Mother scaring me out of the Priesthood?

[Skeptic92]

Oh, okay. Honestly, being sent to Rome seems like the obvious option, since it is after all, Rome.

Rome houses the vast majority of Pontifical Universities (I think there are a few else where in the world) run by the Church, in which laity and Clergy (and Seminarians in fact) can study. Not all Priests go on to Rome to study, after all why would they? Some priests know their vocation, and know they are not called to take the Bishopric, so why would they go for a qualification that is required of Bishops (apart from the STL of course, as some Priests know they are called to teach, so they require a Licentiate)

 

[DianaCC]

…my mother … She … she … she … self-esteem … she … she…

ATeut, in my opinion you presently lack the emotional maturity to become a priest. I recommend you set the pursuit aside completely until you grow up a lot more, and when your mother is no longer partially controlling you, then you will be free to do as you please. Keep in mind that a thirst for liberation from mom’s clutches can be mis-discerned as a calling to the priesthood. Don’t repeat other men’s mistakes in that regard, because you stand poised to shipwreck yourself as well as those entrusted to your spiritual care. And never forget that the sacrament of order confers the ability to confect the Bd. Sacrament and the authority to absolve; it does not, and was never intended to, confer emotional maturity.

 

[Credo_in_Deum]

I’ve been thinking a lot about the Priesthood, and now that I’ve gathered enough self-esteem to think I could do it, I think my mother is trying to scare me out of it. She always mentions things I used to be worried about out of the blue. I’ll just be sitting down and watching a show and she’ll suddenly say something like, “I bet Seminary has a lot of psychology classes…” and things that used to make me think it was impossible for me to get through it. Is she trying to scare me out of the Priesthood? It seems that now that I’ve finally gained some self-esteem about myself she’s trying to tear it back down. What do I do if she is? And, most importantly, why?

If I were you I wouldn’t let feelings of inadequacy worry you. I believe the only apostle that had the credentials to be a teacher was Judas and look were that got him; the pride before the fall. Plus if the Bible has shown me anything it’s that God prefers to work amazing things through humble individuals that know they’re weak but trust in Him. When you think about it no man is really worthy of the priesthood.

 

[Will_S]

ATeut, in my opinion you presently lack the emotional maturity to become a priest. I recommend you set the pursuit aside completely until you grow up a lot more…

In my opinion this is going way too far. The man is 18 years old. He’s got a lot of discerning to do and education to acquire before he will be anywhere close to the priesthood. It’s not too early to talk to a vocations director or formation director. That’s just the beginning of a long path that will not only help determine whether he has a vocation, but will also help him mature.

 

[Melchior_1]

In my opinion this is going way too far. The man is 18 years old. He’s got a lot of discerning to do and education to acquire before he will be anywhere close to the priesthood. It’s not too early to talk to a vocations director or formation director. That’s just the beginning of a long path that will not only help determine whether he has a vocation, but will also help him mature.

Agreed. 18 years of age is a good time to start seriously thinking about what you want to do with the rest of your life, vocations or no vocations.

Joining the Lay Dominicans is a five or six year process, and that’s “just” for laymen. The Secular Franciscans have an ample formation period as well. For the Priesthood it’s even more. So, personally, I think there’s no harm in looking into things with a good vocations/formation director.

A long time between 18 years old and 24, after all.

 

[Annabelle_Marie]

In my opinion this is going way too far. The man is 18 years old. He’s got a lot of discerning to do and education to acquire before he will be anywhere close to the priesthood. It’s not too early to talk to a vocations director or formation director. That’s just the beginning of a long path that will not only help determine whether he has a vocation, but will also help him mature.

Agreed…its not to early for him to think about it. And if it’s his vocation…then the Holy Spirit will guide him.

 

[ATeutonicKnight]

ATeut, in my opinion you presently lack the emotional maturity to become a priest. I recommend you set the pursuit aside completely until you grow up a lot more, and when your mother is no longer partially controlling you, then you will be free to do as you please. Keep in mind that a thirst for liberation from mom’s clutches can be mis-discerned as a calling to the priesthood. Don’t repeat other men’s mistakes in that regard, because you stand poised to shipwreck yourself as well as those entrusted to your spiritual care. And never forget that the sacrament of order confers the ability to confect the Bd. Sacrament and the authority to absolve; it does not, and was never intended to, confer emotional maturity.

