Mother and problem with Confession

[Miguelmdza]

Hi. I try to go to Confession weekly. However, my mother is really against this. She had even said she didn’t believe in Confession. She gets angry that I go to Confession and come home “too late” to go out to eat. I work from 11:30-3:00 and Confession is at 4. I get out of Confession at about 4:30. We also have this event that will take place on Good Friday (a reenactment of the Passion). She was also against this. She stated that I will not have any time for the family. So i had to get out of helping for this event. She also claims that I am a fanatic without faith. I have been thinking of the priesthood, but I feel faithless everytime she tells me things like these. I feel distant from God. I also feel like everything I am doing concerning my faith could be wrong. Any advice? I do not know what to do anymore.

 

[pensmama87]

Firstly, how old are you? If you are an adult, is it common where you live for unmarried adults to live with their parents, or would you be able to live on your own?

Unless you are regularly committing mortal sin, you do not have to go to confession so frequently. I wonder if you might be able to go once a month or so instead, or perhaps, if you are discerning the priesthood, meet with a priest for a regular appointment for spiritual direction and confession at a time that would not conflict with family time.

I would also spend time in prayer for your mom. Sometimes it is hard for people to accept that other’s faith practices are different than ours, even in the same religion. She might feel you look down on her because she does not seem as devout or is not so involved in parish activities (not unusual for a mom, we spend a lot of time on our kids!) Although she is wrong about confession, I have to say I would be miffed about my husband or one of my children (when they are older) going to confession every single week if they knew we had a family tradition that started at the same time. But we are blessed here with a lot of parishes and regular confession times any day of the week, so I know there are other options that might not be readily available to you. She might also worry that you have scruples.

 

[z_0101]

Firstly, how old are you? If you are an adult, is it common where you live for unmarried adults to live with their parents, or would you be able to live on your own?

Unless you are regularly committing mortal sin, you do not have to go to confession so frequently. I wonder if you might be able to go once a month or so instead, or perhaps, if you are discerning the priesthood, meet with a priest for a regular appointment for spiritual direction and confession at a time that would not conflict with family time.

I would also spend time in prayer for your mom. Sometimes it is hard for people to accept that other’s faith practices are different than ours, even in the same religion. She might feel you look down on her because she does not seem as devout or is not so involved in parish activities (not unusual for a mom, we spend a lot of time on our kids!) Although she is wrong about confession, I have to say I would be miffed about my husband or one of my children (when they are older) going to confession every single week if they knew we had a family tradition that started at the same time. But we are blessed here with a lot of parishes and regular confession times any day of the week, so I know there are other options that might not be readily available to you. She might also worry that you have scruples.

 

[PaulfromIowa]

I don’t know how old you are but your faith is really between you and God, not you and your mother. Does your mother run other aspects of your life? Do you have a plan for becoming an independent adult?

 

[z_0101]

I don’t know how old you are but your faith is really between you and God, not you and your mother. Does your mother run other aspects of your life? Do you have a plan for becoming an independent adult?

let us be careful here… we do not know the age of OP nor the entire situation and these may have a great deal to do with this situation. - least we forget the commandment, “honor thy father and thy mother…”

 

[bobballen_18]

I agree we need to know the age of the OP before we can really go further.

Obviously this would depend on the circumstances, and partially on the age of the OP, but I would hesitate to discourage anyone from confessing as often as they wish, unless, of course, one is only being scrupulous. But going to confession weekly does not automatically mean one is being scrupulous, even if one does not commit mortal sin weekly.

One thing that would be good advice regardless is, as pensmama mentioned, to try to speak to a priest outside the confessional for advice regarding your struggles. Those who are discerning priesthood should always try to meet and speak with a lot of priests - speaking from personal experience, this is important to one’s discernment. Although I just mentioned I don’t want to discourage the OP from going to confession weekly, if that is his only contact with the priest at his parish, then perhaps it would be good to replace 1-2 of those times with spiritual direction or just time to hang out with the priest.

Do pray for your mother though.