Mother wants me to go with her to her church

[brycelaliberte]

For the last few weeks now, I have been attending Mass at a local Catholic Church. This has normally been accepted by both my parents; though now my mother suddenly wants me to go with her to her church, or my previous church.

My parents are divorced, so there is no problem with my dad.

She is making a big issue out of my going with her to church, on the basis of the fact that my gramma goes, and that I know everyone there. I have already agreed to go to Bible study with my youth group (which I don’t mind), but then I was expecting to be able to go to Mass afterwards.

My mother wants to go to Mass with me, but only to this one certain parish (which seems like… I don’t know how to explain it, but not very good) and only so that it would be convenient for me to also go to her church. She is not interested at all in even looking at Catholicism, so I don’t see the point in bringing her to Mass if she’s only going to try and point out ‘unbiblical’ things to me or herself during.

She’s threatening me with grounding if I don’t agree to her way.

What should I do? I really want to go to Mass, I really don’t want to go to my old church (prior Protestants know what I mean when I say it has no meat).

I tried explaining to my mom as nicely as possible that a church service is not a Mass, and that a Mass is not a church service. I don’t want to tell her that there’s not really anything worth going to at my old church after Mass, and I feel that would only offend her.

 

[nana3]

You are in a difficult situation since you are under aged and living at home with your mom. I am sure other would give you some great advice. I will pray for you and believe with all my heart that if the Lord wants you to become a Catholic you will. My husband had the same happen to him. His parents were divorce and he lived with his mother. She was very antiCatholic and refused to take him to Mass. He found many Catholics to give him a ride to and from Mass. He joined the parish and joined RCIA for he was a baptized Catholic, but his mother didn’t take him to Mass after his First Communion. He found the Church and loved what we believed in and wanted to be Confirmed. His mother did not go to his Confirmation, but he did it. He was about your age, 16 yr old. She thought that he had no car and no drivers license would stop him, but it didn’t. He did disobey his mother’s wishes, but to this day doesn’t regret his decision. He was very good friends with one priest and he was his spiritual advisor prior to his Confirmation. This priest helped him so much for it broke his heart that his mother hated the Church. She also did not want him to go to that particular church for it was very Orthodox and not liberal, like the other Catholic churches she suggested.

Pray about it and talk to a good holy priest about your situation. I will keep you in my prayers.

 

[HOPEFUL_IN_UK]

You have to obey your mom because she has authority over you. That’s the law, for starters. And, we’re to obey our parents while we’re minors, according to Church teaching. Will she allow you to go to both? If so, then go to a Saturday vigil or Sunday evening Mass.

If she’s forbidding you to go to Mass, then I think you have to obey her, period.

Continue to pray about this and make spiritual acts of communion. Throughout history, there have been many people who have been prohibited from going to Mass by civil authorities or their families, etc. When you are an adult, you may do as you please.

Do not receive communion at the protestant Church, though. Catholics are forbidden to receive communion at non-Catholic services. (Well, there are some allowances for Orthodox communion, but that’s another issue.) To take communion is to make a statement that you believe what that congregation believes.

Being challenged this way will strengthen your faith because you’ll be here, looking up the answers to their “tough questions.” If anything, what your mother is doing will probably make you a stronger Catholic than many people your age who are sent to Catholic schools and go to Mass with their families every Sunday.

ETA: I just re-read your post. Your mom is offering to let you go to Mass with her. At some point, I think you should do that. Yes, she will challenge you and give you a hard time. But, that can strengthen you. And, the parish may not be “any good” but, even if there are things there you disagree with, because of the Eucharist, Jesus will be there.

 

[nobeerinheaven]

Your obligation to honor your parents is qualified by the obligation to honor God - when the two conflict, parents are trumped by God. Go to Mass, even if that means getting grounded. Christ said that those who follow him must hate their family for a reason - we cannot let our love for them be an obstacle for the faith, though Satan will tempt us to do so.

 

[drafdog]

If you are still a minor and living with your mother, she has the authority to forbid you certain activities that she thinks may not be in your best interest. But you also mention that she will accompany you to Mass at another parish so that you may attend services with the congregation she frequents. I see no moral issue with following your mother’s orders. Attending Mass at a different parish is still attending Mass, so you are covered for your Sunday obligation. There is no sin involved in sitting through a service in a Protestant church. You may think it a waste of time, but it is a deposit in the account of your honor to your parents. See the Wisdom literature of the bible for a discussion of honor to parents.

Matthew