Excuse me, but we’ve never met, and you have no right to tell me that I lack “emotional maturity”. I don’t even understand what you mean by that. I’m sorry, but it is very immature to judge someone off of one forum. I’ve been told by the Bishop and four Priests that I have a vocation to the Religious life.

 

[ATeutonicKnight]

Excuse me, but we’ve never met, and you have no right to tell me that I lack “emotional maturity”. I don’t even understand what you mean by that. I’m sorry, but it is very immature to judge someone off of one forum. I’ve been told by the Bishop and four Priests, as well as many Vocations Directors from Religious communities (Some of those being Priests as well), that I have a vocation to the Religious life. I’m not going to disregard the words of holy men because you assume off of one post that I lack “emotional maturity”. This is a common occurrence that happens daily. Imagine if every Priest and Religious was told not to pursue their vocation because their mother didn’t want them to join the Religious life?

 

[ATeutonicKnight]

ATeut, in my opinion you presently lack the emotional maturity to become a priest. I recommend you set the pursuit aside completely until you grow up a lot more, and when your mother is no longer partially controlling you, then you will be free to do as you please. Keep in mind that a thirst for liberation from mom’s clutches can be mis-discerned as a calling to the priesthood. Don’t repeat other men’s mistakes in that regard, because you stand poised to shipwreck yourself as well as those entrusted to your spiritual care. And never forget that the sacrament of order confers the ability to confect the Bd. Sacrament and the authority to absolve; it does not, and was never intended to, confer emotional maturity.

Secondly, you make quotes of words I say, so it’s almost as if you’re saying that I couldn’t be a Priest because my grammar (Which I have gotten a lot of compliments on) is holding me back.

Thirdly, I love my Mother, and your reasoning is not the reason at all. I’ve felt this calling since I was fourteen. It has never had anything to do with my mother. It had to do with feeling a call from God.

 

[DianaCC]

Excuse me, but we’ve never met, and you have no right to tell me that I lack “emotional maturity”. I don’t even understand what you mean by that. I’m sorry, but it is very immature to judge someone off of one forum. I’ve been told by the Bishop and four Priests that I have a vocation to the Religious life.

I stand by what I said. I don’t mean to be rude, but your knee-jerk defensiveness ironically ends up proving my point beyond a shadow of a doubt.

But with regard to the opinions of those five you mentioned, don’t confuse the polite, encouraging optimism of others with evidence of a calling.

 

[ATeutonicKnight]

I stand by what I said. I don’t mean to be rude, but your knee-jerk defensiveness ironically ends up proving my point beyond a shadow of a doubt.

But with regard to the opinions of those five you mentioned, don’t confuse the polite, encouraging optimism of others with evidence of a calling.

Tell me, miss Diana, are you dating someone? Are you possibly married? What if someone told you that you weren’t going to make it? You would feel very defensive of the relationship, would you not? Than why wouldn’t I feel defensive if you tell me I have no vocation?

And thank you for your (name removed by moderator)ut, but it was not polite, encouraging optimism, it was their (name removed by moderator)ut on me. I asked “Do I have a vocation to this?”, in which they all replied, “Yes”.

From what I understand from your two posts that I have ever read, you don’t have a vocation to anything, even though I know nothing about you and your comments haven’t given me much about you. See the sense that you make?

For a long time, I’ve been told that I’m a good judge of character. I think you are a good person, but you need to work on yourself, just as everyone (Including me) needs to work on themselves. You should work on the bit of ego that I sense in you, as I will work on patience.

I will pray for you and your problem with judging others, as I will pray for myself that I may have patience with those who make statements that annoy me.

 

[DianaCC]

Secondly, … Thirdly,…

Your post was all about your mother. I whittled it down to the pronouns to emphasize that. And also to highlight the red-flag issue of “self-esteem”. If your mother still has that much power over your emotional well-being, then in my opinion you do not have what it takes to be a priest. (Yet.)

