Mortal Sin Problem

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OK… so I, unbeknown to myself, committed a sinful act that is considered by the Church to be a grave disorder… soon after I realized the gravity of this sin. Yet, for me it was only written on paper and I, though acknowledging its sinful nature, could not convince myself really that it was a mortal sin. Soon after, I fell into this fault again, and again I could not bring myself to acknowledge the true gravity of the act… 😊

The problem is, I do not want to approach confession and confess this act as a mortal sin if it is not truly an act to me, being that I fear I may commit sacrilege via approaching this sacrament without a conscience that is not truly able to confess a sin in such gravity. Also, I do not want to take Communion while being conscious of committing this sin…

I have spent time in prayer and have performed acts of “prayerful confession” and though I know these do not suffice for a true sacramental confession that could relieve mortal sin, I do think that if this act is still venial in my case since the act was not committed with true “understanding” of the gravity of the sin, I may have accomplished in achieving a level of forgiveness.

How should I act?
 
Whenever somebody uses an expression like this … "unbeknown to myself, committed a sinful act … " , then it is not a mortal sin.

And people sincerely use that expression all the time.

Three things are absolutely necessary for something to be a mortal sin:

It must be a serious sin;

You must know that it is a serious sin;

You must do it deliberately.

All three conditions MUST be satisfied for something to be considered a mortal sin.

The Church is very clear on this.

Without knowing the specifics but only based on your post, and that you are a new poster, my suggestion would be to do a search, using the search button near the top of this page, for “scrupulosity”.

Seriously.

This topic comes up repeatedly.

There is an excellent Web site and a book and a newsletter, … Scrupulous Anonymous.
I just double checked and the search button comes up with excellent previous threads on scrupulosity

Also, here is a link to one of the many excellent references that comes up.

mission.liguori.org/newsletters/scrupulosity.htm

Please make use of the Catholic Answers resources and the previous discussions and the link to the Liguori Web site which has been working with people for decades on this issue.
 
Monte, the poster’s difficulty would appear, at least from the way I’m reading it, not with the time when the gravity of the sin was ‘unbeknownst’ to them, but with the time AFTER they ‘realised’ that the Church DOES consider it grave.

THe poster (correct me if I’m wrong) is wondering whether a continuing difficulty with understanding and accepting the gravity of the sin means that the sin continues to be venial for them.

The way I would answer is this:

Firstly - someone who is non-Catholic, doesn’t to any extent accept the teaching authority of the Church, and so being reads about Church teaching on a particular issue, is a very different kettle of fish to someone who IS Catholic and thus HAS made baptismal promises and declarations reflecting their belief in the Church’s authority.

For a Catholic, mental assent (the ‘assent of faith’) is owed to Church teaching, and this is regardless of whether one can understand or ‘feel’ the logic behind the teaching. The understanding and ‘feeling’ are like icing on the cake, like the privilege granted to Thomas to put his hands on the wounds of Christ. With SOME teaching, for example the doctrine of the Trinity, true understanding and ‘feeling’ of the logic behind the teaching won’t, in my humble opinion, ever come for any of us, and so the best we can do is give the assent of faith, and humbly try our best to accept even if we don’t understand.

Secondly - If Jesus were standing in front of you telling you that what you were doing was gravely sinful, would you really say to Him ‘pardon me, Lord, but I don’t believe or think that it’s all that bad. I don’t accept your teaching on the issue, so it doesn’t bind me. Therefore, if you don’t mind, I’ll keep on doing it. Thanks for your (name removed by moderator)ut though.’

I surely hope you wouldn’t - even if He offered not a single word of reasoning for His teaching. And He didn’t on some occasions - He’s not recorded as saying anything about WHY we must take up our cross and follow Him, or WHY looking at someone with lust is equivalent to the act of adultery, for example.

Ponder what I’ve said, and then ponder His statement to the Apostles (and their successors, who you believe to be our church’s Magisterium) that ‘whoever hears you hears Me, and whoever rejects you rejects Me.’
 
