Mortification as pennance for impurity

[mbc22488]

Good Day All!

I have, for many years, struggled with sins against purity. I have begun to reach a level of self mastery over these sins and, through prayer, have begun to feel true, deep contrition for these sins. I have been to confession and have completed the penances given by the priest. I do not feel cleansed, however. I have been considering wearing a hairshirt as a form of penance. Does anyone have experience with corporal mortification or have any thoughts on doing extra pennance? Thanks!

 

[Mrs_Sally]

You should only attempt extraordinary mortification under spiritual direction. The Church has given us many ordinary penances such as fasting for a day. Have you tried a very committed practice of ordinary mortifications/penances?

If you truly feel that you must attempt something more, please seek the advice of your priest. He will direct you or can give you the name of a spiritual director.

I will be praying for you.

PS–I don’t think you can even find hairshirt these days.

 

[Joyful_1]

I would just try fasting. I mean really. Don’t just do the one full meal and two smaller ones - that isn’t fasting for me. Like go a day without food. I’m trying to get on a schedule where I do this once a week. I notice that I always do better with my probem areas when I fast like this.

Also try sleeping without a pillow or on the floor. Put rocks in your shoes. Pray kneeling for long periods of time(not while fasting - you’ll pass out. I speak from experience). Do the Stations of the Cross on your knees. Don’t drink anything, but water. Wear a rubber-band on your wrist and snap it when you feel tempted. Sit in your chair without leaning on the back. Pray the rosary every day and especially when you feel tempted. Commit yourself to acts of the will. Above all, don’t tell anyone, but your confessor what you are doing.

 

[Tybourne]

I agree with those who recommend fasting. Blessed John Cassian has this:

Although these eight vices, then, have different origins and varying operations, yet the first six – namely, gluttony, fornication, avarice, anger, sadness, and acedia (anxiety, or weariness of the heart) – are connected among themselves by a certain affinity and, so to speak, interlinking, such that the overflow of the previous one serves as the start of the next one. For from an excess of gluttony there inevitably springs fornication; from fornication, avarice; from avarice, anger; from anger, sadness; and from sadness, acedia. Therefore these must be fought against in a similar way and by the same method, and we must always attack the ones that follow by beginning with those that come before. For a tree whose width and height are harmful will more easily wither up if the roots which support it are exposed and cut beforehand, and pestilential waters will dry up when their rising source and rushing streams have been stopped up with skillful labor.
In order to conquer acedia, sadness must first be overcome; in order to drive out sadness, anger must be cast out beforehand; in order to extinguish anger, avarice must be trampled on; in order to eradicate avarice, fornication must be repressed;** in order to overthrow fornication, the vice of gluttony must be disciplined**.(emphases added)

It seems harsh to view oneself as gluttonous but in my experience, the attitude to food within our culture is very warped. Always check out any additional penances you plan with a spiritual director as the enemy can use even the means of mortification against us. Yet, be not afraid. Venture forth into fasting with the knowledge and support of a spiritual director, and always bear in mind what St Francis de Sales says:

as a general rule it is better to preserve more bodily strength than is absolutely necessary, than to damage it more than is necessary. Bodily strength can always be lowered if needful, but we cannot restore it at will.

 

[jasphair]

As I struggle with purity as well, I typically take an ice cold shower after the fact. It’s a great deterrent before as well, but I rarely am able to stop what I’m about to do. Anyways, the cold shower is a great wake up call… it reminds me that I’ve done wrong, instantly grabs my attention (due to the temperature!) and helps me to begin reconnecting with God. Oh, and it gets you clean, too!

 

[mangy_dog]

Good Day All!

I have, for many years, struggled with sins against purity. I have begun to reach a level of self mastery over these sins and, through prayer, have begun to feel true, deep contrition for these sins. I have been to confession and have completed the penances given by the priest. I do not feel cleansed, however. I have been considering wearing a hairshirt as a form of penance. Does anyone have experience with corporal mortification or have any thoughts on doing extra pennance? Thanks!

There’s a lot of good advice on this thread from from the other members.

I have been where you are now.

-Weekly Confession followed by Communion.

-Daily Rosary

-Prayer and Fasting

-I took it upon myself to learn some basic Catholic prayers in Latin. St. Michael Archangel; Angelic Salutation; Our Father; Salve Regina etc etc etc. All together 10 or 12 different prayers.