The Congregation for Catholic Education’s 2005 document Instruction Concerning the Criteria for the Discernment of Vocations with regard to Persons with Homosexual Tendencies in view of their Admission to the Seminary and to Holy Orders had homosexual candidates in mind, but what it says about affective maturity applies to all candidates because affective maturity is absolutely essential to spiritual fatherhood:

• “…the entire life of the sacred minister must be animated by the gift of his whole person to the Church and by an authentic pastoral charity. The candidate to the ordained ministry, therefore, must reach affective maturity. Such maturity will allow him to relate correctly to both men and women, developing in him a true sense of spiritual fatherhood towards the Church community that will be entrusted to him.”

Pope Benedict expanded on this in an address he gave to Polish clergy in 2006:

• “Living under the influence of totalitarianism may have given rise to an unconscious tendency to hide under an external mask, and in consequence to become somewhat hypocritical. Clearly this does not promote authentic fraternal relations and may lead to an exaggerated concentration on oneself. In reality, we grow in affective maturity when our hearts adhere to God. Christ needs priests who are mature, virile, capable of cultivating an authentic spiritual paternity. For this to happen, priests need to be honest with themselves, open with their spiritual director and trusting in divine mercy.”

Of course he was speaking to men who were living in a recently-communist culture, but he sets an “unconscious tendency to hide under an external mask”, a failure of “authentic fraternal relations”, and most importantly an “exaggerated concentration on oneself” in opposition to affective maturity. This tells us what he means by affective maturity: it is a lack of external masks, it is a promotion of authentic fraternal relations, and it is above all an avoidance of concentration on oneself.

Both Benedict and the CCE were echoing John Paul II’s Pastores Dabo Vobis:

• “In order that his ministry may be humanly as credible and acceptable as possible, it is important that the priest should mold his human personality in such a way that it becomes a bridge and not an obstacle for others … the priest should be able to know the depths of the human heart, to perceive difficulties and problems, to make meeting and dialogue easy, to create trust and cooperation, to express serene and objective judgments.”
• “Future priests should therefore cultivate a series of human qualities, not only out of proper and due growth and realization of self, but also with a view to the ministry. These qualities are needed for them to be balanced people, strong and free, capable of bearing the weight of pastoral responsibilities. They need to be educated to love the truth, to be loyal, to respect every person, to have a sense of justice, to be true to their word, to be genuinely compassionate, to be men of integrity and, especially, to be balanced in judgment and behavior.”
• “Of special importance is the capacity to relate to others. This is truly fundamental for a person who is called to be responsible for a community and to be a “man of communion.” This demands that the priest not be arrogant, or quarrelsome, but affable, hospitable, sincere in his words and heart, prudent and discreet, generous and ready to serve, capable of opening himself to clear and brotherly relationships and of encouraging the same in others, and quick to understand, forgive and console (cf. 1 Tm. 3:1-5; Ti. 1:7-9).”
• "Human maturity, and in particular affective maturity, requires a clear and strong training in freedom, which expresses itself in convinced and heartfelt obedience to the “truth of one’s own being, to the “meaning” of one’s own existence, that is to the “sincere gift of self” as the way and fundamental content of the authentic realization of self. Thus understood, freedom requires the person to be truly master of oneself, determined to fight and overcome the different forms of selfishness and individualism which threaten the life of each one, ready to open out to others, generous in dedication and service to one’s neighbor. This is important for the response that will have to be given to the vocation, and in particular to the priestly vocation, and for faithfulness to it and to the commitments connected with it, even in times of difficulty. On this educational journey toward a mature, responsible freedom, the community life of the seminary can provide help.”