OSBDiscerner said:
OK… so I, unbeknown to myself, committed a sinful act that is considered by the Church to be a grave disorder… soon after I realized the gravity of this sin. Yet, for me it was only written on paper and I, though acknowledging its sinful nature, could not convince myself really that it was a mortal sin. Soon after, I fell into this fault again, and again I could not bring myself to acknowledge the true gravity of the act… 😊

The problem is, I do not want to approach confession and confess this act as a mortal sin if it is not truly an act to me, being that I fear I may commit sacrilege via approaching this sacrament without a conscience that is not truly able to confess a sin in such gravity. Also, I do not want to take Communion while being conscious of committing this sin…

I have spent time in prayer and have performed acts of “prayerful confession” and though I know these do not suffice for a true sacramental confession that could relieve mortal sin, I do think that if this act is still venial in my case since the act was not committed with true “understanding” of the gravity of the sin, I may have accomplished in achieving a level of forgiveness.

How should I act?
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How should you act? Go to confession. You said: **Yet, for me it was only written on paper and I, though acknowledging its sinful nature, could not convince myself really that it was a mortal sin. **

You acknowledge its sinful nature but could not convince yourself that it was a mortal sin! Now, that is pride in operation. Isn’t likely that you simply cannot accept that you could commit a sin that is mortal, and are rationalizing it? I used to do that.

Now, if you really did not know, the first time you did it, that what you did was a mortal sin at the time, then you were not culpable. However, after getting to know that it was a mortal sin, because you had convinced yourself that it could not be mortal (yes, I know I am phrasing it differently from the way you did), you went ahead and committed it again and again.

Go to confession. Don’t do like I did and wait years and years before you do the right thing. You never know when you will die and have to face the Lord. Your rationalization will not do you any good then! Clearly, it is on your conscience, because you write here looking for advice - advice that, in your heart of hearts, you know yourself.
 
OSBDiscerner said:
OK… so I, unbeknown to myself, committed a sinful act that is considered by the Church to be a grave disorder… soon after I realized the gravity of this sin. Yet, for me it was only written on paper and I, though acknowledging its sinful nature, could not convince myself really that it was a mortal sin. Soon after, I fell into this fault again, and again I could not bring myself to acknowledge the true gravity of the act… 😊

The problem is, I do not want to approach confession and confess this act as a mortal sin if it is not truly an act to me, being that I fear I may commit sacrilege via approaching this sacrament without a conscience that is not truly able to confess a sin in such gravity. Also, I do not want to take Communion while being conscious of committing this sin…

I have spent time in prayer and have performed acts of “prayerful confession” and though I know these do not suffice for a true sacramental confession that could relieve mortal sin, I do think that if this act is still venial in my case since the act was not committed with true “understanding” of the gravity of the sin, I may have accomplished in achieving a level of forgiveness.

How should I act?
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You should of course go to confession. If it was venial then the priest will be able to tell you so and it will be forgiven anyway. It is good to confess venial sins as well. Not a whole laundry list of them all the time but especially the ones that we struggle with and are trying to overcome.
 
Lot’s of good advice already and here is the best:
Go to confession. Discuss this with your confessor. Don’t worry too much if you don’t grasp all of the various intricasies all at once. Such things can take much time and prayer.

The most important thing at this point is that you have been made aware of the Church’s teachings and understandings on the matter. These are not arrived at lightly or without due consideration. Generally speaking our inability to recognize or reconcile our understandings with The Church’s has to do with our personal limitations rather than that of The Church. After all The Church’s teachings have developed over 2000 years, while our understandings of things are only a few years and limited experience.

As a good Catholic it is your repsonsibility to properly form your conscience in Church teachings, which are, by extention, the teachings of Christ. So please do go and confess your fault. Speak to your confessor about it. Perhaps even meet with him or with a deacon or other knowledgable and trusted person to learn more about the matter.

Remember it is our duty to conform ourselves to Christ. Ask yourself, would Christ do this thing? Is it properly ordered to the Glory of God?

Hope some of teh above helps.

Peace
James
 
I know how you feel. Some stuff is just so enjoyable that you can’t come to terms with it being a sin. I was just like you once: I couldn’t fasten my mind to the facts! I still struggle, sometimes, to admit to myself that Lust could be a sin, but I’ve gotten better at it. I downloaded a reminder app that lives in the taskbar of my computer. Every 30 minutes or so it pops up and prevents me from accidentally lusting again. If you think it would be useful I could post a link?

So, what is your vice? The odd homosexual dalliance? A bit of a predilection for pornography? You’d do better to get it off your chest.

