Mourner's Kaddish

[JCY]

I have been asked to give an apologetics presentation on Purgatory at my parish. In researching the topic, I found that many apologetic resources refer to the ancient Jewish custom of praying the Mourner’s Kaddish as an early parallel to the concept of praying for the dead. The Kaddish is a beautiful prayer that praises God and asks for His continued blessings on those that remain. It is not obvious to me that this prayer is said for the benefit of the deceased. I asked a friend that had married a Jewish convert about the Kaddish. She told me that this prayer is said in memory of the deceased to honor them. In fact, the orthodox members of her husband’s family believe that the soul no longer exists after death. I understand that there is a split in Judaism on this point. Can someone clarify the meaning of the Mourner’s Kaddish for me relative to praying for the deceased?

 

[stillsmallvoice]

Hi JCY!

Our prayer, the Mourner’s Kaddish, is for the benefit of the soul of the deceased & is believed to ease the spiritual status of the deceased’s soul as it goes through whatever trials & tribulations it may be subject to. Yes, we do believe in something akin to the Roman Catholic notion of Purgatory & thus saying the Mourner’s Kaddish would be similar to the Roman Catholic idea of praying for the souls in Purgatory.

Look at ou.org/yerushalayim/kadish.htm.

The text there is the (5 clause) Mourner’s Kaddish in Hebrew, transliterated English & English (you can also listen to it in RealAudio).

As I understand it, a soul that has sinned in this world has to pay for its actions/inactions in the next world. We do not automatically & necessarily divide souls into the entirely righteous who will therefore enjoy enternal bliss and the entirely evil who will therefore suffer eternal damnation. The degrees in between are infinite & we believe that God rewards/punishes each soul according to its good/not good actions. As I said, the recitation of the Kaddish prayer is believed to benefit the soul of the deceased as it goes through whatever trials and tribulations it has to endure in the next world.

In addition to the aforementioned Kaddish prayer (which is usually said by a son for a departed parent for 11 months after the day of burial, but which can also be said for 30 days for a spouse, child or sibling, particularly if none of these have children to say the Kaddish; the Kaddish is also recited on the anniversary of the burial), there are the Yizkor (literally: “He will remember”) and E-l Maleh Rahamim (literally: “God Full of Mercy”) prayers (see ou.org/yerushalayim/yizkor/) which are recited 4 times a year on Yom Kippur, the last day of Passover, Shavuot and Shemini Atzeret (see jewfaq.org/toc.htm for links to all of these holydays).

(cont.)

 

[stillsmallvoice]

(cont.)

I submit the following excerpt (from jewfaq.org/death.htm):

After the avelut [mourning] period is complete, the family of the deceased is not permitted to continue formal mourning; however, there are a few continuing acknowledgments of the decedent. Every year, on the anniversary of the death, family members observe the deceased’s Yahrzeit (Yiddish, lit. “anniversary”). On the Yahrzeit, sons recite Kaddish and take an aliyah (bless the Torah reading) in synagogue if possible, and all mourners light a candle in honor of the decedent that burns for 24 hours. In addition, during services on Yom Kippur, Shemini Atzeret, the last day of Passover, and Shavu’ot, after the haftarah reading in synagogue, close relatives recite the mourner’s prayer, Yizkor (“May He remember…”) in synagogue. Yahrzeit candles are also lit on those days.

Kaddish

Kaddish is commonly known as a mourner’s prayer, but in fact, variations on the Kaddish prayer are routinely recited at many other times, and the prayer itself has nothing to do with death or mourning. The prayer begins “May His great Name grow exalted and sanctified in the world that He created as He willed. May He give reign to His kingship in your lifetimes and in your days …” and continues in much that vein. The real mourner’s prayer is E-l Maleh Rachamim, which is recited at grave sites and during funerals.

Why, then, is Kaddish recited by mourners?

After a great loss like the death of a parent, you might expect a person to lose faith in G-d, or to cry out against G-d’s injustice. Instead, Judaism requires a mourner to stand up every day, publicly (i.e., in front of a minyan, a quorum of 10 adult men), and reaffirm faith in G-d despite this loss. To do so inures to the merit of the deceased in the eyes of G-d, because the deceased must have been a very good parent to raise a child who could express such faith in the face of personal loss.

Then why is Kaddish recited for only 11 months, when the mourning period is 12 months? According to Jewish tradition, the soul must spend some time purifying itself before it can enter the World to Come. The maximum time required for purification is 12 months, for the most evil person. To recite Kaddish for 12 months would imply that the parent was the type who needed 12 months of purification! To avoid this implication, the Sages decreed that a son should recite Kaddish for only eleven months.

In addition to the Kaddish. it is believed that the recitation of the Yizkor and E-l Maleh Rahamim prayers are beneficial to the soul of the departed. On the anniversary of the burial, it is common to study some chapter of the Talmud or the Tanakh (what we call what Christians call the “Old Testament”), read a selection of Psalms, give to charity, etc. in honor/memory of the departed. This is also believed to be beneficial.

JCY, you posted:

In fact, the orthodox members of her husband’s family believe that the soul no longer exists after death.

:bigyikes:

This contravenes normative orthodox Jewish doctrine. Are you sure about this? (See jewfaq.org/olamhaba.htm.)

We do not pray to the dead. That would be a terrible sin. We pray for the dead but not to them. When we visit the tombs of holy men/women, we certainly don’t/shouldn’t pray to them. Rather, we pray to God and beseech Him to count the merit of the particular holy man/woman in our favor, we ask Him to remember us in their merit. When DW & I were plowing through fertility treatment way back, we prayed at Rachel’s Tomb (rachelstomb.org/main.html) & at Samuel’s Tomb; we certainly didn’t pray to Rachel our Mother or to Samuel.

Be well!

ssv

 

[MommaKat]

Stillsmallvoice
I think it is wonderful that you can share your faith with us. I want to learn as much as I can about the faith in which my faith comes from.

 

[JCY]

First, thank you for your reply. I appreciate your insight into the Mourner’s Kaddish and will study your response.

stillsmallvoice:

This contravenes normative orthodox Jewish doctrine. Are you sure about this? (See jewfaq.org/olamhaba.htm.)

I am only reporting what I was told. It may be that my firend misunderstands her husbands families faith.

 

[stillsmallvoice]

Hi JCY!

JCY:

First, thank you for your reply. I appreciate your insight into the Mourner’s Kaddish and will study your response.

You’re welcome! Please come back with any more questions that you might have & I will do my best.

DW and I suffer from primary & wholly unexplained infertility, i.e. DW has never become pregnant & the doctors have no idea why. All the IVFs we did (we allow that) failed. But we do not complain. God has been good to us beyond measure & has blessed us with two marvelous boys, both of whom we adopted as infants here in Israel. The saying of Mourner’s Kaddish is so ingrained with us that, to be very, very honest, before we adopted our first son, I was haunted by the possibility that there would be no one to say Kaddish for us. Thank God, that is no longer one of my concerns.

Please let us know how your presentation goes! Good luck!

Be well!

ssv