More telling someone they're sinning

[BasiaGirl]

I suffer from scruples; as a result, I know a lot about Canon Law (unfortunately). I feel that if I don’t correct people, I am responsible for their sins. At the same time, I don’t want to turn them off. For example, I have a Church friend who is a Eucharistic minister. Today at Mass, she mentioned that she is pro-choice. This really freaked me out. I thought about it and finally, at the end of Mass, I said, “Isn’t being pro-choice a mortal sin.” She went on to tell me that she has to be pro-choice because she once had an abortion. She went on to say that she had it before she became Catholic and that she confessed it, but she still believes that abortion should be an option in some cases like in hers: her unborn child had a high risk of a hereditary disease. Her first child was born with the disease–he has breathing problems and is confined to bed and has been wasting away for the last thirty years. Anyway, she said she couldn’t deal with another child like that, so she had the abortion. She started sounding a bit snippy, so I just said, “Oh.” Then we hugged goodbye. Now I’m freaking out like I should have made it more clear to her that her pro-choice beliefs aren’t compatible with Christianity, and here she is a Eucharistic minister. At the same time, I don’t want to belabor the issue because she gets snitty, and she’s a convert, so I don’t want to turn her away from the Church. Maybe I can just leave a bumper sticker on the seat where she sits in church that reads “You can’t be pro-choice and Catholic.” She’d probably guess it was from me because I have an anti-abortion sticker on my car. It’s eating away at me. Am I sinning if I don’t hammer this home to her? Am I responsible because here is a pro-choice Eucharistic minister giving and receiving Communion every week at Mass? I feel like I’m sinning. Help!

 

[rwoehmke]

Yes, you are correct. You are scrupulous. You told her once. Now it is up to God to convict her. Becoming a nagging friend is no way to win souls.

 

[wjp984]

Is someone in a state of mortal sin allowed to be a Eucharistic Minister?

 

[Howard_Roark]

anyone is allowed to be anything…haven’t you been keeping up?

 

[KCT]

Is someone in a state of mortal sin allowed to be a Eucharistic Minister?

Didn’t the OP say the woman in question confessed her abortion?

 

[Catholic90]

She went on to say that she had it before she became Catholic and that she confessed it, …I don’t want to turn her away from the Church. Maybe I can just leave a bumper sticker on the seat where she sits in church that reads “You can’t be pro-choice and Catholic.” She’d probably guess it was from me because I have an anti-abortion sticker on my car. It’s eating away at me. Am I sinning if I don’t hammer this home to her? Am I responsible because here is a pro-choice Eucharistic minister giving and receiving Communion every week at Mass? I feel like I’m sinning. Help!

Is someone in a state of mortal sin allowed to be a Eucharistic Minister?

Well, I do not agree with the pro-choice mindset either. BUT, she has confessed her abortion. Having an opinion on something is not necessarily a mortal sin, so I think having the OPINION of being pro-choice does not put her in a state of mortal sin.

If you “hammer this home” you may very well turn her off religion. There is some harm in that. You have stated your opinion, now LET IT GO. Pray for her, but LET IT GO.

 

[nicolep]

I suffer from scruples; as a result, I know a lot about Canon Law (unfortunately). I feel that if I don’t correct people, I am responsible for their sins. At the same time, I don’t want to turn them off. For example, I have a Church friend who is a Eucharistic minister. Today at Mass, she mentioned that she is pro-choice. This really freaked me out. I thought about it and finally, at the end of Mass, I said, “Isn’t being pro-choice a mortal sin.” She went on to tell me that she has to be pro-choice because she once had an abortion. She went on to say that she had it before she became Catholic and that she confessed it, but she still believes that abortion should be an option in some cases like in hers: her unborn child had a high risk of a hereditary disease. Her first child was born with the disease–he has breathing problems and is confined to bed and has been wasting away for the last thirty years. Anyway, she said she couldn’t deal with another child like that, so she had the abortion. She started sounding a bit snippy, so I just said, “Oh.” Then we hugged goodbye. Now I’m freaking out like I should have made it more clear to her that her pro-choice beliefs aren’t compatible with Christianity, and here she is a Eucharistic minister. At the same time, I don’t want to belabor the issue because she gets snitty, and she’s a convert, so I don’t want to turn her away from the Church. Maybe I can just leave a bumper sticker on the seat where she sits in church that reads “You can’t be pro-choice and Catholic.” She’d probably guess it was from me because I have an anti-abortion sticker on my car. It’s eating away at me. Am I sinning if I don’t hammer this home to her? Am I responsible because here is a pro-choice Eucharistic minister giving and receiving Communion every week at Mass? I feel like I’m sinning. Help!

