Mother's Day Blessing Rant

[MSSheBear]

Every year at our parish the pastor invites mothers to come up into the Sanctuary for the Mother’s Day Blessing. I am not a mother so I do not go up. Every year some woman has to try to persuade me to go up.

I refuse because I am not a mother and the blessing is for mothers. Our previous pastor included “spiritual mothers and godmothers.” I am not one of those either and I still would not go up because the blessing is for mothers.

It isn’t just me, this year I noticed one choir member try to convince another choir member to go up. How about just leaving the blessing for actual mothers and leave those of us who aren’t mothers alone?

 

[SMHW]

Your parish obviously has a sanctuary that is too big!

That wouldn’t work in my parish because the mothers wouldn’t all fit. The mothers in my parish stayed in their seats for the blessing.

(That doesn’t stop the parish from inviting all the smaller groups of people to circle the altar. But then again, we have a round church so circling the altar does not necessarily mean people are in the “sanctuary”.)

 

[MSSheBear]

The Sanctuary is a large platform and the Mass was poorly attended. Most of the mothers made it up.

 

[pianistclare]

Every year at our parish the pastor invites mothers to come up into the Sanctuary for the Mother’s Day Blessing. I am not a mother so I do not go up. Every year some woman has to try to persuade me to go up.

I refuse because I am not a mother and the blessing is for mothers. Our previous pastor included “spiritual mothers and godmothers.” I am not one of those either and I still would not go up because the blessing is for mothers.

It isn’t just me, this year I noticed one choir member try to convince another choir member to go up. How about just leaving the blessing for actual mothers and leave those of us who aren’t mothers alone?

These things are part of life. People get mistaken fro pregnant, people get mistaken for someone else, people believe that all women nurture and support people (which I think they do in some fashion or another). Mothering isn’t limited to childbirth.
Keep perspective, you’ll feel better about a lot of things. :twocents:

 

[Gertabelle]

It sounds like the problem is more with asking women to leave their pews and come forward for the blessing. IMO it would be far better to just ask the mothers to stand in their places for the blessing – much easier and less obtrusive.

At our parish, there is one blessing for the moms, and a second blessing for all women 18 and over. Father ad libbed both prayers, and they were lovely.

:hug3: Sorry this event was so irritating for you.

 

[Tantum_ergo]

At least was it just the priest who gave the blessing?

At the parish I attended yesterday, Father (the pastor) invited ‘all people’ to extend their hands to ‘bless all the mothers’. I did not extend my hands (I noticed those in front of me throughout the church were doing the orans) because I didn’t think that this kind of blessing was something a lay person could do.

I’m all for real community, I’ll all for lay people doing what they should do, but honestly, I get so tired of this ‘push’ for the community to ‘act along with the priest’. Why, during the Eucharistic Prayer II, where it asks for God’s blessing on the clergy, the priests always always ALWAYS go on to tack on, ‘and all your people’, (please, don’t flame me as some of the OTHER Eucharistic prayers DO say, ’ the clergy and your people. I know that. I also know that the people per se get blessed in the Eucharistic Prayer II, so it’s not like they got ‘shafted’ in this prayer and not in others) as though if ONLY the CLERGY were mentioned it would somehow DEPRIVE the LAY PEOPLE of some blessing.

OK rant over.

 

[MSSheBear]

I am irritated about being told go up there not the blessing itself. Our new pastor didn’t actually ask the “spiritual mothers and godmothers” to come up. I don’t know why someone would try to insist I or some other non mother would go up.

 

[on_the_hill]

IMO it would be far better to just ask the mothers to stand in their places for the blessing – much easier and less obtrusive.

Even that, my wife finds irksome.

As for the OP, I appreciate where you’re coming from. It’s irritating when pushy people want you to “share the joy,” whether you want to or not.

 

[MSSheBear]

@Tantum ergo: yes, it was one of those community blessings. Our parish is big into those community blessings.

 

[Blessedwithfive]

Our parish blesses everyone. It might make someone feel left out if just mothers were honored. I get the idea that all people are “mothering” at times but the call to motherhood is being “mothering” all the time. When we are tired, sick, have something else we want to do…

 

[Sarcelle]

Every year at our parish the pastor invites mothers to come up into the Sanctuary for the Mother’s Day Blessing. I am not a mother so I do not go up. Every year some woman has to try to persuade me to go up.

I refuse because I am not a mother and the blessing is for mothers. Our previous pastor included “spiritual mothers and godmothers.” I am not one of those either and I still would not go up because the blessing is for mothers.

It isn’t just me, this year I noticed one choir member try to convince another choir member to go up. How about just leaving the blessing for actual mothers and leave those of us who aren’t mothers alone?

Somebody gave me a rose last Sunday, wishing me a Happy Mother’s day. They were doing this to all the women who were old enough.

Didn’t bother me. I was more concerned about honoring my own mother than this case of mistaken identity.

 

[utah_rose]

Every year at our parish the pastor invites mothers to come up into the Sanctuary for the Mother’s Day Blessing. I am not a mother so I do not go up. Every year some woman has to try to persuade me to go up.

I refuse because I am not a mother and the blessing is for mothers. Our previous pastor included “spiritual mothers and godmothers.” I am not one of those either and I still would not go up because the blessing is for mothers.

