Morality in the military?

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Airborne21B

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Hello, good friends:
First off, a form of background is in order. I've been raised Catholic since I was six. In the twelve years since then I have climbed and fallen in faith, much like everyone else. The thing is I joined the Army when I was seventeen, and just recently turned eighteen. I don't know how many of you understand exactly what I mean when I say this but, there is nary a form of morality in the armed forces in this day in age. And I am falling. I have had a few relationships with Catholic girls in the past; there was sexual temptations, but nothing I couldn't handle. Now that I'm on the other side of the country, away from everyone I know (especially those that helped me grow in faith) I find myself being unable to handle the stresses of sexual desires as efficiently as previously stated. There were gasps and scratched heads all around, when the news of my virginity worked it's way into company. Ever since then I have been constantly hounded as well as ridiculed for my choice of lifestyle. Although nothing has happened yet, I catch myself pondering the occasion in a much different light. I grow concerned that should the fine female form present itself to me again I would do something that would throw me into a downward spiral for the rest of my life. I know my flaws and my weaknesses, going after girls has always been one of them, which up till now was kept in moderation. The poorly formulated thesis is this. How do you remain pure when all around you is indecency? :shrug:
 
And that, brother, is what we all wrestle with.

First of all, let me begin by thanking you for your service in the military. You are performing a noble job that helps to keep our country free. I commend you for it. You are truly a hero.

Secondly, let me offer you a few tips to help in the area of chastity. First and foremost is frequent reception of the sacraments. Go to Mass and receive the Eucharist as often as you can. Go to Confession as often as you can. I realize that given teh lack of military chaplains today, that may be difficult in your situation. If that is the case, make a spiritual communion by expressing a desire in your heart for our Lord to come and dwell there. Second are all sacramentals. Wear a scapular if you have one. Pray the Rosary frequently. Keep a vial of holy water near by. Personally, I am most tempted towards impurity when I am lying in bed at the beginning of night, so I have made it a habit to end my day by praying, “Praised be Jesus Christ, now and forever,” and blessing myself with holy water. I cannot tell you how much this simple action helps in fighting temptation. Next, do penance. Given your current role of military service, do not do anything that will put your health at risk and thus risk the lives of those around you. However, skipping dessert at a meal, going without salt and gravy on your potatoes, or butter on a roll are great ways to train and master the senses. “Consume” and “consumate” come from the same Latin root word, and, when writing about the virtue of temperance, St. Thomas Aquinas said that it is the “mastering of the desire for food, drink, and sex according to reason.” Finally, find people to help you. First among these people should be a wise and prudent spiritual directior, preferably a priest. Then, find good solid Christian friends who share the same morals as you do. You can help to strengthen one another and keep each other going.

I hope this helps.

Again, thank you for your service. I pray that you will be safe and that St. Michael will protect you as well as all of our servicemen and women.
 
Good upstanding Catholic or even just plain Christian people are nowhere to be found. The only parish around is off post and since my truck is still back home getting there becomes a frequent issue. I have been there and when I leave I don’t feel at peace like I used to. Maybe that’s just the difference between traditional Latin mass and Novus Ordo.
 
Airborne21B said:
There were gasps and scratched heads all around, when the news of my virginity worked it’s way into company. Ever since then I have been constantly hounded as well as ridiculed for my choice of lifestyle.
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and how did this happen unless you shared this info yourself? anyone committed to chastity, inside and outside marriage, is going to be in constant battle with the secular culture, so that is the reason for constant spiritual warfare, frequent recourse to the sacraments, and the traditional disciplines of prayer, fasting and charitable acts.
 
Actually I didn’t say anything. A friend who I knew from home is in another company in the same battalion. And the leak sprung from his lips, although, no harm was meant.
 
I know it’s hard. I’ve been in the military for a long time. We create a “warrior ethos” that is intended to permeate our whole life. We train to inflict quick, focused and decisive violence on our enemies. That’s how you win, and we are in the business of winning. Many young people have a difficult time separating what the military wants to make of them from the moral being they need to make for themselves. I’m assuming you are going through jump school maybe, and if 21B is your MOS, you’re probably an engineer of some sort. Combat arms units tend to be a lot more aligned to doing the macho stuff guys are supposed to do–drinking, fighting, girls, etc. There aren’t a lot of Catholic chaplains in the Army to begin with, but there should be one at Bragg. If not, they most probably contract for one to say Mass and hear confessions. You haven’t been in a long time, but trust me, you will find people out there who can strengthen you and for whom you can also provide strength. Do the best you can at your job and avoid occasions that might cause you to slip. When you do slip, and everybody does, it isn’t the end of the world. Pick yourself up, go to reconciliation, and keep on trying. It gets easier with grace.

BTW, good moral choices are a reflection of character. Those same guys who might make fun of you now will want to have you in their HMMWV in combat because they know what you’re made of.
 
I can’t imagine what military installation you’re at that doesn’t offer Catholic Mass on post.

Regardless of his/her denomination, hook up with your unit Chaplain and get introduced to others in your unit with similar feelings…believe it or not they exist.

Do your job well, don’t PUSH your feelings on others, but show them Christ with your lifestyle…and remain faithful to your lifestyle, and you will soon be respected for it.