Since you suffer from scruples, for your own well being, you should only ask these sorts of questions from your confessor. None of us here know all of the answers (although your confessor wouldn’t either, I bet he would know better than the majority of us). I really don’t want you to get the wrong impression and it cause more damage.

 

[wjp984]

Well, I do not agree with the pro-choice mindset either. BUT, she has confessed her abortion. Having an opinion on something is not necessarily a mortal sin, so I think having the OPINION of being pro-choice does not put her in a state of mortal sin.

If you “hammer this home” you may very well turn her off religion. There is some harm in that. You have stated your opinion, now LET IT GO. Pray for her, but LET IT GO.

If not sinful per se, then I will rephrase. Are Eucharistic Ministers allowed to be openly against Church teaching?

 

[Charybdis]

Since she confessed her abortion I believe she is OK with that, however, the key here is “is she open” about being pro-choice?

Having a differing opinion from the Church teaching does not automatically mean you are committing a mortal sin, but if she were to be open and trying to promote abortion, then, yes, she would be sinning…

if not and she were very private about the matter, then I don’t think so…

 

[surfinpure]

CCC 2089 “Heresy is the obstinate post-baptismal denial of some truth which must be believed with divine and catholic faith, or it is likewise an obstinate doubt concerning the same;”

Does anyone know if this requirement extends to moral teaching? If so, are heretics forbidden to serve Holy Communion?

As for reproving your friend any further, no, I woudn’t. You’ve done your duty, and you no reason at all to believe she would change if you persisted. So doing so would only drive a wedge between the two of you.

 

[Fidelia]

Since the person is an EMHC and has this viewpoint, which is against the Church’s teaching about the sanctity of life, I would let the pastor know.

 

[Holly3278]

Since the person is an EMHC and has this viewpoint, which is against the Church’s teaching about the sanctity of life, I would let the pastor know.

I second this. I would definitely let the pastor know.

 

[Jimdandy]

Perhaps it would be best to suggest that your Pastor have a “brush up” on the rules and regulations pertaining to the EMHC Ministry-that way you would not have betrayed anything that just might have been said in confidence, you would not be seen as the " tattle-teller", and everyone would benefit from the discussion of their roles and responsibilities in this important ministry.

Her thinking is in error, but you have a duty to be charitable. IMO

(…uhm… y’all weren’t really talking during Mass I hope)

 

[BasiaGirl]

She mentioned it before Mass, and I brought it up again after Mass.
Now that I have all these conflicting responses, I can safely go crazy!!!
I tried emailing my former spiritual adviser, Father Michael, but he’s been moved to another church, and the email didn’t work. He’s very orthodox, and he knows I’m scrupulous. He worked with me for years on forming my conscience, since I tend to think everything is a sin. Could a priest respond to this?

 

[nicolep]

She mentioned it before Mass, and I brought it up again after Mass.
Now that I have all these conflicting responses, I can safely go crazy!!!
I tried emailing my former spiritual adviser, Father Michael, but he’s been moved to another church, and the email didn’t work. He’s very orthodox, and he knows I’m scrupulous. He worked with me for years on forming my conscience, since I tend to think everything is a sin. Could a priest respond to this?

I’m going to repeat my earlier post. Please ignore everything everyone else has said and talk to a priest. This isn’t a good forum for advice for those who are scrupulous.

 

[cheeto1]

I agree 100% with the last poster.
But I just wanted to say that I can relate.
I too live in fear of being responsible for others’ sins if I don’t
speak up, and yet I am a quiet person.
You did speak up, and yet she may be left with the impression
that she’s changed your mind.
Have you ever helped her care for her 30- year- old son?
The reason I ask is because Jesus criticized the Pharisees
for “laying heavy burdens on people without lifting a finger to
help”. I have to ask myself if I am doing this often before I
decide what is the right thing to say.
If you ever got the opportunity to help her with her son , it would be a great blessing and honor for you.
It’s so hard to point out mistakes all the time, it’s exhausting,
because I don’t really know for sure if it’s right.
But if you get the chance to help someone, it’s joy.
Love covers over a multitude of sins.