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Julian_Bashir
Guest
You are making a lot of assumptions from a message board post. Generally, the chasm between living with mom in secrecy and heroin-addicted prostitution is quite large.
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Xantippe
Guest
“I would never advice a young girl to go out into the world until her emotions are healthy.”
I went off to college at 16. That’s young, but it’s quite normal for kids to go out of town or out of state for college at the OP’s age. Certainly, there are temptations, but if she chooses a good group of girls to live with, takes care of her spiritual life, works hard, and remembers where the library is, she should be OK. She’s going to have to leave the nest eventually.
I went off to college at 16. That’s young, but it’s quite normal for kids to go out of town or out of state for college at the OP’s age. Certainly, there are temptations, but if she chooses a good group of girls to live with, takes care of her spiritual life, works hard, and remembers where the library is, she should be OK. She’s going to have to leave the nest eventually.
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confusedgirl
Guest
With all due respect to you I never said I hate my mother. My faith is very important to me and I don’t want it to be taken away from me and I don’t want to have to fight with my mom all the time or have to denounce my faith to please her… it doesn’t feel right to me at all. My mom and I fight all the time but that doesn’t mean I hate her or I will never forgive her for it. Yes my mom wants to me to belong to her faith and hers only because she’s misinformed about my faith and doesn’t understand how much it means to me.
I’ve been in the real world. I was forced to leave home because of my faith twice before. I even ended up in a shelter and I think that was the best place for me. I was with kids my age made friends and had adults that took care of me and gave me the support I needed. I graduated high school with honors. I got into university with a $12, 000 scholarship and I gave it up for my faith really. When I left I didn’t know where to go but because God is with me always I never once had to sleep in the streets.
Because of God no guy I’ve ever been involved with has ever used me and I don’t think for any reason he would stop protecting me. Drugs and alcohol I don’t need them, I did take enough classes in school to know what they do and I would never let myself fall into that no matter how far down I feel. I’m currently in college looking to get into university next year. I know where I want my life to go. I’ll admit, my mom is really harsh and it drives me to a great deal of pain and sadness but its my faith and trust in God that brings me hope and courage that still keeps me here. I could have ended up on the streets on drugs but God protects me and there is so much more than drugs or parties.
Lastly my emotions arent in any kind of bad position. People telling me to move out isn’t a terrible idea doesn’t fill me with resentment but with determination. I understand where you are coming from, I really do but not everyone goes down that path. If you doubt my courage then I’m sorry you aren’t convinced but my faith is a big part of my life and its why I’m still here. I can’t give it up and be someone I am not. Please try to understand that. Also Im not sure if you have the gift of discerning but you’ve never met me or my mother how can you know who God is with? You are making some pretty unfair judgments…
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confusedgirl
Guest
I’m actually Canadian
I don’t really need to be emancipated since I’m almost 19 and my mom isn’t legally responsible for me after that.
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peace2u2
Guest
Hello again my Canadian sister in Christ! I just thought I’d throw my :twocents: in:I’m actually Canadian
My mother came to America from Canada when she was just 17 years old - by herself. She of course had a plan in motion (she was recently married (her mother had to sign for her to get married) and travelled alone by train to the biggest city in America and greeted her mother-in-law at Grand central with just a picture in hand as my father was still in the military service.
The point I’m trying to make is that this is YOUR decision to make. Come on people she is not 14! You should weigh the pros and cons which sounds like your doing. Almost 19 year olds leave their homes to live independent lives away from their parents everyday. Some go off to college, some get married and some join the military, and some leave just to have their own place and work. The evil that is out in the world is not going to go away no matter what age you are when you leave. Place your trust in Jesus and He will guide you and guard you. Leaving may also strengthen your relationship with your mother.
See if Catholic Charities or Catholic Relief Services can assist you with your needs like shelter and food before you just take off. Have a plan first. They may even assist you with a job or funds for college.
Also instead of verbalizing to your mother the journey that you have set forth to take in the Catholic Church, I would write a letter - she can’t argue with a letter but will have no choice to read your words and maybe then she can understand and respect that it is God who calls us to follow Him in His One, Holy, Catholic and Apostolic Church. Any person who converts to Catholicism or returns after being away, the majority any way will tell you that the Holy Spirit prompting them and lead them the entire way. You are a young lady, old enough to get married, vote and join the military service…you should be old enough to choose the church you want to worship God.
Besides if she is Protestant, then doesn’t she look at us Catholics as her brothers and sisters in Christ??? Which Church does she want you to worship God at ?
catholiccharities.thepixelshopdev.ca/Contact/
catholiccharities.thepixelshopdev.ca/Programs/
crs.org/about/
Prayers offered up for you.
Peace in Christ.
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davetv
Guest
Your advice has been terrible. Please do not project your own mother / daughter issues on this young woman and her situation. She got plenty to deal with on her own.
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davetv
Guest
Confusedgirl you are called to love God and then others. Others include those who are difficult and even our enemies. There is probably a special category between family and enemy where members of our own family can be placed. 