Thanks for your service, I’ve been doing it 18 years myself and love it.
 
First and foremost, thank you for your service to me and to our country.

I am sure that the temptations and the teasing and all that comes with it can at times seem unbearable. However, when it comes time to answer to the Lord on judgement day, will any of those that are teasing your and giving you a hard time be there as a character witness for you? Who will be the one to have to answer for your life?

Jesus never said that it would be easy, only that it would be worth it. How do you think that it felt to be spat at? To be beaten by those that you came to save and to protect? To simply “take it” and not be able to fight back?

I am sure that this is a tough situation to be in, I do not doubt that one bit. But when you lay your head down at night and say your prayers it is about you and it is about God. No one else. Should some woman present herself, should you take her up on the offer, no, absolutely not. You should continue to strive and endure in your choice to remain chaste, to remain a virgin. I cannot tell you the joy that your future wife will feel to know that you waited FOR HER to share God’s gift of married sexual love with. That gift that He has given to you and you will give to your spouse will trump any jokes, any teasing, any hard time that anyone will give you.
 
In my younger days when I was on active duty I partied as hard if not harder than anyone in my unit. However, I knew the line and was not interested in crossing it. Many of friends did not have the same concepts of morality. We were all young, agressive, and competitive. Many held it as a personal mission to conquest at the night club and were driven to “score”. Those are the ones who would ridicule those who were not sexually active because they did not comprehend the concept of wanting to be chaste. They assumed the only reason someone would be a virgin was because they were unsuccessfull with the ladies. This is the popular concept in our society. I will say that things changed as we got older, some of us got married and the conversations matured.

You may find that older maried members of your unit offering more support.
 
Airborne21B said:
…there is nary a form of morality in the armed forces in this day in age.
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My experience has been completely different. I’ve been in the Air Force for over 19 years. Those I’ve had the pleasure to serve with are among the most dedicated men and women I’ve ever associated with, and they hold to core values which serve to increase the virtue of our nation. I work with all services, and find the same thing there too. There are exceptions, however I find these exception to be far fewer with my military associations than with my non-military associations.
There were gasps and scratched heads all around, when the news of my virginity worked it’s way into company. Ever since then I have been constantly hounded as well as ridiculed for my choice of lifestyle.
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Matthew 5:11 “Blessed are you when men revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account.”

Rom 12:14 “Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them.”
How do you remain pure when all around you is indecency? 🤷
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I don’t think your situation in the military is any different than my situation was outside the military at your age. It’s difficult to even walk through the mall now-a-days without it being a “near occasion of sin.” :eek:

As for what to do, you know what God expects of you when “sin is crouching at the door…you must master it” (Gen 4:7). But how? I recommend prayer and also acts of physical (bodily) mortification. St. Paul, for example, said that he “pommelled” his body so as to strengthen his spirit: “I pommel my body and subdue it, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified.” (1 Cor 9:27). There seems to be something about enduring physical hardships (such as fasting), which when endured faithfully, strengthens one’s spirit. I know it sounds mystical, but it seems to work. So, when tempted of the flesh, throw yourself into some form of physical work, such as running 5 miles, lifting weights, etc.

But first and foremost, pray. I recommend praying the Liturgy of the Hours, which is a liturgical prayer recommended every 3 hours. (see more here). If you “pray without ceasing” (1 Thess 5:17), then it becomes increasingly difficult to give in to temptation.

I also recommend you continue in contact with others who share your zeal for real love and truth. While this may be difficult given certain circumstances (e.g. deployed locations), you can still come to Catholic.com for the kind of encouragement and mentoring you need from like-minded brethren.
 
I was in the Army myself back in the early to mid '80’s. The attitude then was that the only reason women joined was for the sex, drugs and alchol. Well, that wasn’t why I joined. I got constantly “hit on.” At least I think that’s the way to put it. The men would be extremely crude and then wonder why I wouldn’t go out with them.
 
Dear Brother in Jesus.
Code: 
 First off, a form of background is in order. I've been raised Catholic since I was six. In the twelve years since then I have climbed and fallen in faith, much like everyone else. The thing is I joined the Army when I was seventeen, and just recently turned eighteen. I don't know how many of you understand exactly what I mean when I say this but, there is nary a form of morality in the armed forces in this day in age. And I am falling.
**You are falling? you mean you have decided you want to fall… See, thats where the problem lies. You decide to fall before you fall… then the occasion comes and you blame it on that. Tragic but true. **

I have had a few relationships with Catholic girls in the past; there was sexual temptations, but nothing I couldn’t handle. Now that I’m on the other side of the country, away from everyone I know (especially those that helped me grow in faith) I find myself being unable to handle the stresses of sexual desires as efficiently as previously stated. There were gasps and scratched heads all around, when the news of my virginity worked it’s way into company. Ever since then I have been constantly hounded as well as ridiculed for my choice of lifestyle.

