Sandi:
In one word, NO.
If you co-sign, you are as obligated to repay THE FULL AMOUNT as she is.
It could have repercussions that might hurt us financially or even be devastating. Let’s say we did end up having to pay the 20k, that would definitely put our savings account on low. Then what if I become pregnant? It’s always a possibility… so yes, I do think it could hurt us more than we know. Along with that is the massacre of our credit. I do know co-signing is unwise and foolish, that’s for sure.
AlaAnnie:
If she falls behind in the payments and only she is receiving the statements for the loan, your credit could be ruined long before you’re actually notified.
I co-sign for no one - not even my children.
When talking to my mother about this, she said she wouldn’t even co-sign if it were me. I definitely understand how foolish it is to co-sign. I didn’t know that our credit could be ruined before we’re actually notified. That really would be giving the shirts off our backs, and pretty much our lives, or the quality of it.
kage_ar:
IMHO, it is wrong to go into deep debt to get a college diploma, debt that can crush for years and years - bad idea.
I agree, although after years of college already, I think she’s pretty much maxed out and can’t afford any more. She appears to be okay with all this because pharmacists make something around 100k, which is what she’ll be supposedly hired for immediately upon completion.
puzzleannie:
Code:
If you are looking for an excuse to give your relative, simply say, which is quite likely true, you are trying to qualify for your own mortgage
you have no moral obligation whatever to co-sign a loan for anyone, including your own children. To co-sign means you are making yourself potentially liable for the debt, which can destroy your credit in an instant. UTo co-sign a loan for someone with a history of mismanaging credit is insanity and may also be enabling their abusive habit, which is immoral in and of itself.
As far as I’m aware, we’ve already qualified for our own mortgage and it’s a done deal. But we will be needing to make some big purchases. My immediate reaction was ‘no’ because of the foolishness of co-signing. I told my husband we can offer financial help from time to time, but you’re right, co-signing just goes too far and just isn’t moral.
thann:
Code:
As others here have said, you have no *moral *obligation to co-sign.
Furthermore, she needs to find her own way in the world and needs to learn this life lesson on her own. With that in mind, it is more charitable that you do *not *co-sign.
You should, of course, pray for her and offer moral support.
Good advice. Thanks.
1ke:
Do not co-sign the loan unless you are willing and able to pay every penny of it and are willing to lose your relationship with your sister in law over it in the worst case scenario.
We don’t have a relationship with her as it is, sadly. I love her and wish the best for her. But about six years ago she lived with us for about a year. It was during that time that for some unknown reason I became deathly ill. I mysteriously lost a dangerous amount of weight, and I was chronically nauseated all the time. During that time I had to leave to re-coperate at my mother’s house. As I was recovering, she spoke bad of me to my husband, and she appeared to be trying to work hard to break up my marriage. We had to push her away, because we felt we were obligated to protect our marriage. I love her, thank God, but she is very, very intelligent when it comes to manipulation tactics, and my husband was suceptable to them. Not so much any more. I hate that we had to push her out of our lives, but she was making me so stressed that I became sick, my husband was becoming a stressed-out angry person, and our marriage was constantly under attack. She even planned our weekends, and if we didn’t agree,
we were the “selfish” ones. We were walking on eggshells around her the entire time, because at any moment she could switch from rosy-cheeked-happy to
very angry. Plus we had no privacy… she talked bad about everyone behind their back. Who knows if the whole fam had only her view of us. So sadly, she’s not in our lives anymore, because she’s just too dangerous. She’s not a threat to our marriage and never was, but she has been known to attack thru manipulation and other ways. For health, moral, and saftey reasons, we had to seperate ourselves from her. So the relationship is already dissolved. We haven’t spoken to her directly in over 5 years. We forgive her, we love her, but she scares us and stresses us out so bad that it literally makes us sick. But I pray for her, and I hope that God will help her, and I wish her the best. It’s a very sad situation.
Anyway, in the past we’ve already given her around two thousand. A gift.
.
Just a comparison.