. That being said, you HAVE to love your mom. You DON’T have to live with her. Often we have to move out of our parents’ home in order to be closer to them. I suggest you very thoughtfully and carefully move out all the while loving your Mom. I think once out your relationship will change for the better.
Please also be mindful whether you are communicating to your mother that you love her. Don’t leave her with the impression that you hate her. Tell her often that you love her and try to show her in small ways and visit /call her often after you move out. Love has a way of transforming people over time.
God bless.
. That being said, you HAVE to love your mom. You DON’T have to live with her. Often we have to move out of our parents’ home in order to be closer to them. I suggest you very thoughtfully and carefully move out all the while loving your Mom. I think once out your relationship will change for the better.Please also be mindful whether you are communicating to your mother that you love her. Don’t leave her with the impression that you hate her. Tell her often that you love her and try to show her in small ways and visit /call her often after you move out. Love has a way of transforming people over time.
God bless.
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Xantippe
Guest
“That being said, you HAVE to love your mom. You DON’T have to live with her. Often we have to move out of our parents’ home in order to be closer to them.”
Yes!
“Please also be mindful whether you are communicating to your mother that you love her. Don’t leave her with the impression that you hate her. Tell her often that you love her and try to show her in small ways and visit /call her often after you move out. Love has a way of transforming people over time.”
Yes again!
Yes!
“Please also be mindful whether you are communicating to your mother that you love her. Don’t leave her with the impression that you hate her. Tell her often that you love her and try to show her in small ways and visit /call her often after you move out. Love has a way of transforming people over time.”
Yes again!
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ventura2323
Guest
You are a resentful person. That is obvious. I gave her Christian advice whether you agree with it or not. I would give my own daughter advice that would be best for her future.
She needs to live at home, get a good education and then move out. Not now. If she moves out before that, she could be making a big mistake.
What advice would you give your daughter?
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maryjk
Guest
By the age of 18, I would hope I had taught my daughter enough to live at college if she wanted to.
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Xantippe
Guest
“By the age of 18, I would hope I had taught my daughter enough to live at college if she wanted to.”
Yes.
Plus, it looks like the mother has tried to illegally kick her minor daughter out on a number of occasions. The mom is not a stable individual.
Yes.
Plus, it looks like the mother has tried to illegally kick her minor daughter out on a number of occasions. The mom is not a stable individual.
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ventura2323
Guest
If you loved your daughter you wouldn ot send her away at college where sex and drugs are rampant.
By the age of 18, I would hope I had taught my daughter enough to live at college if she wanted to.
I will not continue this debate.
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maryjk
Guest
You must have had a terrible time at college. I am sorry it was so awful.
But that doesn’t mean that everyone’s experience is awful.
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thequeen
Guest
I t sounds like you need to put some distance between the two of you I am am convert from the pentecostal church god and believe me my mother had control issues also but she eventually accepted it but i did have to put hundreds of miles between us to have a decent relationship mom and dad are passed but it seems as though you mother has a control issue like my mother had So my advice is to get out as soon as possible
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thequeen
Guest
I t sounds like you need to put some distance between the two of you I am am convert from the pentecostal church god and believe me my mother had control issues also but she eventually accepted it but i did have to put hundreds of miles between us to have a decent relationship mom and dad are passed but it seems as though you mother has a control issue like my mother had So my advice is to get out as soon as possible
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ventura2323
Guest
I am through with this issue.
Good luck.
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maryjk
Guest
You’ve said that.
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davetv
Guest
Go with God and I pray He helps you with your own issues.
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confusedgirl
Guest
You sound like my mom always expecting the worse to happen once you let your child go. I think my mom always thinks I’m going to screw up the minute I leave because like you she doesn’t trust the outside world and doesn’t think I can handle it. Or she thinks I’m trying to runaway from her. When you shelter your child to the point where they can’t discover things for themselves one of two things happens, they leave and never come back or they stay discover the world for the first time and then leave and never come back. Protecting your children is what a parent does but I wish my mom trusted me enough to let me experience being on my own and now its to the point where I don’t have any say in my life at all so no I won’t stay. In fact, I’m applying for university in another city and I hope my mom understands why I made the choice to go. If I had a daughter I’d trust that she is in control of her life and knows what to do because I’d make sure I had raised her knowing whats out there. The world isn’t a dark terrible place like your making it out to be but its no utopia either.
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confusedgirl
Guest
I think she’s done being mad at me but I don’t think she gets how important my faith is to me yet. I’ll always love my mom but I don’t think that the fights will ever stop. Moving out is probably for the best.Confusedgirl you are called to love God and then others. Others include those who are difficult and even our enemies. There is probably a special category between family and enemy where members of our own family can be placed.
Please also be mindful whether you are communicating to your mother that you love her. Don’t leave her with the impression that you hate her. Tell her often that you love her and try to show her in small ways and visit /call her often after you move out. Love has a way of transforming people over time.
God bless.
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