[continued]

 

[DianaCC]

[continued]

What Pope John Paul is basically saying, is if you’re going to be believable as a priest, you need to be able, among other things, to make meeting and dialogue easy without displaying knee-jerk defensiveness; you need to be capable of calm, objective judgments without protesting that someone has never met you. You need to have a balanced personality and the strength and freedom to meet your priestly responsibilities towards those under your care without your self-esteem being vulnerable to your mother’s darts and arrows. And when the onslaught comes, and it always will, and your mother will be the least of your problems, from the moment your ordinary takes his hands off your head, you need to be enough in control of yourself and your reactions that you avoid erroneous judgments and erratic behavior. We don’t need any more arrogant or quarrelsome clerics; we need ones who are, among other things, sincere, prudent, discreet, open priests who are motivated to understand the points of view of people who, far from trashing them personally, are in reality giving them needed and important advice on serious matters. He is saying that you cannot be a good priest unless you are truly free, and that includes freedom from parental dominance, so that you can truly obey the ones you ought to be obeying. You cannot master yourself if you are, for example, trembling under the emotional hegemony of your mother, because in that condition you can only hope to be a selfish individualist incapable of generosity, openness, and service to others. Finally, living in a seminary community, although it’s no cure for immaturity, can help foster growth, but … that’s only if the other men are affectively mature too, and as we all know, that is never guaranteed.

So as you can see, your command of the English language has nothing to do with it.

Becoming a priest is a weightier decision than getting married. Do *not *base the decision on a feeling, especially one that has a likely psychological connection with interfamilial problems. Do *not *neglect the natural means the Church has made available for the sake of informing your discernment process.

 

[JReducation]

I know. I’m almost 100% sure I’m called to it though. I’m just worried that my mother doesn’t want me to.

That’s the first thing you have to change. We are never sure that we are called until we’re dead. We can be sure that we want to answer, if we’re called.

Ultiamtely, the only person who can say that you’re called to the priesthood is your superior. If he says no, then you’re not called. His voice is absolute and final.

I’m a little confused. You were talking about becoming a religious brother. You never mentioned the priesthood. Now you’re talking priesthood. Maybe mom is picking up on your fluctuations.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the Priesthood, and now that I’ve gathered enough self-esteem to think I could do it, I think my mother is trying to scare me out of it. She always mentions things I used to be worried about out of the blue. I’ll just be sitting down and watching a show and she’ll suddenly say something like, “I bet Seminary has a lot of psychology classes…” and things that used to make me think it was impossible for me to get through it. Is she trying to scare me out of the Priesthood? It seems that now that I’ve finally gained some self-esteem about myself she’s trying to tear it back down. What do I do if she is? And, most importantly, why?

This does not sound like discouragement. Having been a vocation director and a superior and now formator, these are valid statements. There are psychology courses, math courses, history courses, science courses, language courses that you have to take to be a priest. You said that you’re home schooled. You also posted that you did not make it through the Seton Home Schooling Program because you refused to do the work and your mother was not able to send in your notebooks to them.

Well, Mom has some legitimate concerns here. If you refused to do the Seton work, which was at your pace, she may be very concerned how you’re going to handle sitting in a classroom 18 hours a week and then sitting in your room another 36 hours a week. Seminary and religious formation is not homeschooling. We sit through real classes. We have papers with due dates. We take examinations. We have to fit all of this in between prayer, community recreation and meals, manual labor and apostolic work. We do take many courses that we don’t like. I hated, absolutely hated moral theology. It was the hardest course I ever took. I was stuck with four semesters of it. You learn to bite the bullet.

If Mom knows you learning style, your interestes and your attitude toward education, because she has been your teacher, then you had better pay attention to her. She is reflecting some reality here. She is telling you that there is going to be a change and she’s trying to get you to think about it. You can sit there an blame here for sabotaging you or you can be grateful that you have a Mom who has her feeet on the ground and it going to point out some realities that you will have to face. It is better to think about it ahead of time and prepare yourself, than walk in totally unsuspecting and be shocked and miserable.

One of the problems that home shcoolers face when they go to college, especially seminary, is culture shock. Many do not, because their parents prepare them well for what is to come. Those whose parents never told them that the academic word oiut there as different are in a state of shock when they first arrive.

Instead of being scared, just ask you mom what she thinks it may be like and what she thinks you can do now to be ready for the changes. Moms can be very wise people when you give them a chance.

