Moving with a newborn (asking for a friend)

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BlueEyedLady

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…just kidding, I’m asking for me! 😃

Very long story short, I don’t love the practice of law, so I’m switching directions. A really great opportunity presented itself on the west coast, and although I was supposed to start in August, I just found out I’m due to have a baby in September!!!:eek::D. No biggie though, they are working with me and I can put off starting until January. And, to make things even better, this is in my husband’s dream city! He’s fantasized about moving there for longer than I’ve known him, and he couldn’t be happier.

But, this means I’ll be moving from the East Coast to the west with a 4 month old, and I can’t imagine that’s easy. I’m already on the waitlist for several daycare centers and at least one is pretty sure I’ll have a spot in Jan of next year. We have our budgets worked out and my husband already has a few professional contacts out there excited to help him get a position.

So, what am I missing? I’m terrified, but so happy, excited, and filled with love. I really want to do the right things right, but this seems almost too easy. What could I be overlooking? I’m only 10 weeks, so other than my mom and husband, no one knows yet. But I need a jump on planning and honestly, I just had to tell someone!
 
Congratulations! I’m very happy to hear your news. Take care of yourself throughout this exciting time.
 
Oh Wow, BEL, congratulations!! Hope everything goes well and you have a healthy pregnancy and healthy little person!

I did move twice with small babies, but both times were moving apartments within a 15 mile radius.
 
Congratulations! I moved from Japan back to the US when my daughter was 9 months old. It was quite a process. If you can afford it, hire professional movers to do all the packing, moving, and heavy lifting. I remember when we moved from the Midwest to California, when I was a child, my mom flew out with the kids and my dad drove the family car with all things we needed until the truck arrived. Can your mom or some other female relative or friend take a few weeks off to help you unpack and get settled? At four months, the baby will probably not be sleeping all night yet and you will feel quite frazzled with loss of sleep and the stress of a new job, house, city, coast. Welcome to “left” coast. No snow here!
 
Catholic1954 said:
Congratulations! I moved from Japan back to the US when my daughter was 9 months old. It was quite a process. If you can afford it, hire professional movers to do all the packing, moving, and heavy lifting. I remember when we moved from the Midwest to California, when I was a child, my mom flew out with the kids and my dad drove the family car with all things we needed until the truck arrived. Can your mom or some other female relative or friend take a few weeks off to help you unpack and get settled? At four months, the baby will probably not be sleeping all night yet and you will feel quite frazzled with loss of sleep and the stress of a new job, house, city, coast. Welcome to “left” coast. No snow here!
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I think this is all very good advice.

Congratulations on your pregnancy! My youngest was born in September and I think it’s a good month to have a baby. 😃

I would also ruthlessly go through your stuff and purge - especially if you get a “high energy” second trimester like a lot of women do - because really, moving is expensive and why bring anything you don’t need or aren’t super attached to? I’d also pack up anything you’re not likely to need in those last few months, which is probably most stuff, and LABEL YOUR BOXES.

We helped some friends move a few months ago and while they were only moving a few miles, they did not label boxes or group items together, and that made sorting and organizing a pain once they got to the new house.
 
BlueEyedLady said:
…just kidding, I’m asking for me! 😃

Very long story short, I don’t love the practice of law, so I’m switching directions. A really great opportunity presented itself on the west coast, and although I was supposed to start in August, I just found out I’m due to have a baby in September!!!:eek::D. No biggie though, they are working with me and I can put off starting until January. And, to make things even better, this is in my husband’s dream city! He’s fantasized about moving there for longer than I’ve known him, and he couldn’t be happier.

But, this means I’ll be moving from the East Coast to the west with a 4 month old, and I can’t imagine that’s easy. I’m already on the waitlist for several daycare centers and at least one is pretty sure I’ll have a spot in Jan of next year. We have our budgets worked out and my husband already has a few professional contacts out there excited to help him get a position.

So, what am I missing? I’m terrified, but so happy, excited, and filled with love. I really want to do the right things right, but this seems almost too easy. What could I be overlooking? I’m only 10 weeks, so other than my mom and husband, no one knows yet. But I need a jump on planning and honestly, I just had to tell someone!
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Congratulations!

I have some good news and some bad news.

The good news is that 4 months old is actually probably the IDEAL time to move with a baby, as they usually don’t need to be held all the time, they’re pretty happy, but they don’t have their mobility yet.