It isn’t just me, this year I noticed one choir member try to convince another choir member to go up. How about just leaving the blessing for actual mothers and leave those of us who aren’t mothers alone?

We are just asked to stand in our pews to get the blessing. However, every year I cringe at the thought not only because I feel that being a mother doesn’t require a day set aside for us, but also because of women who arent mothers. However, the same thing happens on Fathers Day for the dads and I know lots wouldn’t think of standing up.

A better idea would be prayers for mothers who wouldn’t abort their babies.

Maybe the priest just needs to add at the Last Blessing a special blessing for mothers wherever they may be. It’s also painful because some of us have deceased mothers, and just brings painful memories back. Some of the priests do add that prayers should be said for women who just lost their mothers.

I always have a Mass said for my mother on this day too.

 

[Neofight]

So, how was the rest of the liturgy? The Mass is not all about us, it’s about the sacrifice made by Christ!

 

[Catholic1954]

Every year at our parish the pastor invites mothers to come up into the Sanctuary for the Mother’s Day Blessing. I am not a mother so I do not go up. Every year some woman has to try to persuade me to go up.

I refuse because I am not a mother and the blessing is for mothers. Our previous pastor included “spiritual mothers and godmothers.” I am not one of those either and I still would not go up because the blessing is for mothers.

It isn’t just me, this year I noticed one choir member try to convince another choir member to go up. How about just leaving the blessing for actual mothers and leave those of us who aren’t mothers alone?

A big AMEN to that! Our priest usually just invites all mothers to stand up where they are in the pews and blesses them from the altar; not everyone stands up. He does the same for fathers on Father’s Day, but my husband doesn’t like to be the center of attention, so he does not stand up; he still is blessed!

 

[pianistclare]

A big AMEN to that! Our priest usually just invites all mothers to stand up where they are in the pews and blesses them from the altar; not everyone stands up. He does the same for fathers on Father’s Day, but my husband doesn’t like to be the center of attention, so he does not stand up; he still is blessed!

LOL
At the Spanish Mass, Father asked all the mothers to stand, and my Irish hubs saw everyone starting to stand, and started to get up.
I had to punch him the ribs and tell him “no no…not you!”

 

[EasterJoy]

Every year at our parish the pastor invites mothers to come up into the Sanctuary for the Mother’s Day Blessing. I am not a mother so I do not go up. Every year some woman has to try to persuade me to go up.

I refuse because I am not a mother and the blessing is for mothers. Our previous pastor included “spiritual mothers and godmothers.” I am not one of those either and I still would not go up because the blessing is for mothers.

It isn’t just me, this year I noticed one choir member try to convince another choir member to go up. How about just leaving the blessing for actual mothers and leave those of us who aren’t mothers alone?

I am irritated about being told go up there not the blessing itself. Our new pastor didn’t actually ask the “spiritual mothers and godmothers” to come up. I don’t know why someone would try to insist I or some other non mother would go up.

It sounds like a question for the person who tried to convince you.

This person may not realize that it is better to assume that others in the congregation are quite able to listen what Father says on their own and to decide for themselves how to respond to an invitation of this kind. I do not think it is out of line to gently urge the person to trust you to handle these decisions for yourself in the future. Do not let your irritation show, provided the person does not argue with you. (If your capacity to hear and act appropriately on your own behalf is openly doubted,* then* you can unleash just a little “NO, WHEN I SAY I WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE, I MEAN IT” juice. A little goes a long way, and repeated applications are better than over-application.)

 

[CB_Catholic]

I am irritated about being told go up there not the blessing itself. Our new pastor didn’t actually ask the “spiritual mothers and godmothers” to come up. I don’t know why someone would try to insist I or some other non mother would go up.

It seems to me your beef is with the person wanting you to go up, not with with your priest or parish. So you should just approach the person wanting you to go up or just ignore them, not come to the forums to rant. No one here can do anything for you, and the mods don’t care for rants or complaint threads, and often close them.

Some things in life are just not important enough to fuss over and disturb one’s peace. No harm was done here.

 

[pianistclare]

I’m always amazed when people are upset that they are encouraged or feel encouraged to respond in a way that makes it clear they are angry. Especially in the context of Mass.

People mean well. Nobody is out to hurt anyone.
It’s not worth the bite back.

As Neofight said…how was the rest of Mass? I’ll bet it was beautiful.

 

[KCT]

I am irritated about being told go up there not the blessing itself. Our new pastor didn’t actually ask the “spiritual mothers and godmothers” to come up. I don’t know why someone would try to insist I or some other non mother would go up.

They didn’t know you were ok with not going up? They assumed you’d feel left out?

If it happens next year, quietly tell the person you’re not a mom and are fine w/ remaining in your pew. (though you shouldn’t have to…it’s no one’s business)

 

[InNomineDomini]

At the parish I attended yesterday, Father (the pastor) invited ‘all people’ to extend their hands to ‘bless all the mothers’.

I feel your frustration. My wife and I had a similar experience during our marriage preparation retreat, compliments of the parish we had to go for Mass.

Frankly, so many cultural aspects of American Catholicism stink.

But at least it’s not 1975!