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF

 

[JReducation]

STB=Bachelor of Sacred Theology (Sacrae Theologiae Baccalaureus)
STL= Licentiate of Sacred Theology, this is your license to teach Sacred Theology in any Catholic/Pontifical University or Seminary it stands for Sacrae Theologiae Licentiatus
STD=Doctor of Sacred Theology, it is a PhD in Sacred Theology basically,it stands for Sacrae Theologiae Doctor, and gives the holder the title Doctor, every Bishop has a doctorate in either Philosophy Sacred Theology or Canon Law.

You will only attain an STB at Seminary, your Bishop sends you for the other two, or you request to be sent to Rome to further your studies.

Not anymore. Now you must get either an MA in theology or an M.Div. Afther the Master’s, which is four-years, you can ask for permission to get the ecclesial degrees, STB, STL,STD. I just went straight through. That’s what most of us who have doctorates to. Otherwise, you havae to take comprehensive examinations for each degree and write theses etc. It’s a pain.

Oh, okay. Honestly, being sent to Rome seems like the obvious option, since it is after all, Rome.

Actually not. There are many pontifical universities and schools of theology outside of Rome. More are outside of Rome than in Rome.

There are three in the USA, one in Quito, Ecuador, one in Bogota Colombia, two in Spain, one in Belgium, one in Germany, one in Malta of all places, one in Jerusalem, one in Jordan, one in Canada, one in Paris (St. Bonaventure and St. Thomas Aquinas taught there), several in different parts of Italy.

The Roman schools form the largest consortium. That’s why it’s so popular. YOu have the Angelicum, Holy Cross, Gregorian, North American,and Seraphicum within walking distance of each other. There are many more resources. The only other place that compares to it is Catholic Unviersity of America in DC. It too is pontifical and has 42 colleges around it, including one of the best schools of scripture in the world.

Spain has the best schools of canon law. Belgium the best in moral theology and Malta in Franciscan Theology.

Most people who go to these schools are going to teach or do research. These are not for parish priests or brothers who teach high school. I spent only four years in parish work. The rest of my time has been in formation work, seminary and university. Now I work for pro-life, but it’s doing education.

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF

 

[Julia_Mae]

I will pray for you and your problem with judging others, as I will pray for myself that I may have patience with those who make statements that annoy me.

Well, you’re going to need a lot of that as a priest. Or anyone, but priests need patience far beyond Job. BTW - it’s perfectly okay to be not yet fully mature. I was just thinking, you should take your mom to lunch. Just the two of you. Tell her whatever happens, she’ll always be your mom, you’ll always be her son.

I will tell you something I know from anthropology if the other men here will not get all huffy please. Males (generally) develop complex abstract thinking later than women. It’s just a biological deal. By the time you are 25, philosophy is going to seem like a piece o’ cake. Probably. Iirc, you should get most of that by 21-22. Try to avoid becoming a scrupulous fideist until it kicks in.

 

[Julia_Mae]

This does not sound like discouragement. Having been a vocation director and a superior and now formator, these are valid statements. There are psychology courses, math courses, history courses, science courses, language courses that you have to take to be a priest. You said that you’re home schooled. You also posted that you did not make it through the Seton Home Schooling Program because you refused to do the work and your mother was not able to send in your notebooks to them.

Well, Mom has some legitimate concerns here. If you refused to do the Seton work, which was at your pace, she may be very concerned how you’re going to handle sitting in a classroom 18 hours a week and then sitting in your room another 36 hours a week. Seminary and religious formation is not homeschooling. We sit through real classes. We have papers with due dates. We take examinations. We have to fit all of this in between prayer, community recreation and meals, manual labor and apostolic work.

I think you have very valid points here, especially as you have this background information.

I will state the other side. Homeschooling is just a bad way for some to learn. The structure and discipline of seminary, or military, really helps some people blossom. I completely floated through highschool doing as little as possible and getting away with it. I was considered very lazy by those who knew me. Then I got on the cops and went to the Police Academy. It was great! Everyone thought I’d never make it to the first day because I couldn’t get out of bed that early. But I loved that structure and demand and discipline. Then I went to school to study something I really wanted to learn and was a 4.0 student in my major and a 3.8 overall.

I am me and not OP, I’m just saying the one may not be a predictor of the other. Or it might.