We moved into our current house when Baby Girl was 7 months old. She wasn’t quite on the move yet, and we actually managed to unpack in record time. Around that age, you can rotate them between Jumperoo, Exersaucer, and Pack N Play and they stay happy for a long time. Moving with a 1-3 year old is a lot harder.

I suggest having packers (if you can swing that). My old pediatrician also recommends having extra help for the baby during moves for safety.

Ideally, you’d have a home with stuff within walking distance–a playground, at least a minimart, a library, a coffee shop, etc. Early on, it’s nice to do a lot of walking with the baby, and it’s nice to have a destination. (I walked SO much with Baby Girl.)

Okay, on to the bad news.

You need to be prepared for illness if your baby goes to daycare, especially between about 1-3. If baby gets sick for a week (which they do from time to time), what’s your plan? That issue is one of the things that makes nannies so attractive to upper income families–a nanny will take a sick kid, but a daycare shouldn’t. There are a lot of different permutations, of course–nanny shares and a nanny that brings her child, or just a mom at home with her baby. (Back in the day, I started babysitting for another toddler around the time my oldest was 1–it was a very rewarding experience for both families and we’re still in touch.)

There’s probably some sort of big mommy forum where you’re going, so have a look at the childcare subforum.

WARNING: Learn to avoid the nuts and cultists. It’s unfortunately true that a large minority of new mothers go bonkers. Don’t let them take you, too.
 
I don’t have any advice for you, but I just wanted to say congratulations! I hope everything goes even better than you want it to! 😃

Lou
 
pensmama87 said:
I think this is all very good advice.

Congratulations on your pregnancy! My youngest was born in September and I think it’s a good month to have a baby. 😃

**I would also ruthlessly go through your stuff and purge - especially if you get a “high energy” second trimester like a lot of women do - because really, moving is expensive and why bring anything you don’t need or aren’t super attached to? I’d also pack up anything you’re not likely to need in those last few months, which is probably most stuff, and LABEL YOUR BOXES. **

We helped some friends move a few months ago and while they were only moving a few miles, they did not label boxes or group items together, and that made sorting and organizing a pain once they got to the new house.
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Very good advice!
 
Xantippe said:
There’s probably some sort of big mommy forum where you’re going, so have a look at the childcare subforum.

WARNING: Learn to avoid the nuts and cultists. It’s unfortunately true that a large minority of new mothers go bonkers. Don’t let them take you, too.
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nods furiously
 
Congratulations! We moved from IN to MN when DD was 4 weeks old with about 4 weeks notice, LOL!
Catholic1954 said:
If you can afford it, hire professional movers to do all the packing, moving, and heavy lifting. I remember when we moved from the Midwest to California, when I was a child, my mom flew out with the kids and my dad drove the family car with all things we needed until the truck arrived. Can your mom or some other female relative or friend take a few weeks off to help you unpack and get settled? At four months, the baby will probably not be sleeping all night yet and you will feel quite frazzled with loss of sleep and the stress of a new job, house, city, coast. Welcome to “left” coast. No snow here!
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I agree with hiring movers. It’s pretty much essential to this process with a very young child. My parents/aunt/MIL all came to visit the baby and packed up my whole apartment for me. I basically sat and nursed the baby and they packed. Then, the movers came and took it all away. It was amazing and I have no idea how I would have done it without them.
pensmama87 said:
I would also ruthlessly go through your stuff and purge - especially if you get a “high energy” second trimester like a lot of women do - because really, moving is expensive and why bring anything you don’t need or aren’t super attached to? I’d also pack up anything you’re not likely to need in those last few months, which is probably most stuff, and LABEL YOUR BOXES.
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This is also crucial. Since you have a great amount of lead time, you have time to do this now. Think about the fact that you are paying for everything again since you pay by the pound for the moving. Everything you put on that truck costs money.

Keep a great accounting of things as you pay for them as well. Some moving expenses can be deducted on your taxes.

Again, Congratulations on all fronts 🙂
 
Congratulations!!!

I moved with a 4 month old (but just across town) and a 9 month old (with toddler too) across the country. Really, the younger one would have been easier except my husband had to be out of the country for the actual move. For the second one, he went ahead of us and I oversaw the packing, flying out later.

Only suggestion is to keep a running list. Besides regular daycare, you should line up some pediatrician contacts and doctors for you and your husband. There’s nothing like daycare to start a mini-epidemic of whatever bug is going around and you will have different immunities built up. :rolleyes:
 
I would advise your DH to hold off on starting his job for a month or two until you guys are settled in and more familiar with the area. The last thing you want is to be locked in with jobs and a daycare you all are unfamiliar with. If things need adjusting after you are there for a few weeks or a month, leaving one person the freedom to move things around while you are at work will make your life much smoother. You’ll know what I mean after the baby comes.
 
