazy. While the latter when I am feeling spiritually “in touch”, or when I’m being active and productive.
I’ve spent many nights debating the morality of this decision; and looking at the evidence in my last paragraph I would tend to think that since I feel like the military is a good option when I’m in a good place spiritually, and the military looks like a bad option when I’m in a bad place spiritually, then the military would be a good option. But I cannot deny that there is truth in both arguments.
I really don’t know which voice to listen to, they both sound true, and well intentioned. But I know Satan whispers sweetly in our ears, and he often uses good intentions to his own ends. What should I do? I have prayed about it, but I still can’t discern what is right.
There is a program to enter the Marine Corps called PLC that allows a college student, once they turn 20, to go through all of Basic training without any commitment. I’m thinking about taking this route, it would allow me to see what military life would be like without making any commitments. But this will only delay my decision, I won’t have much chance to debate morality during basic training, so I need to make a decision before it comes to that. I don’t want to procrastinate on this.
Sorry if this is difficult to follow at all, I find it all rather confusing myself.