Personally, I think anyone who is 18 and thinking this way needs to get out, get a job and a place of their own, support themselves and be in the world for a bit. What do you think?

(After reading your description of seminary life, in my next life, I want to do that! - oh wait - i don’t get a next life - oh well…)

 

[ATeutonicKnight]

Your post was all about your mother. I whittled it down to the pronouns to emphasize that. And also to highlight the red-flag issue of “self-esteem”. If your mother still has that much power over your emotional well-being, then in my opinion you do not have what it takes to be a priest. (Yet.)

The Congregation for Catholic Education’s 2005 document Instruction Concerning the Criteria for the Discernment of Vocations with regard to Persons with Homosexual Tendencies in view of their Admission to the Seminary and to Holy Orders had homosexual candidates in mind, but what it says about affective maturity applies to all candidates because affective maturity is absolutely essential to spiritual fatherhood:

• “…the entire life of the sacred minister must be animated by the gift of his whole person to the Church and by an authentic pastoral charity. The candidate to the ordained ministry, therefore, must reach affective maturity. Such maturity will allow him to relate correctly to both men and women, developing in him a true sense of spiritual fatherhood towards the Church community that will be entrusted to him.”

Pope Benedict expanded on this in an address he gave to Polish clergy in 2006:

• “Living under the influence of totalitarianism may have given rise to an unconscious tendency to hide under an external mask, and in consequence to become somewhat hypocritical. Clearly this does not promote authentic fraternal relations and may lead to an exaggerated concentration on oneself. In reality, we grow in affective maturity when our hearts adhere to God. Christ needs priests who are mature, virile, capable of cultivating an authentic spiritual paternity. For this to happen, priests need to be honest with themselves, open with their spiritual director and trusting in divine mercy.”

Of course he was speaking to men who were living in a recently-communist culture, but he sets an “unconscious tendency to hide under an external mask”, a failure of “authentic fraternal relations”, and most importantly an “exaggerated concentration on oneself” in opposition to affective maturity. This tells us what he means by affective maturity: it is a lack of external masks, it is a promotion of authentic fraternal relations, and it is above all an avoidance of concentration on oneself.

Both Benedict and the CCE were echoing John Paul II’s Pastores Dabo Vobis:

• “In order that his ministry may be humanly as credible and acceptable as possible, it is important that the priest should mold his human personality in such a way that it becomes a bridge and not an obstacle for others … the priest should be able to know the depths of the human heart, to perceive difficulties and problems, to make meeting and dialogue easy, to create trust and cooperation, to express serene and objective judgments.”
• “Future priests should therefore cultivate a series of human qualities, not only out of proper and due growth and realization of self, but also with a view to the ministry. These qualities are needed for them to be balanced people, strong and free, capable of bearing the weight of pastoral responsibilities. They need to be educated to love the truth, to be loyal, to respect every person, to have a sense of justice, to be true to their word, to be genuinely compassionate, to be men of integrity and, especially, to be balanced in judgment and behavior.”
• “Of special importance is the capacity to relate to others. This is truly fundamental for a person who is called to be responsible for a community and to be a “man of communion.” This demands that the priest not be arrogant, or quarrelsome, but affable, hospitable, sincere in his words and heart, prudent and discreet, generous and ready to serve, capable of opening himself to clear and brotherly relationships and of encouraging the same in others, and quick to understand, forgive and console (cf. 1 Tm. 3:1-5; Ti. 1:7-9).”
• "Human maturity, and in particular affective maturity, requires a clear and strong training in freedom, which expresses itself in convinced and heartfelt obedience to the “truth of one’s own being, to the “meaning” of one’s own existence, that is to the “sincere gift of self” as the way and fundamental content of the authentic realization of self. Thus understood, freedom requires the person to be truly master of oneself, determined to fight and overcome the different forms of selfishness and individualism which threaten the life of each one, ready to open out to others, generous in dedication and service to one’s neighbor. This is important for the response that will have to be given to the vocation, and in particular to the priestly vocation, and for faithfulness to it and to the commitments connected with it, even in times of difficulty. On this educational journey toward a mature, responsible freedom, the community life of the seminary can provide help.”