BlueEyedLady,

Yours is probably the best post I have read on this entire site in a really long time! 🙂

Congratulations to you and your husband, I am so happy for you!

Prepare for the onslaught of advice, good and bad, all well-meaning. 😉 Luckily, you are intelligent enough to tell the difference. 🙂

This is the start of something big, something wonderful, and something exciting!
Congratulations again!
 
BlueEyedLady said:
…just kidding, I’m asking for me! 😃

Very long story short, I don’t love the practice of law, so I’m switching directions. A really great opportunity presented itself on the west coast, and although I was supposed to start in August, I just found out I’m due to have a baby in September!!!:eek::D. No biggie though, they are working with me and I can put off starting until January. And, to make things even better, this is in my husband’s dream city! He’s fantasized about moving there for longer than I’ve known him, and he couldn’t be happier.

But, this means I’ll be moving from the East Coast to the west with a 4 month old, and I can’t imagine that’s easy. I’m already on the waitlist for several daycare centers and at least one is pretty sure I’ll have a spot in Jan of next year. We have our budgets worked out and my husband already has a few professional contacts out there excited to help him get a position.

So, what am I missing? I’m terrified, but so happy, excited, and filled with love. I really want to do the right things right, but this seems almost too easy. What could I be overlooking? I’m only 10 weeks, so other than my mom and husband, no one knows yet. But I need a jump on planning and honestly, I just had to tell someone!
Click to expand...
Aw, congratulations!
 
God bless you all! Yay!
Think about having some watch the baby I your home avoid illness. It’s not that expensive in many places. I kept children to stay home with mine, and it was really wonderful for all of us.

So happy for you
Clare
 
Congratulations! The good news is that 4-month-olds are pretty portable. If I had to move with a baby, I would want one at the pre-crawling stage. I think the most difficult part will be trying to do any painting, assembling, or time-sensitive decorating projects with a little one that small, especially if you are breast-feeding. You might want to consider interviewing a mother’s helper for a the first couple weeks, until you get your home set up. Also, it was me, I would probably just stick with a pack-n-play with a bassinet and changing pad until the move, rather than try to move with nursery furniture.
 
Congrats!

How will you and the baby physically get from Point A to Point B at that time?

Each of my kids had a very specific radius where they would tolerate travel. If we went beyond that radius-- whether in terms of amount time spent in their car seats, or just the wrong time of day-- it would get very bad, very quickly. The Lions Club runs a fundraiser carnival every year half an hour away. I remember one year-- DS2 was just barely four months old— and it took me two hours to make that 25-minute drive. Usually, his radius was about two hours in the car seat before he would start getting annoyed, but that day, he was having none of it. It was one of those things where he stops breathing for a period of time because he’s so worked up with his howls, and you have to check on him to make sure he’s still alive. 🙂 I would stop and cuddle with him, nurse him, talk to him, touch him, reassure him… and he’d calm down… and then two minutes later, he would be furious and howling again. 😉

My kids in general were pretty good travelers. But not always.

If the three of y’all are traveling in the same vehicle, that’s good, because one of you can always be with the baby when they need it the most. But if you split up so that you can drive multiple vehicles, it might be difficult to keep the same rate of progress. It might be good to fly with the baby, rather than trying to do a 3000-mile drive.

(For what it’s worth, I was later able to do a 1500-mile-each-way drive with him as a 21-month-old, plus his four-year-old brother. :))
 
Allegra said:
Congratulations! The good news is that 4-month-olds are pretty portable. If I had to move with a baby, I would want one at the pre-crawling stage. I think the most difficult part will be trying to do any painting, assembling, or time-sensitive decorating projects with a little one that small, especially if you are breast-feeding. You might want to consider interviewing a mother’s helper for a the first couple weeks, until you get your home set up. Also, it was me, I would probably just stick with a pack-n-play with a bassinet and changing pad until the move, rather than try to move with nursery furniture.
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Good point.

I believe the Pack N Play bassinet is usually good until 4 months (but read the instructions).
 
Allegra said:
Also, it was me, I would probably just stick with a pack-n-play with a bassinet and changing pad until the move, rather than try to move with nursery furniture.
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That is a very good point, Allegra. Might as well get the nursery furnishings after you get where you are going. Less to move, easier to see how much space you are dealing with.
 
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