Mothers, what would you have liked the church to do for you as a new mother?

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I’m looking for a practical ministry that could be done by laity, especially perhaps by other ladies (married or not, mothers or not). Perhaps some small gifts - I was thinking hot chocolate? Perhaps some assistance with housework or cooking. The protestant church I grew up in, it was customary to bring a few meals to new parents so they didn’t have to cook.
 
Meals…and if the woman has few relatives and friends around some nice “adult time”. It’s nice to be seen as more than just a babymaker those first few months. Many people come right away, but I think it’s really in the 2-4 months when things tend to congeal, especially for SAHM. People have long stopped bringing meals, hubby has been back to work for ages. Baby’s sleeping and feeding schedule is highly unpredictable and for those without school aged kids getting out can seem to be more intimidating than not.

Help at Mass–or even going to the library–for those with one or more older kids
 
DarkLight said:
I’m looking for a practical ministry that could be done by laity, especially perhaps by other ladies (married or not, mothers or not). Perhaps some small gifts - I was thinking hot chocolate? Perhaps some assistance with housework or cooking. The protestant church I grew up in, it was customary to bring a few meals to new parents so they didn’t have to cook.
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I’m a Dad. But I’ve observed that done by small tight knit Catholic communities in many places. It was done in our homeschooling group.

What I, as a Dad, would love to see the Catholic Church in America push for, is to embrace the homeschooling community and open its facilities to homeschoolers. One of the Churches in our area did it. Actually, two. One was Anglican use. But they were too far for us to comfortably attend on a regular basis. We mostly went on holidays and special occasions.

So, that’s what I’d love to see.
 
Meals is a huge thing.

Helping hands is another, someone who will come and simply hold the baby while mom takes a nap, showers, talks to another adult.

Someone who would be on-call to stay with the other kids when mom and dad head to the hospital for labor and delivery.
 
Holding and rocking the baby while the mama can go to Mass in peace and be fed with the Body of Christ and refreshed.

Women at my parish BEG for this.
 
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My wife does a Mother to Mother ministry that is a mentoring kind of thing.
 
pianistclare said:
Holding and rocking the baby while the mama can go to Mass in peace and be fed with the Body of Christ and refreshed.

Women at my parish BEG for this.
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Hold my baby? Nah. She was easy.

Hold my wild toddler so I don’t have to worry about her stealing Eucarist from Father when I go up for Communion

Sign.
Me.
Up.

🤣
 
De_Maria said:
What I, as a Dad, would love to see the Catholic Church in America push for, is to embrace the homeschooling community and open its facilities to homeschoolers. One of the Churches in our area did it. Actually, two. One was Anglican use. But they were too far for us to comfortably attend on a regular basis. We mostly went on holidays and special occasions.
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What action could laypeople take that would help towards this?
 
Our parish (my former one, anyway) did this.
They allowed the Homeschool Coop to operate in the building one day a week.
I recommend this happen in a large parish, where the classes are away from the daily operations of the parish.
It was LOUD. Crazy. Really nice people, sweet kids, but they would come in my office constantly looking for glue, scissors, stapler, pencils, print something out for me please, …it was a zoo.

We loved them, but we could almost not function as an office when they were there.

It was totally up to our pastor. He would say a Mass for them to start their day, hear confessions once a month, and in general let them do whatever they wanted.
Super nice people. It was just ALOT to have going on.

If your parish has lots of room, it was a nice thing to do for them, as the nearby Catholic school was not to their liking. They were most appreciative.
 
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But aren’t yall a bit worried for leaving your child alone with a volunteer? Or am I just overthinking this?
 
Lea101 said:
But aren’t yall a bit worried for leaving your child alone with a volunteer? Or am I just overthinking this?
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In a busy church while I go get Communion?

Nope. I’d be happy to hand her off.

Not sure it would be any better with an altar rail a la TLM, either. She’d see that and think perfect climbing opportunity. And a shiny patten? For-get-it. And I’m not about to beat her as people did in the old days.

All-Mass daycare…not a chance in the world. I’m a firm believer AGAINST it. Unless well executed it gives both the children and the childless parishioners bad ideas regarding children and their behavior in Mass.
 
I never handed my child off, but it wasn’t because I didn’t trust my fellow parishioners, they were just pretty well behaved.
There’s a current parishioner who swears her little girl is a “terrorist”. and needs all the down-time she can get.
 
DarkLight said:
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De_Maria:
What I, as a Dad, would love to see the Catholic Church in America push for, is to embrace the homeschooling community and open its facilities to homeschoolers. One of the Churches in our area did it. Actually, two. One was Anglican use. But they were too far for us to comfortably attend on a regular basis. We mostly went on holidays and special occasions.
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What action could laypeople take that would help towards this?
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Talk to your Pastor. Ask him if he would make the campus available to homeschoolers.
 
Very true. It has to be used on a limited basis…as in those very loud toddler and wiggly times.
Many priests really don’t mind it. It tends to be the other parishioners that stare daggers at parents, and also make comments.
YKWIM?
 
De_Maria said:
Talk to your Pastor. Ask him if he would make the campus available to homeschoolers.
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I’m more looking for ministries the laypeople can do here. Talking to the pastor is nice, but it’s not really something that the laity can do beyond maybe having one or two short conversations. And it’s going to depend on the parish and what their facilities are in any case - a lot of parishes I’ve attended didn’t tend to have a lot of spare space.
 
I’ll go with meals. It has been such a blessing, especially after my c-sections, to have families deliver meals to us and we’ve always enjoyed bringing meals to others. This has usually been done through our homeschooling group, but it sounds wonderful as a parish-wide ministry.

The other thing that comes to mind is to develop a culture within the parish in which mothers and babies are made to feel welcome, if such a culture doesn’t already exist in your parish.
 
I definitely wouldn’t have felt comfortable with it.

I’d say meals are very helpful, and having a bible study or other women’s ministry that meets during reasonable hours instead of at 7pm or later when you’re ready to put the kids to bed would be nice. Having more child-friendly young adult events would be great, too, since I’m not bringing my baby into a loud pub for Theology on Tap.
 
I think the best thing a fellow parishioner has ever done is tell me, “It’s ok momma, they’re just being kids. You are doing fine.”

When one is crawling from one end of the pew and back while the other is draped accross your lap telling you how BORED they are… those words of encouragement make a world of difference.

I went from feeling like the biggest annoyance to being welcomed.
 
Meals. I second the thought that those are even more helpful a month or two out.

I’d also encourage you to consider including mothers dealing with miscarriage or stillbirth if you are providing meals, self care baskets, or visits.
 
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