Hope this helps.

Oisles

xx
 
Hello everyone!

Thank you for all the wonderful advice you have given me… after reading what you have wrote and thinking carefully, I have decided that my act is still a mortal sin and thus, I plan to go to Confession tomorrow before mass…

As to what this vice is, I would rather keep it between me and my confessor if you do not mind. Not because I do not trust you or other feelings related to this, but simply because I feel what sin it I committed is now irrelevant considering I plan to confess it to a priest and get full guidance from him in the confessional.

Thank you!
 
OSBDiscerner said:
Hello everyone!

Thank you for all the wonderful advice you have given me… after reading what you have wrote and thinking carefully, I have decided that my act is still a mortal sin and thus, I plan to go to Confession tomorrow before mass…

As to what this vice is, I would rather keep it between me and my confessor if you do not mind. Not because I do not trust you or other feelings related to this, but simply because I feel what sin it I committed is now irrelevant considering I plan to confess it to a priest and get full guidance from him in the confessional.

Thank you!
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May God continue to guide you.

Peace
James
 
I think you should do what jesus taught and just kick back and drink some wine. :eek:
 
OSBDiscerner said:
As to what this vice is, I would rather keep it between me and my confessor if you do not mind. Not because I do not trust you or other feelings related to this, but simply because I feel what sin it I committed is now irrelevant considering I plan to confess it to a priest and get full guidance from him in the confessional.
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This sounds like a Trust issue to me. See, you’ve trusted the members on this board enough to advise you on the intricacies of Hell-dodging with regard to your mortal sin, but not enough to tell them what it is. Now, if I was going to accept instruction on something so soul-preservingly important, I’d make darn sure I fully trusted the source first! Just a thought.

Also, I’m pretty sure a MORTAL SIN doesn’t become irrelevant the moment you decide you plan to book yourself in for an absolution. Just look at the capital letters: it’s a big sin. You can’t forget about it, you need to remember - lest you forget. Never forget the lessons History has taught us. You should get it tatooed onto a part of your body you won’t forget to look at to remind yourself of the sin (you can start with transfers if you’re not sure which parts you look at the most - but reading between the lines of your post I think I can make a guess).

Hope this helps.

Oisles

xx

P.S. If you do go to confession, try to go AFTER mass; not before. That way, if it is anything embarrassing, you don’t have to sit there for an hour afterwards with the priest giving you mirthful glances.
 
oisles said:
This sounds like a Trust issue to me. See, you’ve trusted the members on this board enough to advise you on the intricacies of Hell-dodging with regard to your mortal sin, but not enough to tell them what it is. Now, if I was going to accept instruction on something so soul-preservingly important, I’d make darn sure I fully trusted the source first! Just a thought.
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I admire the OP for not being specific. Too often when someone posts the specific sin the conversation goes off on tangents relating to the possible intracies of that sin or some aspect of it. This way the thread remains focused.
Also, I’m pretty sure a MORTAL SIN doesn’t become irrelevant the moment you decide you plan to book yourself in for an absolution. Just look at the capital letters: it’s a big sin. You can’t forget about it, you need to remember - lest you forget. Never forget the lessons History has taught us. You should get it tatooed onto a part of your body you won’t forget to look at to remind yourself of the sin (you can start with transfers if you’re not sure which parts you look at the most - but reading between the lines of your post I think I can make a guess).
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No the sin does not become “irrelevant” but now that he has repented and “booked himself for absolution”, the healing has already begun.
As for “tattooing” I hope you are just kidding…It is far better to fight and defeat the sin and then “tattoo” (mentally) the solution (good and virtuous habits) than it is to try to permanently remember the sin itself.
P.S. If you do go to confession, try to go AFTER mass; not before. That way, if it is anything embarrassing, you don’t have to sit there for an hour afterwards with the priest giving you mirthful glances.
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My guess is that you are not Catholic…For this is really bad advice. The OP cannot receive communion with a mortal sin on his soul. He needs to go to confession before hand if at all possible.
As to the “mirthful glances”, here again you don’t seem to “get it”. The priest in saying mass is too involved to be giving “glances” at those he just saw in confession. Besides, who knows how many embarassing things a priest hears in any given session in the confessional.
Get to confession and don’t worry about it. The preist has heard it all before.

Peace
James
 
My guess is that you are not Catholic
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I didn’t think it would be on a catholic forum that my faith would be questioned so brazenly!! Is it not a sin to undermine the faith of another person (on or off a catholic forum)? Truly, I was only trying to help. The guy made the sin out to be so wonderously obscene that I didn’t want him to feel like he had put the priest out of his stride or anything; that’s why I enquired about the specifics. I wasn’t trying to suggest that his priest was unprofessional. I’m sure he’s a top notch guy.
No the sin does not become “irrelevant” but now that he has repented and “booked himself for absolution”, the healing has already begun.
As for “tattooing” I hope you are just kidding…It is far better to fight and defeat the sin and then “tattoo” (mentally) the solution (good and virtuous habits) than it is to try to permanently remember the sin itself.
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This sounds really good to me. I can tell you are a well-schooled religious mind and I look forward to reaping the benefits of your wisdom and experience… however, if I understood the plight of the writer correctly, his struggle is with remembering and/or admitting that this deliciously unspecified MORTAL SIN is actually a sin. So, for example - and to make explanation easier, let’s imagine that his sin is Squirrel Sodomy (apologies if that’s not a mortal sin?):


  1. *]He sodomised a squirrel
    *]He found out it was wrong
    *]He didn’t want it to be wrong and blocked out the knowledge
    *]He sodomised another squirrel
    *]He felt a bit guilty about it
    *]He now wants to stop sodomising squirrels, but fears he will ‘forget’ again

    Now, there is no solution to Squirrel Sodomy other than acknowleding that Squirrel Sodomy is a sin, and resolving not to do it. That IS the solution, believe me!

    Does that sound right? Like I said, I’m new to the forum and not as knowledgeable as you on these things. (I’ve read some of your other posts and they’re very impressive). I think this is an important discussion though - I think I do too much of the ‘remember the sin not the solution’ thing. I have 3 tattoos.

    Thanks for the advice, hope mine was helpful.
 
oisles said:
This sounds really good to me. I can tell you are a well-schooled religious mind and I look forward to reaping the benefits of your wisdom and experience… however, if I understood the plight of the writer correctly, his struggle is with remembering and/or admitting that this deliciously unspecified MORTAL SIN is actually a sin. So, for example - and to make explanation easier, let’s imagine that his sin is Squirrel Sodomy (apologies if that’s not a mortal sin?):


  1. *]He sodomised a squirrel
    *]He found out it was wrong
    *]He didn’t want it to be wrong and blocked out the knowledge
    *]He sodomised another squirrel
    *]He felt a bit guilty about it
    *]He now wants to stop sodomising squirrels, but fears he will ‘forget’ again

    Now, there is no solution to Squirrel Sodomy other than acknowleding that Squirrel Sodomy is a sin, and resolving not to do it. That IS the solution, believe me!

    Does that sound right? Like I said, I’m new to the forum and not as knowledgeable as you on these things. (I’ve read some of your other posts and they’re very impressive). I think this is an important discussion though - I think I do too much of the ‘remember the sin not the solution’ thing. I have 3 tattoos.

    Thanks for the advice, hope mine was helpful.
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  1. The crux of what you are saying is true, but it only goes so far and does not provide the proper “salve” or “medicine”.
    Certainly, as with any sickness (which sin is), it is important to understand the illness and to recognize the early symptoms. More important is to understand and recognize the treatment of the illness and MOST important is to understand and employ the “Preventative Measures” known to prevent the illness.

    Thus, rather than “tattooing” the illness, “tattoo” the “preventive measures”.
    Instead of concentrating on remembering the “Sin” (which causes one to think about sin), concentrate on the contrary virtue.

    Christ, in one of his parables, spoke of a demon that was driven out of a person. This demon wandered around in the wastes and, finding no other resting place returned to the person and, “finding his former dwelling place clean and swept out but empty, he went off and brought back seven more demons to dwell in the man. Thus the last condition of the man was worse than the former”. (praphrased)
    The point here is that the man, after having evil driven out of him, did not replace that evil with good. Instead he was empty and evil was able to return.
    I do not want the OP to make that mistake. Replace evil with Good. Concentrate on cultivating virtue, while also guarding against temptation to sin. In this way the evil will not find his former dwelling place empty but rather filled with the Holy Spirit.