Its satan himself that laughes and ridicules… He wants you in little bloody pieces left on the ground to die… and then… Jesus will come to collect those pieces and those tears and you will be in His hospital for a loooong time in agony and darkness… this is what happend to me… Satan got his laugh at me allright. There is a lot of difference between being a virgin and pondering the thought of physical intimacy while you still have everything to give to your future spouse and somehow feel safe… and then waking up after you loose your virginity and being in hell because you know that you lost that thing that you were supposed to give to your bride who is out there saving her self for you right now. Or maybe she is not… maybe she is tempted too and is thinking: “would it really matter that much?” then what would you answer her on that question?.. what would you tell your future bride? I am left in the position where I’d give anything to regain what I have lost… I have to one day look into the eyes of the man I will spend the rest of my life with and tell him: I did not respect and love my self, my Lord, or you enough to wait for you:(

Although nothing has happened yet, I catch myself pondering the occasion in a much different light. I grow concerned that should the fine female form present itself to me again I would do something that would throw me into a downward spiral for the rest of my life. I know my flaws and my weaknesses, going after girls has always been one of them, which up till now was kept in moderation. The poorly formulated thesis is this. How do you remain pure when all around you is indecency?

**Do you remember Josef… the young pious Israeli in the Old Testament… what did he do when the fine female form presented itself to him? He left his clothes in her arms and ran out of her room and then he was cast into prison… But there he had peace because he ran instead of sinning.
So too with the desert fathers. They said they became monks… not because they were strong but because they were weak… So too I say to you. If the situation is that bad that you feel you are drowning… the get the heck outta that place a.s.a.p.
One day… if you go ahead and follow your flesh now, it will become apparent that there were millions of other soldiers who did not give up while you did.
Dont give in brother… It will cause you such extreme sadness and leave a wound that will never go away. One day you will be done at that place… then who do you wanna be?

Jesus keep you.
And DONT go near the occasion of sin… I just is not worth it… not one bit even…

Your sister Grace who is just a little older than you but who knows what she is talking about… **
 
I just wanted to say to the OP that I feel your pain. I have found that the majority of those with religious values in the military tend to be the older, married, officer families. For the young, enlisted 18-20-something, single soldier…good luck. The guys my husband are surrounded with at work are a horrible influence. The stories I hear about their “social lives” are appalling, and sadly these are the people with whom my husband spends the majority of his time.

I would think that there would be Catholic mass on your base, even if it is small, but at the same time, our priest was just telling us last week about the extreme shortage of military priests…so it may be that mass off base is your only option…which is unfortunate.

I think it is admirable that you are concerned about keeping your faith 🙂 Maybe you could find someone from the parish off base who could “adopt you”, so to speak, and give you a ride to mass each week. I can think of plenty of people who would be more than willing to bring a soldier with them to church each week! At the very least, you’ll be getting fed spiritually each Sunday and perhaps you can find others your age in that parish.
 
jkatpc said:
Do the best you can at your job and avoid occasions that might cause you to slip. When you do slip, and everybody does, it isn’t the end of the world.
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Excuse me for saying so but what a poor piece of advice… “when you do slip”… its people like you that make people slip in the first place because they are made to believe they cant avoid it. Thats how I slipped at 17… “Everybody is doing it and surely you cant say no to those urges”… I grew up listening to that lie from the devil.
However, once you do slip you will suddenly see the millions of virgins that did not slip because they did not buy into the lie.

To the Opening Poster…
Everytime you feel the urge you should remember the words of one of the apostles that said: “once desire conceives it gives birth to death”. You know this is true. STD’s is the least of these problems even though its gross to carry one of those with you… and do you wanna go against the law of Jesus by using artificial brith control? You are a Catholic and you want to show some young woman who does not know Christ the love of Christ by showing her “imitation love” so she can get used by you, get pregnant by you and you can pay for her abortion and become a murderer… or maybe you can become a dad at 19… try to see who will marry you if you have a kid at 19… It sure is a spiral of death that you start a bargain with … you might think it will relieve your tension with a one night stand…
but this is like drinking salt water in order to quench your thirst. It wont satisfy the least…
Look… Jesus is the Hero…and the Christian men that know their worth and fight for real pure and true love, they are the heroes of Christian women and children. I am telling you the truth and you know it… When you are in the dark all you see is the satisfaction you want for your own superficial desires… but think about all the baggage that comes with it. … and think about the Responsible awesome Love Jesus called you for in fellowship with Him and with your future bride… who could be out there getting seduced by some horny soldier right this moment…

.🤷
 
Wow! What help you all have been. I was tasked out this weekend and missed the opportunity to reply to all these posts. I appreciate the words of wisdom and encouragement. This thread has served me well I’ll let it slowly fade away now.
 
Personally, I would recommend praying the rosary every day for one thing. For another, I would recommend going to Mass every Saturday vigil or Sunday. And for another, I’d recommend going to confession on a frequent if not weekly basis. Also, receive the Eucharist as much as possible. It will strengthen you. 🙂

God bless!
 
Thank you Jesus, Thank you Jesus…

Airborne,
Thanks for writing back here… I have been so worried about you and have been in intense painful prayer for you.

You have everything to give… you are immensely rich in a way that your friends dont know about…
If you ever feel tempted again, go here:

www.pureloveclub.com

This page helped me immensely…

:tiphat:
 
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