Mother's Day Mass - Scattered Thoughts

[blackforest]

How do you propose a compassionate approach?

In this very thread, there have already been some wonderful suggestions and descriptions of what people do at their own parishes. Such options include Catholicizing the celebration with a veneration of Mother Mary, leaving out optional flowers for moms to take at the end of Mass, or turning it into a pro-life event.

These parishes have found ways to honor mothers while being considerate of those who may have a tumultuous relationship with the holiday.

Nobody is suggesting that we stop celebrating Mother’s Day - although doing so at Mass is purely optional and technically not necessary for our faith. (By contrast, discussing heart attacks is definitely necessary in your CPR class!) There should be an option to refrain from the celebration, as well. Faithful Catholics meeting their Sunday obligation don’t have that option when it’s incorporated into the liturgy. So if it is part of the liturgy, it can be done with basic kindness and consideration for others.

 

[EnglishTeacher]

So, I have every empathy for people. However, there are few among us who will never have had at least one very painful moment in our lives. That does not mean we should stop others from celebrating events that may bring pain to us.

I have never and would never propose that we stop celebrating Mother’s Day. I haven’t even suggested that we stop mentioning it at Mass, even though it’s unnecessary with Mother’s Day being a secular holiday. I would only humbly suggest that the common practice of having all the mothers stand while all the childless women sit could be modified or replaced by a different practice (there have been several suggestions above). It just tends to hit hard in a place where many women are already hurting.

Does this happen at every Mass that day? If not perhaps go to a Mass where it does not happen. If not perhaps go to a Mass where it does not happen. If it does take place at all the Masses explain to your priest and ask for a dispensation from Mass on mothers’ Day

So far, I have not been to a Mass where some form of the above does not occur. I can make it through; I have never skipped Mass because of it, but I know women who have done so or at least contemplated it because they dread the practice so much.

 

[Gorgias]

So I’m not going to fault a priest either way. At the same time, what do you think would be a good way to approach Mass on Mother’s Day?

A blessing, with everyone staying in their place in the pews, at the conclusion of Mass, when everyone is standing anyway.

With luck, the priest will be sensitive enough to include all women, not just those who bore or raised their own children.

 

[DarkLight]

I have never skipped Mass because of it, but I know women who have done so or at least contemplated it because they dread the practice so much.

I honestly considered just attending mass in Spanish. (I actually ended up being sick last weekend so Mass didn’t happen at all, sadly.)

 

[EnglishTeacher]

Now that’s a creative idea I hadn’t thought of! Sorry to hear you were sick, though!

 

[lilypadrees]

At our parish, carnations are handed out to all the mothers. Because mine has to hold on to her walker when she gets up, I always take her flower for her and put it in a vase for her when we get home.

 

[gracepoole]

My own parish simply had everyone stand and participate in giving a blessing to all mothers. In this way no one could tell who was or wasn’t an actual mom. BUT, we were all asked to extend our hands “over” the parish while participating in the blessing. What does this look like when done? It looks like hundreds of people giving the Nazi salute. My husband glanced over at me with complete horror on his face.

 

[EnglishTeacher]

Oh dear

 

[maryjk]

Eight years ago today, my mother passed away. Two years ago, “today” was Mother’s Day.

Not a great day for me whether it falls on Mother’s Day or not.

But I don’t believe that recognizing Mother’s Day in any way diminishes my mom. Yes, losing my mom was painful and is painful. But it is painful whether people honor their own mothers or not.

Like @TomH1, I believe that we as a people have gotten too sensitive. It seems as though our celebrations are suppose to be muted just in case our celebrations offend someone. It is better to teach people how to handle the hurt. How to overcome the pain. Or even how to join in the celebrations.

 

[DisorientingSneeze]

BUT, we were all asked to extend our hands “over” the parish while participating in the blessing. What does this look like when done? It looks like hundreds of people giving the Nazi salute. My husband glanced over at me with complete horror on his face.

I know what you mean. Any time I’ve been somewhere that they ask this I make sure I’ve got a hard bend in my elbow.

 

[mrsdizzyd]

Like @TomH1, I believe that we as a people have gotten too sensitive. It seems as though our celebrations are suppose to be muted just in case our celebrations offend someone. It is better to teach people how to handle the hurt. How to overcome the pain. Or even how to join in the celebrations.

I could not agree more. Very well said.

Father’s Day is a hard one for me because my father was/is so… inadequate… but I don’t begrudge anyone else having a joyous Father’s Day, and if people want to honor Fathers at mass I have no objections.

This past Mother’s Day was a bit bittersweet for me because of a recent miscarriage, but I’m still grateful for the honor and the celebration.

 

[Bruised_Reed]

This still happens? I’m pretty sure one parish I belonged to ceased inviting the congregation to “extend” blessings physically.

There ought to be a memo from the USCCB.

 

[Peonies]

I am sorry for your recent loss. I imagine your sweet little baby boy or girl was thinking of you with love from Heaven on Sunday.

 

[Mintaka]

Speaking as a single woman without kids, it makes me happy to see all the mothers stand up. I like to see the human race continue, so there will be people to take care of me in my old age.

Even people who have lost their babies have more biological wealth than me. That is their vocation. I have a different one.

 

[misstherese]

Our priest didn’t give any special blessing or anything, which I think fits better. But Our Lady was decorated very nicely with a lot of flowers at her feet in the front. It was a nice reminder that we ALL have a Mother in heaven.

 

[mrsdizzyd]

I am sorry for your recent loss. I imagine your sweet little baby boy or girl was thinking of you with love from Heaven on Sunday.

What a sweet comment. Thank you. Reading that actually made me tear up a bit. I certainly hope he or she is!

 

[Wendy1989]

We crowned Mary at the 8 am Mass at my parish and while everyone was still standing, Father gave a blessing for mothers. Before the blessing, he included Aunts, Godmothers, those women who care for others, etc… as the BVM is the model of womanhood. Of course, this offended our resident former nun that uses ‘inclusive’ language!

As one priest said on Twitter “No one will be happy with Mass today!”