    As for my, " well-schooled religious mind", I had to chuckle for I’ve had no training other than 8 years of Parochial School (grades 1-8), and then public high school and some 35 years away from the Church. Much of what I know I have learned from reading and from here at CAF.

    Peace
    James
 
OSBDiscerner said:
OK… so I, unbeknown to myself, committed a sinful act that is considered by the Church to be a grave disorder…
.,

How should I act?
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if your action was unbeknown to yourself then by definition it was not sinful for you. A sin has to be deliberate and committed with full knowledge for the person to be culpable. How should you act? When you sin knowingly in a grave matter get to confession as soon as possible, and never deny yourself the immense grace and healing of the sacrament.
 
if your action was unbeknown to yourself then by definition it was not sinful for you. A sin has to be deliberate and committed with full knowledge for the person to be culpable. How should you act? When you sin knowingly in a grave matter get to confession as soon as possible, and never deny yourself the immense grace and healing of the sacrament.
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You’ve understood neither the original post nor the very helpful comments posted since. The problem is that he keeps sinning even though he knows it to be wrong. Get with it, homes. I’d expect more from an elder.
 
oisles said:
The problem is that he keeps sinning even though he knows it to be wrong. Get with it, homes. I’d expect more from an elder.
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yeah? and ;the solution is the same, frequent confession and working toward conversion. YOu think the solution ;would be different if he abjectly admitted the sinfulness of the offense?
 
yeah? and ;the solution is the same, frequent confession and working toward conversion. YOu think the solution ;would be different if he abjectly admitted the sinfulness of the offense?
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Well, let’s take this step by step…

This guy explained that he ritually ignored the knowledge that squirrel sodomy was a mortal sin, and perpetuated the indiscretion: again, and again, and again.

Your suggestion is: go to confession. Well, brilll, yea. He can do that. And he can forget as quickly as he scarpered from the confessional to bop another squirrel! What this guy needs is something God can’t provide and has never leveraged: common sense and patency! He needs, plainly, to stop rogering squirrels! He needs to admit it to himself that no amount of confession will rid him of his reluctance to stare facts in the face, or stare squirrel in the back.

I think we need less of your brand of simpletonic “all for the best in the best of all possible words” approach, and more of my “stop bopping squirrels in the bum” logic. That goes for the world at large, too; not just this thread.

Think of the squirrels!
 
oisles said:
Well, let’s take this step by step…

This guy explained that he ritually ignored the knowledge that squirrel sodomy was a mortal sin, and perpetuated the indiscretion: again, and again, and again.

Your suggestion is: go to confession. Well, brilll, yea. He can do that. And he can forget as quickly as he scarpered from the confessional to bop another squirrel! What this guy needs is something God can’t provide and has never leveraged: common sense and patency! He needs, plainly, to stop rogering squirrels! He needs to admit it to himself that no amount of confession will rid him of his reluctance to stare facts in the face, or stare squirrel in the back.

I think we need less of your brand of simpletonic “all for the best in the best of all possible words” approach, and more of my “stop bopping squirrels in the bum” logic. That goes for the world at large, too; not just this thread.

Think of the squirrels!
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I think you are confusing this forum, CAF, with CL or AOL. Why are you here? Bored?
I think you will be banned by tomorrow
 
You said:
Also, I do not want to take Communion while being conscious of committing this sin…
Your conscience is reproaching you, which is a good thing, you have a good conscience (sometimes also God and our Guardian Angel approach us through our conscience; grace) now go to confession as soon as possible! When you commit mortal sin you lose one of the infused virtues and one of them is the virtue of Temperance! This virtue helps you to have a much easier control of your appetites! And for wasted graces; that you will answer to God! So go to confession!

You also said: I could not bring myself to acknowledge the true gravity of the act…
This could be a type of temptation from the devil; he wants to create in you a lax concise and reasoning to justify sin or make it less that it is or just to confuse you! Plan is simple: make you to take sacraments sacrilegiously! You have to work toward having, and forming what is called a certain conscience (knowing what is sin and what is not, and gravity it carries)!
Even if you are unsure you must to go to confession so that this sin can be forgiven be it grave or not and so that you receive advice from the priest and this will help you to form a certain conscience!
 
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