[continued]

I still have no idea what this has to do about me nor what your point is. Yes, you must be fully mature. You have told me time and time again that I am not fully mature, yet you have not given the time to explain why I am not. Yes, what my mother says about me I take to heart. Why? Because she’s my mother. If your mother said something about you you would take it to heart just like every other human being on the planet. We care about what our mothers say because they’re our mothers.

 

[ATeutonicKnight]

That’s the first thing you have to change. We are never sure that we are called until we’re dead. We can be sure that we want to answer, if we’re called.

Ultiamtely, the only person who can say that you’re called to the priesthood is your superior. If he says no, then you’re not called. His voice is absolute and final.

I’m a little confused. You were talking about becoming a religious brother. You never mentioned the priesthood. Now you’re talking priesthood. Maybe mom is picking up on your fluctuations.

This does not sound like discouragement. Having been a vocation director and a superior and now formator, these are valid statements. There are psychology courses, math courses, history courses, science courses, language courses that you have to take to be a priest. You said that you’re home schooled. You also posted that you did not make it through the Seton Home Schooling Program because you refused to do the work and your mother was not able to send in your notebooks to them.

Well, Mom has some legitimate concerns here. If you refused to do the Seton work, which was at your pace, she may be very concerned how you’re going to handle sitting in a classroom 18 hours a week and then sitting in your room another 36 hours a week. Seminary and religious formation is not homeschooling. We sit through real classes. We have papers with due dates. We take examinations. We have to fit all of this in between prayer, community recreation and meals, manual labor and apostolic work. We do take many courses that we don’t like. I hated, absolutely hated moral theology. It was the hardest course I ever took. I was stuck with four semesters of it. You learn to bite the bullet.

If Mom knows you learning style, your interestes and your attitude toward education, because she has been your teacher, then you had better pay attention to her. She is reflecting some reality here. She is telling you that there is going to be a change and she’s trying to get you to think about it. You can sit there an blame here for sabotaging you or you can be grateful that you have a Mom who has her feeet on the ground and it going to point out some realities that you will have to face. It is better to think about it ahead of time and prepare yourself, than walk in totally unsuspecting and be shocked and miserable.

One of the problems that home shcoolers face when they go to college, especially seminary, is culture shock. Many do not, because their parents prepare them well for what is to come. Those whose parents never told them that the academic word oiut there as different are in a state of shock when they first arrive.

Instead of being scared, just ask you mom what she thinks it may be like and what she thinks you can do now to be ready for the changes. Moms can be very wise people when you give them a chance.

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF

Thank you for your (name removed by moderator)ut, Brother, but I feel I may have given the wrong picture in past posts. I am a self-initiator: Nobody tells me to do school. It is completely self-will that gets the job done. Why? My parents tested me, to see if they would have to force me down to do school. At first, they did, but eventually, once I saw the importance of education, they didn’t need to anymore. Everyday I wake up and do school completely out of self-will.

As for your question about me becoming a Religious Brother, I’m thinking of being both, but I’m looking at both options. They both look very joyous, and it is hard to discern which one is for me. I never mentioned it before, but I have thought of becoming a Diocesan Priest for a very long time. I’m sorry for never letting you in on that important bit of information.

I have no problem sitting in a classroom for that long, in a fixed period of time. In fact, I wish I had the opportunity to do that now. But I don’t. This is the situation the Lord has given me and I will do the best that I can with it.

And trust me, I’ve learned to bite the bullet. By simply accepting the fact that I would one day do the GED test, I decided to bite the bullet. I really didn’t want to, but I knew that I had to. Trust me, there are a million more things I would rather do than learn about cells.

 

[LoyalViews]

I liked what Peggy in Burien said, about your mother playing the devil’s advocate. Maybe she really is supportive of you becoming a Priest! She’s just making sure…

It was remarked that you’re not emotional mature, well, one can’t know that through a computer screen. Personally, I think from your posts, you have shown very much maturity, and a great desire for the Priesthood.

Also, I’m praying for you The Church needs good, solid Priests!

God Bless :byzsoc: