Fellow atheist here. I come from a Protestant family and my mother is very devout. My husband, also an atheist, was born and raised Catholic. His parents, siblings, and everyone else in his family are extremely committed Catholics.
Let’s just get this out of the way: your mom is going to be disappointed. She’s going to be scared, upset, hurt, and depending on her personality, she may take it as a personal slight against her. But admit it, if your grown children decided to join a religion that was completely at odds with your worldview and values, you’d feel the same. Such is the nature of being a parent.
Secondly, this post makes me think that you are young. When I was in my late teens/early 20’s, I was very angry with religion in general. I was outspoken and insulting about it too. (I think I lost maybe 25 facebook friends during this time period:blush
I understand. It’s very easy to see the injustices of the world, the problems that various religions and religious people have caused, and all the hatred and violence in the world and be angry. I think it’s especially common when you are raised in a religious home but spend a lot of your childhood and teen years not believing. Then, once you’re finally an adult, all that resentment of forced religion comes out. But you know what? Young adults of every faith and non faith find something about the way they grew up to be angry about. It’s normal. The trick is to be able to say “I find XYZ beliefs to be morally repugnant”, or “I think XYZ is factually incorrect” without applying those feelings onto people who do hold those beliefs. I think that ability comes with time and maturity.
My husband came up with a good analogy. Many gay young adults are very over-the-top with their sexuality. They throw themselves into “gay culture”, surround themselves with like minded people, and make every effort to display their sexuality. It’s because often times as teenagers, when everyone else is being “flaming” heterosexuals (you know teens, it’s all about the opposite sex
) they don’t get the same opportunity to wave their new found sexuality around. So when they finally can as adults, they go overboard until they come to terms with who they are and are able to comfortably incorporate it into the rest of their lives. That’s why most 30 year old gay men roll their eyes at the stereotypical 19 year old gay man. It’s been my experience that a lot of atheists kind of go through the same cycle.
It’s funny, almost all of the vocal, spiteful, angry atheists that I knew when I was going through that phase have calmed down over the last 5 years, just as I have. Marriage, kids, jobs, etc gave them perspective on people and life. Some of them are even married to very devout Christians, and one is married to a Catholic immigrant from Latin America! This was the man who didn’t even want to have religious friends! Don’t discount the possibility that this new perspective of yours will evolve further, to include more respect and open mindedness towards people of faith.
As for your mom, understand her fears and concerns, without patronizing them or belittling them. Unless you are a minor, you shouldn’t necessarily attend church with her. My husband did that with his mom for years when he would visit her, and it made it so much harder when she found out that he was an atheist, because even his very occasional mass attendance with her gave her a false hope. Of course, you know your mom better than I do and a different course of action may be better. Don’t be bullied into practicing or espousing things you don’t believe, but don’t subject her to your beliefs unless she presses. Don’t talk about religion unless you have to and be sure to treat each other with unconditional love and respect. My mom is the second closest person in the world to me, and we make it work despite our religious differences. Maybe in a few years when your attitude is a little more calm and she’s come to terms with your atheism, you can revisit the issue. But once again, only you know if that’s a good idea.
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