Mother in Law

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ymartinez1015 said:
You are right, it is not my fault however she will send her son text messages guilt tripping her son and she will make comments such as “you know you have a mother .” Yes, my husband knows he does. This is becoming overwhelming.
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I have to ask.

Are you easily overwhelmed? Maybe border on the overly dramatic?
 
PhiloMed said:
I have to ask.

Are you easily overwhelmed? Maybe border on the overly dramatic?
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No, I am easily overwhelmed however my husband and I are going through a lot of changes and challenging times in our lives right now. No, I am not overly dramatic, I see the big picture.
 
ymartinez1015 said:
No, I am easily overwhelmed however my husband and I are going through a lot of changes and challenging times in our lives right now. No, I am not overly dramatic, I see the big picture.
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It’s not coming through here…
 
ymartinez1015 said:
What do you mean?
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There is nothing, and I mean nothing that you have posted about this MIL that sounds overwhelming, all that terrible, horrible, or overbearing in any way. She sounds like 90% of other MIL’s with typical MIL quirks that could be, should be, and are managed by their son/daughter and nary given another thought by the son or daughter in law.
 
ymartinez1015 said:
I have posted a lot about my MIL lately. I feel like she is already causing tension and drama from far away and it is causing me unnecessary stress. I am not in a place to feel stressed as my husband and I are currently TTC our fourth child. She posted on my FB page how she is looking forward to challenging me to a Paella cooking challenge ( I am from Spain)and how she is looking forward to being in my kitchen. She said she will gladly judge my cooking. While this may not seem like nothing to most of you, to me it is a big deal. Advice would be greatly appreciated.
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Sent PM
 
ymartinez1015 said:
I have posted a lot about my MIL lately. I feel like she is already causing tension and drama from far away and it is causing me unnecessary stress. I am not in a place to feel stressed as my husband and I are currently TTC our fourth child. She posted on my FB page how she is looking forward to challenging me to a Paella cooking challenge ( I am from Spain)and how she is looking forward to being in my kitchen. She said she will gladly judge my cooking. While this may not seem like nothing to most of you, to me it is a big deal. Advice would be greatly appreciated.
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I don’t think that’s bad.

I read Sophia Loren’s autobiography recently, she had challenged her eggplant recipe against the one of Omar Sharif’s mother.

It was supposed to be a fun time.

Your MIL obviously thinks your paella is good. Otherwise she wouldn’t challenge you.
 
ymartinez1015 said:
You are right, it is not my fault however she will send her son text messages guilt tripping her son and she will make comments such as “you know you have a mother .” Yes, my husband knows he does. This is becoming overwhelming.
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Your husband should stop sharing those text messages with you if they are distressing you that much. If it isn’t overwhelming him, then it shouldn’t be bothering you so much.
 
ymartinez1015 said:
I have posted a lot about my MIL lately. I feel like she is already causing tension and drama from far away and it is causing me unnecessary stress. I am not in a place to feel stressed as my husband and I are currently TTC our fourth child. She posted on my FB page how she is looking forward to challenging me to a Paella cooking challenge ( I am from Spain)and how she is looking forward to being in my kitchen. She said she will gladly judge my cooking. While this may not seem like nothing to most of you, to me it is a big deal. Advice would be greatly appreciated.
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Are you upset because your MIL is making you feel like she took better care of your husband than you? I remeber the thread where you said that she commented on his bedtime, and how he never used to do things like that. And now she is hinting at being a better cook?

Don’t let her veiled judgements get to you-if you think that is what she is doing. You don’t need her approval for silly things.
 
mommy_k said:
Are you upset because your MIL is making you feel like she took better care of your husband than you? I remeber the thread where you said that she commented on his bedtime, and how he never used to do things like that. And now she is hinting at being a better cook?

Don’t let her veiled judgements get to you-if you think that is what she is doing. You don’t need her approval for silly things.
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If the OP were to ask her husband who he would rather live with, I’m sure his emphatic response would reassure her.
 
BlueEyedLady said:
If the OP were to ask her husband who he would rather live with, I’m sure his emphatic response would reassure her.
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Yes. It is also very hard to deal with veiled insults if this is what the MIL is doing—or MIL is just clueless.
 
Or maybe the OP is over-reacting.
We’re only getting one side of the story here on the big old anonymous internet.
 
mommy_k said:
Yes. It is also very hard to deal with veiled insults if this is what the MIL is doing—or MIL is just clueless.
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The best way to deal with veiled insults is to pretend they don’t exist. Nothing is more irritating than to insult someone when they smile sweetly and don’t “get it”.

There is power in not allowing someone push your buttons. Turn the switch off. No one can successfully push a button that is not turned on.
 
mommy_k said:
Yes. It is also very hard to deal with veiled insults if this is what the MIL is doing—or MIL is just clueless.
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I believe my MIL is a bit oblivious and aware of what she is saying. Often times it appears as though no one will ever take care of her son like she has and she will.
 
ymartinez1015 said:
I believe my MIL is a bit oblivious and aware of what she is saying. Often times it appears as though no one will ever take care of her son like she has and she will.
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All mothers think that - and especially moms of boys/men. She rarely sees her son. Why is it so important to you to make it clear to her that he’s better off with you than he was with her? Moms and wives are apples and oranges to an extreme degree. Why are you getting caught up in the comparison?
 
BlueEyedLady said:
All mothers think that - and especially moms of boys/men. She rarely sees her son. Why is it so important to you to make it clear to her that he’s better off with you than he was with her? Moms and wives are apples and oranges to an extreme degree. Why are you getting caught up in the comparison?
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FTR, her snarky comments started all of this. We all have a place and role.
 
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