Prayer is the remedy against temptation. Lucifer and his demons flee at the reciting of the Sancte Michael Archangelo… or the Salve Regina especially in Latin.

 

[mbc22488]

Thank you all for your advice. How can I find a spiritual director to work with? My priest is to busy to play this role for me. Any suggestions?

 

[Monica4316]

Hi,

I don’t know very much about mortification and penance but here are some of my thoughts…

I agree with everyone else that it’s important to have a spiritual director in order to do such mortifications. Not only so that you wouldn’t ruin your health (as some have done), but also because the devil can start tempting you to pride and that would be even worse for your soul. I remember during Lent this year, I tried fasting and I never thought this would happen to me, but I did have temptations to pride! So we should always be careful, and focus on humility. I think that mortification is a good thing but only when done correctly and for the right reasons, and under the guidance of a spiritual director. (because when we do something under obedience, we are growing in humility, and that protects us from the attacks of the enemy)

If you don’t currently have a spiritual director but you feel like you should do some sort of penance; - you can perhaps do something else, for example… fasting, praying on your knees longer than usual, denying yourself things you like (tv, etc). You can also do spiritual mortification which is very effective: not replying to someone in an impatient tone, letting another person go first when you’re in a hurry, helping another person, choosing to do the right thing when it’s really hard and you don’t feel like it, etc. (in fact spiritual mortification is something we should all practice )

if you’ll ever get a spiritual director and he tells you that it’s alright to wear a hairshirt, (and keep in mind that he might not, in which case it’s best to obey) - there are places you can get one, for example I heard they’re made in some contemplative monasteries and convents.

I also wanted to say one more thing that came to my mind while reading your post

you say that you do not feel cleansed. Do you mean that you feel like God hasn’t forgiven you for the sin? that you’re still guilty, even after confession? OR, that you’re still in danger of committing this sin again and you’re not yet perfect in purity? there’s a distinction there, - IF by any chance you feel unforgiven, then really try to trust in God’s mercy, cause if you went to Confession, He HAS forgiven you. And in that case, no amount of penance will help you, because Christ’s sacrifice on the Cross did infinitely more to pay for our sins than any of our sacrifices or sufferings. I’m saying this just in case

there are some good reasons for doing penance however, for example: to bring “the flesh” into submission, to share in Christ’s suffering, to offer reparation for your sins or the sins of others, etc… in any case, it should be driven by the desire to love God better.

again I’m no expert but these are just things that came to my mind.

as for looking for a spiritual director…I’m in the same situation, I want to find one but I don’t know how. lol if I’ll ever find out I’ll let you know but I’m sure someone here has ideas. Have you tried asking your priest if he knows anyone who could be a spiritual director?

God bless

(btw, it really helps to devote yourself to the Blessed Mother to protect against sins of impurity just speaking from experience here.)

 

[Tybourne]

Hi again, I highly recommend reading St Francis de Sales’ words in Introduction to the Devout Life about finding a spiritual director (available freely online). Then contact your diocesan office and/or any religious communities or retreat centres nearby (watch the latter, they are often sunken in infidelity). Pray to Our Blessed Lord and the Holy Spirit and invoke any patron saints you have to help you find one. Meet with three candidates- set out your situation openly, but test before you trust. Above all, test any potential spiritual directors in prayer and with a trial period (e.g. six months) to see what fruits, if any, the direction is bringing in your life (e.g. greater temperance in sexual matters). Our Lord Bless you, St Joseph, most chaste spouse of Our Blessed Mother pray for you.

 

[Mrs_Sally]

Thank you all for your advice. How can I find a spiritual director to work with? My priest is to busy to play this role for me. Any suggestions?

Ask your priest to recommend someone. He may have a list or could direct you to the right person in the diocese to help you.

 

[Lief_Erikson]

I wonder what percentage of spiritual directors out there would ever allow one of those communicating with them to wear a hair shirt . . .

I definitely agree with St. Francis de Sales that this should only be undertaken under spiritual direction. I just hope most spiritual directors today haven’t been made lax enough by Western comforts that they find the idea too shocking to consider.

 

[Monica4316]

I wonder what percentage of spiritual directors out there would ever allow one of those communicating with them to wear a hair shirt . . .

