Moving Away

[RCIAGraduate]

“may mercy, peace, and love be yours in abundance.” Jude 1:2

What do you think about adults especially college graduates living with their parents? Personally as a college student,living with my family appears to be really practical and a wonderful safety net which can allow students to save for a car and home. Your thoughts?

 

[jmcrae]

“may mercy, peace, and love be yours in abundance.” Jude 1:2

What do you think about adults especially college graduates living with their parents? Personally as a college student,living with my family appears to be really practical and a wonderful safety net which can allow students to save for a car and home. Your thoughts?

What do the parents think of the idea? Maybe they want some peace and quiet after years of caring for children, or maybe they like having their child around to help with bills and chores. It depends on the individual circumstances I think.

I do think a transitional time of being single and self-reliant is an essential final step to full maturity, but it need not last very long and if it seems that you are going to be single for the indefinite future then I would leave it up to the parents to decide if they want you to stay at home for a while longer.

 

[Xantippe]

“may mercy, peace, and love be yours in abundance.” Jude 1:2

What do you think about adults especially college graduates living with their parents? Personally as a college student,living with my family appears to be really practical and a wonderful safety net which can allow students to save for a car and home. Your thoughts?

There is a lot to say for the practicality of it, as long as you and your parents are good housemates to each other.

However, I have to say the following:

1. Be very sure that money is actually being saved each and every month. It would be very easy to just fritter away the money saved on rent.
2. I would suggest doing a personal finance course (for instance Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University) and make sure that you are making steady progress.
3. Can the parents actually afford it? Do they perhaps need a little bit chipped in to help with utilities and groceries? Were they hoping that you’d move out soon?
4. Ideally, I think young people should have the experience of living outside the parental home for at least a year before getting married. It’s a valuable experience to discover for oneself that dishes do not wash themselves, laundry does not put itself away, bathrooms do not clean themselves, meals do not cook themselves, milk does not spontaneously appear in the fridge, etc. It’s also better, I believe, to think “Hey! It’s so great to have somebody to share housework with!” as a newlywed rather than, “Suzie’s cooking isn’t as good as mom’s” or “the teeny tiny apartment that Brad and I are renting isn’t as nice as mom and dad’s house that I just moved out of.” Independent living and having to fend for ourselves can help us to experience more gratitude toward our spouse and more enjoyment of newlywed life.
5. There’s also the issue that job and educational opportunities may take us far from home.
6. It can be rather a shock to discover how much life costs outside the parental nest, especially once you start having your own nestlings. One has to be prepared for a substantial decrease in discretionary income.

Best wishes!

 

[Brianmcg321]

I was given one year free after I graduated. I moved in three months. Once I found a job and could get my own place. I was out.

It was weird having my mom answer the phone if a girl called. its one thing when your 16 but when you’re 23?

I will probably give the same deal to my daughter but she will probably never move back home.

 

[Xantippe]

I was given one year free after I graduated. I moved in three months. Once I found a job and could get my own place. I was out.

It was weird having my mom answer the phone if a girl called. its one thing when your 16 but when you’re 23?

I will probably give the same deal to my daughter but she will probably never move back home.

I’m years away from having young adults at home, but tentatively speaking, I think I’d like to ask our future college students to save $200 a month when they live at home. $200 a month X 12 months X 4 years = nearly $10k. If they continued to live at home after graduation (which would not be indefinitely, barring some sort of major disability or health problem), I would expect more savings.

(That’s assuming college expenses are all taken care of, which few families can hope to pull off–a lot of families would be doing very well just to get kid through college with minimal debt.)

 

[KCT]

If it keeps you from graduating with huge debt, and you and your parents are OK with it, why not??

 

[pianistclare]

For us it was a cultural thing. Hispanic young ladies do not move out of their parents homes unless they move into their own home with a hubs.

Also, my dad couldn’t see me spending the money I made on a place when I had a place. In his house.

 

[Sunbreak]

I think it’s ok to live with parents for awhile, but you should help with chores, possibly help with some of the household costs too. I am in favor of some sort of time limitation more or less. Otherwise, you could get in the habit of living there forever. In my family, the girls left as soon as they could - both my sister and I were independent sort of people - but my brother never left home at all. So you see, this could become a permanent thing.

 

[retire_early]

Yes, its a good idea.

Mom and Dad have to be on board with it, though. And, speaking from experience, you’ll want to pay a chunk to help with food and utilities, which they will appreciate. Then, save-save-save so you can pay for a car and down payment on a house. I didn’t do it this way, but in today’s economy it seems more necessary.

I did end up moving back in with my parents when I was in my late 30’s, when I finally settled down, started saving for a car and house and paying off debt. It took me almost four years, but in the meantime, I was able to get to know my folks “adult-to-adult” and appreciate them even more. Not too many years later, I was caring for them in my own home…it was the least I could do!

 

[Lorelei12]

My parents were generous enough to allow me to live with them for a short time while I was in graduate school. I worked at the same time and I paid them a negligible amount of rent (I think it was maybe $100-$150 per month) and paid for all my own expenses (cell phone, car, student loan payments, etc.). It helped me out a lot, but I was dying to get out and live on my own so I did. There’s nothing wrong with it, but I think it is best as a temporary thing and having a goal of getting out on your own as soon as possible is good.