I definitely agree with St. Francis de Sales that this should only be undertaken under spiritual direction. I just hope most spiritual directors today haven’t been made lax enough by Western comforts that they find the idea too shocking to consider.

I had the same thought… maybe spiritual directors from more traditional religious orders would though?

like the Opus Dei (I don’t even know if they become spiritual directors)

I do think it’s important to look carefully for one… and if you do find one, give it some time to see if things are working out. In the end, be obedient to the spiritual director you choose or God sends into your life, so as not to fall into pride.

 

[Lief_Erikson]

I had the same thought… maybe spiritual directors from more traditional religious orders would though?

like the Opus Dei (I don’t even know if they become spiritual directors)

I hope so.

I do think it’s important to look carefully for one… and if you do find one, give it some time to see if things are working out. In the end, be obedient to the spiritual director you choose or God sends into your life, so as not to fall into pride.

Yes, definitely. I know I would fall into pride if I tried to use a hair shirt, at least as I am now. It’s something for the spiritually mature, to give glory to God, but there are serious risks of turning it into a way of giving glory to self. Definitely something only for the spiritually mature. And if one was to wear a hair shirt, the person must keep it secret from everyone but the spiritual director.

 

[Cadian]

I recommend asking St. Maria Goretti for help.

Oh Saint Maria Goretti who, strengthened by God’s grace, did not hesitate even at the age of twelve to shed your blood and sacrifice life itself to defend your virginal purity, look graciously on the unhappy human race which has strayed far from the path of eternal salvation. Teach us all, and especially youth,with what courage and promptitude we should flee for the love of Jesus anything that could offend Him or stain our souls with sin. Obtain for us from our Lord victory in temptation, comfort in the sorrows of life, and the grace which we earnestly beg of thee (here insert intention), and may we one day enjoy with thee the imperishable glory of Heaven. Amen.

(Prayer from www.mariagoretti.org.)

– Cadian. :knight1:

 

[Michael1985]

Mortifications can certinnally have their place, but they can also be terrible cause of pride. When St Ignatius converted he took on great pennances and mortifications, not out of sorrow for his sins or an attempt to bring his passions under control, he did it to try and out do the saints.

I think the best mortification we can take on is that of love, to see Christ in the person we find so annoying and irritating. To seek out this person and spend time with them. Really try and love that person. Many take on great mortifications and it does nothing for their spiritual lives, the one who loves always grows.

I would say it is far easier to cause considerable pain to yourself then to love some people, yet which pleases Christ more.

 

[Monica4316]

I hope so.

Yes, definitely. I know I would fall into pride if I tried to use a hair shirt, at least as I am now. It’s something for the spiritually mature, to give glory to God, but there are serious risks of turning it into a way of giving glory to self. Definitely something only for the spiritually mature. And if one was to wear a hair shirt, the person must keep it secret from everyone but the spiritual director.

Mortifications can certinnally have their place, but they can also be terrible cause of pride. When St Ignatius converted he took on great pennances and mortifications, not out of sorrow for his sins or an attempt to bring his passions under control, he did it to try and out do the saints.

I think the best mortification we can take on is that of love, to see Christ in the person we find so annoying and irritating. To seek out this person and spend time with them. Really try and love that person. Many take on great mortifications and it does nothing for their spiritual lives, the one who loves always grows.

I would say it is far easier to cause considerable pain to yourself then to love some people, yet which pleases Christ more.

that’s a great idea

 

[Lief_Erikson]

Mortifications can certinnally have their place, but they can also be terrible cause of pride. When St Ignatius converted he took on great pennances and mortifications, not out of sorrow for his sins or an attempt to bring his passions under control, he did it to try and out do the saints.

Saint Peter of Alcantara has made that impossible for anyone . Plus there are all those supernatural mortifications God sometimes gives the saints, such as the stigmata or spiritual crucifixion experience, which are impossible to humanly duplicate.

I think the best mortification we can take on is that of love, to see Christ in the person we find so annoying and irritating. To seek out this person and spend time with them. Really try and love that person. Many take on great mortifications and it does nothing for their spiritual lives, the one who loves always grows.

This is the mortification everyone is called to.

I would say it is far easier to cause considerable pain to yourself then to love some people, yet which pleases Christ more.

I don’t know . . . I don’t like pain . . .